Professional Documents
Culture Documents
(CH.1-24)
By:
carmelinagunn
DISCLAIMER:
A) I don’t own any of the characters in the story and I do
not own any rights what so ever to THE TWILIGHT
SAGA in any way shape or form.
B) I did not write this story and I am not claiming to have
written it. I just really loved this story and I felt that it
deserves to be read (I know that sounds pretty cheesy
but what every)
P.S This is a human fanfic for twilight just letting you
know.
And the story begins
Preface
BPOV
"Love is strange.
Love is beautiful.
Love is dangerous.
Love is never what you expect it to be.
Love is hopeless."
I saw him walking down the street with ear buds in, scrolling
through his iPod, completely oblivious to the stares coming
from my car. He was undoubtedly the most beautiful boy, no
person, I had ever seen. And you see a lot of people in
Hollywood. A lot of good looking people, including the two in
the car with me at the time of my discovery of him.
The thing that really got me though, was the hair. Oh that
hair. It was the most amazing bronze color you can imagine
and it was sticking out in every direction, seeming to have a
mind of it's own. He casually ran a hand through it as he kept
focused and kept walking.
Thank God Rose was in the front seat to grab the wheel and
yell at me while Alice giggled in the backseat, muttering
something like "Wow Bella, drool much?". I blushed instantly,
as usual. I wasn't really the type to check people out so
blatantly, but I really had no choice in this case. It was like
time stood still as I stared at him. Threatening the lives of
myself and my two best friends-slash-room mates was
probably the only thing that was strong enough to take my
gaze away from that God of a man.
Wait? Where did these thoughts come from? Did I really just
think the line 'God of a man'?
Not five minutes later there was knock on the bungalow door
and when I opened it there stood Rose announcing she was
ready for our adventure and she hoped I didn't mind that she
had brought along her own bungalow-mate, Alice Brandon.
Alice quickly informed Rose that she knew I wouldn't mind at
all, as if she could see what my reaction would be before I
even had time to have it.
I hadn't been around Alice much before, but she was someone
everyone knew about. She was in the musical theatre program
which was not the one Rose and I were in, so I would never
have a class with her. Alice and I did end up having many
interests in common, even if we executed our enthusiasm for
them very differently.
We pulled into our new parking garage and got out of my car,
me proudly showing off one of the two spots we had, even
though I was the only one of the three of us with a car. I
figured two parking spaces came with every apartment since
the big red jeep parked across the aisle from me took up two
spaces all by itself and no one seemed to have a problem with
it.
As the doors opened I noticed that the elevator was not vacant
like I always wish it to be. Instead it was occupied by two guys
around our age. Two extremely attractive guys. They didn't do
it for me like the God of a ma - I mean other highly attractive
guy I spotted walking down the street just a few minutes
ago... but had I not seen him I would have been stunned by
these two.
One was leaning on the far left wall of the elevator. He was
blonde and seemed to be pretty tall, even when leaning. He
didn't have a large build but he wasn't scrawny by any means.
He had pretty blue eyes and what could only be described as a
movie star face. The other was quite different, yet still
attractive. He was huge in a muscular way. You could tell that
even through his casual clothing. He had dark curly hair and a
presence about him that seemed inviting, despite the fact that
he looked like he could bench press my car.
Alice's little bell of a voice rang out, "we most certainly do!
We're going to see that band in a few weeks actually. In Long
Beach."
Holy crow, where were all these thoughts coming from today?
Maybe Rose and Alice were rubbing off on me after all… even if
only my inner monologue was getting more bold.
She stuck her tongue out at us like a 2 year old and just kept
on pushing. She was tiny but she was not weak by any means.
After a few hours of unpacking and handing Alice decorations
everything was looking great except for one long, white blind
from our sliding glass window that kept falling down. Alice had
climbed up on a chair countless times to snap it back on, but
we had actually found something more stubborn than Alice!
She would snap the blind back into place, jump off the chair,
turn to do something else, and the blind would defiantly break
free and drop to the ground making a taunting "fshhhh" sound
from scraping the glass on the way down. For ten minutes it
went on like that: snap, jump, "fshhh", snap, jump, "fshhh"...
She pulled the check out of her purse and showed it to me.
