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The Man Who Hates Everybody Equally by David Arthur Walters

The Man Who Hates Everybody Equally by David Arthur Walters

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Published by davidwalters
Rico hated them equally, at least until he retired.
Rico hated them equally, at least until he retired.

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Published by: davidwalters on May 04, 2010
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


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 The Man Who Hates Everybody Equallyby David Arthur WaltersA certain man who lives uptown is often heard to loudly declaim that he hateseverybody equally, regardless of their race, religion, gender, age, national originor sexual preference. It soon becomes apparent to anyone within earshot for longthat he means he hates everybody for all of those reasons rather than in spite of them.Rico is definitely not a bashful man. In fact, he has a bold temperament conduciveto the stentorian exercise of free speech at some extraordinary distance from theperson to whom he speaks, whether in Spanish or English. His views are,therefore, broadly disseminated in the neighborhood and well understood.
Rico heaps, with great relish, discriminatory remarks on everyone that can bestereotypically distinguished, which is, for all practical purposes, everyone. Yet heis well-liked by most of those distinguished people. They do not take his remarkspersonally. They appreciate the fact that the liberal aspersions castindiscriminately on their own kinds have been created equally. Somehow hisderogatory remarks cancel each other out. Besides, he is a gregarious man livingin a very crowded city where detractions, although suppressed as politicallyincorrect at work , have a high street value, a value made even higher by theprohibition at work. And, mind you, this is a city where witty jokes arespontaneously emitted give minutes after the news of heartrending tragedies.Absent those tragic occasions to make a joke, people always find something orsomeone else to laugh at, including, if they are alone, themselves.Nevertheless, when Rico came down especially hard on a particular type oneSaturday morning at the Laundromat, I began to have serious reservations aboutthe pluralism of his prejudice. He was, in my opinion, placing undue emphasis ona nationality he has cast for a crucial role in his dream of retirement, an urbanidyll he was so kind to share with me while the dryers were spinning. When heretires, he said, he shall perform a singular vigilante service for all the people hehates equally; to wit: he shall drive by phone booths at night and shootDominican drug dealers doing business there, free of charge and with greatpleasure.I inquired of him whether or not killing Jamaican or Canadian drug dealersinstead of Columbian dealers would be an equally suitable retirement hobby.After a few caustic remarks pertaining to those distinguished nationalities, heinsisted on Dominicans as his ideal target, an insistence that seemed to give thelie to his declarations of universal hatred."But what about hating everybody equally?" I asked."Only until I retire, then things will be different," he replied without a moment'shesitation.

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