WITCHRULE #17
Right Legend, Wrong Time……………15
Table of Contents
The Stories so far
A selection of adventures from this year’s
HUGS’ campaigns, just to give you an
idea of the chaos that ensues.
Travel Log of the dreaming…………...…2
Josh gives us a rundown of his group’s trip
into another world.
Carry on Conan Comic…………..………8
YT gives an idea of just caused him to
change the name of his campaign.
Sector 14 Crime………………………...10
Geordie Andy gives you the skinny on the
characters and early adventures of Mega
City’s finest. Ish.
Tales to Delight
A few works of fiction from our talented
pool of writers that should help the coach
journey fly by.
The Legend of the Jade Princess………12
YT’s wonderfully presented tale of eastern
delight.
Adonis………………………………….13
Newcomer Megan gets a bit dark on us
with a little teaser of things that happen
when the lights go out.
1
Geordie Andy returns with, this time with
a fantasy short.
Game Resources
A few bits and pieces that may come in
handy when inspiration dries up.
An A-Z of Mythical Creatures…………17
In his final piece, Andy does himself
proud with a hell of list of creatures to
slide into your games.
The Gáe Bulg…………………………..22
YT shows us just what the hell a Gáe Bulg
actually is, and why you really don’t want
to be hit with one.
Tree Huggers Rule!.................................24
As always Fifty puts in a big effort and
presents flora for use in games, even if
you’re not playing with a bunch of hippy
elves.
Just for Fun
Some light hearted entertainment to ease
the hangover on the way back.
The Pitch……………………………….32
Not even the worst idea for a film ever,
cheers Sparky.
Greek Word-search……………………33
Will be a bit harder than you think, with
many thanks to Brick for the effort on this
one.
The Stories so Far.
Travel Log of The Dreaming afraid to confront. The other seven feel the
same way, I am sure of it.
‘I don’t do intricate, delicate, articulate, but
We were ushered in by a striking looking
here with you in this starlight; So many
woman. She snapped a silver bracelet around
different ways to say what I want to say, I
each of our arms, and told us we were
could keep talking until daylight’
welcome to make full use of anything the
festival had to offer.
I failed to realise at the time of writing that
contrived lyric exactly how significant it
We made a hasty introduction as we passed
would become. I have never had an affinity
through the barrier. Claire was a garishly
for the spoken word. My nature has always
dressed woman in what I guessed to be her late
been that of an introvert, a loner, and as such,
teens. Nathan, who seemed to be the most
the written word has always seemed more
outspoken of the group so far, was dressed in a
natural to me. And yet, ink and paper seem as
scruffy khaki jacket and cap. Sarah stood out
inadequate tools to reconstruct fully the events
from the rest of us in her smart-casual suit that
which have taken place since I arrived at the
looked to be on the pricey side. The well
‘Eyes of Gaia’ festival yesterday.
dressed, mischievous
Nevertheless, I am
looking young man
determined to record
introduced himself as
everything as it
Dave, and the rather
transpires, if only to
more subdued
make certain to
gentleman standing
myself that I am not
beside him was
dreaming.
Andy. The quietest
member of the group,
I arrived at the
myself excluded, had
festival entrance as
to repeat her name
one of eight
several times before
competition winners
we understood her
for my song
name to be Alicia.
‘Starlight’. I found it
As I shook hands
hard to comprehend
with Tim, I noticed
why my submission
his palms were
in particular might
heavily calloused.
stand out, but I see
Remnants of oil
now what the judges
stained the skin of
saw. The ‘daylight’ is the world I knew
his forearms. Then of course there was me,
yesterday. It is illuminated but mundane, easy
Josh.
to navigate, but banal. The ‘starlight’
however, is something very different.
As we walked from the entrance to the festival
Something I cannot even begin to understand.
and gazed in awe at the rolling hills lined with
Something I have glimpsed shards of
enormous canvas buildings, it soon became
throughout my life, but have always been too

2
clear to us that not a single festival-goer had
thought to pack a tent or sleeping bag
We were directed to a beautiful little store that
sat beside the large lake occupying a sizeable
portion of the southernmost field. Tom, the
kindly owner of the store asked how he could
be of assistance. After we explained the
frankly embarrassing oversight on our behalf,
he chuckled, reassuring us that we were not
the first to have made such a mistake. He
promised us a yurt for the weekend; one
positioned by the lake, with an excellent view
of the main stage no less. We could hardly
refuse.
A trip to the local tavern was suggested as
Tom set about erecting our yurt. It was not a
long walk, and we agreed that it could be a
good way of getting to know each other a little
better.
Two hours later, we returned to the lakeside
armed with a wooden tray and as many glasses
of ale as we could carry. A white canvas
structure stood proudly upon the water, an
enchanting design framing its doorway. We
gazed upon it in drunken awe as Tom
emerged, ‘I hope she treats you well,’ he said
sincerely. With nothing else, save for a smile
and a tip of the hat, he set off in the direction
of his store.
We stood for some moments beneath the
darkening sky, staring at the elegant canvas
tent. It was Dave who broke formation first,
stepping forward, drinks tray still in hand, and
pulled aside the cloth. He froze in the
doorway momentarily, before stepping inside
without a word.
The rest of the group exchanged excited
glances, before rushing towards the door at
once.
Inside, the yurt was even larger than its
exterior had us believe. The plain white walls
were deceptively vibrant, the ground
deceptively soft.
3
As we chatted animatedly amongst ourselves,
music began to emanate from somewhere
outside of the yurt. A band had taken to the
stage that sat within view of the tent’s
doorway. We stepped out one by one and
stood shoulder to shoulder, watching the show.
The sky was dark enough for the stage lights
to cut through the darkness. As they did, they
left what appeared to be a tinted vapour trail. I
pointed this out to Tim, who peered upwards,
his peaceful expression turning to one of
confusion.
‘You there!’ A call from somewhere further
along the lake turned all of our heads. The
striking woman that had greeted us earlier that
day was striding along the lakeside, a silver
platter shining unnaturally brightly gripped
between her hands. Upon the tray sat a
number of truffles, which she offered to each
of us. Nathan scooped a handful, shoveling
them into his mouth despite the warnings of
our host. I nibbled cautiously at the edge of
mine.
The taste was unlike anything I had ever
experienced before, and without a second
thought I ate the rest of the thing whole.
We stepped back into the warmth of the yurt to
enjoy the rest of the show, inviting our new
guest in with us. To some of the group, Sarah
in particular, the festival scene was clearly a
new experience. Her mannerisms, and of
course her £300 suit gave that away. Still, she
seemed as comfortable as the rest of us to bask
in the warm glow of the beer and the free
truffles.
I don’t recall clearly the events that followed.
I turned to see my newfound friends drifting in
and out of consciousness. Claire was already
lulling on Nathan’s shoulder, who was in turn
resting his head against hers, his eyelids
flickering. I glimpsed the others crawling into
comfortable positions on the floor of the yurt.
I grabbed for the notebook and pen inside my name? He turned to face the voice and correct
jacket to scrawl the events of the day before it it.
was too late.
“It’s Nathaaargh!”
1st May 2009
Sitting on her haunches beside his bed was
Claire, the dreadlocked girl he had been
Arrived at “Eyes of Gaia” Festival. One of
introduced to the day before. Except now she
eight winners. Wrote a song. They liked it.
wasn’t Claire. She wasn’t even human.
Other seven winners seem nice. Feel
“Not anymore it’s not. Isn’t it great?” she
connected somehow. Talking rubbish. Must
smiled excitedly.
be the truffles. Knew I shouldn't have
accepted. Made the music come alive too.
Jutting out from above her shoulder blades,
Still inclined to
Aleister could
blame the
see a pair of
truffles.
colourful,
patterned, and
Follow your
fragile-looking
head. Not your
wings. A
heart. That's it,
couple of
right?
antenna adorned
her scalp,
But this place is
poking between
different. It's
the strands of
home.
hair.
Talking rubbish
again. Sleep I
Nathan raised a
think. Long
hand to his face
day. Strange
instinctively,
day. Make
shading himself
sense of it t-
from the
unnerving
*
transformation.
That was when he saw the hair on the back of
The Fae his hands. Thick, dark hair. And nails. No,
not nails, claws. They were a highly polished
“Aleister.” The voice woke him gently from black, similar to onyx. Trembling, he looked
his slumber. He raised himself onto his slowly down at his waist. An unfamiliar pair
elbows, wincing at the morning light filtering of legs lay lifeless on the white sheet. Another
through the canvas walls. “Aleister!” The cry escaped his throat as he tightened first one
voice was more forceful this time, calf, and then the other, and saw them respond
exaggerating his searing headache. in kind. The joints bent backward, kicking out
a pair of hooves rather than feet.
“What is it?” he replied with a hint of
agitation. Why was he even answering to that “What the hell has happened to me?” he
moaned.

