Odd-Tallahassee 1

Book One

Oh lords of tall and tale, shower upon me of his own girlfriend, was spared that of

your radiant nectar of verse and dote on me death and boredom. She, daughter of the

the visions of the journey made by youth, gods who did linger in hollow caves longing

and finished by that of a man. Tell me, for his return, was the rock within his sea to

Muse, of that boy-man, so ready to party, which he would attach. He had been a hero

who came and traveled far, after he doth of his people, drinker of ales and veteran of

sacked the sacred daughter of justice, and cyber wars.

many were the places he went and the dudes

He did hale from the lands of Biblelt, in the
he didth meet, yea, and many blows he
sea of Granum. A hero from the wars of
suffered in his heart upon the campus,
Chisha, it was now deemed that he should
striving to win his honor and return of his
return from war by the gods to his
mojo. Nay, but even thou he saved not his
homeland, but not even there was he quit of
own mojo, though he desired it sore. For
his labors, not even among his own, but the
through his own blindness of mind they
gods took piety upon him. All save that but
perished, fool, who devoured the pizza of
the god of Everclear, who did torment upon
Steven: but the dean took from him his day
that of Tallahassee.
of returning. Of these things, goddess,
Serpents of fire now danced in that of the
daughter of Zeus, whensoever thou hast
tummy of he who would be legend on the
heard thereof, declare thou even unto us.
tongues of man. It twas then that the
Now all the rest, as many as fled sheer
serpents did burst, and spew upon the
destruction, and escaped both fast-food and
ground.
nine-to-five, but Tallahassee, craving only
 Odd-Tallahassee 2

Book Two

“Are you going to be ok dude?” did say the domicile, he recounted his coming to be

voice of Seth, “Maybe we should get you here. It had been him who was a champion

into bed.” But Odd, being of substance did of his people in Biblelt, but now he lay

refuse, and continued blessing Porceline, disgraced with taste of that of “Agent

white lord of water, with his offerings. It Orange” on his tongue. He knew it had been

twas the 12th of Augustus, only two weeks the partaking of champ-pagne ale of the

before the halls of learned men would be moon goddess that had lead him to this alter

opened to him, and he was a damned mess. of dirty blankets, but he could not straighten

“Seriously, are you like ok and stuff?” said in his mind how it was that he had arrived

he who did have a great red beard and was upon his brother’s doorstep to partake. But

of Odd’s blood. “Yea bud, I’m good. Once I the means of that which brought him to

finish turning inside out I will be fine.” he needing was lost amongst that of smoky

didth reply, wiping of the fluid from around rooms and underhand bargains. Trading the

his mouth. “Cool, there are blankets on the hearth of his homeland he had taken refuge

couch for you.” he did remark as he left the in that of his kin. Dirty and wafting of

cramped room for his chamber an arm’s burritos and gasoline he did sink into the

length away. “Oh and don’t forget we have plaid cushions of roadside found couch.

work at two tomorrow. Night.” and so did

It had begun with the journey of a thousand
brother of Odd leave him praying by the
miles, one taken by foot, craft, and word. A
light of hissing yellow.
woman, oh cursed daughter of Eve, who did

Staring at the outlines of shadows made by torment that of Odd days without end had

that of mechanical chariots passing the begun this his quest of drunken nakedness.
 Odd-Tallahassee 3

In the year of two-thousand-and-six he did Looking as she did through that of Odd,

join the armies of brass in defense of that of through to his thoughts, weighting that of his

which he loved, the Muses of harmony and intentions and laws of her father, “Yeah,

in doing so meet that witch, Becky of cool.” she did say.

Hamline, who did also add her silvery voice

At the gathering of his clansmen, in areas of
to the Pride of Biblelt. To him she was the
honor and duel on cyber battle fields he did
sun and stars, his light in a world most dim.
spake of his conquest over the ale of moon
Before her was only the maze gloom,
goddess. “Dude that is tight, Becky seems
nothingness he could not separate from that
pretty cool.” he spake Cornel. Next speakth
of fantasy. His life had been that of a good
that of Cecil, “I think you two will make a
man, but not that of a spectacular man.
good couple.” “We will see it is not like we
Nothing by his hand had been of great worth
are dating just yet.” did reply he though he
or of great remembering.
wished it was not words he could say.

Seating, as is the custom after the teaching

On that of the Next Thursday, when that
of the language of the muses, he did look
which is the Thanksgiving Band Party was
upon her and was filled to top with thoughts
held, Odd-Tallahassee did go to the dwelling
of lofty admiration.
of that of Hamline and delivered upon the

“Uh, hey.” he didth say to her. “Hey.” she parents of Becky great lavishment and did

did reply. “Are you going to the thing next promise the safe return of that of their

Thursday night?” asked he. “Oh the daughter of Eve by the destined hour of ten

Thanksgiving band party thing?” said she. under punishment of separation of head

“Yeah, cause like if you would like to go, I from body by son of Remmington.

could, uh, give you a ride or something.”

 Odd-Tallahassee 4

Within the craft of that of house Tallahassee,

Bev-Argo, they did ride. By those twinkles

of star did Odd see her face lit in manner

most becoming. She in his mind did

becometh that which is perfect and saved

only for that of Olympus on high. And here

it was that the goddess of love did play that

trick that occurs in that of the hearts of men

by turning his desire into that of need and

crafted the heart of Odd into needing that of

what Becky was.

Upon landing on the shore of festivle