Introduction
Manyprojectsfailbecauseofthesimplestofcauses.Youdon’thavetobeageniustodeliveraprojectontime,nordoyouhavetobesteepedinamysticalprojectmanagementmethodologytobeaprojectmanager.Ifanaveragelycompetentpersoncan’tdeliveraprojectsuccessfullyafterreadingthisprimerthenIwillrunbucknakedthroughTimesSquareonmy75
th
birthday.SeeifIdon’t!Nick
Thatremindsmeofajoke…Atouristwalkedintoapetshopandwaslookingattheanimalsondisplay.Whilehewasthere,anothercustomerwalkedinandsaidtotheshopkeeper,"I'llhaveaCmonkeyplease."Theshopkeepernodded,wentovertoacageatthesideoftheshopandtookoutamonkey.Hefittedacollarandleash,handedittothecustomer,saying,"That'llbe£5,000."Thecustomerpaidandwalkedoutwithhismonkey.Startled,thetouristwentovertotheshopkeeperandsaid,"Thatwasaveryexpensivemonkey.Mostofthemareonlyafewhundredpounds.Whydiditcostsomuch?"Theshopkeeperanswered,"Ah,thatmonkeycanprograminC-veryfast,tightcode,nobugs,wellworththemoney."Thetouristlookedatamonkeyinanothercage."Hey,thatone'sevenmoreexpensive!£10,000!Whatdoesitdo?""Oh,thatone'saC++monkey;itcanmanageobject-orientedprogramming,VisualC++,evensomeJava.Allthereallyusefulstuff,"saidtheshopkeeper.Thetouristlookedaroundforalittlelongerandsawathirdmonkeyinacageofitsown.Thepricetagarounditsneckread£50,000.Thetouristgaspedtotheshopkeeper,"Thatonecostsmorethanalltheothersputtogether!Whatonearthdoesitdo?"Theshopkeeperreplied,"Well,Ihaven'tactuallyseenitdoanything,butitsaysit'saprojectmanager".AProjectManagementPrimer(©NickJenkins2006)3-43
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