4
“Calm down, we’ve all changed,” replied
Claire with another smile. “Look”. She
turned and motioned to the rest of the group,
who were already awake. They all crept
forward in unison, peering over Claire’s
shoulder, introducing themselves one by one.
“Franklin James Taylor Cassidy” announced
the man who used to be Dave with a tip of his
newly acquired velvet hat. A furry ginger tail
flicked out to his side, his face a hybrid of fox
and man. “The third...” he coughed proudly.
“Very pleased to re-meet you my good man”.
Nathan returned an awkward smile, his hands
probing his head, finding horns, whimpering
again.
“S-Susan Higgenbotham” whispered the timid
young girl that was Alicia, peering at him from
behind Claire’s shoulder. “J-just Susan is f-
fine...”
“Marc-Jean Plakard” said the cat that used to
be Andy rather nonchalantly. He seemed to be
taking the whole ordeal in his stride.
“Then of course there’s me, Sam” smiled
Claire.
“Xerxis” stated Tim to her left before walking
away, muttering to himself gruffly. Nathan
spied a hammer hanging from the belt of his
braces as he walked away.
“Marge Alice Cohen” said the woman they
had once known as Sarah. Even her
articulation held an air of elegance.
There was silence. The group turned to look at
the last member of the group expectantly. The
boy furthest to the right was hooded, and
dressed in black. A mask covered his nose and
mouth, leaving only his eyes and fingertips
revealed. He was sweating profusely, the skin
above his nose pale, and he seemed engrossed
in something beyond the boundaries of the
5
tent, his bloodshot eyes staring into the
distance. It was Josh.
“Oh!” he jumped as realisation struck. “Nico,
Nico Wake”. And with that, he got up and
walked back to the centre of the yurt,
scratching the side of his nose.
The rest of the group dismissed it, turning
instead back to Nathan. “And then of course,
there’s you” beamed Sam the butterfly.
“Aleister Naylor” interrupted Franklin the fox.
“The goat,” motioned Marge the Sidhe.
“The person you were always supposed to be,”
whispered Susan the Sluagh.
“Come on come on, we’re late. We’re late!”
urged a voice from the far side of the yurt.
Aleister craned his head over the huddle,
quickly lowering it again when he caught sight
of its owner.
“Guys, I don’t want to alarm you, but there’s a
giant white rabbit over there shouting at me,”
he whispered.
“Is that really the most alarming thing you’ve
seen this morning?” questioned Marc-Jean as
he stood to light a pipe.
“No,” hesitated Aleister, looking back down at
his hooves. “No, I guess it isn’t...”
“What was I thinking, letting these... these...
OAFS into my father's house?” grumbled
Franklin, almost to himself.
“Hey!” exclaimed the butterfly, whose
attention was too invested in the golden swirls
of the wallpaper to glare at him.
“Of course,” started the fox, jutting his chin
proudly, “what kind of host would I be if I
didn't invite you all to use the facilities my
father's house has to offer?”
Jean-Marc gasped. “Thank Goodness! Where Franklin left him to it, closing the library doors
is the nearest bathroom?” behind him.

“I was talking about the library,” spat Secretive Sluagh Susan was the first to enter
Franklin, eyeing the nervous cat with a hint of the library. Usually composed, if not always
repulsion. “But,” he submitted, rolling his calm, she couldn't help but emit a squeak at the
eyes, “there's a bathroom through that door sight of such a grand repository. Shelf upon
and to the right”. shelf practically quaked with information,
shuddering under the weight of leather-bound
Jean-Marc scampered from the room, panting encyclopaedias and gilded antiques. She
excitedly with each bound. A moment later, could feel it all.
the sound of water thundering on a hollow tin
bath was heard, accompanied by an audible “Now all I ask is that you be caref- hey!”
exhalation. Franklin was interrupted by the Satyr, who
tutted, stamped his hooves, and leapt onto the
“If the rest of nearest shelf
you would to scour its
like to follow contents.
me,”
grimaced the “Stop,
fox, ushering they're not
the group secure!”
through a set pleaded
of enormous Franklin,
wooden stepping
doors. forward to
catch
“Is that... a Aleister, then
bus?” thinking
questioned better of it as
Xerxis, the wooden
fingering the frame began
heel of the to groan.
hammer
attached to his belt. “No. No. No,” muttered the goat as he pulled
each book out in turn, before tossing it the
“Huh?” Franklin followed Xerxis's line of floor, unsatisfied with the titles of the books.
sight to a big Routemaster bus that sat on the
side of the enormous driveway they had “What exactly is it we're looking for again?”
entered from. “Oh! That! I always forget we whispered Nico, the second Sluagh. Marge,
have that,” chuckled Franklin ironically. the Sidhe, leant towards him.
“Yeah that doesn't work.”
“Something about a Gryphon,” she replied,
“Is that so...” responded Xerxis, walking watching Aleister through narrowed eyes as
towards the day as he did so. she did so.

Suddenly, the sound of a hoof skating across

wood echoed through the vast space as

6
Aleister clung firmly to the wood, one of his
legs slipping from the edge of the narrow shelf
he was standing on. After regaining a little of
his composure, he turned to the group.
“Phew, that was a close-” but he never
managed to finish the sentence. Even as he
spoke his centre of gravity was being
upturned, the entire bookshelf towering over
him, rushing towards the floor.
Franklin leapt into action, gliding towards the
goat as the books toppled. At full tilt, the fox
ploughed into the goat's midriff, ripping him
from the shelf and forcing him out of harm's
way.
The pair turned from their new position on the
rug, just in time to watch the shelf fall into the
next stand along. A moment's silence later,
and that too began to tumble. Like dominoes,
each bookcase followed the last in its journey
towards the floor.
“Oh f-” started Aleister.
“For God's sake!” finished Franklin, holding
his temples.
“Well,” yawned Aleister, “I think it's time to
be turning in. Could you show me where I
might find a bed.”
“Yes,” replied Franklin in a daze. “I think that
would be best”. And with that, he escorted
Aleister and Marge, who continued to shake
her head at the Satyr, from the room.
“I think I'll join them,” said butterfly Sam to
Nico. “Are you coming?” she prompted. Nico
nodded, his eyes trained on Susan, who had
7
folded her legs and taken a spot in the corner
of the room. She wore a look of despair.
Eventually Sam gave up, leaving the two
Sluagh on their own. Nico crossed the room to
join Susan.
“What is it?” he whispered
“The books.”
Nico followed her fingers with his eyes as she
picked up one book, then another. Then, she
let go. The books remained, hovering, the
pages rustling in a non-existent breeze. He
quickly got to his feet and backed against the
wall as books began to rise from the floor.
With another flick of the wrist, Susan forced
the bookcases back onto their feet. Then, a
blinding white light and the sound of
thousands of books being hurtled through the
air at once filled the room. When Nico
stopped shielding his eyes, they were met with
the image of a tiny girl standing in the middle
of a perfectly organised repository. She held a
single book in her hands as she approached
him.
“I think I'm going to get some sleep now” she
croaked, handing him the book, before
opening the door and exiting the library. Nico
stood in awe for a moment, gazing at the
books standing proudly atop their shelves as if
the Satyr had never been there. Then he
looked down at the book in his hand, his eyes
contorting in confusion.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory...
 RPG CAMPAIGN: “CARRY ON CONAN”

EVENT: “THE TAKING OF AMALRIC THE SAGE”

In Comic Book Script Format - By I F WHITE

PAGE ONE

PANEL ONE

Full page width.

CAPTION: ..... WET BEAVER COVE - SOMEWHERE ON THE PICTICH

COAST...

FARADAH the Assassin confronts AMALRIC the Sage on the beach.

KASCH the Druid climbs into a boat. NORRICK the Barbarian sits
there, oar in hand.

FARADAH
So you ate the Pict’s babies?

AMALRIC
It wasn’t me, I was possessed!

NORRICK
Hurry Up, the Picts are coming.

KASCH
Start rowing - they can catch us up.

PANEL TWO

Full page width.

FARADAY, AMALRIC, KASCJ and NORRICK sit in the boat. NORRICK

and KASCH row. Picts line the beach, a PICT SHAMAN in their
midst.

PICT SHAMAN
By the power of JABBA-SAG...

FARADAH
Look, they have a Shaman too.

AMALRIC
Wonder what he’s doing?

KASCH

8
 I have a bad feeling about this.

NORRICK
What’s that gurgling noise?

PANEL THREE

Half page width on left.

SFX: ......... GURGLE, SPLOOSH.

A huge WATER ELEMENTAL rises out of the sea.

PANEL FOUR

Half page width on right.

The WATER ELEMENTAL lifts AMALRIC into the air.

WATER ELEMENTAL
Gurgle!

AMALRIC
Argh! Help!

PANEL FIVE

Half page width on left.

FARADAH holds a dagger.

FARADAH
Our weapons are useless. Any ideas?

KASCH
Leave him. Row for your lives.

PANEL FIVE

Half page width on right.

FARADAH, NORRICK and KASCH in the boat.

FARADAH
Okay.

NORRICK
Um, okay.

CAPTION: ..... AND SO, AMALRIC WAS DRAGGED KICKING AND HISSING
TO A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH AS THE THREE
HEROES MADE GOOD THEIR ESCAPE.
Legal Eagles

