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Questionable Content - Strip-by-Strip

Questionable Content - Strip-by-Strip

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Published by Joseph Houk
Strip-by-Strip description of every Questionable Content webcomic, from 2003 to present. (Questionable Content by Jeph Jacques, http://www.questionablecontent.net). Updating once a month, possibly more if time allows.
Strip-by-Strip description of every Questionable Content webcomic, from 2003 to present. (Questionable Content by Jeph Jacques, http://www.questionablecontent.net). Updating once a month, possibly more if time allows.

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Published by: Joseph Houk on Jun 02, 2010
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06/25/2013

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Questionable Content
Strip-By-Strip 
 As of 14 December 2012
1 Marten: "Hey, Pintsize, I'm Home." (Marten Reed, Pintsize theAnthroPC) ["TEH" T-shirt][Re-done for the book 
QuestionableContent Volume 1
]2 What does Pintsize do when Marten's not home? (Calculate primenumbers, run SETI screensaver) "Three-hour conversations aboutthe latest Intel chipsets are enough to make me spew my RAM allover the place." [Re-done for
QCV1
]
 
3 Steve and Marten at the bar (Faye enters in the background)[Re-done for
QCV1
]4 Faye introduces herself ("If I sense any lusting, I will stab you andpoop in the wound.")5 Faye meets Pintsize: "OH MY GOD CUTEST THING EVAR!"6 Faye: "I'm still right here, you know." (Gah, Dammit!) [Re-donefor
QCV1
]7 Faye: "I don't NEED to fake it to look good" (meanwhile Steve ispwning Pintsize on the Playstation... because Pintsize has nothumbs.)8 Pintsize: "Faye is nice. Is she going to be your girlfriend now?"9 Sara the Barista [first scene at Coffee of Doom]10 Faye the Barista (!) [The first "specials of the day" we see on theboard:
 Rockin' Latte, Black Metal Mocha, Emospresso, Electroclash Frappe
; "
Tip Us or We Will Kill Again
"]11 Pintsize: "Wait, I'm supposed to be HELPING?" (compare to1292)12 Phone call from Mom.13 Faye's first punch14 The Irony Café (advertise vegan food, serve steaks, lobsters &chicken)15 Unhappy Vegan, Irony Café Server, and a fresh lobster...16 Concert-Goers:
 
