Hey Mustangs, it’s that time againto decide what you are doing dur-ing the next academic year. Mostwill decide to spend another year at SMU. Some brave students,however, will venture out into theworld for a study abroad adven-ture.SMU’s other student publica-tions will advise you on living ina culturally dierent country andexperimenting with dierentfoods, music, and leisure activi-ties. But we here at
know that’s not your main con-cern and encourage you to showthose foreigners how Americansdo
it . . . literaly. For your pleasure(hopefully), we present these
veried pick-up lines.
This countrymay have goodmeat, but giveme uno segun-do, and I’ll putit to shame.
I also believe in a one child policy,and girl, you are always going tobe my one and only baby.
Hey girl, have you ever been toBangkok? I can take you theretonight. Roundtrip.
Doctors say se-men is a greatsource of pro-tein, and damnbaby you lookhungry.
There ain’t noborder that canseparate me fromyou tonight. Noteven one witha river and red-necks guarding itwith guns.
Hey girl, do you like soccer be-cause you canPelé
with my ballsany time.
I can help you with your drought,girl, I’ll be irrigating your sub-sa-haran region all night tonight.
Can I put my shrimp onyour body because youare one hot barbie.
You might as well sur-render now because I’minvading your borders whether you like it or not.
You can call me a Chanukahcandle because I can light your re for eight straight nights.
The only thingI’m hungry for in this wholecountry is your body covered inchocolate.
It’s nice to meet you,beautiful. Would you liketo smoke my joint?
I just walked through theforest naked, would youCzech me for ticks?
I’ve got the soundtrack to theSound of Music in my room. Howbout we drink some Absinthe andbone to the beat?
I know I’m thetallest guy inthe country,but I swear toGod my cock’snot very big.
I don’t know adamn thing about Fiji, please justfuck me tonight.
You can’t beat fresh fruit. I lovehow Kiwis are furry . . . and juicyon the inside. You are from here,right?
Damn girlare you withAl Qaeda,cause themtitties aresome weap-ons of mass seduction.So good luck, and remember,wrap it up.
A Muddler How To: Picking Up Abroad