"You're acting like Rose's parents set up a charity for us, they
are just giving us a house warming present! Please don't ruin
this Bella, we only get to be in this situation once. Let
someone give something to you without feeling guilty for once,
plea-ee-ee-se..." Alice drug out that last word and lifted her
palm higher in the air with a pout on her face. She knows what
the pout does to me.
Rosalie's parents had been very easy to get a long with, and
they had said I would be considered a second daughter had I
ever made it out to visit Rose...
"Oh my gosh!" Alice squealed, "No way! Bella they really did it!
I'd almost forgotten! Not that I could ever really forget that
face, I mean my God, did you see those blue eyes-"
"What are you talking about? What is she talking about?" Rose
looked from Alice to me as Alice grabbed the CD out of her
hand and ran to unpack her stereo and set it up.
"Oh, well when you were getting the mail today Alice and I
met some guys on the elevator. I was apparently having spirit
week and was wearing the same hoodie as one of them so we
all started talking and they told us they were in a band and we
should hear their music. Clearly they weren't lying because I'm
guessing that's the CD they said they would bring over."
"Wait wait wait. You are telling me you met guys on the
elevator and you haven't said anything to me until now?" Rose
tightened her eyes at me.
Uh oh.
"Slipped your minds? These aren't just boys Bella, these are
musicians". With the word "musicians" she made a grand hand
gesture to emphasize to me the importance of it.
I sighed. "I know Rose. I'm sorry. How can I make it up to
you?" You don't mess around with Rose when it comes to
guys. Granted she could get anyone she wanted, but if she
knew she wasn't getting to pick from the whole litter, watch
out...
She let me through the hall to the big windows that faced into
the courtyard. Since we were on the first floor of actual
apartments (the lobby was technically the first floor of the
building) we had a courtyard that all the balconies of the
apartments faced into. This meant that each apartment had
it's own walled in patio area but all the patios were connected
by a bigger cement courtyard area, so all the patios were
practically connected as well.
From where we were you could see into about 2 1/2 different
living rooms through the big sliding glass doors, one directly in
front of us and 2 to either side. As we crouched down I
couldn't stop giggling. Rose was trying very hard to shush me
and I got her elbow in my side many times, but I couldn't help
it. Maybe it's a new nervous habit I was forming.
Slowly my giggles grew contagious and just as Rose started to
silently crack up I gasped. I saw the Greek God from the street
walk through the living room of the apartment we could see
directly into. He was just talking on a cell phone, but instantly
I forgot how to breathe.
Rose was in right after me, the smile still lingering on her face
and we both sat down on the floor next to Alice who was
struggling with the stereo and all it's many wires, the CD right
next to her on the floor.
"Alice let me do that, I'm better with mechanical stuff than you
are" Rose stated as she took Alice's place. "Plus I think Bella is
still in awe from that piece of man we spied on in the
courtyard" she laughed.
"Oh Bella, you found them?" Alice sang as she clapped her
hands excitedly. "Did you see Jasper?" I shook my head. "Oh,
well Emmett then?" I nodded yes. "Yay! Why do you look so
shocked then? Was he in his underwear or something?" she
laughed.
"No! Alice!..." she had managed to break my spell and make
me chuckle a little bit. "I think I know who their brother is.
Um, Edward?" I asked, wondering if she remembered Emmett
mention that name on the elevator. She nodded that she did.
"Well, you remember that guy we saw when I couldn't stop
staring and I almost swerved into oncoming traffic?"
"No way!"
"You saw him?" Rose asked just realizing what I saw that
made me gasp.
"I think so." I said. Then it hit me. That perfect looking boy
was not only living down the hall from me, he was the brother
of people I had met earlier, and actually managed to be
comfortable with in a short amount of time. I could feel the
smile spreading across my face as looked at Alice and she
smiled back.
"You know what this means, right? No matter what God awful
sound that CD produces when we put it in we have to support
that band."
"Bella you don't become friends with people who literally make
you stop breathing. Why do you think Rose has about, um,
zero best friends that are guys?"
Still, they had seemed like pretty fun people. Well Jasper and
Emmett anyway. Edward, which I had taken the liberty of
calling the perfect one after putting two and two together, was
still a mystery to me. But even if he spoke Chinese and did
nothing but sit in the middle of the room I was sure I would
have enjoyed his company. What is wrong with me? I do not
usually think of people in this way. He's not a "piece of man"
as Rose had called Emmett during our spy mission. There had
to be more. Not that I would really be able to find out.
