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Published by: api-25931292 on Jun 08, 2010
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Happy Harry’s Mental Moment…
This daily e-mail can be found athttp://twitter.com/harryreo

All Pro Dad and The Family Minute are 2 great resources for parenting and family
information- I have shared a number of posts from them in the past and thought this
one while geared at our kids could be used by those with or without children…

10 Specific Compliments to Give Your Children
(as posted on All Pro Dad)

In the opening pages of Rudyard Kipling’s classic novel “The Jungle Book”, Tabaqui (the jackal) sees a litter of wolf cubs and points out “How beautiful are the noble children! How large their eyes….” In flattering the cubs, he breaks a fundamental jungle rule.

“Tabaqui knew there is nothing so unlucky as to compliment children to
their faces,” Kipling writes. “He rejoiced in the mischief he had made.”

Kipling may have written for another era and from another continent, but his
story highlights the challenge inherent in dishing out kudos around our

Is it OK? How much is too much? What’s the difference between hopeful
encouraging and lying? When is praise inflationary? How can I be objective?

Fact is, children look to their parents for encouragement, and finding
affirmation at home is foundational to positive emotional development.
Parents need to be in the business of building our children up. But we also
need to be honest, and it’s important to use compliments that really mean
something. Kids can sense disingenuousness and empty praise. Making stuff
up is harmful; false praise is dishonest and the practice breaks trust.

Here are 10 compliments all kids need to hear:

1.Recognize and compliment character:
We live in a world where integrity is neither consistently taught nor widely
expected. When our children demonstrate honesty, kindness,
trustworthiness and reliability, that’s a great time to take them aside and
offer a sincere compliment.

2.Compliment obedience and respect:
It’s too easy to fall into patterns of disapproval, where the only time we
notice is when kids do wrong. Rather than waiting for disobedience or
disrespect (then coming down like a ton of bricks) try noticing obedience
and respect: “I don’t always remember to tell you, but you are an
awesome young man, and I appreciate the way you treat your mother”.

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