9
 Sector 14 Examiner – 15th October 2131
A New Way to Police the Streets?
Editorial by Jacob Eisenburg
The last month of life in Sector 14 may not
have been too different to many of its
inhabitants, but there has been a marked
change in how this sector is being police
by the Justice Department. Recently, the
newest recruits at the Sector House have,
for the first time, been assigned into what
is apparently an investigation and rapid
response squad, incorporating all of the
major branches of the Department. Such
tactics have indeed been used before, but
never for extended periods of time and
never with members with little experience
of the sector and its workings. Indeed
even the squad’s leader, Judge Sweeney
(who has also the squad’s de-facto
spokesperson with the media and has
become something of a local celebrity) is
woefully inexperienced in his role.
However, this squad, despite its obvious
flaws, has been producing results. From
the destruction of an apparent extra-
dimensional creature at Dotty Parker
Block to the thwarting of a gangland hit at
Al’s Smokatorium, the squad has
accumulated an impressive tally of arrests
and gained fame and infamy in equal
doses. Here is a list of their memorable
arrests and busts:
Destroyed an apparent extra-
dimensional creature outside Dotty
Parker, which was claimed to have
abducted and killed at least 12 citizens.
Arrested or killed all but one of the ‘Mo-
Pad Pirates’, a group of armed robbers
that specialised in robbing Mo-Pads and
escaping using hover-boards.
Arrested the popular punk band ‘Whyte
Noizz’ for incitement to riot
10
Assisted in the embezzlement
investigation into Guzzman’s Investments
Broke a large-scale riot in Buzz Aldrin
Block, directly linked to recent charges of
corruption in the block council revealed
by the media
Killed the members of the innovative
‘Flying Fatties’ bank robbery gang
Killed the Sector 14 Slasher
Here is a run-down of the team’s
members:
Judge Sweeney
The de-facto leader and poster boy of the
team; Sweeney has become a fairly
common site on the sector's vid-screens,
with witty one-liners suggesting that this
young Street Judge may become a tri-vid
phenomenon, like the current Chief Judge
Francisco. Sweeney has shown
remarkable skill at applying and enforcing
the law; taking on a riot almost singe-
handed being his most impressive feat to
date. Sweeney's abilities with the daystick
are also fast becoming top news in the
local judge-spotting circles. However,
Sweeney's conduct has been called into
question during the events surrounding
the death of Dwayne Peachman in the
sector's red light district, which he was
photographed apparently embracing a
sex-droid while his partner bludgeoned
Peachman to death, Sweeney has also
been involved in several mob-related
incidents, perhaps indicating that he is
becoming an expert in this field.
Judge Todd
A prodigal talent with a Lawmaster, Judge
Todd has been seen enforcing law on the
roads of Sector 14 in the few months since
her graduation. Those citizens who have
encountered Judge Todd have described
her as being kind, considerate and fair;
almost the exact opposite of most of the
other Judges
working in this city.
Despite this, Todd
has managed to
rack up no small
amount of
enemies, after
arresting the
popular band
Whyte Noizz.
There have also
been rumours that
Todd's attitude has not gone down well
with some of her other colleagues. Todd
recently came to the attention of the
media for bludgeoning to death Dwayne
Peachman, an unemployed citizen
apparently suffering from Future Shock
Syndrome.
Tek-Judge Glass
The team’s apparent computer, forensic
and mechanical expert, Glass has already
been given a commendation for his use of
technology in solving crimes. The young
Tek-judge has also shown bravery and
street smarts on a par with street judges,
making him one of the most versatile
members of the unit. However, his
exemplary conduct has had repercussions
throughout the Tek-Judge contingent of
Sector 14, with unconfirmed reports of
discontent between Glass and other
members of his division; including his
superior, Judge Richardson. Only time will
tell what lasting changes this apparent
rivalry will hold for the sector’s Judge,
especially in the apparent increase in
workload placed on Tek Division.
Med-Judge Deed
Med-Judge Deed was the first of the new
recruits to come to the public's attention,
by preventing the kidnap of a young girl
11
from the Mo-Pad
festival and
unearthing a
paedophile ring in
the process. Since
then, Deed has
provided a solid
backbone, for the
most part.
However, a lack of
street skills may
have been
highlighted after a mentally unstable girl
being processed by Deed committed
suicide by throwing herself off her block,
taking one of Deed's comrades with her!
Since then, Deed has not been seen on
active street duty.
Psi-Judge Emmerson
Psi-Judge Emmerson is an enigma as far as
much of the citizenry is concerned. Psi-
Judges are a rare sight, and most are
certainly less disciplined than this rookie
judge. However, Emmerson is more well-
known from starting a fashion trend than
any flamboyant arrests; the much
publicised Psi-Judge has been responsible
for some documented incidents of
exploding heads in the sector, leading to
an increase in the number of tinfoil hats
being seen around the sector. Despite the
unusual severity of the justice dispensed
by this young psychic, the Justice
Department has already granted
Emmerson a commendation, and have
apparently invited the rookie to teach at
the Academy of Law.
While it is too early to know what long-
term impact this new method of policing
our streets is going to have, the initial
indications are promising that the
integrated approach that this team offers
may have a positive impact on the harsh
streets of Mega-City One.
 The Legend of the Jade Princess
A long time ago in a far away Eastern land, there lived a beautiful Princess by the
name of Chou Xien.
Her father, Chou Zhou, was a shrewd diplomat, a great military leader and a highly
accomplished practitioner of the Black Arts. He ruled with an iron fist and upheld
the old ways with prejudice above all else.
Zhou had ambitious plans to marry his daughter to the emperor of a neighbouring
nation. Wedding plans were made, but all preparations fell apart when it became
apparent that Xien was with child. To say Zhou was furious would be an
understatement.
Xien professed a celestial adoration for her lover - a common farmer named Bou Li
- but to no avail. Zhou had Li executed in front of her, along with his parents,
siblings and all of his relatives two generations distant. Xien was locked away in a
tall tower. Relations between the two potential allied nations deteriorated rapidly.
When the baby was born, it was thrown into the sea and Xien was transformed
into jade; then placed on a pedestal in the royal court.
War broke out with the neighbouring nations. While Zhou was away on campaign,
a group of city guards loyal to the Princess stole her body away and fled with haste
to the West.
Zhou had cast a curse upon any who spent too much time in the presence of the
transformed Xien, such that they too would be turned to jade over time. As they
fled West, the liberators occasionally had to leave one or more of their number
behind, thus creating a trail of jade warriors.
However, by the time the war was over, many of them had been hidden or
destroyed and even Zhou’s tremendous magical efforts could not locate the Jade
Princess. After a time, the episode was forgotten - most of the royal records
destroyed by Zhou himself.
Centuries passed, dynasties rose and fell, and the legend faded. Most scholars of
history believe the statues were broken down, cut and re-cut, and eventually
distributed throughout the world, never to be reassembled.
An interesting final twist to the legend suggests that a male-line descendent of Li
could break the spell with a single kiss, thus transforming Xien back to flesh and
blood. This is obviously totally irrelevant due to the fact that his only son was
hurled into the sea at birth and drowned.
But… what no one realises is that the infant did not perish! He was washed ashore and
found by a fisherman’s wife who raised him as her own.
The descendants of Li still walk the earth to this day…

12
 Adonis g I excelled at. I have always chosen to be
completely honest, and honestly, I am
completely gorgeous. This truth kept me
These places. These clubs. The cess pits alive, the fact that I could love myself
for the heathenistic youth to indulge in the entirely fought away any loneliness that
forbidden. I love them. So full of eternity bought forth to challenge me. Any
movement, the purest throbbing life. guilt.
Intoxication swam through the air, the As always I had bought a drink. A
stench of potent alcohols, modern tobacco luminous cocktail was the choice of the
rolls and smokes that made the mind day, something with a sparkling name and
spark. Each body here was rank with it. It the sharp tang of the sweetest citrus.
drowned their senses and saturated every Though I didn’t drink a drop, only
pore, mingling with the sweetest liquid appreciated its hideous colour as it lay
salts that rolled down the pulsating mass. discarded on the table. It’s nothing but a
A heavy bass roared intrusively within the necessity really, a clever prop to blend
walls, shaking them to the foundation and with the crowd.
heaving the people inside to its guttural
howl. And the crowd is what I searched, not only
with my eyes but with my mind. Searched
I belong amongst the debauchery that such for the perfect catch, the unfortunate of the
places own. The perfect hunting ground tonight. They are never the same. Male or
for the spectacular specimen of a predator female is of no importance, only their
that was me.
beauty, their shape, even something as
I always choose the same seat. A well insignificant as an intriguing twinkle of
shadowed corner, perfectly concealing the light that get tangled within their eyes. But
oddities of my glorious curse, but never in the end these things are only remnants
dimming the radiance of my spectacular of the superficial and vain personality that
beauty. infects
I’m well me, that
aware is me. In
that this the end
must there is
sound only the
bold, my hunger,
unwaveri the
ng self longing.
assurance The lusty
in my thirst
looks, but demandin
modesty g its fill
has never that stirs
been at the
somethin core of

13
my being. Keeping me animated, keeping
me sane.
Perfection.
A male, in the centre of the crowd, trapped
within the brutal sounds. Desperately he
flailed, as though he was already in my
grasp, seduced now only by the drug
induced comatose.
He stood at an impressive height, his hair
in short spikes to reveal soft features and
gentle blue, almond shaped eyes. He
possessed a delicious well toned chest that
he had poorly, and deliberately no doubt,
hidden beneath a tight black top,
companioned with a pair of plain black
jeans
Simple mysticism to look upon. As no
doubt I was to him. But I had to wait, I had
to prolong my anxiety and watch, desire
fevered my body, its pain swelled in my
gut. This is part of my ritual, for the
heavenly pleasure to come would be
spoiled without the precious vanity of
myself indulgent pain.
I caught him, as he stumbled down an
alley to vomit no more than a few hours
later. Violently he retched, spilling tainted
liquor onto the pavement surrounding him,
onto his vainly polished boots. I had let my
shadow fall across him, and as he jumped
to see who interrupted his purge, he found
himself caught gently by the chin. He
allowed my chilled hand to run over his
smooth, snow kissed complexion as I
gazed intensely down into the sapphire
pools that were his eyes. I leant gently
forward, using my weight to carefully pin
him against the wall, intending not to
bruise him, and brought my mouth to meet
the curving, full shape of his lips. Warmth
14
greeted me, enticed me. I wrapped my
powerful arms about him, held him tight to
me as I forced his lips apart with my
tongue and deepened the fatal embrace.
The fresh acidic taste clung bitterly as he
responded greedily. I pulled briefly from
the exchange only to return with a litter of
teasing kisses down the side of his neck as
his breathing grew heavier in my ear,
tenderly stroking as it lifted my hair. He
gasped sharply as I retracted my lips and
sank my razored fangs deep into his neck.
Nectar sprang forth onto my waiting
tongue as I wrapped my mouth about the
wound and absorbed the first draught.
Ecstasy absorbed me and with each fresh
draught he writhed lustily, groans escaping
his lips, only heightening my pleasure.
His death had come quickly. I cast the
pitiful remnants of the once delicious man
to the floor. His blood slithered in me,
shivering through my limbs. Skin prickled,
as though his now deathly cold hands
stroked my body in long, light strokes. The
heat of his eternal and final gift flowing
freely in my veins.
The evidence of the kill shined bright in
the rosy patches of my cheeks, the flushed
pink of my lips, even the flashing gleam of
my inhuman eyes shone with renewed
light.
I took my leave. Aimed to return home, to
sit and converse with my partner Naemr
before succumbing to the protective sleep
from the rising sun that ever sought to
scorch my precious flesh. Gorged and
warm from the kill I moved about the
streets, impatient in my anticipation of the
crimson nights ahead.
 Right Legend, Wrong Time rearguard and came and patched things up
when the fights were done. I weren't much
Caleara, her name was. Only known as the of a fighter, but they brought me along
Black Witch of Madraag now; those who because they needed the numbers, and they
knew her name, before the shy young trusted me. We made our way to her keep
sorceress turned to Darkness, are all in the under t'cover of night, skirting our way
earth and gone, 'cept I knew her once – she round her patrols of magikly-altered
was shy, soldiers and
quiet, but diving into a
prodigal cave in the
with the use cliff face
of her where a
powers. passage led
Course, she into the
built up her bowels of
powers over the castle.
time, putting
a Once inside,
stranglehold we split into
over the two groups;
great port of we knew
Madraag that the
and the Witch
surrounding would've
area. been in one
of two
By the time places,
I returned either her
from private
m'travels, chambers or
about twenty the Great
years later, Hall. Me
she'd got the and Markus
whole drew the
province chambers,
under her and snuck
sway, her our way up
own little dark kingdom. When we got to the top of the keep; Caleara had gotten
back, the “resistance” hired us to try and complacent, and had only a few guards
infiltrate the castle and kill the Black inside the keep to protect her. That, and
Witch. The three men I was with, they there being no servants about at this hour,
were genuine heroes 'n' adventurers. Me, I meant we were able to slowly make our
was the medic, the guy they normally left way to the top. Once we arrived outside
in charge of the baggage or use as a her chambers, we found two guards