We came back from classes a few days later and Alice had a
very pleased look on her face as she skipped out of her
bedroom and came to greet Rose and I. We were in the same
class again, so we would be arriving and departing together
regularly.
"We got a present!" She said as she pushed a neon green
square shaped paper towards us. I picked it up.
Ladies of 112-
This is our flier for our next show. We told you we'd inform
you when one was booked.
You said you'd be there.
So be there.
"Nice" Rose said as she put her bag down and went into the
kitchen.
"How did you get this Alice?" I asked, flipping it over and
reading the note again.
"It was under our door when I got home, which was only about
10 minutes ago actually. We are so going, right? I mean, we
have to. They clearly want us to. It's going to be so much fun!
So different from hanging out in the cafe like normal
weekends, thank God!"
"No I'm totally fine with going. I love live music, you guys
know that. I'm not going to be afraid of new people anymore,
I've decided."
"No let me!" I handed the pen and paper to Alice and let her
scribble a note on the paper. When she was satisfied she
handed it to me and Rose.
Boys of 110 -
"Nice" is all Rose said again as Alice and I plotted going over
there right away to deliver the note.
"We'll just slide it under the door and knock. It's totally middle
school, and it'll be funny, come on!"
What we got was another note and this time it was directly
from Jasper who we assumed must have been home alone.
There was nothing out of the ordinary except at the bottom it
said "P.S. Tag."
The Underwear Song (our name for it) is such a great song,
and I know Emmett at least would appreciate it. Kind of
suggestive, but on the humorous side, it should definitely liven
things up. It was decided and we went to work on it. At the top
we wrote:
I had to admit it was a fun plan. This way when they opened
their blinds in the morning they would instantly see the
retaliation written out in shoe polish. They probably expected
us to tag before the night was over too, so we also had
suspense on our side since they wouldn't be getting this until
morning.
It didn't take much because the patio walls are only about 3
1/2 feet high. Even Alice didn't have trouble. We had to write
backwards so they could read it when the blinds were opened
in the morning. I wrote "TAG" as big as possible in the middle
of the glass. Rose wrote "bitches" right under it, and Alice
signed it "(heart) 112". We took in our masterpiece for a
second before turning to leave.
"I heard they have a pool up there, have you guys seen it?"
Emmett looked too excited when he said this.
"Um no, we haven't been up there yet. But the spa on the roof
was one of the selling points for us on this building," I said.
I just nodded but never really cared. I was never one for any
activity that had to do with bathing suits, I didn't even own
one at the moment, but I thought of Emmett in a pool and I
just knew it would be entertaining.
"I didn't nearly break the longboard! It's meant to roll isn't it?"
I defended myself
And then Rose shut the door and said "Well I guess we have
plans tonight?"
"Yeah, and you maybe you can have a midnight swim with
your "piece of man" and then come have a 3-way with Ruth"
Alice laughed as she went into her room.
"Maybe" Rose replied with a smile. "But the important thing is
Bella finally gets to talk to her Edward."
"Whatever Bella, I'm just following your lead here. That's all
you've been saying in your sleep ever since you saw him when
we were spying."
Crap.
"Well I had no idea I was doing it and now I'll probably stop
because it makes no sense and I swear if you bring this up
tonight Rose I will kill you!"
I learned a long time ago not to fight them when they decided
to play Bella Barbie. I had finally convinced Alice to let me
wear my own wardrobe to school but anytime we did anything
that involved the public she felt the need to "help" me.
With Alice and Rose's amazing skills we were all ready for the
roof party about 10 minutes early. So there was really only
one thing left to do before we were completely ready to go.
"Dance party!" Alice announced as she turned up "Billy Jean".
Michael Jackson was a very popular dance party kickoff choice.
It was one of our better dance parties and we were only 1/2
way through the song. Alice was on one of the 3 chairs we had
for our small table and I was teaching Rose how to throw the
shimmy. It's very true I cannot dance. That was the beauty of
the dance parties, it wasn't real dancing. Any move that was
entertaining was allowed, so I was completely comfortable
with my two best friends who would also be making foold of
themselves. Thus the
"Shimmy Throw." It's a very complicated move. You have to
have the timing down perfectly. Rose a quick learner so before
I knew it we were throwing the shimmy around to all 3 of us,
our shoulders shaking wildly with every catch only to thrust
our bodies forward towards the next girl that was to "catch"
the shimmy.
