Hilarious One-Liner Restaurant Reviews from Zagat.com
The following list of one-liner restaurant "reviews" are directly quoted from restaurant customers quoted on
These are actual restaurant reviews, none are made up.
Individually, many of these arepretty funny. Collectively, they're hilarious. (My personal favorites are highlighted in bold). I actually startedputting this article together over a year ago, and it’s a good job I researched them when I did as
isnow a paid subscription only service.
“The waiter repeatedly called my aging parents 'Coach' and 'Darling.”
“Our waiter would have been better cast as an undertaker.” “What they lack in quality, they make up for with butter.” “The waiters are trained to bang into you.” “Proof that there’s no shortage of people who want to eat bad food in historicbuildings.” “I’d love to go back – if you were paying.”
“I'm convinced that my salad was deep-fried.”
“They’re having siesta while you're trying to fiesta.” “Like putting a tiara on a street vendor.” “I've been in prisons with better service.” “The food looks like it was plated by toddlers.”
“Food is awesomely average.”
“His food tastes better on TV.” “I go here a lot, and I'm not sure why.” “Only the flies on our table enjoyed the meal.” “I thought I was looking at an oil painting when suddenly it moved – it wasmy waitress.” “The flagship of a fleet that needs an overhaul.”
“I’m pretty sure I ate cow’s udders and liked them.”
“The special occasion place for people with bad taste.” “If only the spectacular view could fill one's stomach.”