15
standing guard outside her chambers, and
we heard sounds coming from beyond the
door. Both Markus and I knew that meant
the Witch was inside. Taking the guards
was easy enough for a trained fighter like
Markus, his hand crossbow taking the first
in his voice box before running the other
through. All that was left for me to do was
to run my short sword through the gurgling
guard, cutting off his voice and lowering
his body to the floor.
With that, Markus and I summoned our
courage and barged through the door. We
found her chambers bathed in light from
torches and cream and purple silks. The
Witch was lying on a four-poster bed to the
side of the room, naked and in full rut with
a muscular man, but both of them were
looking at us. We charged them, swords
raised, and...The next thing I remember
was being on the flat of my back in the
middle of the room. Caleara was standing
above me, Markus’s sword in her hand. I
looked round, still shocked, and saw
Markus in a bloody heap across the room.
The Witch smirked; she recognised me,
called me by my name. I couldn’t reply;
whether by my doing or hers, I were
frozen in terror. She chided me, chided me,
for raising arms against her, then raised her
blade to strike at me.
My hand flexed, and for a second, the
terror faded, and I realised that m’sword
was still in my hand. In that second, I
lunged forward, slipping the steel through
her guard. The power of m’lunge pushed
the blade through her breastbone and into
her heart. I’ll never forget the look in her
eyes, a moment of surprise and pain
followed by…I dunno, relief?
Tranquillity? Then she was gone, slumped
on the floor as her lifeblood flowed
16
through m’fingers. I started out of my
thoughts when the man charged me, naked
as a babe and screaming – maybe in anger,
maybe in grief. I pulled my sword out and
up to block, but to slowly. It was a miracle
that Tamas and Julian arrived at the
moment, and Tamas put a hand-crossbow
bolt through the monster’s chest. I don’t
remember much after that; the two of them
dragged me out the castle and into the
night.
That was it – the Black Witch was dead.
Of course, the others embellished their
tales a bit; say how I ‘slew the witch in an
epic battle’. Bollocks, the whole lot! I
killed her because I was pants-pissing
terrified, but not as much as Caleara
thought. But I got what I wanted; I was a
hero, like I had always dreamed of being.
Of course, I wasn’t ready for the life I
wanted, but I spent the rest of my able-
bodied days fighting for King and Country.
Don’t thank me yet, boy. In truth, I believe
that the start of my tale is also the worst
point. Yes, the Witch was a corrupt tyrant,
but all the little fish; Erik the Mad, the
Spearbane Legion…they were all kept in
check by her, y’see. So by killing Caleara,
did I condemn us all to decades of strife
and civil war?
Was I the right hero at the wrong time?
Adrik, Slayer of the Black Witch of
Madraag
Statement taken on his death-bed by Jakob
Cooper, of the Royal Library Archives
An A-Z of Mythical Creatures That can be
Incorporated into
Role-Playing Games
by Andy Smith
A: A Bao A Qu
This strange creature originates from the
Malay Peninsula. Described as having
many tentacles and a soft smooth skin, it
waits for unwary pilgrims at the bottom of
the Tower of Victory at Chitor. Pilgrims
come to climb this tower, each level
representing a further stage on the journey
towards enlightenment. As the pilgrim
climbs, the creature grows stronger,
changing colour and shape, drawing the
life force from the unsuspecting victim.
Supposedly, the creature will only attain a
final form, and be fully alive, when a
pilgrim reached the top of the tower. To
date, no-one has been dedicated enough to
do this. The A Bao A Qu is bound to the
tower until such time a truly enlightened
seeker arrives and climbs to the top.
B: Burach Bhadi
On the Western Isles of Scotland, Burach
Bhadi was a serpentine leech or worm with
nine eyes on the top of its head. Living in
the shallow water inlets or lochs, it could
make its way inland up steams and ditches.
Whoever was riding beside these waters
had to take care that the horse's scent did
not bring the Burach Bhadi to the surface.
If it did, the great leech would attach itself
to the horse's legs pulling horse and rider
under to be consumed at leisure. The
Burach Bhadi was also known as the
Wizard's Shackle, from the way that its
sucking mouth grapples on to the limbs or
horses.
C: Celestial Stag
In Chinese Myth, the Celestial Stag is a
deer capable of human speech and
understanding. It lived both in the heavens
17
and in the underworld where it wandered
in mines and caverns, offering to show lost
miners where rich gems were if only they
would help it to the surface. The surface of
the Earth was not its proper place, however
and should the Celestial Stag set foot upon
it, it would become an amorphous blob of
diseased jelly.
D: Domovoi
In Slavic tradition, the Domovoi are
protective house spirits. They help with
household chores and are treated as one
one of the family. It is important to put
down a saucer of milk or some bread near
the stove, which is where the Domovoi go
to rest. If the Domovoi is disturbed, then
so is the household. If they take a dislike
to someone, you can be sure that everyone
will know, for they will torment them,
misplace their possessions and play tricks.
A piece of salt bread wrapped in a white
cloth is an offering that will placate the
Domovoi if you get on their wrong side.
Normally quiet and invisible, Domovoi
often make noises to warn the household
of impending death and trouble. If they
play on a comb, making music, then a
wedding is likely. The pranks of Domovoi
resemble those of poltergeists, where
furniture is displaced, objects move and
dirt appears in clean places for no good
reason. If a Domovoi is very angry, it can
sneak into the bedroom and sit upon a
sleeper and suffocate him to death.
E: Echeneis

The first we hear of this creature is in the
1st-century Historica Naturalis of the
Roman Pliny the Elder in which he
describes the existence of a tiny sea
serpent, roughly 6 inches long, but able,
despite its size, to prevent a ship from
moving once it has attached itself to the
hull. After this time, the Echeneis became
widely known among travellers and sailors
of the world's oceans. Also notorious as
the Remora or Mora, it inhabited the polar
seas and apparently could freeze the air
with its breath. Early explorers who found
themselves caught and immobilised in icy
waters believed this indicated the presence
of the Echeneis. Pliny thought that the
great Roman general Mark Antony lost the
battle of Actium because one of the
creatures attached itself to the hull of his
ship, thus preventing him from
manoeuvring and commanding his navy as
he wished. The Echeneis is frequently
portrayed in medieval bestiaries.
F: Fastitocalon
This is a name for one of the many
monstrous creatures that float on the
oceans of the world, and have an
appearance of islands, complete with a
hard rocky surface and flora and fauna.
Unsuspecting seamen who step on to this
seeming island soon find themselves in
trouble as it sinks below the water, taking
them with it.
G: Great Galactic Ghoul
18
The subject of modern folklore among the
mission scientists from the Pasadena
Launch Centre in the USA. The Great
Galactic Ghoul is said to be a cosmic
monster that floats in the most distant
reaches of outer space and preys upon
whatever travels through space. Possessed
of a vast, formless, blue and pink body
with a huge mouth, this creature has been
blamed for a number of failed missions
and destroying both Russian and American
space modules; between 1970 and 1998, as
many as 14 Russian modules aimed at the
planet Mars disappeared without trace, as
did several from the USA.
H: Hyena Men
In Mali, Hyena Men are spirits who take
the forms of men and of hyenas whenever
they like. They have an insatiable appetite
for meat and will do anything to obtain a
massive blow-out meal. Hyena Men can be
made by magical spells, which are
obtained from one which has eaten human
flesh. This magic helps them become
hyenas at night, They have been known to
dig in cemeteries and feast on corpses. In
South Africa, Hyena Men are said to have
two mouths, one for talking and one for
chomping bones. These mouths are set in
heads which can appear in one form only,
It is essential for a Hyena Man to show his
human face to his intended victim so that
he is put off his guard. When they are
about in the world during the day, Hyena
Men look very handsome, unlike the
Hyena Men of West Africa, who not only
look strange in their human form, but
whose odour has a suggestive hyena reek
to it.
I: Invunche
A vampire-like monster from the legends
of the people of Chile. Also known as 'The
Master of the Hide', the Invunche is
described as a composite beast-man who
resembles a huge swollen bladder, Perhaps
because of its size, this creature never
leaves its cave, which can only be accessed
by means of a narrow tunnel under a lake.
A much smaller and less fearsome creature
called Trelquehuecuve assisted this
terrifying monster. Acting on behalf of its
masters, the Trelquehuecuve would lure
young girls caught swimming in the lake
and take them to its master, who would
drain them of their blood.
J: Jidra
The Jidra grows up out of the earth like a
plant, and remains permanently attached to
the soil by a single root. It partakes of both
animal and vegetable from, but looks like a
harmless plant to those who approached it.
It has a voracious appetite and consumes
everything that comes within reach. Its
bones are highly prized as an aphrodisiac
when ground into powder and added to
wine. The only way to kill the Jidra was to
sever its root.
K: Kalevanpojat
A tribe of demonic giants from the
traditions and folklores of Finland. Their
name means ' sons of Kaleva' and they are
extremely dangerous; Kaleva was a
primordial being and warrior. They hate all
human beings and like nothing better than
to destroy field of growing grain and turn
areas of rich harvest into wasteland. They
also like to destroy fine forests.
L: Lorelei
In German folk tradition, Lorelei is a water
nymph who lives in the echo of cliffs on
the river Rhine near Sankt Goarshausen.
Lorelei was originally a young girl who
drowned herself in the waters there. She
would rise from the waters and singe her
song, combing her hair to lure sailors to
their deaths, like the Sirens of old.
M: Mauthe Dhoog
An infamous Black Dog on the Isle of
Man. It is variously described as the size
19
of a calf with eyes like pewter plates, or as
a spaniel with shaggy hair. There are
numerous accounts of people who have
encountered the creature; one such tale
speaks of a time in the 17th Century when
Peel Castle was occupied by military
forces. A bored soldier on guard duty,
having had a few drinks, bragged that he
would search for the Mauthe Dhoog. His
terrified cries brought his fellows to a
corridor, where he was found lying face
down, gibbering about the Dhoog. Soon
afterwards he died. A similar fate befell a
Methodist minister brought in to exorcise
the creature.
N: Negret
According to the Catalan legends of
Majorca, the Negret is a small dark-
skinned fairy who, if touched by a candle
by a human being, will turn into a pile of
coins.
O: Ouroboros
A vast serpent-dragon of ancient Egyptian
mythology, which represents eternity and
is depicted as devouring its own tail. At
the same time, it completely renews itself,
a process which will bring about the end of
time if ever interrupted. The Ouroboros
became a famous symbol in the traditions
of magic and sorcery, and is often to be
found in talismans once used by rushed down to the Vistula to slake the
magicians. terrible thirst brought on by the sulphur.
He became swollen with water and finally
P: Pisuhand exploded.

