18 TUESDAY
APRIL 8, 2008
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daily lives. It is your page,
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at mattlamers@heraldm.com
Overseas with
your main squeeze
I find it hilarious and iron-
ic that a person who spent
the majority of her early
twenties in an embittered
and cynical frame of mind
when it came to relationships
has now, in her late twenties,
chosen to explore various
kinds of unions found in the
corner of the world she has
happened to find herself. The
fact that this is relevant and
ironic only to the four people
in Korea I actually know is
also not lost on me. But trust
me; it’s there. The irony, that
is. In spades.
But I digress.
I pride myself on being
able to distinguish the subtle
differences and nuances that
may or may not appear in
and which may define vari-
ous types of relationships.
Just don’t ask me to turn
that looking glass on myself
or any of my so-called-rela-
tionships, as the second
that’s asked of me, I sudden-
ly seem to go blind, deaf and
dumb. Both in the verbal
and intellectual sense.
As far as the rest of the
world goes, I am an Einstein
equivalent when it comes to
EQ, but when it comes to
myself? That’s another story
altogether. So what does this
genius decide to take it upon
herself to do? If you guessed:
Move to South Korea to
teach English with the man
she happens to be in a rela-
tionship with, you’re an id-
iot. And also right. You can
be both. Trust me.
Thus, the continuation of our
relationship saga will feature:
The I’m-moving-to-Korea-
with-you-so-if-you-mess-this-
up-I’ll-kill-you relationship:
Oh yes, that’s right. Not only
has this jaded ex-cynic decid-
ed to write about relation-
ships in a foreign country;
she has chosen to engage in
one herself. And not just any
one. This one. Perhaps the
biggest one, the biggest chal-
lenge, the biggest risk, the
one you stand to lose the
most from, should it fail —
you know — the way all my
other relationships have up
until this point.
After all, I decided, relation-
ships aren’t quite complicated
or difficult enough these days,
Letter to the editor
Distortion in
‘Prejudice’ article
My name is David Kim, the
person who was assaulted
along with my wife.
Regarding the first letter:
Are you telling me that if you
get seriously hurt here, the
police will not, and are not
expected to, call an ambu-
lance?
Are you telling me that filing
a report is more important
than medical attention?
You suggest that foreigners
keep quiet and not talk loudly.
Are you kidding?
If a Korean were to be se-
verely beaten, and his wife
nearly raped, in any country, it
would be expected that the at-
tackers would be apprehended
and held on bail.
At the very least, the victims
would have a chance to tell
their story to the police. We did
not have that chance.
Also, my wife is Korean; I
came to Korea to spend time
with my wife’s family before
getting married. You said: “I
Stephanie Morris
on Women’s Issues
I’m feeling up for a bit of a
challenge. Let’s toss living to-
gether AND working together
into the mix, and combine it
with the physical alienation
from all that we hold near and
dear, the support systems we
have so carefully constructed
around ourselves in the event
that our union goes nuclear —
and put the two of us smack-
dab in the middle of a country
where no one understands
what we’re even saying, much
less where we’re coming from.
That sounds like fun! Fact:
One would have to have more
than a few idiotic tendencies
(of which I happen to be in
possession of in large quanti-
ties) to embark on such an
adventure. Fact: One would
also have to boast something
akin to the strength of steel
and a solid sense of who they
are, what they want and
where they want to go, as in-
dividuals and as a couple pri-
or to committing to this.
See? Idiot AND right. See
how I did that?
Has it been hard? Hell,
yes. Has it been fraught with
challenges, trials, tribula-
tions and everything in be-
tween? Hell, yes. Has it been
worth it so far? See above.
Nothing that’s worth any-
thing in life is ever easy.
Easy to come by, easy to ac-
complish, easy to under-
stand or get through. In the
end, whatever the end might
be, that’s what makes it
worth doing. So, for those of
us who are involved in this
ridiculously ill-advised ad-
venture that you would have
to be an idiot to get on board
with, we’re doing something
which some, if not most,
would be too afraid to do.
Plunging head-first into un-
charted waters, not knowing
how deep you’ll be able to go.
That’s really what a rela-
tionship is, anyway. Or, maybe,
what it should at least be.
Stephanie can be reached
through her blog at steph-
anieinsuwon.blogspot.com —
Ed.
am sure he should have done
something wrong — such as
speaking out too loudly, or
something else.”
I wonder if you would feel
the same way if your wife or
girlfriend were almost raped
and dragged into a room
while you fought for your
life, and your wife’s — all be-
cause you were speaking too
loudly.
My wife had two of her teeth
broken. I had surgery on my
jaw and I can’t feel my jaw due
to nerve-ending damage.
The incident happened on
March 10, and I was in the hos-
pital for almost two weeks.
After leaving the hospital, we
contacted the police almost
every day, but no one called
back so that we could give our
statement.
It’s approaching a month
since the incident, and, to this
day, we have not yet been able
to give our statement.
The law should be straight-
forward: If you break the law,
you go to jail. You should not
have options like paying your
way out.
