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Things i Do at the Wrong Time

Things i Do at the Wrong Time

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Published by ShilohDeannaCarlsen

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Published by: ShilohDeannaCarlsen on Jun 20, 2010
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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06/20/2010

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1 ThinkingI'm laying in my bed at 2:00 am listening to the cars go by thinking about the people in the cars.Where are they going at 2:00 am? To a lovers house? Away from a lovers house? Coming home fromwork? About to get into a car crash? If they did would they matter to anyone? Are they pretty? I guessI'll never know. I do this every night even though my therapist says it's not good for a healthy mind.But guess what when you're in eighth grade and you have a 14.0 reading level I think that if someonetells you to stop thinking they need to see a therapist. Ha. Wow. That doesn't work does it? I hatetherapists with a burning passion. Honest to God if I could chop them up in little pieces and sell themas sushi I would. It is now 2:02 I have managed to think all of this in two minutes, maybe not all in thatorder or that... whats the word? Unjumbled. Even if thats not really a word. I should really try to go back to sleep, but really whats the point anymore? I have two different kinds of sleep disorders and I'mclinically depressed. Wait, I can make it shorter. I'm crazy.“Hazel! Why are you not up yet?! I know you're awake!” My mother is banging on my door. Itis now 11:00 pm. “I'll be up in a minute!” I yell back. Even though I totally wont because now that itslight out, theres noise in the house, and people aren't sleeping my mind can shut off and I can go tosleep. Thats really strange. I know. My mother shuffles back down the hallway already giving up onher insane daughter. I can just imagine what she's thinking. (She's not going to get up. Why should I bother? That lady said I should get her up at 7 everyday. But she wont. Why did I get a crazy? Whycouldn't I have a normal baby?) So even though my whole body is screaming at me to stay in bed, Idrag myself off the bed and through my piles of notebooks filled with useless writing, clothes, bras and ballet pointe shoes I will never wear and open my door. I walk out into the living room and watch mymother cry, knowing that she doesn't want me to see, doesn't know I'm standing right there, and doesn'twant me anywhere near her. I walk past her and go to the kitchen. I pour my little sister some cerealand go back to my room. She doesn't ask why I don't make myself breakfast anymore. I take off my jeans, my underwear and my bra. This is what I sleep in? Yes. I get a thong out of my drawer slip it onand find some jeans. Lucky me. Their clean. I find a bra and a Kiss t-shirt, pull it all on, grab my keyand my wallet and head out to begin my day. First a meeting with our school counselor, she insisted wemeet during the summer also. She really looks like a leprechaun. She's super skinny, wears all greenand these hideous gold buckle shoes. She's only like four foot something and has salt and pepper oldlady hair. I get to her office at 11:45 “Hello Hazel. How are you feeling today?” leprechaun asked inwhat I suppose she thought was a soothing voice. I yawned. “Excellent.” I said in what she probablythought I thought was a convincing voice. When really I just wanted to be done with this already.“Good. Are you sleeping well?” she asked stifling a yawn herself. “I get amazing sleep every nightwith my boyfriend. So I guess yeah I'm sleeping well.” I said. This was a total lie considering my boyfriend dumped me for my not crazy, blond, skinny, ex-best friend four months ago. Plus I'm a virginand I guess I plan on being one for awhile. She sighs. “Hazel. Are you taking your sleeping pills?” Sheasks not really caring. “Yeah” I say. Which isn't technically a lie because I do take them just not atnight. She scribbles, bad crazy Hazel, notes in her note book and tells me I can go. It's 12:00 she gaveup on me in 15 minutes wow almost beat my mother this time. I book it right when she says I canleave.I go home even though it's the last place I want to be. I could call Ginnie and ask her to go tothe movies with me but she's probably already there with her boyfriend. Ah whatever. I walk into myhouse go to the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. At my short boyish hair, my small blueisheyes that aren't even blue enough to be blue. My weird nose with the stupid freckle right in the middle,

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