It wasn't until the most beautiful voice I had ever heard came
through the screen door, "Jasper, I thought you said the party
was on the roof?" It was immediately followed by the most
musical laugh had ever heard. I turned and there was Edward
standing on our patio looking more like a Greek God than
should be possible. He ran a hand through his impossibly mesy
hair and I just about fell off the chair. Suddenly the only thing
I wanted most in the world was to run my own hand through
that perfect bronze hair. What the heck was this boy doing to
me?
"So are we going up there or not? You guys shut this one down
so we might as well see what we can do for the thing on the
roof, right?" Rose said, moving things along.
"I don't know. What do you think Eddie? The roof doesn't seem
as appealing to me anymore..." Jasper tilted his head back and
smirked at his brother but Edward just said "Don't call me
Eddie please..." and then Alice pulled Jasper out of the chair
and said "Oh no, we are done for the night. The roof has more
to offer anyway. Free food and a pool!"
Excuse me?
Oh. Right. That. "Oh, well that's very perceptive of you. But do
you really think that out of everything involved that night
you're really worring about the right thing here? I mean the
skateboard should be used to danger by now-" but I didn't get
to finish because he had put one finger up to my mouth to
shush me. It worked. He also had a very serious face as he
said:
"By the way I didn't hurt myself at all or think about suing you
for placing that skateboard in a very hazardous place..."
"Longboard Bella."
He put his arm around me leaned down and said quietly "Oh I
can see I have many things to teach you."
"Um, not really, no." She smiled but was still taking in how
prepared he was for his pool time. She looked amused and
slighly impressed.
"I bet I can get you in. All of you!" Emmett said as he looked
at all us girls.
"Yes, your pink, manly raft is quite tempting but I'm pretty
sure I'm not going to change my mind tonight. Night
swimming isn't really my thing." Rose stroked the raft playfully
as she said that making us all laugh.
"Believe me, the raft is not what he was going to use to get
you in" Edward said.
"You wouldn't!" I yelled and hid behind Edward who was the
closest to me. I really do hate swimming.
I heard Alice gasp "Oh my!' and then burst into giggles as
Edward and Jasper backed off and started laughing even
harder.
"You pants me! A girl pants me!" Emmett said still schocked
but the corners of his mouth were definitely rising.
"Anything for a friend" she said and she high fived me.
"No dude" Jasper said keeping his hand at his side and still
chuckling at Emmett being pants by a girl.
Edward just shook his head in shame then held out his hand to
me to help me up.
I had never been so grateful to be on the gound as I took his
hand and stood up. It was so warm and fit mine so perfectly, I
had let go immediatly in fear of holding on too long and then
never being able to let go.
"Oh yeah sorry," Alice said and she pressed the button for the
top floor and we all smushed into the elevator so that 10 of us
and Emmett's very necessary, very pink raft could fit.
"No problem." He smiled at me. "But I'm pretty sure you aren't
his main target anyway, if you know what I mean" and he
nodded his head over to the other side of the elevator where
Emmett was practically leaning on Rose, trying to persuade
her to admit she didn't pants him solely for my benefit.
The roof party was pretty full when we got up there, but not
uncomfortably so. The roof had an amazing view of the whole
city since our aparment building was only one block up from
Hollywood Blvd and about five away from Hollywood and
Highland, one of the last remaining "nice" parts of Hollywood.
The only bad part about the roof party was watching Emmett's
face fall as he saw the pool for what it really was.
"You couldn't even lay your raft down all the way in that"
Jasper said as we gazed down at the 4' x 2' body of water.
"Awe man" Emmett moaned as he let his raft fall to the floor.
Everyone else was silently laughing, but soon we all left the
sad sight and moved on to the rest of the party where we
mingled a bit but mainly stayed together in the group of 6,
getting to know each other better, already feeling more
comfortable with eachother than anyone else.
"I've never met anyone I've connected with that quickly!" Alice
was explaining. "Jasper I think more so than the other 2, but
really all of them on some level. It's kind of weird."
"You know, I was thinking that too." Rose admitted. "And it's
fun being around people other than the ones we've been going
to school with for a so long. That's what we were looking for,
right? And who knew they would be so freaking cute as well"
She smiled at the last part.
