Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map.Maria: This is it.Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?Class: Maria did.
Submitted by: Kmankoolman
A Scotsman who was driving home one night, ran into a car driven by an Englishman.The Scotsman got out of the car to apologize and offered the Englishman a drink froma bottle of whisky. The Englishman was glad to have a drink."Go on," said the Scot, "have another drink."The Englishman drank gratefully. "But don't you want one, too?" he asked theScotsman."Perhaps," replied the Scotsman, "after the police have gone."
Submitted by: Ugur Yavuzturk
A: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman.
Submitted by: Anonymous
A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine.Officer: You were speeding.Man: No, I wasn't.Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.Man: But I wasn't speeding.Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?Officer: Yes, you would.Man: What if I just thought that you were?Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk!
Submitted by: Nick Henry, ESL teacher in Korea
What are the three quickest ways of spreading a rumour (or gossip).
Tell a womanPerhaps not very politically correct in the times we live in, but worth a slight chuckle.
Submitted by: Dave & Brendan