2.The car EXPLODES, killing everyone but NICOLAS CAGE.INT. HOUSENICOLAS CAGE is now depressed. A HORNY FEMALE COP knocks onthe door.HORNY FEMALE COPI find your squinting, oddly-shapedface attractive somehow.NICOLAS CAGEAll I can think about is thatfamily. If only I hadn’t pulledthem over for basically no reason.HORNY FEMALE COPYeah that was dumb, but I stillwant you.NICOLAS CAGE(
squinting as if in directsunlight
)Also, I got a letter from myex-fiancee saying I have a daughterwho is now missing. I should gofind them.HORNY FEMALE COPI’m basically offering to rip myclothes off this instant.NICOLAS CAGENo, instead I’m going to find thiswoman who’s ignored my calls forthe last eight years and lives on amysterious island.(Beat.)HORNY FEMALE COPI hope you get burned alive.EXT. MYSTERIOUS ISLANDFor the rest of the movie, NICOLAS CAGE looks ANGRY ANDCONSTIPATED in every scene.NICOLAS CAGEI’m looking for my daughter. Here’sa picture.