I had to agree. The change was nice. I sat down in Ruth (that's
what our blow up chair was now, we had all taken to calling it
that already) and played all my favorite moments of the night
over in my head when I looked up to turn on the TV and I
stopped mid gaze.
"NO WAY! No. Way." She came running out of her room and
yelled at us " Ugh, they got the TV too? Go look in your
bathroom... go now!"
"They got me too! They did my full length! They also left this"
She lifted up an empty can of shaving cream like it was solid
evidence of a haneous crime.
"I didn't know they had it in them" she mumbled and started
laughing.
"But when could they have done it? We were all together at
the party." Alice asked.
"I don't know. I shut the door after everyone was out of the
apartment, I know I was the last one out." I said.
"It was when we were waiting for the elevator" Rose sighed as
she hung up the "TAG" from the TV on the cork board next to
the very first note we received from them, as if to remind us
never to let something like that happen again. "Remember
when Edward and Jasper when to check on Emmett? Guess
what they were really doing."
"Oh man! I'm sorry you guys. Since we were going to stay in
the building I didn't really think about locking the door," Yeah,
that was a better excuse than "Edward was touching me so I
forgot how to breathe or think."
"I will really work on getting in that habit." I did kind of have
problem forgetting. You never needed to lock up the
bungalows after all.
"Ok, freaking cute boys, and now you want to get into the
habit of locking the door? I don't think so." We both started
laughing and I nodded that I understood.
Jasper sat up and rubbed his eyes, "Oh yeah, Emmett loves
Friends. He owns every season." He pointed to the
entertainment center as he said that and sure enough there
was a huge stack of Friends DVD boxes.
In a cold voice Rose responded, "we would love to, really, but
we actually didn't come over to socialize- we just thought one
of you might be needing this.." and she set the shaving cream
down on the counter with a loud clank.
"I tried to get him to just let me eat the batter out of the bowl,
but apparently his precious recepie deserves to 'reach it's full
cooking potential' It's probably because it's the only thing he
knows how to make!" Emmett mocked Edward under his
breath in a very whiny high pitched voice that sounded nothing
like the velvet it really was, but make me giggle none the less.
"Uh oh." Jasper sighed and he threw a blanket over him and
Alice, "This isn't going to end well."
Alice was giggling and Rose was wiping the batter of Emmett's
head as he turned to stand up and walk into the kitchen.
Edward never broke his stare with his brother, but he
immediately started backing into the corner of the kitchen,
spatula and batter bowl raised in defense.
"Ok enough!" Alice was laughing as she yelled at us, and her
and Jasper were on the other side of the kitchen counter with
the pull out spray hose from the sink pointed at those of us in
the kitchen.
"We were very excited about brownies, and now thanks to all
of you Alice and I here are still very unfulfilled in the brownie
department." Jasper stated, still wrapped in the blanket he had
been cowering under.
We left soon after and invited the guys over to Alice's party
the next evening on our way out the door. I had started to
think that nothing we did could be fun without them anymore.
They said they had band practice that would last until about 10
or 11, but they would stop by after that. It was good enough,
and we went back to our apartment to shower and get in bed,
all 3 of us with pretty large smiles on our faces.
The next day was Alice's birthday. We only had the small party
planned with a few friends from school, and of course the
promise of the Cullen brothers after their practice. But you
would not have known that when you walked into our living
room.
"Thank you Bella!" she said when she hugged me from behind
as I walked over and started opening the box and taking out a
bix mixing bowl.
The morning passsed quickly and we got a call from Jacob and
the boys at school saying they would be over around 7 which
worked well for us. Around 3 Rose went to run some errands
and Alice and I were lounging around watching TV when she
had a craving.
"Let's make some! I know you make it really good Bell, I've
had it before. We need it for the party!"
"Ok, but it will be the only food we have besides the cake, we
didn't really buy any party appropriate food you know."
The party started out fun enough. We did indeed have enough
guacamole to feed a small army, which I figured Emmett
would take care of in a matter of minutes after viewing his
eating habits with the brownies.
Jacob, Sam, and Embry arrived around 7:30 along with two
girls Leah and Emily who also went to school with us. We had
all hung out a few times first and second semester, and Rose
and I had our new class with Jacob and Sam so it was pretty
comfortable and fun.
