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TheSplendorFallsRosemaryClement-MooreToMom.Forathousandandonereasons.Geniusisanotherwordformagic,andthewholepointofmagicisthatitisinexplicable--damemargotfonteyn,primaballerina prologueFormonths,Irelivedthepasdedeuxinmydreams,inthatmultisensoryTechnicolorofamemoryI'dmuchratherforget.Nothingeverchanged:thebackstageperfumeofsweatandhair spray.Theheatandglareofthelights.ThedeliciouscoilandspringofmymusclesasImovedthroughthechoreographyasifitwereaspontaneousoutburstofthejoyIfeltwhenIdanced.TheglorioustriumphovergravityasPashaliftedmeoverhishead,andIwasuntethered,notjustfromthestage,butfromtheearth.2IfIcouldhaveforcedmyselftowakeupthen,itwouldhavebeenbetter.Likedyinghappy.Butthedanceplayedoutinmeasuredbeats,asunchangingasareeloffilm.Pashasetmedown,softasmoonlight;theorchestracoveredthehollowtapofmypointeshoeonthestage.Ibalancedononeleg,theotherstretchedupbehindme,prolongingtheillusionof flight.Icouldneversaywhatwentwronginthenexteightbars.Thestagewasclean,mypointewassolid.Itwasn'tevenaparticularlydifficultcombination.Comedowntofourthposition,portdebrasandchangementtosecondpositionandaquickseriesofchaînéturns.Rightfoot,leftfoot,right...thenastrangecrunchingsoundthatseemedtocomefrominsidemyhead.WithoutknowinghowIgotthere,Iwasfacedownonthestage,andthemurmursoftheaudiencewereescalatingwithworry.Inmydream--mymemory--Itriedtogetup,butPashaheldmedown,lapsingintopanickedRussian.Ididn'thavetounderstandthelanguagetoknowthatsomethinghadgoneverywrong.It'sfunnyhowsomuchcanhingeononemissedstep. Notfunnyha-ha.Funnythatthemomentthatshouldhavebeenthepinnacleofmyseventeenyearsonthisplanetendsupmakingmefamousfortheentirelywrongreason.SoIreallydon'tmeanfunnysomuchas“tragicallyironic.”Dancersgetinjureddoingtheflashythings,jetésandéchappés.Imean,whothehellbreakstheirlegonaturntheyteachinthetiny-totsclass?3Me,Iguess.Themonthbefore,I'dgottenafull-pagewrite-upinBalletMagazine.Themonthafter,Iwasatragiciteminasidebartoanarticleoninsuringyourlegs,BettyGrablestyle,againstcareer-endinginjuries.SylvieDavis,theyoungest-everprincipaldancerforAmericanBallet,sufferedacompoundtibiaandfibulafractureinfrontofhundredsofhorrifiedaudiencemembersduringherstunningdebutatLincolnCenter.AtleastIknewhowtomakeanexit.45
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