One-man Mosh Pit
 
Chatterboxes
 
Fashion Whore
 
Frontline Soldier17 Faye's poop obsession18 "No poo-poo on the pee-pee"19 Roll of quarters. Laundry Night! Heh. (busted)20 Pintsize's Cake Mix fetish21 Head jokes give Marten a head-ache.22
Faye burns down her apartment (with a toaster?) …and moves in
with Marten23 Faye: "Sending (my mother) into little fits of hysteria is my way of saying "I love you'."24 The Very First QC GUEST STRIP (James Wheeler): Marten andSteve debate KOTR25 New haircut, and sleeping arrangements... and Pintsize is earningFaye's wrath26 Indie Cred and buying clothes at the Gap27 Beating up Emo Bands28 Faye discovers who Sara's "crush" is (oops, it's Marten!)29 Sara: "That means I still have to work up the guts to ask him out."30 Sara has an epiphany (and it's not Marten)31 Comparing a CD seal to a bra?32 Marten (to Steve): "You're thinking of asking her out, aren't you."33 Pintsize delivers the info on the QT.34 Look on the bright side: you were spared something, perhaps?35 The Alphabet Trick, an Apple Catalog, and a can of WD-40?36 Painkillers and Faye's defenestration.37 Jimbo The Redneck!38 Get this party STARTED!39 Halloween 2003 [Faye: Shelley from
Scary Go Round 
; Marten:Gabe from
Penny Arcade
; Steve: Sam from
Sam & Fuzzy
; Sara:Jade from
PvP
; and Red Robot from
 Diesel Sweeties
]40 "I'll fall down otherwise." (Faye leans on Marten)41 Faye falls down on the second couch and notices Marten's behind42 Drink will make a girl say ridiculous things.43 iPods vs. AnthroPC's (Pintsize LOVES "Crazy Train")44 Pintsize doesn't do well with babies (tried to find the "off switch")45 Apple Store Guy46 Hot Topic Goth Chick gets Faye's wrath [
 Jeph has intimated that this is Raven's first appearance
]47 Two coffee spit-takes on two bodily function jokes!48 Thanksgiving with your family? No, they drive me insane. Theydrive me crazy.49 Underwear Ninja!50 Bra Pirate!51 Final Fantasy's secret [Re-done for
QCV1
]52 Marten buys a guitar53 Faye shows she knows her axes (learned from a guy in HS whowas trying to get her nekkid
 – 
obviously not Kenny Wallace)54 You're being sarcastic again, aren't you?55 Marten's past (left behind friends and family to chase a girl, endedup "here")56 Deerhoof and Pandas!57 Faye makes a cake
 – 
and Pintsize lusts after it58 "It was SO worth the massive motherboard damage."59 Pintsize "backed up"60
Pintsize's new chassis…
 61
…which has a "LASER" (!)
 62 "I don't want to have to register you with the Department of Defense..."63 "I would NEVER... okay, so that was a total lie."64 2nd Law of Sexual Dynamics ("If you think a girl is attracted toyou, you are wrong.") [Re-done for
QCV1
]65 Sara tags along (and meets Steve)66 Sara and Steve are getting along; Marten has "liquid testicles"67 Faye breaks her glasses!68 Magical Vision Fairies guided me.69 She tests her depth perception the only way she knows how.70 Existentialism and the AnthroPC71 Nietzsche would have approved. (NIETZSCHE IS DEAD!)72 Failure, Pavement and broke-up bands73 Faye's killer death gas74 Marten: "Whenever you say something nice about me, I alwaysend up getting punched."75 We meet Dora (and Dora already starts hitting on Marten)76 Bearded Indie Boys (and Marten can't grow one)77 Faye: "Heehee, she completely has a crush on you
so bad 
."78 Dora tells Mieville about the "dashing young man" she met79 Marten: "Look, there is no way that Dora can possibly beinterested in me." Faye: "I am certain there are plenty of girls whoare attracted to you, and you just don't know it yet."(GIRLVANA!)80 Pintsize asks: Who's cuter? (That is what a 404 error feels like.)81 Faye: "I am looking forward to making coffees and sassinglascivious customers... Dora made (the DA)
cry like a little boy
."82 Dora provides us with her first Specials of the Day note: WE ARESURLY BECAUSE YOU SUCK!83 Dora: "I might (be interested), were it not for a certain gal who iseither being extremely protective of him or entertaining her ownsecret designs."84 Dora hits on Marten. "Remind me, which of you is the evil twin of the other?"85 Marten is "The Office Bitch". (It even says it on his business card.)86 Scott, Marten's boss (name per Jeph); company is InsureTech
 – 
 "We Are Better!" Company therapist is the bottle of bourbon Scottkeeps in his desk 87 Scott: "Think with your heart, not with your (other body parts)."88 Faye's ready to kick ass!89 Faye covers herself 90 Pintsize walks on the ceiling.91 Steve's coming over
 – 
and Pintsize gives Marten the least erotichickey Faye's ever seen.92 Pintsize wants to join in the boozing!93 The first reference to Midnight Hobo bourbon (Winner gets thetoilet, loser gets the sink!)94 Steve mentions he's no longer seeing Sara (something about a
cubist painting…)
 95 Charlie Brown/Football reference FTW! (Faye being Lucy in this
case…)
 96 Faye reveals she's from Georgia (which explains the Southernaccent when she's drunk)97 So what made you move up north? "It was a buncha things, likemy mom bein' all over-protective an' stuff." (ambiguous, semi-platonic statements)98 Songs about lost pancakes99 "You are as perceptive as I am drunk."100 Marten accidentally walks in on Faye changing [
 NOTE: no scar was present 
]101 Dora weighs in on this "accident"
 