"Yeah they are really starting to get lame this semester" Jake
said then he nudged me, "You guys are really lucky you got
out when you did. It must be nice."
"It is." I agreed. "It's never too late you know, you guys
should really try to get off campus somewhere before we
graduate."
10:30 rolled around and the boys still hadn't shown up after
practice. All of our school guests decided they should head
back. We said goodbye and thanked them for hanging out. It
really was nice talking about the past year at school and all the
new kids and how going to school through the summer didn't
seem that bad.
When the clock hit 11:30 you could feel the mood in the room
drop. We had all really been looking forward to hanging out
with the Cullen boys again. It just always turned out to be so
comfortable and fun. We were all still in the living room and
we decided to wait until midnight before we called it quits and
went to bed.
"Well it's about time!" Alice scolded them as she got up and hit
Emmett in the arm.
"Hey!" Emmett yelled and rubbed his arm, like Alice could
actually do any damage to him.
"Like this." Alice pulled our her cell phone, looked Jasper in the
eye and said "Number?"
"Um..." Jasper looked a bit surprised but told her his number.
She called his phone and when she was satisfied with the
amount of rings she heard she smiled and put her own away.
"Mhm" Rose agreed with Edward. Then she opened the bag,
took out a bright pink plastic sparkely princess crown and
reached up to place it right on top of Emmett's head. She then
handed him a very nice pink sparkely fairy wand. He actually
took it, appraised it, looked at Rose with an amused
expression, and then smiled and said "Pink's always been my
color."
When it was over Alice said "You guys are just fabulous,
really!" and went to put her camera back in her room giggling
the whole way.
"Oh no one, it's just friends from school. Two boys we know
work at the movie theatre and can get people in for free so
they usually let us know in case we want to go. It's pretty nice
actually."
"Oh no, nothing like that!" I laughed. "We all get close at
school but there's no one like that for me. Not at school
especially." and then I kind of giggled. This subject was
starting to make me uncomfortable considering I was sitting
two feet away from the only boy who had done more than that
for me the first day I ever saw him.
"Oh, that's nice though. It's good to have good friends that
don't have that to get in the way of anything." I thought that
statement made me sad beause for the first time in my life I
was thinking friendship might be the one in the way... but then
he said "I know my girlfriend and I were friends for a long time
before we got together."
Oh.
"Her name is Tanya. I've known her for a few years now. Her
family and my family are pretty close. She's back home of
course, but we keep in contact pretty well. She actually got me
this phone before I left, so that it wouldn't be expensive to call
her." He shut the phone but kept it in his hands.
"Oh it's a small town. You've probably never even heard of it.
Forks, Washington?"
He told me about his parents, his mother Esme and his father
Carlisle. "Such interesting names" I said. He laughed and said
they got that a lot. I told him of my parents in Phoenix and
how I missed my mother because I was considerably closer to
her but all in all it wasn't too hard to be away from them.
We talked about their band and our school, our beliefs and
hopes and dreams. We laughed a lot and I even started crying
when I told him about my nana who I was very close to that
passed away the previous year. He hugged me and said it was
really great I had that relationship with her and I should focus
on being greatful for the time I had with her. I instantly felt
better and I knew that I had to take his words and apply it to
my situation with him as well. At least I got to be close to him
as a friend. I would force that to be enough, because it was
already everything.
EPOV
Again.
"Hello."
Chapter 7 - Forever
We were all in fantastic moods the next day. The boys would
be home that night and we wouldn't have to distract ourselves
any longer. I even felt better about my breakdown. I wasn't
convinced it would be the last one I had, but having Edward as
a close friend and having the love and support of everyone
else was making my life the best it had ever been.
I was hanging out with Jake and Sam in the cafe at school
when my phone started ringing.
"Edward Cullen" was right there in the middle of the screen
with a picture I had taken of him in the stupid green princess
crown in the background. I hadn't spoken to him again since
the other day, but we had been texting the whole time. It was
nothing compared to hearing his voice but the fact that we
kept in touch was enough for me.
"Why not? Don't you like it? It's kind of hip, right? Eddie! You
don't hear Edward too much these days, you should really
keep up with the rest of us." I was smiling as I pictured him
roll his eyes at my playfull rant.
