An O herspen Letter to Fat By Peter Buffett ow will you feel today? Grateful? Loved? Happy? Remorseful? Guilty? Sad? Proud?HRelieved?Each father has his story to tell. The complexities of family life lead to unspokendynamics that play out in innumerable ways. No father is perfect. But every fatherwants his child to lead a happy, fulfilled life. Often, however, a father’s definition of ulfillment may be very different from that of the child’s. Or perhaps it’s just thets.f mythic struggle of a child’s need to separate himself from the identity of his paren his need can take many forms. And it can lead to years of difficulty as father andTchild find the balance between the impulse to nurture and the need to individuate.But as I’ve found in my own life, this does not have to be the case. While the recipeor each family may be different, the two main ingredients are the same: time andf unconditional love.These two elements are the fundamental building blocks in the life of anyrelationship. They are simultaneously corrosive and bonding. Time breaks downmisconceptions and misunderstandings. And it solidifies acknowledgment andrespect. Unconditional love says that ego isn’t invested in the outcome. That “Noatter what you do or who you are, I love you”. It’s an awesome statement – andmone that will most likely be tested!I knew from a very young age that my father had no attachment to the outcome of my life. Which is very different from not being interested in my life. Myunderstanding of this led to a level of freedom that can only be measured by my ownsense of fulfillment. I knew that my father’s ego and desires were fed by him, not bye. And that his greatest sense of accomplishment as a parent could only bemreflected in my finding my own path in life.I urge fathers everywhere to look at the light in your child’s eyes. It burns withunique potential. It will take them to unknown places – maybe places that you werenever able to discover for yourself. You have the ability to douse the flame with thefears and frustrations that you may carry in your own life because that was done toyou, or you can feed the flame with love. Unconditional love that tells your childverything it needs to know ‐ that I am safe to explore my feelings and passions, andeI will always have a safe harbor.And for that extraordinary gift, every day will be father’s day.