102 Raven appears (still very gothy)103 Dora's getting tired of the goth scene104 Steve distracts Marten with his boxers!105 Dora gets a gift from mom (Swedish "gift store"?)106 Officially see name of the shop on the window (COFFEE OFDOOM) as Faye chases Dora through the store107 Marten lays the sass down on Faye and Dora108 Dora flashes Marten! (and we see Dora's tattoo)109 "Lake of Fire Ass!"110 Dora has to do laundry (and Marten has had too much innuendotoday)111 Indie Rock Couplet!112 CONTROL-ALT-DELETE! (doesn't seem to work forAnthroPC's)113
Faye kidnaps Dora to have fun…
 114
…and ends up locking her out of her apartment.
115 Dora meets Pintsize, and the Insult Wars begin anew116 How to behave with a girl who's more metal than you117 Sleeping arrangements118 Pillow Talk between Dora and Faye (can't hear you zzzzz snoringso hard)119 Faye snores! Dora Farts! ("I slept well.")120 Admit a flaw, or punch you?121 The LANpark (a dog-walk for AnthroPC's)122 Ellninerr (L9R) gets a see-thru torso123 Sigur Ros and AnthroPC owner chat124 A near-reveal on the part of Faye
 – 
interrupted due to a laser blast125 Robotic Annihilation Insurance126 The Theory of Hipster Relativity! (The popularity of a band isdirectly inverse to the quality of its music; ergo, the best band inthe world
does not exist 
.)127 Paying the rent or going to the mall? Mall wins!128 Faye goes to the mall129 Why Faye does not use contractions130
…unless she's drunk.
 131 Faye's scar132 Dora and Raven
 – 
again; "Tell them I overdosed on black hair dyeand died. I came back from the dead to feast on the stupidity* of the living." (Totally awesome. Can that really happen?) "You'remaking me hungry, Raven." [* - This line was changed, for someunknown reason, in QCV1]133 Dora visits Faye and Marten134 Marten the D&D nerd in high school135 GUEST STRIP (Stirling McLaughlin): Pintsize's JavaSmell136 Someone was caught staring at Martin's behind...137 ...and Marten is totally oblivious!138 Faye intends to convert Dora to Indie ways139 The Lemon Dress140 Daily Cleansing Rituals141 Dora listens to Flaming Lips142 Dora and Faye are having fun; Underwear Monopoly?143 Dora got too much sun144 "Mrs. Robinson" (Dora's 26)145 "An 8600 in a stock chassis" (kind of AnthroPC that Pintsize is);Dora the computer nerdette146 Kisses and butt grabs all around! (Not for Pintsize, though)147 Faye freaks at Dora touchi
ng her bottom… just as Special Agent
Turing drops by from the Robotics Defense Agency of the USGovernment. Turns out Pintsize is a M-31 Battlefield RobotChassis accidentally sent to the local Best Buy [Original was donein B/W; "colorized" for
QCV1
]148 Faye shows her self-defense moves149 Dora saves Pintsize by removing his laser150 "Space Owl" attacked you!151 Dora "knows" Alan Turing. They went to St. Agnes HS onSunderland Street (in NoHo); she used to beat him up and take hiscigarettes.152 Pintsize hugs
 – 
and what he goes for when he's first turned on...153 Sara's apparently still working at CoD (last mention by Dora); Firsttime Faye calls Dora "spooky-pants"; Faye the Ice CreamMercenary!154
Kentucky Bourbon Milkshake makes Faye sad… (remin
ds her of Dad)155 GUEST STRIP (Sam Logan): So much for the dramatic reveal...156 GUEST STRIP (Brian Carroll): Questionable Puppet Theater157 GUEST STRIP (Neil Gustavson): Kimberly Miller, Dora's oldGoth friend.158 GUEST STRIP (Aido, Fallen Comic): Faye made a mistake
 – 
 uploading Raffi songs onto Pintsize!159 GUEST STRIP (John A,
Scary Go Round 
): Faye and Marten gocamping160 GUEST STRIP (Julie Keene): Dora and Faye play music161 Faye's parents' sex life; Marten's parents are:
 
