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Marriage Preparation

Marriage Preparation

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Published by robert543
Talk on Marriage Preparation
Talk on Marriage Preparation

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Published by: robert543 on Jun 15, 2010
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08/06/2014

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MarriagePreparation
 
Engaged Couples Talk As long as the wedding cake lasts the man will be infatuated. But afterwards he willcome to himself and say: “That foolish woman wishes to be the master.” And then thesquabbling will begin at home.-Vincent Ferrer, sermon
Thomas More's advice to those married or engaged
Here Thomas More provides some excellent advice and guidance for holiness in love andmarriage:“Saint Paul here exhorteth men to love their wives, so tenderly that they should be of themind, that to bring them to heaven they could find in their hearts to die for them, asChrist hath died for Christian people to bring them to heaven, and that men, to that intentthat they may bring their wives to the glorious bliss of heaven, should here bring themwell up in faith, in hope, and charity, and in good works, like as God hath washed hisChurch of all Christian people.” (Complete works of St Thomas More, New Haven: YaleUniv. Press, 1973, bk, 8, pp 851-52).More tells us some advice for those interested in marriage:“And so, my friend, if you desire to marry, first observe what kind of parents the ladyhas. See to it that her mother is revered for the excellence of her character which issucked in and expressed by her tender and impressionable little girl. Next, see to this:what sort of personality she has: how agreeable she is. Let her maidenly countenance becalm and without severity. But let her modesty bring blushes to her cheeks… Let her glances be restrained; let her have no roving eye… Let her be either just finishing her education or ready to begin it immediately… Armed with this learning, she would notyield to pride in prosperity, nor to grief in distress – even though misfortune strike her down.” (To Candidus: how to choose a wife, poem number 143. Complete works of StThomas More, 3/2:185-7).
The secret to a happy marriage
A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquillityhad long been the talk of the town."What a peaceful & loving couple!" A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to thesecret of their long and happy marriage."Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the man. "We visited the GrandCanyon and took a trip down to the bottom on the canyon by horse. We hadn't gone toofar when my wife's horse stumbled. My wife quietly said, 'That's once'.""We proceeded a little further and the horse stumbled again. Once more my wife quietlysaid, 'That's twice.'"We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled the third time. My wife quietlyremoved a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead." I started an angry protestover her treatment to the horse, while I was shouting; She looked at me, and quietly said,'That's once'."And we lived happily ever after."
The importance of family
Family is important to God. He has a unique plan and purpose for every family. The bestway to discover what that plan entails is to put Jesus at the centre of our family life. JohnPaul II said that “God’s purpose for family is that it be a school of love, it be anenvironment where different members of the family can love and be loved by another.”
 
Gary Chapman wrote a book called the 5 love languages. In this book it shows how thereare 5 different ways of showing love. Each one of these ways is good in and of itself, butin order for a family to truly grow together, all five of them should be present in someform.These 5 ways are:1. Quality family time. This is time for full and undivided attention. It can be both seriousand fun. It might include meals, prayers and outings.2. Positive speech such as verbal compliments, affirmations, appreciations are powerfulcommunicators of love. These bring honour, respect and acceptance. Frequent putdownssuch as sarcasm can bring pain and self doubt. Forgiveness helps to avoid tension. Saying‘I’m sorry’ and I forgive you are very useful. Politeness is also very useful andindispensable for making living together easier.3. Gifts are a visible symbols of love. The thought behind the gift is most important. Thegift of faith is the greatest gift we can give one another. It is free and will last an eternity.The Magi bring Jesus gifts at his birth: Gold, frankincense and myrrh. Who knows whatJesus would have done with these gifts? Gifts are not a substitute or replacement for other ways of showing love.4. Physical touch is a way of communicating emotional love. Hugs, pats on the back,hand on a shoulder or other more intimate expressions are ways to show that we care for each other.5. Service. Jesus said that he came to serve and not to be served. He washed the feet of his disciples to show how far he was willing to be a servant. Service is doing somethingyou don’t want to do in order to make life easier for someone else.
Good communication in relationships
According to Father Father Michael Ryanthe positive moments and comments in arelationship such as a marriage should outnumber the negative times by about 5 to 1. Our capacity to tolerate negativity has a very short fuse. In his book, “The last straw: ways toovercome the stumbling blocks in communication towards a stronger and happier marriage,” He states that we must avoid hurting others in every way such as with wordsor actions. Then we must also foster an atmosphere in which one can express the other what is hurting. Then we must also accept the fact that we can hurt others when we don’tintend to. He states that a happy marriage has the following character traits: the couplespends quality and quantity time together, they know how to express affection for eachother, they show commitment to family life, they can discuss in a constructive way andthey share spiritual values. Sometimes marriages can break up because of misunderstandings that could have been avoided. To look for help is not a sign of weakness but a sign of wisdom.
Saving your marriage before it starts
Dr Les and Leslie Parrott have written a wonderful tiny book called saving your marriage before itstarts. It contains some wonderful insights into marital relationships by experienced marriagecounsellors.It challenges many myths about marriage such as expecting the same things from marriage, thateverything good in the relationship will get better, everything bad will disappear and that a spousewill make you whole. It states how passion, intimacy and commitment create different forms of love styles such as romantic, foolish or companionable love. They describe different stages of a

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