"Ok stop! I'll drop "Eddie". Don't be hip if you don't want to.
Just don't be surprised if I ignore you in public sometimes. I
don't want to be known as the girl with the totally out of date
friend."
"I suppose I just like my actual name better. The guys tease
me and call me Eddie every so often because that's what
Tanya started calling me after we started dating. She's the
only one that I let call me that. And only because she won't
not."
"Ok great! Well I have to go but I will definitely see you later
Bella. Bye." Then he hung up and I turned back to Jake and
Sam but I wasn't really listening to them anymore as I just
started watching the seconds tick by on the clock on the wall.
"You're back!" I yelled and ripped my eyes away from his just
so I could let them wander down to his stunning crooked smile
I loved so much.
"Well, let's hear it!" Rose said from under Emmett who was
protecting her from Alice and Jasper's pillow war that had
started. Alice didn't have the best aim and her pillow's were
now strewn all across her room.
We all got up from the couch as Emmett said "What?" with and
innocent look macaroni in his mouth and he followed behind us
into their room.
Half of the room was pretty clean and that's the side Jasper
was on with his bag open on the air mattress closest to the
door.
And then there was the other side of the room. The mattress-
bed was unmade which wasn't a big deal, I often failed to
perform that task as well. But there were piles of clothes and
there were shoes and a few books and magazines, a Starbucks
hat and apron, loose change, and even a baseball mit covering
the floor on Emmett's half of the room.
Right next to the bed was what Jasper had called us in to see:
there were four or five empty tupperware bowls with utensils
still in them just laying next to the mattress. They were all
empty, but clearly not clean.
I was still smiling when I realized I had followed him into his
room and he was taking the charger out of my hand and just
threw it on the bed next to his seemingly dead phone. I tried
to take in every detail of his room while he continued to
unpack and I sat down on the bed next to his bag.
There were some fliers on the wall for various bands and a
small dresser he was putting clothes into that had pictures and
some pocket change and a few guitar picks on the top.
"I can only imagine" I said quietly as I really did imagine and
wish visiting there someday. Again, as if he could hear my
thoughts he said "You should really see it someday."
Edward had just finished packing and threw his empty bag into
the closet and then sat crossed legged on the bed next to me.
He moved the phone and charger on the other side of him, still
not plugging it in.
"So, you really do like the CD? You won't hurt my feelings if
you think there's too much belt," he smiled his crooked smile
and I was almost mad at him for making me happy instantly
because of it.
I smiled back and said "I love the belt and I love the CD,
honestly."
His smile got bigger and he flopped down and stretched out on
the bed and said, "I love being back. I was going crazy there.
Recording was great, but being trapped in that room with
those 2 for 5 days was wearing on me." He closed his eyes and
ran a hand through his hair. It's like he was teasing me on
purpose.
"At least it was worth it. And at least you had something
productive to do. We really missed you guys, you can't
imagine how boring it was here just waiting for you to come
back."
I'm not sure if I should be so forward about missing them that
much but I didn't care as much as I normally would because I
was concentrating on not looking at the part of his stomach
that was showing from his shirt stretching up after he laid
down so suddenly.
"I didn't want to disturb the recording artists or run the risk of
getting annoying. When you get sick of me it's going to be
hard roping someone else in to help me annoy everyone at all
the free movies."
He was laughing quietly and had laid his head back down with
his eyes closed and he simply said "I will never be sick of you
Bella, you are stuck with me for life."
"Eh, it's more of a fort. It's not much, I know, but it's all I've,
well now we've, got. I hope you don't mind."
"Bella!"
"Really? Where?"
We went into the living room and I noticed that the apartment
was empty. Edward didn't say anything about the lack of our
friends and family, he was just grabbing blankets off of Jasper
and Emmett's air mattress beds and then went into the small
closet out side their room and pulled more out, so I didn't say
anything either. They were probably just at our place anyway.
I knew we were acting like 5 year olds but with Edward it
didn't matter.
Edward took the tall lamp out of his room and that stood in the
middle of the room making the fort tall enough for me to stand
in if I stood right next to the lamp. We had taken up pretty
much every blanket in their apartment and you could not get
anywhere in the living room or to Edward's bedroom without
crossing through the fort.
