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Man Law

Man Law

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Published by Mike Henderson
From: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2213557603
From: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2213557603

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Published by: Mike Henderson on Sep 19, 2007
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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06/13/2013

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Man Law
 This is the original Man Law Group. The First. Others may say that parts of this groupwere plagiarized. No parts of this group have been taken from any other group. Alllaws past #48 have been submitted by the loyal members of Man Law. We willcontinue to add new laws. Anybody who tells a member that this group needs to bedeleted needs to shut the hell up. We here at Man Law are not out to offend anybody.We are not racists, we are not bigots, and we are not sexist. I love women as much asI love beer and contact sports. We are simply a group of people with commoninterests and who are expressing and exercising their 1st amendment rights. If youhave a problem you can choose to move on. Unfortunately you will not be one of those fortunate people whose life will be positively changed by Man Law. I feel sorryfor them. If someone feels it necessary to bash Man Law, you just tell them that youand your 450000 homies are going to “educate" them.1. No wasted beer in the name of humour.2. It has been made official that under no circumstances should the male have to payfor birth control3. If your best friend is dumped by a girl it is a 6 month waiting period till she can betouched. If he breaks up with her it’s a 6 day waiting period.4. If two or more males arrived at a party by a single car, and the driving male ishooking up with a girl, it is the responsibility of the other males to find other wayshome.(The exception to this law is if the driver is hooking up with his own girlfriend, the lawis then void and the driver still holds full responsibility of driving his friend’s home)5. Short shorts have been banned… Unless in a participating in a sporting event thatdemands shorter shorts. Also no real man should be allowed to pop his collar.6. Every man shall allow one empty urinal of separation in a bathroom with three ormore urinals; law is void if there are dividers in between each urinal.7. If a girl and a guy are not officially dating then it can't be considered cheating.However...if the guy cheats with a girl that is less attractive to the one he is originallyinterested in then he is either... A) Drunk or B) Dumbass. This then gives the originalgirl the right to either get mad or laugh at you.8. No one should ever steal a man's alcohol from that man's cooler...this is the onlylaw that suffers the penalty of death.9. When bringing condoms to a party it is a man's responsibility to pack two in hispockets and one in his car as a spare in case a friend is in desperate need.10. No heavy fornication in a friend's bed. Or just wash the sheets.11. No man shall every use a rolling backpack. If you can't carry the bag then you’renot a man.
 
12. If another man's fly is down, you didn't see anything and may not make acomment about it.13. When a man is borrowing a buddies tool or other equipment, if the borrower putsany scratches or brings it back with any noticeable wear, then he is required to doone of the following: If the item costs under 50 bucks, you are required to replace it.If the item costs over 50 bucks, you are required to give him a case of beer, becausehey...who wants to spend more than 50 bucks on something that isn't yours.14. When your friend picks up a hot girl...however the hot girl has an ugly friend...it isonly right that you operate as a wing man doing whatever it is you got to do to helpyour buddy have some time alone with the hot girl. As men we are obligated tosacrifice and pay it forward for each other knowing that the favour will one day bereplayed.15. When calling shotgun, all riders of the car must be outside, and shotgun can onlybe called when the car is in view. Riders in the car are not allowed to run to shotgunand steal it before the person who called and deserves it arrives there. The driver of the car has no authority to decide on who gets shotgun. If a legitimate confrontationcomes up where the rightful owner of the shotgun can not be determined then it willbe decided by one round of paper rock scissors (with no shoot). If the two contenderstie 5 times in a row then the rightful owner of the shotgun is to be decided by a UFCcage match in which the first blood drawn decides the rightful owner of shotgun.
 Addendum to Man Law No. 15:
If at any point during the process of determining the shotgun rider a hot girl hintsthat she would like to sit up front the driver has the sole right to declare her theshotgun rider and depending upon the situation may even deny rides to all otherpassengers. However, if said hot girl is an ex of any passenger they may overrule thedriver's decision and make her ride in the back. Additionally, if all passengers happento be female then revert back to original method of deciding shotgun ridersubstituting mud wrestling for UFC cage match. The winner then gets either a coldwater hose down or shotgun the next ride unless the car is really shitty and theowner doesn’t care about muddy seats.16. It is PAPER, ROCK, and SCISSORS with no shoot. If you must say shoot, it has tobe agreed upon by both men and a witness has to be present and somewhat sober.17. When toasting with beers you clank with the bottom.18. You poke it you own it.19. The head nod is an acceptable way to greet another guy when simply walkingpast. No words are needed to be said. An upward nod is for friends, a downward nodis for fellow men.20. If a man is on vacation to a state that does not border his own, or any othercountry, it is not considered cheating if he so chooses to engage in sexual activitywith a girl other than his girlfriend. Although he should be fully aware that hisgirlfriend may not see eye to eye if she was to ever find out.21. A man should not masturbate more than 3 times in a day to insure being readyfor any unknown or known late night action. Assisting Girls does not count… rule is inexception if male party is in a bet to set a record of number of times in a day.
 
22. A man shall never wear any article of women's clothing (I.E … Girls Jeans/Pants!)unless they are the loser of such a bet… or if a man is figuratively in a girls pants…(Or any other article of clothing).23. No man in any circumstance, unless mocking a violator of this law, should pop hiscollar.24. A man should never be denied the right to adjust himself or place his hands downhis pants under any circumstances.25. Being a Pirate should be considered a Manly job because pirates get two types of booty.26. All men must eat meat. A shitload of meat; if not borderline carnivore. For noreason should a man ever be a vegetarian, or eat sick shit like tofu. Also no manshould consume any food with the terms "diet", "fat free", or any other healthysuggesting terms for the sake of "watching his weight" or dieting.27. Every man is required to learn some form of Poker before he dies.28. If a man ever does something wrong a simple "OOPS", "My Bad", or anyvariations of cuss words that get the point across will suffice, no need to say "I'mSorry"29. No man should ever hook up with his best friend's girl, no matter how hot she is. This is in effect while they are dating or "together." If they are separated refer to Law3 for the proper way to handle the situation. (Side Advice: Less guilt is involved if shecomes on to you.30. under no circumstance should any one man cockblock another mans attempt atgetting some tang. Let’s just leave that up to the tangs fat friend. Please note thatcockblocking will result in a suspension of your Man status and its privileges, and willresult in the title Manbitch.31. Every man should watch sports center at least once a day, though multipleviewings are recommended so that one can hold his own in any debate on sports thatmay arise that day.32. Under no circumstances shall any man lay a hand on a female or a child inviolence. Spanking of a woman's ass or pulling of the hair is permitted if done onrequest. Corporal punishment is permitted excluding obvious extremes. Punishmentfor the attacking male is that if other men see the assault taking place they havingthe right to take him out back behind a building and show him how to fight with realmen. In this situation more than one man may be used in the attacking of saidwoman beater because he clearly doesn’t mind an unfair fight seeing as he washitting a lady or a child to begin with. A call to the police is a very last resort andshould only be used is said male is over 6' 5" 250lb. or an ufc cage fighter. A kick tothe crotch is only called for in cases of rape. If it is merely a guy beating a woman,defenseless child, or elderly people then a legitimate beating is called for, but noshots to the crotch. If it is a case of rape however, multiple shots to the crotch arecalled for. The punishment must fit the crime and since rape is using that area of thebody, it is ok to inflict damage to it.33. If a woman is present whether family or friend no man under any circumstances

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How about the rules on a guy's social networking posts with regards to his girl, and the talks they have online?
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