In Estonian folk tradition, Pisuhand is the T:Tikbalang

small dragon that guards each house. Each
dragon has a serpentine body and is only
2ft in length. It is also known as the Puuk.

Q:Qiqirn

In Inuit mythology, Qiqirn is a bald dog

spirit. It has some hair on its feet, ears,
mouth and tail-tip but is strangely hairless
elsewhere over its head, body and limbs. It
is a large animal which puts great fear
upon men and dogs; however, it is also
fearful itself and tends to run away when
anyone makes a sound.

R: Roane

The Roane is a seal in Gaelic tradition

who, like the Selkie, can throw its skin and
assume human shape. Roanes have a more
This creature, from Filipino mythology, is
forgiving disposition than Selkies, who
described as having the body and head of a
often avenge the death of one of their
horse and the lower body of a human. The
number by raising storms.
Tikbalang preys upon travellers, confusing
them so that no matter how far they walk
S:Smok Wawelski
they cannot escape him. People who wish
to break his spell must ask permission out
In Polish Folklore, Smok Wawelski is the
loud to pass, being careful to walk quietly
dragon of Wawel Hill, Krakow, who lives
so as not to disturb the Tikbalang. The
in a cave on the banks of the Vistula. The
Tikbalang may also be able to transform
cathedral and castle of Krakow stand upon
itself into a human and – even more
Wawel Hill and the dragon is associated
frighteningly – into someone known to its
with the founding of the city. It is said that
victim. He leads his victims into the forest,
Smok Wawelski plundered the land of
where they are frequently lost, never to be
livestock and killed indiscriminately
seen again.
unless it was given a young girl once a
month. King Krak wished to stop this evil
U: Undine
custom – especially as the only suitable
girl left was his own daughter. In the time-
In European magical lore, an Undine is an
honoured fashion, Krak vowed to marry
elemental spirit of the water. Undines are
his daughter to any man able to beat the
invoked in magical workings requiring the
dragon. A cobbler's apprentice names
cooperation of the waters. The leader of
Szewczyk Dratewka stuffed a lamb with
the Undines is called Necksa.
sulphur and left it outside the dragon's
cave. After eating it, Smok Wawelski
V: Vishap
20

In Armenian folklore, Vishap was the
dragon who lived on the peaks of Mount
Ararat. The legend surrounding the dragon
caused many warriors to make the attempt,
not out of the glory of subduing or killing
it, but solely to gain the gift that Vishap
might uniquely convey to them. For it is
said that Vishap's blood was so poisonous
that any weapon that came into contact
with it would partake of its venom,
rendering all subsequent blows with that
weapon completely deadly to any
wounded by it.
W:White Hart
In European folklore and heraldry, the
white hart is a magical white stag whose
appearance signifies the beginning of
extraordinary adventures. White harts
draw adventurers deep into the forest
where lies the margins of the Otherworld.
X:Xiang Yao
21
In Chinese folklore, Xiang Yao is a
monster with nine human heads and the
body of a serpent. It goes about in the
company of a black dragon called Gong-
Gong. Their dung befouls watercourses
turning them into stinking swamps.
Y: Yakshini
In Hindu belief, Yashini is a forest
goddess or dryad who appears as a
shapely, smiling woman on the pillars of
temple and gateways, inviting the
worshippers in. But in wild places they
take the form of horse-headed beings with
the bodies of women. According to legend,
Prince Vijana once came upon a Yakshini
who enchanted his men to stillness. He
pursued her into the deep forest where she
turned into a beautiful girl called Kuvanna.
She promised to release his men only if he
married her.
Z:Zlatorog
In Slovenian folklore, the Zlatorog is a
fabulous beast that has the body and pure
white coat of a chamois but with horns of
gold. It grazed upon the topmost peak of
Mount Triglav and often lured treasure-
hunters after it through dangerous ravines
and defiles where the less cautious fell to
their deaths. Only one hunter was able to
wound the Zlatorog, though he failed to
obtain its golden horns. Nevertheless, the
blood spilt from the wounds formed a red
flower, the carnation, which is now the
emblem of Slovenia.

