a universe away from the desires of his heart. What does he want? He wants a reason to be. He wants a purpose. Without a great battle in which to live or die, the fierce part of his nature goes underground, into his unconscious mind, and simmers there in a sullenanger that he can’t explain. Each year that passes drives another nail into his feet, likeJesus on the Cross, as he sacrifices his need to “be something” for others..
Men past fortyGet up nights, look out at city lights And wonder Where they made the wrong turn And why life is so long.2
.What is it that is wrong? Most men don’t even know. We only know that we are restless,discontent, angry about the way our lives have turned out. We pursue the things we’retold are the marks of success: power, wealth, fame, the most desirable women. But onceachieved, they turn out to be not enough. The heart is not satisfied with these goals..Ancient sages classified the masculine as “sun beings.” And the sun is the domain of individuality, ego-consciousness, which is separate and self-satisfying. The feminine, onthe other hand, are “moon beings” which are tribal, collective, and group satisfying.Faced with the danger of life in the wild, the tribe comes first. Faced with the dangers of economic ruin in modern society, so too does the tribe come first. Men want to make adifference as an individual. They require a sense of self, a sense of personal pride, thefeeling of being self-reliant and independent. That is not possible if one is to be a successin an organization or in a family. Woman want bonding, unity, domestication, collectiveidentity, joint responsibility, and mutual dependence..Wives see that “making a difference” is a collective issue: raising a family, raising andcaring for children, providing for the family unit. And it is! And in the modernworkplace, the individual ego has no lasting place; it is the preservation of the collectiveorganization that matters. Only the “top cat” in an organization can act the part of King of Beasts. Other males must circle and watch from a distance. They never win their Pride..
A man must do. He must disengage from the mother And find his way of “doing,”Which is a way of pain. A woman has only to be.3
.Losing their pride causes men to feel they are not men. Beneath their “public face” suchmen know they are a sham; they feel weak; they feel a failure. And they hate their weakness and insufficiency. Their frustrated passions turn dark. They become distant,abusive, controlling, angry at the wives and children, wander off into affairs, or losethemselves in strong drink. Or their self-hate turns them into hyenas, slinking around,hating themselves and their lives..