How Long Will I Suffer?

“You can’t see your mother’s dead body! You’re a robber! A disobedient
daughter! You are the very cause of my beloved’s estate. I hate you! I don’t
need you! Get lost! Go to Hell!”

“But father please, I want to see my mother. I want to ask forgiveness from
her. I want to see my mother.”

I can still remember when I was a student, I like going out with my friends to
parties; and being a teenager I was always curious and inquisitive with the
things around me.

But every time I go with my friends, my mother is always there, asking me

not to do this or that and I always get angry with her meddling. One night,
while I was dressed and waiting for my friends to pick me up, my mother
asked me where I was going, and she pleaded for me to stay home. But I
shouted at her angrily. “You aging sickly woman! Get out of my way! You
always meddle with my affairs. Maybe, I am not your real daughter, that’s
why you don’t allow me to go out with my friends and be happy with them.”
Then I pushed her out of my way, turned my back on her and left her crying.

When I came back, I was terribly trembling, sweating and thirsty. “I need to
have an injection. I must be injected with drugs. But how? I don’t even have a
single centavo left? Oh, I remember, there’s some money for my mother’s
medicine on the shelf.” I have taken it and hurriedly went out of the house
without paying attention to my mother’s calls because she could hardly get
up to follow me out. How happy was I then.

One evening, when I went home- when I was still 30 meters away from our
house, I saw that our house was so bright, and there are so many people
inside. “Oh God!”, I said to myself. “Maybe my father and our neighbors are
celebrating for my mother’s recovery”. I continued walking and after a few
minutes, I reached our house.

The door was open and to my surprise, my father stopped me and pushed me
out and shouted angrily,

“You can’t see your mother’s dead body! You’re a robber! A disobedient
daughter! You are the very cause of my beloved’s estate. I hate you! I don’t
need you! Get lost! Go to Hell!”

“But father please, I want to see my mother. I want to ask forgiveness from
her. I want to see my mother.”

“Oh God, what have I done? I’ve lost my virginity and honor. I’ve lost the love
of my father. And above all, I’ve lost my mother. Oh God, how long will I
suffer?”