— David Kim, Seoul
COMMUNITY
A Korean motorcycle diary
Following is a photo diary of a motorcycle trip Sam tide came in, it carried in more and more of this plant,
Little took two weekends ago. Photos and captions by and the people were picking it up and bagging it. The
Sam Little. — Ed. little homemade sticks with anchor-like ends were
neat, and their outfits were funky. The water was freez-
Top photo: This is from a lake on the east coast (I ing, but people were still working hard and enjoying
don’t the name of the lake because I lost my atlas off themselves.
the back of the bike). The sun was setting and the
mountains were tiered, like something you see in a Right and bottom right photos: These pictures
postcard. There were birds and nature, and the sun were taken on my way back from the far northeast cor-
was still warm on my face. I stood by the lake smiling ner of Korea. I was on my way back down from the
and thinking what a great experience I was having rid- Goseong unification observatory, as bikes are not al-
ing around Korea on my motorcycle. It was only the lowed to go any farther north, only cars. So I only saw
first day, and I had two more to go. I made it from Seoul a military checkpoint where I was turned me back.
to the far northeast, and down to Seocho in one day. I This little fishing village was just south of the observa-
found it much easier to get around Korea then I ever tory. It was a gem, and I strolled around the port for an
imagined. hour or so, taking pictures and watching the people go
about their daily lives. People were friendly, offering
Bottom left photo: I rode back down the east coast me snacks, and of course, beer and soju. It was a mem-
towards Ganseong, and came across this long beach. At orable experience, as I had reached the east coast and
the end of the beach, there were many people wading been as far northeast as I could go. That was my goal
in the water and collecting plants from the sea. As the on this trip.
A way to break down prejudices
Adalia Ellis came to Korea in dance one more time. “It was MIZY Center. The MIZY Center value of taking a step back, not
2002 as an English teacher, but Regina Walton’s very by accident, but some of — Myeongdong Info Zone of becoming overwhelmed with
left as a completely different Expat Interviews the most wonderful, beautiful Youth — is a youth cultural cen- the emotion of anger — and say
person. “The first year and a things that happen in a person’s ter formed by the Korean ‘okay, what can I do to change it
half to two years I was here is school on Vancouver Island, life are seemingly by accident.” Commission for UNESCO. Park — even a little?’”
what gave me meaning for be- Canada, which had a very She was in a restaurant and was very interested in her form- In addition, to teaching the his-
ing in Korea beyond just teach- strong dance program, she looked up at the TV and saw ing a history of hip-hop course. tory of hip-hop, Adalia is passion-
ing English. I loved it. It was a
magical time.”
gained a lot of experience. “We
would do performances for
what she described as one of the
most disturbing things she’d
Adalia stresses that although
hip-hop appears to be a very
ate about salsa dancing. “Falling
in love with salsa was definitely
Adalia and I met when we at- schools like elementary schools seen in her life. “The Bubble modern form of music, that it unplanned.” She was first ex-
tended a get together for blacks and high schools on lots of dif- Sisters, these Korean women has a deep history tied to African posed to salsa in South Carolina
who where living in Seoul. Over ferent social issues. When I was dressed up as the extremely culture, slavery, reconstruction through friends. In Korea, she
dinner, I found out that had in that group, that’s when I had stereotypical black women. I re- and black American history. was invited by a friend to come to
been an avid salsa dancer and a lot of exposure to dance. Just member standing there and I The course she created was salsa classes with her. From
also a dance teacher. Like me, being able to see how movement was fighting back tears. I was called HipHopUcation and she there, she just fell in love with it
she’d also been in Korea for a can be used to tell a story, to ex- standing there and seeing them taught it for about a year and a and eventually started to teach
few years. When you talk to press emotion and to educate. act — it was the worst portray- half. She said through the people after getting positive feed-
Adalia you immediately notice So that was my first real experi- al I’d seen of black people prob- course, she’d formed friendships back on how she was able to
her open and welcoming spirit. ence as a dancer,” she said. ably in a long time and it that will last a lifetime. break down dance movements
Ellis left Korea just last month “I did that for four years and shocked me.” “I was amazed by their will- into easier steps that people
but while she was here she was traveled all over Canada and She noticed that people in the ingness to understand and their could understand.
active with one of her other pas- western America.” Before she restaurant were laughing. She desire to understand the history Adalia is now back in the
sions — dance. Her earliest came to Korea she had been went home that evening frus- of hip-hop so they could better United States where she will
memories of dance are when she working with a youth group in trated and angry. She was al- understand not just hip-hop, start studying for a master’s in
was a young girl. Se said that at South Carolina called Youth ready annoyed with how hip- but the history of African- teaching to become certified as a
“five or six I would make up Out Loud. This group is a per- hop was being sold and por- Americans.” She felt that it was social studies secondary educa-
dances in the living room. Ever formance art group and she trayed in Korea. She said she a way to break down prejudices. tion teacher. From there, she said
since I was little I’ve been really worked as their coordinator for was really angry but realized “If you understand the history of she wants to “start a program for
drawn to movement and was in about five years. “I would chore- that education was a way to someone, if you understand young people using the arts, and
love with dancing — unfortu- ograph dances, teach them and overcome these sorts of preju- where they’re coming from, it’s it would be a leadership develop-
nately, though, where I grew up they would perform them.” dices. She remembered that she hard to be fearful and it’s hard ment program also connected
in South Carolina there weren’t When she came to Korea she had her African history course to have prejudices about them.” with the arts, which would even-
opportunities for children who said she thought she had hung notes from university with her. She was very happy because it tually become a school.”
were biracial (or) for children up her dancing shoes for good. Those notes formed the foun- encouraged open-minds and a
who were not wealthy to really “(I) wasn’t thinking, actually, dation of a course she later willingness to learn.
take dance classes and get expe- that I would be dancing.” taught on the history of hip-hop. She stressed that she also Regina can be reached
rience in dance training.” It took a traumatic experi- A friend put her in contact learned from her students. “I through her blog at http://ex-
At an international high ence to inspire her to take up with Park Young-min of the learned from my students the patjane.blogspot.com — Ed.