Professional Documents
Culture Documents
I’ve been a mental health “professional” since the age of five. My father was
42 years old and I was 5 years old the year he tried to commit suicide. I made a
decision way back then, though it was not a conscious one, to find out why my
artistic and creative father wanted to leave his family and to leave his life behind.
When I was about the age he was when he made his first suicide attempt, I found
a journal he had written, which gave me a window into his world.
January 4:
"I feel full confidence in my writing ability. I know for certain that someone will
buy one of my radio shows. I know for certain that I will get a good part in a play.
Last night I dreamt about candy. There was more candy than I could eat. Does it
mean I'll be rewarded for all my efforts?"
June 24:
"Your flesh crawls, your scalp wrinkles when you look around and see good
writers, established writers, writers with credits a block long, unable to sell,
unable to find work. Yes, it's enough to make anyone blanch, turn pale and
sicken."
August 28:
“All around me I see the young in spirit, the young in heart, with ten times my
confidence, twice my youth, ten times my fervor, twice my education. I see them
all, a whole army of them, battering at the same doors I’m battering, trying in the
same field I’m trying.”
November 8:
Although his journals told a story of a man who was sad and depressed about
his inability to find work in the creative field he loved, at home he was often
angry, judgmental, and withdrawn. He would yell at my mother, then disappear
for days.
Five days after his last journal entry, he took an overdose of sleeping pills.
Although he didn’t die, our lives were never the same. He was sent to a mental
hospital. I was sent to school to learn my ABCs. Neither one of us adapted well
to our surroundings. He ultimately escaped from the mental hospital after being
incarcerated for 9 years.
I tried to be a good boy. I tried not to rock the boat. I tried to be smart and
logical about my life. I was terrified of my emotions and secretly sure I would turn
out like my father. I thought if I became a doctor I could magically protect myself
against his fate and save him, and men like him, from mental illness. I went into
medical school, but felt stifled. One day I walked out. Or at least I tried to walk
out. I had to see a psychiatrist before they would allow me to leave. Anyone
who wanted to get out of medical school, when most people would kill to get in,
must be crazy.
When I left medical school, the lid came off of my emotions. I let myself feel
again. Once I let go of control of my feelings, I found that I was happier and also
more depressed. My emotions went up and down. When I was diagnosed as
being bipolar (manic-depressive) I felt the stigma of being labeled “mentally ill.”
But I also was able to get help, support, and good treatment. I could better deal
with the ups and downs of my life and I didn’t have to attempt suicide as my
father had done.
Gender, Depression, and Stigma
My PhD study was titled, Male vs. Female Depression: Why Men Act Out
and Women Act In. I introduced the study this way:
“Women seek help—men die.” This conclusion was drawn from a study of
suicide prevention by Angst & Ernst. They found that 75% of those who sought
professional help in an institution for suicide prevention were female. Conversely
75% of those who committed suicide in the same year were male. Since
depression is a significant risk factor for suicide and men receive less treatment
for depression than do women, it is vitally important that we have a better
understanding of the way depression manifests itself in males. Failure to
diagnose and treat depression can lead to significantly increased morbidity and
mortality.
He goes on to say, “There have been many efforts to combat the stigma of
mental illness, but with limited success at best. That’s in part because the
stereotypes are so powerful: Mental patients are either violently dangerous or
docile and incompetent. We fear the first and disdain the latter. These are not
equal opportunity stereotypes, however. The image of dangerous mental illness,
including violent alcoholism, is much more often directed at men. Similarly,
women are much more likely to be caricatured as pathologically dependent and
depressed.”
The study was quite interesting. Psychologists James Wirth of Purdue and
Galen Bodenhausen of Northwestern, authors of the study, wanted to know if
these gender biases contribute to the harmful stigma of mental illness.
Specifically, they suspected that when the mentally ill act “out of character,”
violating the stereotype, they might arouse more of our sympathy and leniency; if
it’s more uncommon, it’s probably more authentic. By contrast, we might be more
apt to blame and stigmatize the mentally ill when they conform to stereotype.
Some read about Brian, who was a stereotypical alcoholic, while others read
about Karen, who showed all the classical symptoms of major depression. Still
others read switched-around versions of these cases, so that Karen was the one
abusing alcohol and Brian was depressed. The idea was to see if the typicality of
Brian and Karen’s symptoms (or lack of it) shaped the volunteers’ reactions and
judgments.
They were also more willing to help Brian and Karen when they suffered from
an atypical disorder. Most striking of all, the volunteers were much more likely to
view Brian’s depression (and Karen’s alcoholism) as genuine biological disorders
— rather than character defects or matters of personal irresponsibility.
If we are going to deal with the stresses of life, we are going to have to get
past our stereotypes and acknowledge that we are all suffering. We need to
reach out to each other, not stereotype and stigmatize. We need to heal our
relationship to the earth, each other, and ourselves.
For more information about my work, feel free to contact me at:
www.MenAlive.com