A professional dominatrix (mom);
 
A gay nightclub owner (dad).162
…and she even has politicians as clients!
 163 Pintsize's first CosPlay with hair!164 Amanda shows up at CoD; Faye's little lesbian sister165 How mom found out (yep, she walked in on them)166 AND she swiped mom's credit card! "Did you know that your leftear twitches when you're contemplating tremendous violence? It'skinda cute."167 Amanda meets Dora (who we discover is bisexual)168 Steve gets filled in
 – 
and Amanda is driving Faye batty169 Coffee Beans are not comfy.170 Faye consoles Amanda... and Marten is tactful ("aerodynamicallycurvaceous")171 Amanda' girlfriend turns out to be Lil' Sis from
 Diesel Sweeties
!172 "
 And I want my ##### Weezer poster back!
" And just as Amandawas about to say when Faye last had a boyfriend!173 Mom's on the phone! "She is more furious than a mother bearwhose cub was just sold on eBay, but she does not hate you."174 Sending her home, staying in the North, full body casts and payingthe electric bill.175 "Vespa into a stop sign" (is that foreshadowing?)176 AnthroPC RPG: "Trolls and Flame Wars"177 "I live to serve your self-esteem, oh radiant goddess of utmostbeauty." (Ooh! Say that again, but do it without rolling your eyesthis time.)178 Arcade Fire's drummer guy179 The Weeping Demon bar180 Jimbo the Romance Novelist!181 Faye slowly gets fall on the floor drunk while Jimbo and Martencatch up182 Faye the Drunken Haiku Princess183 Beeblebrox's Gambit and drunk-logic184 "I been meanin' to thank you" ZzzzzazzzzzzzzzzZZZZZ185 The BAM and PUKE incident. "There. Is. No. God."186 What happened last night? "Gack... can't... breathe... must...rephrase... poorly-worded... previous... sentence..."187 Faye's "Dancing Alligator Underpants"188 Dora: "...grant him unrestricted access to one of your orifices."189 Pintsize: "It is hard to get a lady to evaluate to true."190 HA! Using a contraction no less!191 Ellen the waitress and Steve's "smooth moves"192 No phone number for Steve; Schadenfreude and Hostessmetaphors.193 ...and Ellen outmaneuvers him!194 GUEST STRIP (Rikk Estoban): Skull Panda195 GUEST STRIP (Brian Carroll): Pintsize fails at uploading himself into Marten.196 GUEST STRIP (Scott Bevan/Kent Earle): Indie TravellingWilburys197 GUEST STRIP (Jason Sigala): Jimbo takes over scripting QC!198 GUEST STRIP (Yuko "Aido" Ota,
Fallen
): Pintsize mistakes amicrowave for a time machine!199 GUEST STRIP (Jim Burgess): Trolls and Flame-Wars again?200
Steve ropes Marten into a double date… with Dora?
 201 Faye: "Why is everyone staring at me?"202 Dora's comment about "Faux Incest"203 Faye cuts Marten's hair; "...Did you just use a contraction?"(Nathaniel Hawthorne costume?)204 "...so all I had to do to gain your trust was place my physicalappearance in your hands?"205 "...This is DORA we're talking about. You may not make it out of the restaurant with your pants intact."206 Faye: "That stupid toaster!"207
Spaghetti and meatballs… and severe bleeding
 208 Faye goes to the hospital (Faye WHITAKER). ER Nurse offers toget her an "intern for surrogate punching"209 Doctor and the punching intern210 Lollipops, stitches, and Pintsize COVERED IN RED? (Oh, justtomato sauce) "...I don't explode cats. It's way too difficult to coaxthem into the microwave."
 
