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Find Big Fat Fanny Fast - The Russian Baths

Find Big Fat Fanny Fast - The Russian Baths

Ratings: (0)|Views: 880|Likes:
Published by Joe Bruno
Been to the Russian Baths on E 10th Street many times after an all night bender. They have a small caferteria too. Best Romanian Steaks and frozen Vodka.
Been to the Russian Baths on E 10th Street many times after an all night bender. They have a small caferteria too. Best Romanian Steaks and frozen Vodka.

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Categories:Topics, Art & Design
Published by: Joe Bruno on Jul 02, 2010
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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06/23/2011

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A naked Tony B sat and hunched over in the sauna, at the Russian Baths on 10
th
Street in theEast Village. Sitting with him and also naked were Junior, Shorty Stitchhead and Bobby the Beak.They sat around a huge rock-walled furnace, which was filled with 20,000 pounds of intensely heatedrocks. This furnace raised the temperature in the room to a sweltering 120 degrees freaking Fahrenheit.Sprinkled around the room were men of various shapes, sizes and nationalities. Every second or so, someone would grab one of the many buckets in the room, fill it with cold water from a rubber hose and dump it over their heads. This procedure was repeated by each person in the room,approximately every thirty seconds. Otherwise, they would fry to death and that would not be a goodthing for Tony B and his boys.The fact that all the people in the room were naked and could hardly hide a recording device, plus the fact that no one else in the room could listen into their conversation while they were dumping buckets of water over their heads twice a minute, made this the perfect place for Tony B to discuss business.“Mannaggia, I wish we were here on one of the Bath House's coed days,” Bobby the Beak said.“Imagine being in this room with a bunch of naked broads.” He dumped a bucket of ice water on hishead.“Don't be stupid, “Junior said. He dumped a bucket of water on his head. “On coed days, bothmen and woman have to wear bathing suits in here.”Bobby the Beak dumped another bucket of water on his head. “Even that's way better thansittin' in a room with a bunch of naked guys.”Shorty Stitchhead dumped a bucket of water on his head. “Not if you're Liberace, it ain't.”Tony B dumped a bucket of water on his head. “Let's cut the bull, we're here to discuss business.”“My father's right,” Junior said. “Now listen up. This is important.” He dumped a bucket of water on his head.Tony B dumped a bucket of water on his head. “The word on the streets is that the Chinesehave declared all out war on the Italians. Now that means we gotta declare war too.”Shorty Stitchhead dumped a bucket of water on his head. “So you want us to start taking out theTriangle gang members right away?”Junior dumped a bucket of water on his head. “You mean Triads, not Triangle.”Shorty Stitchhead dumped a bucket of water on his head. “Triangles, Triads, Trick or Treat.The point is, do you want us to start immediately shooting the Chinamen son-of-a-bitches?”“No, I did not say for anyone to start shooting anyone,” Tony B said. He dumped a bucket of water on his head. “I want you all to be on the lookout. But don't shoot anyone, unless you get a directorder from me. Understood?”“Then how's that declaring all-out war on the Chinks?”Bobby the Beak said. He dumped a bucket of water on his head. “I thought all-out war was when you shoot the enemy on sight.”“No, you don't understand,” Tony B said. He dumped a bucket of water on his head. “I wantyou guys to spread the word out on the street. Tell all our guys I'm declaring all-out war on the Chinks.But no shooting until I give the word. No stabbings. No stranglings. No nothing. Get it?”Shorty Stitchhead dumped a bucket of water on his head. “So you're declaring all-out war onthe Chinks, but you don't want us to kill anybody yet.”“Exactly,” Tony B said. He dumped a bucket of water on his head. “But I want the word to getout to everyone. So that when I'm ready to give the order, everyone is ready to react.”Bobby the Beak dumped a bucket of water on his head. “I don't get it. Either we're at war withthe Chinks or we ain't.”“Listen guys, this is pretty simple, “Junior said. He dumped a bucket of water on his head.“We're declaring war on the Chinese gangs, but nobody gets hurt until the time is right. Nobody lifts afinger until then. Got it?”“I think so,” Shorty Stitchhead said. He dumped a bucket of water on his head. “We're at war 

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