The Gáe Bulg
The Gáe Bulg (also Gáe Bulga, Gáe
Bolg, Gáe Bolga, , meaning "notched
spear", "belly spear", "swelling spear",
"bellows-dart", or possibly "lightning
spear", was the spear of the great Celtic
hero Cuchulain in the Ulster Cycle of
Irish mythology. It was given to him by
his martial
arts teacher,
the warrior
woman
Scáthach,
and its
technique
was taught
only to him.
It was made
from the bone of a sea monster, the
Coinchenn, that had died while fighting
another sea monster, the Curruid.
Although some sources make it out to be
simply a particularly deadly spear,
others - notably The Book of Leinster -
state that it could only be used under
very specialized, ritual conditions:
“The Gáe Bulg had to be made ready for use
on a stream and cast from the fork of the
toes. It entered a man's body with a single
wound, like a javelin, then opened into thirty
barbs. Only by cutting away the flesh could it
be taken from that man's body”
The Táin, translated by Thoman
Kinsella
In other versions of the legend, the
spear had seven heads, each with seven
barbs. In the Táin Bo Cuailnge,
Cúchulainn received the spear after
training with the great warrior master
Scáthach in Alba. She taught him and his
foster-brother, Ferdiad, everything the
same, except she only taught the Gáe
22
Bulg feat to Cuchulainn. He later used it
in single combat against Ferdiad. They
were fighting in a ford, and Ferdiad had
the upper hand; Cúchulainn's
charioteer, Láeg, floated the Gáe Bulg
down the stream to his master, who cast
it into Ferdiad's body, piercing the
warrior's armor and "coursing through
the highways and byways of his body so
that every single joint filled with barbs."
Needless to say, Ferdiad died soon after.
On a separate
occasion,
Cúchulainn also
killed his own
son, Connla, with
the spear. In both
instances, it was
used as a last
resort, as once
thrown it proved
invariably fatal.
The name Gáe Bulg may be related
linguistically to Fergus mac Roich’s
sword, Galadbola.
The Gáe Bulg, and weapons based upon
it, continues to appear in modern fiction,
most notably fantasy fiction, comic
books and Role-playing games that deal
with mythological themes.
In the comic book Sláine, which is
loosely based on Celtic mythology, the
Gáe Bulg appears as one of the weapons
of the protagonist, who is loosely based
on Cúchulainn.
A variation of the Gáe Bulg and
Cúchulainn appear in an episode of the
Disney animated series Gargoyles.
Titled "The Hound of Ulster", it tells of a
young Irish man named Rory Dugan,
who learns he is the hero Cu Chullain
reincarnated after he recovers the Gae
Bolga - the Spear of Light - with help
from a gargoyle beast named Bronx.
Rory had been led astray by the Banshee
(disguised as a human woman named
Molly), but after being drawn to the
burial cairn of the legendary hero he is
reunited with the Gae Bolga, and uses it
to battle the Banshee once more. In the
series, the Gae Bolga is depicted as a
blazing shaft of light, which causes great
damage when thrown and can return to
Cu Chullain's hand afterwards.
In another instance, Gáe Bulg is
featured as the signature weapon of
Lancer in Fate/Stay Night. Lancer is
revealed to be Cu Chulain early in the
story after using Gae Bulg against Saber,
who barely survives the attack. In the
Fate/Stay Night universe Gáe Bulg is
supposed to be unavoidable as the heart
is pierced before the lance is thrust,
therefore making the attack a
predetermined kill. This is because Gáe
Bulg is able to reverse the principle of
'cause and effect' (the heart being
pierced is the cause of the lance being
thrust). Saber was only able to avoid
death due to her near-precognitive
instincts and her high luck.
In many cases the appearance of the Gáe
Bulg seems to be largely out of cultural
context, such as in video role-playing
games like Phantasy Star Online
Episodes I & II, Ragnarok Online,
Disgaea: Hour of Darkness, Fire
Emblem: Seisen no Keifu, Riviera: The
Promised Land and the Final Fantasy
series. In these games the Gáe Bulg (or
Gae Bolg) turns up as a powerful spear
or javelin - a desirable weapon which
players seek to wield in fantasy battles.
However, some role-playing games do
reference the actual legend. For
example, in the Playstation 2 game, Shin
23
Megami Tensei Persona 3 FES, the main
character can procure Cú Cúchulainn as
a Persona and can then proceed to fuse
Cú Cúchulainn with a compatible
weapon to create the Gáe Bulg for the
main character's use.
Similar examples outside of video RPGs
include the Negima Manga, in which
one of Negi's more powerful spells is
invoked by chanting (in Latin)
"Scathach, reigning in darkness, yield to
my hand the thirty-barbed demon
spear." This creates a missile which he
hurls, doing great damage to his
opponent. Gáe Bulg is also featured in
The Last Remnant as an Athlum
weapon resembling a large cannon, able
to shoot a huge amount of energy that
scorches the earth in its wake over long
distances. Finally, Macgregor from the
webcomic werewolf western High
Moon has the words Gáe Bolga
inscribed into the hilts of his pistols. In
Enchanted Arms Toya, when you have
to face him near the end of the game,
uses a spear-based counter attack called
Gae Bolg.
Patrick McGinley's 1986 novel The
Trick of the Ga Bolga alludes to the Gáe
Bulg by a different spelling, which is also
used in the title.
The spear has appeared in Onimusha 4
as Gae Bolga,which is a level 50 Dark
Realm item for Tenkai Nankobo.
Inspired by Legends of the Celts by Frank
Delaney. Info gleaned from Wikipedia and the
BBC sites.
Ian YT White - Dec ’09
 Tree Huggers Rule!
Plants have always been such a part of humans’
lives that they have became parts of their beliefs,
superstitions, fears, and myths as well. Presented
here is a little bit on them and the way they might
be used in your game.
Trees of Ancient Religious History
Trees were probably some of the first plants to be
worshiped by man. They’re large, grand, and
seemingly eternal. They appear to die every winter
and resurrect themselves in the spring—a miracle
every year. They bore fruit and supplied many of
the necessities of early life. Truly the tree was an
ideal representation of life itself and worshipped as
such.
It is believed the Tree of Life was invented in
ancient Chaldea and one of the oldest sacred tree
symbols is the Assyrian Tree of Life. These
symbols spread throughout the world and the Tree
of Life was taken up by nearly all beliefs and
religions at one time or another. They ranged from
the oak and ash of the Teutons, Norsemen, Celts,
and Druids to the palm and cedars of the Assyrians,
Hebrews, and Christians, the sycamore of the
Egyptians, and the Cassia and Bo of the Far East.
The Tree of Life even exists in many Mesoamerican
cultures; the Tule Tree of the Aztecs is today
considered one of the single largest biomasses on
the planet
The Tree of Might/Life (Christianity)
The Tree of Might was a tree in the Garden of Eden
whose fruits provided immortality to those who ate
of it. Not to be confused with…
The Tree of Knowledge (of Good and
Evil) (Christianity)
The Tree of Knowledge existed in the same garden
as the Christian Tree of Life. This is the one the
Serpent tricked Adam and Eve into eating from and
got them kicked out of paradise.
24
The Tree of Life for the Christians might be a cedar
(the species name of cedar, arbor vitae, means
“tree of life”) and, since cedars are toxic, would
probably cause a lot of pain and agony before
granting eternal life.
The Tree of Knowledge would more likely be a
date, fig, or pomegranate-type tree and, for a
human whose ancestors already granted them that
knowledge, this tree may either grant nothing but
tasty fruit, or now grant knowledge as decided by
the GM.
Plot ideas: characters might have a problem that
cannot be overcome however a visit to the sacred
Plant or Tree of Knowledge of an active religion
could grant the specific important information they
need (along with a nice stat bonus) assumedly it
would be well defended and may also carry some
serious curse style repercussions. Or perhaps the
Tree is a barren and dying one from a fallen and
forgotten people the single fruit remaining might
give the entire religion & history of the people their
rise and their destruction all in one ear-bleeding
instant.
The Tree of Life would have obvious reasons for
being quest worthy, perhaps characters are trying
to save a dying friend, or are employed by an aging
king seeking to cheat death. Whatever the case
Immortality can easily be turned into a curse,
perhaps it turns consumers into undead. Or the
second they become immortal, the characters are
immediately cast out and sent to a new realm…
anyway myth and fiction are full of stories about
immortality gone wrong.
Yggdrasill (Nordic)
The Norse have the World Tree, an evergreen ash
tree that overshadows the whole universe. The
roots are in Hel, the subterranean source of matter.
The trunk splits into three as it grows upward. The
middle trunk runs up through Midgard—the Earth—
and supports it. This mid-trunk erupts out of the top

