"And what do you do?"
How many times have you been asked this question? How many timeshave you asked it?My guess is more than once or twice.Whenanswering this question, most people respond with their job title or their job function:I'm a banker, I'm the CEO, I'm a teacher. Or they launch into their 'elevator pitch'. We defineourselves often by the major role we play in life. And you know that you are much more thanyour job: I'm a CEO, husband, lover, father, child, brother, skier, scuba diver, teacher,sleeper, trainer,coach, friend, driver, passenger, dog-walker, saxophonist, cook, customer,eater, cleaner, golfer, author, writer, musician, listener, talker, leader, manager, accountant,salesman, communicator, website builder... and that's just the more positive ones today. AmI good at all these? Not all, and not always. There are days when my golf, for example, isfluent and near perfect, today was not one of those days. Today, I was a "shank it in thewater, find every bunker, slice it out of bounds" golfer.
Normal role development
Everyone plays a number of roles in theirrelationships with others. The essence ofpersonality, according toRaimundo, is thesum of the roles I play.As a leader, the way we relate to other peopleis through a role. The role we play must becomplimentary, and must include a commonlink. My effectiveness as a leader isdependent on the effectiveness of therelationship which is the link between theroles. It is the "power" between me and another.When we have two complementary roles relating toeach other, a link is formed and is the channel ofinteraction; enabling the role to mature and growstronger.Thestrength of the link depends on the roles we playand each time we relate through the link, the role we are playing is developed. Some of theroles we play are poorly developed, some are well-developed. The good news is that we candevelop poorly developedroles and so improve the effectiveness of our relating.Our most developed roles are usually so because we have experience with a moreestablished and complementary role. A good Father-Son relationship develops a string sonrole and, in recognition of the strong role model, transfers to a strong father role later in lifeas well as strengthening the role of the father.