211 GUEST STRIP (Stirling McLaughlin): Faye doesn't doAnthroPC's.212 Pintsize has a "chemical spectrometer linked to a holding tank in
his torso"… which then leaks out.
 213 Faye needs help with her... jeans?214 Why such tight clothing?215 The Double Date (and Saran Wrap Fashion
Faux Pas
)216 "Taking two different girls to the hospital two nights in a rowwouldn't look shady
at all
." [
Old apartment number was "8" 
]217 Dora's apartment (first time we see her without black clothing!)218 Ellen comments on Dora's "boyish figure" (Foot in mouth for an
hors d'ourvere?
)219 Ellen majoring in Marine Biology, minor in philosophy ("readingDerrida to Moray Eels")220 Faye gets a little testy221 Ellen doesn't like sushi222 The
guys
go to the bathroom together?223 Steve kicks Marten under the table (sign: "Get out of here so I canget my mack on, or bad things will happen.") "I don't know
how
he
got the scorpions in the mattress…"
 224
Dora: "Did Ellen seem a little…
 young
to you?" Ellen (to
Steve)"…uh, not
 
after next Tuesday…" (she's only 17)
 225 Dora invites Marten in to her "lair"226 Dora grills Marten about Faye227 Saying Faye has issues is like saying Antarctica is slightly chilly.(Mieville sneaks into the scene)228 "Doesn't being your friend give me ass-grabbing privileges?"229 "Too nice for my own good."230 Nuniverse!231 Ellen "got into college early." Steve is "Honest, sweet, intelligentand completely crass."232 Faye: "The Godless North"233 Why didn't Dora do anything?234 Cyber Cybersex (Pintsize and awesoemPC1998)235 Sorry I didn't mention about the age...236 "You're so pathetic, some girl is bound to take pity on youeventually."237 Dora: "I'm actually a platinum blonde!"238 The OMG Turkeys make their debut! (2004)239 Dora prefers being dark-haired, and it was a "just friends" date.240 "Our culture doesn't get smarter, it just finds new ways of beingretarded"241 The Mandatory Winger Reference ("
She's only seventeen/she gives
 you love like you've never seen…
")242 Ellen stops by CoD243 Shower massaging Faye244 Moray Eels and Gag reflexes245 Dora: "Helmet have been gentrified. Good Lord do I ever feel oldright now."246 Pintsize blows himself! ("These pipes are clean!") Marten: "I'm 0for 1 in practicing what I preach."247 Get people to pay to sneer at them248 Natasha appears (Ellen's roommate)
 – 
"Being filthy is WAYhardcore!"249 Ellen is six years younger (that means Steve is 24); Nat:
"…Guitarist BLED on me!"
 250
The seed of doubt…
 251 Cute pouty girl Dora!252 Marten's ex-GF Vicky shows up at COD!
 MARTEN'S BACKGROUND STORY:
253 Yes, he's from Cali ("I swear, it's like I'm telling my life story toStatler and Waldorf.")254 Happy Relationship Paranoia255 "Life-altering decisions should never be made while drunk,dummy."256 Sold his stuff for a place of his own257 Dora: "No murdering customers in the store"258 Faye gives Vicky a milk bath! [Re-done for
QCV1
]259 Faye the Milk Ninja! [Re-done for
QCV1
]260 Steve meets Natasha [Re-done for
QCV1
]261 Nat: "Hard to make out i
f his head pops off…"
 262 She's a virgin263 ConquistaPorn!264 Faye the Avenger; "A wheel of cheddar to the skull, a slab of gouda to the groin. Truly, (dairy) is the deadliest of the foodgroups."265 Indie-rock band death pool!266 Faye's Vision Quest (Was one of your parents a mole rat orsomething?)267 Pintsize catches a Virus268 AnthroPC safety diagnostics; The virus might have wiped out hismemory! [Note on the fridge:
The ham is not for you!
]269 Personality Module loaded! (Aaaand he's back to normal...)270 "I learned that it is never a good idea to download SNES ROM'soff of shady websites." (Metaphysical discussion and AnthroPC's)271 Faye goes shopping for glasses272 "I wear glasses because I think they look nice... Sometimes a cigarreally is just a cigar..."273 Velma
 – 
the sex goddess?274 She got him at "huh buh duh wha?"275 Hobocore!276 Marten majored in Music History & Critical Theory277 Faye was the Art Major, emphasis in sculpture278 Steve & Ellen haven't done "The Secret Booty-Dance" yet!279 Raven turns Indie/Emo!280
Movin', movin', movin'… (Talking to the appliances)
 281 Pintsize wants a castle!282 144 Dwight Street, Northampton (Ellen and Natasha's building)
 – 
 too
Friends
-esque?283 Steve's gotta see a girl about some food284 Hiring Raven285 Faye: "Never underestimate the diuretic powers of coffee." [
 Acustomer actually speaks!
]286 Doctor Seuss does emo287 Marten meets Raven288 Moving in ("Steady job, good references, unlikely to molest othertenants.")289 "I am the Hope diamond of hipster girls." (You mean you'recursed?)290 The "Cave of Twenty Asses"291 Faye: "Are you
sure
you're not goth anymore?"292 Marten: "...My computer has more active love life than me."(Faye's drink of choice: "Midnight Hobo", mixed in old oil drums)293 Dora: "Murder is not the answer. You always suggest that." (toMieville)294 Tolerance of a mole rat (Dora); "...Miss watching (Faye) slowlydissolve into a pool of pure ethanol?"295
 Blueberry Boat 
, Fiery Furnaces296 Fun with Steve and Ellen (Murphy's Law of Sex)297 Ellen is a bit noisy298 Dora self-medicating with alcohol. Faye: "Ignore the fact that I ama pot calling your kettle-
 butt black…"
 299 "Commiserating in you commissary"; Ridicule Hat! [LAST PAGEOF
QCVI 
]300 The furtive Secret Booty Dance (278) [FIRST PAGE OF
QCVII 
]301 "It's so nice to be treated as an adult instead of some stupidteenager." (Alcoholic porcupine)302
 Jerkcity
poster in the kitchen!303 Pintsize "gets laid"! Ellen: "The university has a couple of AnthroPC's for the library. They make fun of you if you try to getactual work done on them."304 Ellen talks about Connect Four and Octopi; Marten: "I found Jesus.Turns out he was in the kitchen this whole time."305 "You were joking?"306 Southern Doom-metal, Eye candy, Emaciated Slide Rules andFlying Indie-boys in NASA307 Faye's Scar
 – 
the explanation: Bad car accident, wrapped her cararound a tree. Dora makes first obscure reference to Sven (her"older brother" dared her to moon a dog
 – 
and it bit her in the butt)308 Outsarcasmed!309 Promise to Faye310 Duct Tape Pintsize! (Duct tape was supposed to be the "FourthLaw of Robotics")311 Menstrual Discussion plan (when you became my friend); "$15.99a month and you'll get the Digestive Issues Bulletin package!"312 Apartment manager Lorena Torres313 It's a corner apartment, lot of room and windows314 Pintsize and a Great Dane315 Apartment 25316 Incontinent kitten: Endearing, but you don't want it on top of you.317 Metal boyfriends, intelligence and the Socratic Method318 Confusion, Lust and Uncertainty Triangle; Rhombus of Rejection!Or is it non-Euclidean Geometry?319 Marten: "That's the cheat code to turn God Mode on."320 Mating plumage!

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