of the mountain Asgard, where the gods assemble
at the base of Valhalla. This heaven can only be
reached via Bifrost, the bridge of the rainbow. The
mid-trunk spreads its branches over the entire sky.
The second trunk of the Yggdrasill springs up in
Muspellsheim, the warm south where the three
Norns dwell and the gods sit in judgment. The third
trunk rises in Nifleheim, the cold north where all the
knowledge of mankind flows from the fountain of
the frost giant, Mimir, the personification of wisdom.
The ash tree itself is considered the Tree of Life
because the first Norseman, Ask, sprang from an
ash tree.
Plot ideas: Using the tree to get from one region to
another in Norse mythology would be entertaining
at the least. There is a great serpent Nidhog coiled
around the tree base trying to gnaw through the
roots of Yggdrasill that can be defeated (for a time)
by the brave souls. A trip to Muspellsheim or
Nifleheim could be represented by traveling a
staircase inside either of the two side trunks.
25
Finding a hidden pathway through
Midgard into Asgard and above would
bring the characters into Valhalla and
beyond.
The ash itself is a blessed tree usable
in both wands and staffs for any Nordic
character. Considered a tree of life in
itself, the staff or wand of this tree may
have resurrection or creation/animation
magic, especially if taken from
Yggdrasill itself.
The Rod of Aaron (Judaic)
Aaron was the first high priest of the
Hebrews and his rod was supposedly
an amazing piece of work. By the
Middle Ages, the “professional”
sorcerors all used a staff as the symbol
of the magician’s efficacy.
Plot ideas: Aaron’s rod is certainly a
worthy find in any era of the world’s
history. Even GMs of modern-day
settings could reveal this treasure’s
location for characters to hunt for, or have the “bad
guys” locate and prepare to use to do evil that must
be stopped. Like the Ark and the Grail, the Rod of
Aaron could be a quest object, complete with maps,
booby traps, and high-risk monsters. The Rod’s
powers would most likely include, turning into a
poisonous hungry serpent, creating springs of water
when struck, cracking open the ground, and all
sorts of other fun stuff. The rod itself is mostly likely
of cedar or perhaps even acacia, as seen below.
Austras Koks (Latvian)
Also called the Tree of the East or Tree of the
Dawn, it was a tree that grew from the start of
Saules’ (the sun’s) daily journey across the sky.
Believed to be a birch or oak, Austras Koks has
silver leaves, copper roots, and gold branches, and
is located on the shores of the Daugava River
(Kurzeme), Vidzeme, or Latgale.
Plot ideas: This is a treasure tree, one that many
less-savory souls would hack apart to resell its gold
branches and silver trees. However, once dead, this
tree may mess up the sun’s journey, which would
certainly put a damper on all living things. One way
to start this adventure is for the characters to
awaken one morning to perpetual night. Turns out
that (fill in the blank with a known enemy of the
characters) stole the tree, roots and all, and is
hiding it in a dark cave or somewhere. This allows
the night creatures to run rampant across the land.
The characters learn of this through a spirit or god
and are told to go rescue the tree and bring it back.
They must fight through the dark and those who
would keep it dark, to save mankind.
The Tule Tree (Aztec)
This Montezuma Cypress is a very large tree
located on what are now church grounds near
Oaxaca, Mexico. The tree is almost as wide around
as it is tall and somewhere between 1200 and 3000
years old. Local legends state it was planted about
1400 years ago by Pechocha, a priest of Ehecatl,
the Aztec Storm-god. The tree is considered a tree
of life because of all the animals that can be seen in
its twisted trunk.
Plot ideas: More modern adventures could have
this tree be a powerful nexus point for any amount
of power. Although the tree itself is not a tree of
legend, it still has an association with a god
(Ehecatl) and the potential for bringing that god’s
attention back to the world. The adventurers in any
era or setting could find a great tree that tricks the
mind: the more you look for the animals in the
gnarled trunk the more they come to life and must
be battled.
Acacia (Judaic)
The wood is considered sacred to the Hebrews and
cannot be used for secular purposes. They carried
the wood with them during the Exodus from Egypt
through the desert, and later built their Tabernacle
and Ark of the Covenant from this wood to atone for
their crimes committed at Shittin. According to the
legends of the Near East, when Christ was crowned
with thorns, his Roman executioners used the
thorny twigs of the acacia to mock the Hebrews.
26
Plot ideas: Sometimes it’s just good to know what
plants are sacred to another people so as to not
offend them, especially since many acacia species,
from Australia to South America to Asia, are used in
a wealth of ways, including as a culinary item,
tanning agent, perfume, and medicine. Any plant
from any world could be used like the acacia, where
a plant commonly used in the character’s homeland
for building outhouses or something is strictly
forbidden for secular purposes by a newly met
people. Also, for characters on a treasure hunt for
any of the ancient world’s treasures like the Ark, it
makes for a far more interesting game for the GM to
know that the object is flammable!
Bo (Buddhist)
The Papal or Bo tree is sacred to Buddha and it is
believed that it was under a Bo tree that Buddha sat
for seven weeks on a couch of grass facing east
until he attained the perfect knowledge and
enlightenment of nirvana. Bo trees are very long-
lived and even today a Bo tree grows in every
village near the temples, surrounded by a mud
platform for meditation and village meetings. The
Hindus and Jainists also find this tree sacred,
calling it the Plaksa tree, and they believe the
Plaksa is the source for the Sarasvati River.
The Bodhi Tree is a descendant of the original tree
that Buddha attained enlightenment under (Bodhi
means “enlightened,” Buddha means “awakened”).
This tree is located at the Mahabodhi Temple at
Bodh Gaya in Bihar. Another specimen propagated
from the original Bodhi Tree was plant in Sri Lanka
in 280 BC and is called Sri Maha Bodhi. It was
brought to Sri Lanka by the daughter of Emperor
Asoka who also founded an order of Buddhist nuns.
Plot ideas: Bo trees are usually propagated from
cuttings of the “original” Bo tree that Buddha once
sat under. A nice game plot would be a theft of
some of the cuttings or even just a threat to either
of the two ancient trees currently in India. Or the
trees have picked up a deadly disease in nearly any
era, and only the characters can go find a cure.
Maybe a villain passes the disease to the Sri Maha
Bodhi on purpose and says he’s the only one with a
cure, holding it for a large country-sized ransom.
Ancient living specimens are priceless to those who
care about them and this can lead to the characters’
involvement in complex mysteries, political intrigue,
or hardcore warfare.
Cassia (Chinese)
Cassia is the sacred Tree of Life for China—the
Celestial World Tree that has been growing since
time immemorial to an incredible height in Paradise,
a garden located up in the Tibetan Mountains at the
source of the Hwang-ho (Yellow River). Whoever
enters Paradise and eats the fruit of this tree will
supposedly be immortal and happy.
Plot ideas: Yet another garden, but this one brings
peace and happiness to those who visit. As long as
the characters don’t eat from the tree, they’d be
fine, but this tree could provide the type of
immortality where one forgets the present and is so
happy while there, they do not leave. Hundreds of
years could pass before the adventurers realize it,
allowing GMs to have a quest that moves the
characters through time. The journey there would
be fraught with snow, danger, altitude sickness, and
yeti... making this a fine adventurer for both GM and
players alike.
The Cedar (Many)
The Cedar of Lebanon is an evergreen tree grown
exclusively on the Mountain of Lebanon, although it
also grows elsewhere. The twelve oldest and
largest are revered by every monotheistic religion.
The Hebrews see them as the twelve friends of
Solomon, because the Temple of Solomon in
ancient Jerusalem was built from cedar-wood. The
Christians worship them as the twelve Apostles and
the Muslims as Saints. People go on pilgrimages to
this area every year during the Feast of
Transfiguration.
The Egyptians used its resin to mummify their dead
and thus called it the “tree of death” and cedar
sawdust was found in the tombs of the Pharaohs as
well. Many tribes had the tradition of burning the
cedar coming from Lebanon with their offerings and
in their ceremonies. Hebrew priests however, were
ordered by Moses to use the peel of the Lebanese
27
Cedar in circumcision and treatment of leprosy.
According to the Talmud, Jews used to burn
Lebanese Cedar wood on the mountain of olives to
announce the beginning of the New Year.
The Cedars of Lebanon have been mentioned since
early written history. The earliest reference is the
Epic of Gilgamesh, which dates back at least four
thousand years. In the story, is the line: “Who could
dare enter. Khimbaba’s below is storm wind. His
mouth is fire and his snort is death! Enlil has placed
him there to the terror of men, for warding the
cedars. And whoever enters the forest is suddenly
faint.”
The Phoenicians built their trade ship and military
fleets from Cedar wood as well as the roofs of their
temples, houses and doorsills. Kings of neighboring
and distant countries asked for this wood to build
their religious and civil constructs; the most famous
of which are the temple of Jerusalem and David's
and Solomon's Palaces. It was also used in the
temples and furniture works of the Assyrians and
Babylonians. Greeks, Latinos and Romans had
their share of Cedar wood which they praise and
have pride in. Cedar cutting prevailed under various
administrations, up through the time of the
Ottomans. They finished off most of the remaining
forests by using cedar wood as fuel for railway
engines. They generally bypassed more easily
obtainable oak wood, since cedar (because of its oil
content) burned much better. The presently
remaining cedar groves were spared mainly
because their regions were relatively difficult to
reach.
As of today, there are only 12 stands of cedar trees
left in Lebanon and these stands are currently being
attacked by nature itself, as disease, storms and
cold destroy what is left.
Plot ideas: Three groups worshipping the same 12
trees... any outside group could cause a lot of
trouble among the three branches of god with a
single axe in modern adventures. In other settings,
three tribes could battle over these symbols of their
religions, and the characters are sent by an outside
source or one of the tribes to stop the madness or
help protect the tribes. Perhaps the monster
Khimbaba resurrects at the first sign of threat to this
forest and now must be battled. A forest like this
could be seen in any epic adventure. In more
modern day adventures, the trees of Lebanon were
once thought to be a significant symbol of the world
itself: destroy the trees, destroy civilization.
Whether an elder god is the actual source of
destruction, or the destruction of the Lebanon
heralds the coming of an elder god or two, these
trees might have to be saved with modern day
magic.
The Date Palm (Many)
house out of palm, and throughout the Saharan
desert, Bedouin tribes and wanderers carelessly
dropped the pits of their dried dates at the oases
they came to, and every oasis became a beautiful
garden of date palms.
Plot ideas: As a way for the characters to try to
attain eternity from a ancient god to using palms in
a Kabbalistic ritual to seal a Gate before the big bad
monster comes through, the date palm is an
accessible desert plant for all eras. As a symbol of
so many religions, it should have an effect on nearly
any creature of evil.

Among the Egyptians it was the symbolic Tree of The Oak (Many)
the Year, because it produced a new branch every
month. The palm represented long life to the Many ancient tribes believed it was the first tree
Egyptians and was sacred to Hu, the androgynous created and that man sprang from it. Hebrews
god of eternity. The Judaic religion used the Date believe Abraham received the Angel of Jehovah
Palm to symbolize peace and plenty and it was one under its branches. The Greeks dedicated it to Zeus
of the Four Species of Sukkot. The Palm may also because the oracle in Dodona was located in a
symbolize the Tree of Life in Kabbalah. Ancient forest of oak, and the Romans saw the tree as
Mesopotamians believed the goddess Inanna was Jupiter’s. It was the Celestial Tree of the druids (the
the one who created dates. Assyrian mythology Gaelic name of the oak was Duir and Druids may
shows the palm mean “men of the oak”) and it and its satellite, the
tree as the way
Ishtar connected
Heaven (the crown
of the tree) to the
Earth, (the trunk). It
was the sacred
Emblem of Judea
after the Exodus. In
53 BC, Roman
legions took the
palm leaf emblem
as a symbol of their
victory over Judea
and their plunder of
Jerusalem. In 29
AD, Christians took
the palm leaf of
their symbol of
triumph of Christ
coming to
Jerusalem.
Muhammad is said
to have built his

