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noods3 7

noods3 7

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Published by Enginoods Editors

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Published by: Enginoods Editors on Apr 16, 2007
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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01/01/2013

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ENGINOODS
THE
“We ain’t affilliated with nobody”
“’You are in more dire need of a blowjob than any white man in history.’ Now THAT’s funny!”
T
HE
ENGINOODS I
NVADE
 
THE
I
NTERNET
!
http://www3.sympatico.ca/enginoods
And you thought that the internet was safe for children, Clegg and pedophiles...If anybody has a better place we can store these, please let us know! Many free hats for you!
HALF PRICE TUITION!
As you may or may not know, if your parents are faculty of the University, you get half price tuition, and it doesn’t taketenure to realize that that’s a shitload of money that could be otherwise spent on beer, blackjack, hookers, and more beer.Unfortunately, not all of us could be born to the privilege of being the children of faculty, but luckily, the Noods comes to therescue. Just fill out this handy adoption form, have a Prof sign it, and submit it to the Registrar’s office and demand your bigpile of money back.
Offical University of Waterloo Adoption Application
Will you be my (Circle One):MommyDaddyGender-Neutral Guardian (i.e. unsure)Student’s InformationName: ID: 9 (all you fucks who started after 2000 shouldn’t need the help)Permanent Address:Blood Type: Sex (Circle all that apply):MaleFemaleCompChick with DicProf Applied to for Adoption (name, Faculty):Reason for Adoption (Circle One):RevengeFinancial NeedAvoiding DeportationWitness Relocation ProgramBoredomDrunken DareLike filling out formsLoophole to marry sisterHave you ever been indicted for a criminal offence?:YesNoI can’t rememberIf so, what? If not, why not?:Have you slept with any of the following people in the past 6 months (Circle all that apply):Ryan WalkerLeanne WhitleyDavid JohnstonJim BarbySue GoodingJune LoweSujeet ChaudhuriNew Dean GuyDave CleggLevitz (either)Your MomAny inanimate objectAre you willing to perform fellatio on your new sugar daddy?Yes (spit) Yes (swallow) Hell damn yeah Well, it’s worth the money... Prof’s Signature
By signing, I certify that I legally own theabove named student, with all rights, responsibilituies,and all other free shit I have coming to me.
 Student’s Signature
By signing, I agree that I will be the above signedprof’s bitch, but will get half price tuition, andmoney is good.
 
“’Captain Hauk sucks the sweat off of a dead mans balls.’ I have no idea what that means,but it seems very negative to me.”
POEPOEPOEPOEPOETSTSTSTSTS
“Don’t tell me how the universe is altered”
PBD TOTALS
Beer Barons68 No you wont.Members In Tension64 Holy Flaming Donut Holes, Batman! They have a name!2B Software51 You, however, do not. You still suc4A Elec36 Obviously, you fucks havent figured out this whole drinking4A Comp36 thing yet. Even after we gave detailed step-by-step instructionsNoods32 last week. This can only lead to one of two conclusions:2B Mech25 a) You dont know how to fucking read and probably find the1B EnvCiv24 crude humour of another shoddy publication hilarious; or1B Mech24 b) The entire school has come down with a case of acuteDeck17 Vaginitis, i.e. Youve all become a bunch of fucking pussies.1B Geo17 QED
Cock-Ring Warehouse presents:
PPPPP
ORNORNORNORNORN
 
OFOFOFOFOF
 
THETHETHETHETHE
WWWWW
EEK EEK EEK EEK EEK 
!!!!!
THISTHISTHISTHISTHIS
 
WEEK WEEK WEEK WEEK WEEK 
-F-F-F-F-F
REEREEREEREEREE
CCCCC
OCOCOCOCOC
PPPPP
IERCINGIERCINGIERCINGIERCINGIERCING
 
WITHWITHWITHWITHWITH
 
EVERY EVERY EVERY EVERY EVERY 
$200$200$200$200$200
SPENTSPENTSPENTSPENTSPENT
 
 A  A  A  A  A TTTTT
CCCCC
OCOCOCOCOC
RRRRR
INGINGINGINGING
WWWWW
 AREHOUSE AREHOUSE AREHOUSE AREHOUSE AREHOUSE
(((((
SERVINGSERVINGSERVINGSERVINGSERVING
 
 YOUR YOUR YOUR YOUR YOUR
 
COCK COCK COCK COCK COCK 
 
RINGRINGRINGRINGRING
 
NEEDSNEEDSNEEDSNEEDSNEEDS
 
SINCESINCESINCESINCESINCE
1867)1867)1867)1867)1867)CENSOREDCENSOREDCENSOREDCENSOREDCENSORED
 
 ALL THE NOODS THA  ALL THE NOODS THA  ALL THE NOODS THA  ALL THE NOODS THA  ALL THE NOODS THA T’S TOO UNFIT TO PRINT!T’S TOO UNFIT TO PRINT!T’S TOO UNFIT TO PRINT!T’S TOO UNFIT TO PRINT!T’S TOO UNFIT TO PRINT!
“’Hey Hauk. Eat a bag of shit. You suck.’ No real gray area here sir.” I like resuing headlines.
Due to a lack of Submission to the Enginoods (i.e. NONE you apathetic mother fuckers) we thought we’d help some of you out.Because we all know that engineers cannot spel or rite.
Do It Yourself Noods Submission: (check all that apply)
Hey
Ο
Cocksuckers
Ο
Dildos
Ο
Fuckers
Ο
Gods among men
Ο
Dean Chaudhuri
Ο
Frank This
Ο
Letter
Ο
Death Threat
Ο
Anthrax
Ο
Corpse
Ο
Unibomber Special
Ο
Poison
Ο
Bag O’ Glass
Ο
HookerOTwisted Sisteris sent to you because
Ο
Of your lack of responsible Journalism
Ο
No one else will tolerate me
Ο
Led Zepplin told me to (it’s in stairway, play it backwards and see)
Ο
I’m lonely and just want to be loved… is that so wrong?
Ο
I want my Elephant
Ο
The movie was shitty (of course) and there was nothing to do at the barMy main concern with your publication is
Ο
There was not enough nudity
Ο
It does not taste great, nor is it less filling
Ο
I did not receive my free hat.
Ο
There are not enough/too many Ryan “Medicine Woman” Walker jokes
Ο
There are not enough/too many “Dave” Clegg jokesTo appease me, I suggest that
Ο
You DIE! DIE VERMIN DIE!
Ο
You buy me off with beer,
Ο
I commit ritual suicide. (Black Capsule)
Ο
You feed my cat for the week I’m away,
Ο
We all sit back and smoke a fatty,
Ο
You suck my Johnson Solid (number 33).In closing
Ο
Do not I repeat, DO NOT ignore this letter or be prepared to suffer the consequences.
Ο
I’d watch my back if I were you.
Ο
Join the Dark Side Luke.
Ο
I’m crushing your head, I’m crushing your head.
Ο
I like pancakes.
Ο
I have no real point to this letter, I just wrote it to pass some time and get published. Hi Mom! I’m in print!
Ο
Sincerely,
Ο
Insincerely,
Ο
Fuck,
Ο
I’m coming to bust a cap in your punk ass. You moe foe.
Ο
Bisnach,
Ο
Please don’t hurt me, I’m already dead,Signed
Ο
Anon (Because I’m a fucking coward.)
Ο
A fucking coward.
Ο
RW: Medicine Woman
Ο
The Hamburglar
Ο
Whining Loser
 Ed: (where have you gone?)

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