28
mistletoe, were always included in rituals. The Irish
Gaels saw the oak as the sacred tree of Dagda, the
Good God and Creator. They also believed the oak
to be the tree of doors; a Gateway into other
realms. To the Nordic tribes the oak was a symbol
of Thor and the acorn was a symbol of immortality
and sustained them before grains were cultivated.
Most gods that the oak is attributed to—Zeus,
Jupiter, Thor, Dagda, and Perun, were also gods of
lightning and these mighty trees are more prone to
lightning strikes than any other.
The Greek historian, Herodotus, reported that the
sacred oak grove at Dodona had the greatest
reputation for the gifts of prophecy. Situated at the
foot of Mt. Tomarus, Dodona was the oldest and
most hallowed sanctuary in Greece. An ancient
legend tells of two black doves that flew from the
Egyptian city of Thebes, one flew to the Libyan
Ammon and the other flew to Dodona. Each
alighted on an oak tree and so began the oracular
oak cults dedicated to the Gods and Goddesses.
The cult at Dodona was dedicated to the goddess
Dione (Diana) but was later seized by Zeus who
claimed it for his own, though he retained the
services of her priestesses to read his oracles. This
they did listening to the cooing of black doves, the
rustle of the oaks leaves in the wind, or the clanging
of vessels hung in the trees branches to produce
sound. They claimed that within the sounds could
be heard the voice of Zeus.
Mjolnir, the magical hammer of Thor, was reputedly
made by dwarves from the wood of a sacred oak
tree, not only represented the destructive power of
the storms Thor created (the fires from heaven), but
its image was used as a fertility symbol in
marriages, funerals, and for accepting newborn
children into the community. Back in England, the
spirit of “Herne the Hunter” is believed to inhabit an
ancient oak tree. He was the oak-god of southern
Britain (often depicted wearing antler-horns) who
leads the legendary Wild Hunts. His spirit is said to
haunt Windsor Forest.
Plot ideas: In European play, finding “the” ancient
oak could lead to a Gateway to other settings.
Maybe Herne the Hunter didn’t live in the oak, per
se; it was just the door to the god-realms. This type
29
of adventure could take place in any era including
modern. Staffs and wands of oak are usable for
storms/destructive magic, or otherwise could be
useful in spells of strength. The oak trees are useful
for receiving prophecies and a character in tune
with this power could use one of the many sacred
groves to find an answer from the gods (i.e. the
GM). A second magical hammer could be
constructed if Mjolnir is missing, and a group who is
constructing this hammer is probably bent on
destruction more than anything else, thus must be
stopped.
Other Trees of Power
World Tree (Mesoamerican)
According to the pre-Columbian cultures of
Mesoamerica, world trees embody the four cardinal
directions, which in turn represent the central world
tree that connected the planes of the underworld
and the sky with Earth. The Mayans believed the
World tree was a form of ceiba tree. The
Mesoamericans most likely planted trees at each of
the four directions. In Mesoamerican art, the world
tree is shown with birds in it branches and the roots
extending into earth or water, although sometimes it
rests on the back of a water-monster.
The Persea Tree
Also called the Bito, the Persea Tree was native to
the Near East and Africa. This is a wild laurel tree
found in the dry regions of Persia and Egypt.
Sacred to the ancient Egyptians and revered as a
symbol of everlasting fame, Thoth, the God-scribe,
and Safekh, Goddess of learning, inscribed the
names and deeds of kings, heroes, and high
priests, thus securing eternal life for their names. It
is also suspected the ished tree was a Persea tree
and the ishid had a particular solar meaning. It too
was associated with the rising sun and it was
protected from Apep by the great cat of Heliopolis.
This cat was one of the forms of Re. A sacred ished
was grown in Heliopolis as early as the Old
Kingdom. Later, an ished was grown in Memphis
and Edfu.
Sandalwood
This is a parasitic tree native to south
India and the Malay Archipelago. It
sends out roots to attach to other trees
and steals their nutrients. When the
sandalwood dies, its trunk attracts termites
that destroy all but the oily, aromatic
heartwood of the trunk. This sacred wood is
venerated by Hindus, Buddhists, and others,
and used in religious rituals, embalming,
funeral pyres, and the construction of
temples in India, Burma, and China.
In Indian mythology, the God
Ganesha was created by Parvati
from sandalwood paste that She had
rubbed over her body before a bath.
The paste is smeared on the
foreheads of devotees of Vishnu and
Shiva. It is particularly placed as a
dot or tilak in the forehead between
the eyebrows where Hindus believe
power resides and can be awakened.
The sandalwood dot is meant to cool and protect water were placed at their roots to secure fertility
this spot. Sandalwood was introduced in the 11th and abundance.
century as one of the most precious aromatics of
the Far East.
The Fig
Among the ancient Hebrews, the fig was a symbol
The Sycamore of peace and abundance. It was the sacred tree of
Native to Asia Minor and Egypt, it was revered in the early Christians because Jesus desired figs on
ancient Egypt as the Tree of Hathor, goddess of the way to Bethany. The Moslems called the fig the
love, and Nut, goddess of the Underworld, who Tree of Heaven and thought it to be the most
provided the souls of the dead with drink and intelligent plant. Mohammed swore by it. The
nourishment. Two of them, called the "sycamores of natives of Central Africa believed their ancestors
turquoise" stood at the eastern gate of heaven from lived in fig trees. The Bo tree is a member of the fig
which the sun emerged each morning. These family, also known as the Sacred Fig. In Greek
sycamores were especially associated with the mythology, the Titan Sykeus was being pursued by
goddesses Nut, Hathor and Isis, each of whom Zeus and Ge (Gaia) hid him and transformed him
were called "Lady of the Sycamore". Nut and into a fig tree. The Charybdis Fig Tree was seen in
Hathor were often shown to reach out from the tree The Odyssey—a massive fig tree on the top of the
to offer the deceased food and water. Sometimes cliff on the opposite side of the Straight of Messina
the tree was anthropomorphized, having arms itself looking outwards to the Scylla, its long branches
which offer the sustenance to the dead. In the drooping down over the rotating void of the
example shown at right, the deceased is suckled by whirlpool called Charybdis. Odysseus grabs the
such a tree. Every sycamore was an altar— branches of the fig tree to save himself from the
offerings of fruit, grain, vegetables, and flowers, and whirlpool. Romulus and Remus were suckled by the
she-wolf under a fig tree and it was considered

30
sacred in Pliny’s time. Figs were only available to
the wealthy for a long period of history.
The Three Blessed Fruits
The Chinese saw these three fruit trees as the
Three Greatest Blessings, called Fu-Shou-San-Tuo.
The Fragrant Hand of Buddha (the critus) was the
symbol of happiness, the Peach a symbol of
longevity, and the Pomegranate (not native to
China) was the symbol of fecundity and hopeful
futures.
would take like another 10 pages) but I’m sure you’ll
agree trees are clearly deeply entwined into our real
human myth and religion. They became emblems,
badges, symbols, tokens, and decorations that
have lasted throughout the ages. The religious,
legendary, and symbolic meanings attached to so
many plants were handed down from generation to
generation to enthral both adult and child alike.
So don’t just save them for the elves - now it’s time
to use them to kick your characters’ butts whatever
their race or creed!

The Myrtle
The myrtle is an evergreen that was once sacred to
all peoples around the Eastern Mediterranean.
Hebrews covered their Tabernacles with myrtle
boughs. Egyptians consecrated it to Hathor and
Greece and Rome made it sacred to Aphrodite and
Venus.

The Willow
The willow tree was also sacred in Egypt as it was
the tree that was said to have grown up around
Osiris' leaden coffin in Byblos. Several towns had
tombs that were said to hold part of Osiris'
dismembered body. All of these had willow groves
associated with them. It was said that the god's ba
rested within these groves.

The Cryptomeria
In Japan, trees such as the cryptomeria are
venerated at Shinto shrines. Especially sacred is
the sakaki, a branch from which stuck upright in the
ground is represented by the shin-no-mihashira, or
sacred central post, over and around which the
wooden Shrines at Ise are built. The shin-no-
mihashira is both the sakaki branch and the pillar
confirmed in the nethermost ground, like the
heaven-tree in many Japanese legends.

Can’t see the wood for the Trees!

Now I haven’t touched at all upon the utterly myriad
folktale myths surrounding trees, or the magical
traditioins like the Kabbalistic tree of life (‘cause it

31
The Pitch
Noble King Arthur looked up at the setting
sun outside of fair Camelot. A hard day of
work behind him, he sat and proudly
surveyed the land he called home, happy in
the knowledge that its people felt safer for
being in his very presence. A legend in his
own lifetime, he could want for nothing in
the world and this pleased him greatly.
Suddenly, a noise, just on the edge of
hearing. A high pitched whine with a
slight metallic edge to it. Something
completely foreign with a hint of ill intent.
This did not bode well. Turning slowly,
he tried to pick out anything wrong in his
environment. The same trees, the same
birds, rolling hills, bushes and, of course,
Camelo-
The bushes were wrong. Two tiny green
lights were hidden within and would
hardly have been visible at all were it not
for the poor light. A demon of some sort?
“I suggest you show yourself, friend, lest I
find myself forced to leave your hiding
place in twain. Face me as a man, not a
snivelling coward in the shadows”
The bushes stirred. Slowly a figure
emerged, dressed all in brown and green
with eyes as bright as fresh cut emeralds,
lit from within by some unearthly source.
Not a creature of nature, quite obviously.
It held in one hand a bulky device that
was, without a doubt, a weapon.
“What manner of… creature are you?
What land must you call home?” Arthur
said, almost to himself.
“Sergeant Carter, US Marine Corps! Our
intel has shown this fortification to be of
great strategic and historical significance
and we intend to claim it in the name of
Uncle Sam.” The creature barked at him.
Marine Corps? Obviously some cult or
other.
32
“So this Sam, what is he? Do you worship
him or does he merely lead you?”
“He is the face of everything our great
nation holds dear! Liberty! Justice!
Peace! Education…”
Whatever this creature was talking about,
it certainly held its beliefs firmly to its
blackened heart. Arthur slipped back into
Camelot, taking advantage of the
convenient distraction, and rallied the grail
knights for what would surely be their
greatest challenge yet. More green lights
could be seen on the horizon. It would be
a long night.
---
“Nah, nah, that’s never gonna work, is it?”
A fan spins slowly in a dimly lit
apartment. Two men sit and desperately
fight against the dreaded forces of
sobriety.
“See, this is why nobody ever buys our
scripts, right? Right? S’right. They never
even give us a look because you keep
trying to do these bloody stupid mash up
flicks.”
“It worked for Alien Vs. Predator, Freddy
Vs. Jason, the Jetsons meet the
Flintstones…”
“Maybe it did. But come one, Arthur and
his knights fighting marines for control of
the holy grail? What is that, seriously?”
“Well marines fight everything, don’t
they?!”
“You don’t even have any justification for
how they went backwards in time in the
first place. And don’t say ‘Oh, the grail
brought them’ because I can see you
thinking it. Just… just pass the tequila,
alright? We still need to make this
month’s rent.”
Hardest. Word-search. Ever.

α φ χ δ α δ ς ζ κ λ ξ ψ ω ω ρ
π γ β η β π η φ α ι σ τ ο ς τ
ο υ σ µ ς ρ µ β α α ε α η θ µ
λ χ ω η ι ν ρ ν η ε δ γ ς σ α
λ γ δ τ η ζ ε υ ς ζ γ ρ ι ρ λ
ω α β η δ ε ψ µ χ τ υ ε τ γ ι
ν β α ρ ρ π η φ α θ λ ε ξ ω ο
ο ξ µ ρ ε ο ι η ζ γ µ φ σ π ς
ι ο ε β η ρ π χ ρ ι ψ ι ω ο γ
β γ ι γ α ς δ ε ς α π γ ο σ β
θ ε υ τ ρ π λ κ γ θ α ξ β ε ξ
ψ ω α φ ρ ο δ ι τ η σ ς α ι π
η ε β γ ς ς τ χ λ ν α ο δ δ ρ
ι δ ι ο ν υ σ ο ς η κ µ ν ω ο
µ λ γ β α ρ π ι θ η φ τ η ν χ

Giant γιγας Poseidon ποσειδων

Nymph νυμφη Aphrodite αφροδιτη

Sphinx εφιγξ Hermes ερμης

Zeus ζευς Hephaistos ηφαιστος

Hera ηρα Ares αρης

Athena αθηνη Dionysus διονυσος

Apollo απολλων Demeter δημητηρ

Artemis αρτεμις

33