Again, it was juvenile and we knew it, but for some reason it
made us laugh even harder. Once in the fort we took an official
vote and decided that if the others asked nicely we would let
them in despite the clearly posted sign forbidding them
entrance.
We opened the door and no one was in the living room but all
the lights were on. That's odd. I finally heard Rose giggling
from our bedroom and Edward threw me a look that told me
he heard it too.
I opened the door and walked in. Edward just leaned against
the door frame and smiled at Rose and Emmett who were
sitting up on her bed, both leaning against the wall side by
side. Emmett was smiling a huge goofy grin and Rose was
smirking.
"Hey where are Jasper and Alice?" The door to her room was
open and the lights in there were off, so I knew they weren't in
there "hanging out" like Rose and Emmett.
"Probably on the roof or something." Rose said. She sounded
kind of impatient which made me laugh inside.
"Oh ok. You two have fun hanging out. In the bedroom. By
yourselves. On the bed..." I said this as I walked into the living
room and over to a smiling Edward who was holding the door
open for me. I heard the door to our bedroom shut quickly
behind me.
I'm not too sure why but we krept up and peaked into the
room. I think we both just felt wrong disturbing them. Alice
was up on a dryer sitting crossed legged and Jasper was
leaning against the window on the dryer next to her with his
legs stretched out and crossed in front of him.
Alice was smiling at him in a way I've never seen before. I was
caught up in observing them when I felt Edward grab my
elbow and gently pull me away from the laundry room.
We didn't say anything until we got safely back into the boys
apartment and Edward shut the door.
"Are you ready for some serious fort time?" I asked seriously
as I held back the blanket that was acting as a door.
"I just need to grab some things for us to do during our time in
the fort. Do you think you can... hold down the fort while I'm
gone?" He was trying really hard to look serious as he held
back laughing at the incredibly cheesy joke he just made.
"Oh yeah. You know the 3rd song on the new CD? He wrote
that one about her, after it happened. It's where I got my
whole bitterness theory that I told you about the other day.
They got back together for a bit a few months after it
happened... he really did love her and thought they could work
past it. But she couldn't stand being at shows and hearing the
song knowing it was about her. And every time we play it he
remembers everything very clearly. Eventually it just got too
hard since the trust never came back between them. He hasn't
dated at all since."
"Wow." was all I could say. I still felt really bad for Jasper.
Edward let out a little laugh suddenly and said "Then there's
Emmett and Rosalie hanging out in the bedroom." We both
started laughing. "Emmett's never done anything subtly in his
entire life."
"It's cute as well in it's own way. He cares about her. I think
he's surprised she actually responded positively to him. He
talks about her all the time. Sometimes it's annoying but I
don't think Jasper and I can say anything about it because we
are the same way."
"Wait, you and Jasper talk endlessly about Rose too? I know
brothers should share but geeze..." joking always made it
easier for me to get things out of Edward without having to
show my real emotions.
"Ha ha, no. We're like that with all of you I guess. Clearly we
all have our favorites." When he said that he leaned into me
and nudged my should with his own.
"Yes I do."
"This?"
"What then?"
"I can see why Esme loves it so much. It's really great
Edward." I finally managed to say.
"I'm glad you think so." He smiled down at his hands and
played for a bit longer then ended the song. Then he looked
me right in the eyes and gave me a slightly smoldering look. It
actually looked like he was trying to hold back an emotion.
What was it?
I got it after he said the first five words. Uncle Jesse. Full
House. Mary Kate and Ashley. Alice's chest... there goes the
blush.
"Ok, you caught me. I didn't exactly write that song for you,
but it does remind me of you in a way. It's the first thing I
learned to play on the piano when I was younger so
sometimes I play it just because it's always been with me. I
was playing it to warm up the other day and I realized that the
first line made me think of you, since to me it seems like we
are constantly laughing when we are together. Almost as if
that's the whole reason we even talk to each other."
Stop it Bella.
"I agree. I've laughed more in the last 2 weeks than probably
ever before. I'm glad you dedicated that song to me." He
looked satisfied and just started playing something that was
soft and pretty and I couldn't hold back a yawn.
"I think we should hold out on the movie and get some sleep. I
was just about to do the same." Edward said as he put the
keyboard back on it's side of the fort. "But don't think I won't
make you watch that movie as soon as possible." He pointed a
finger at me and I laughed.
"What about you?" The couch was big enough for two, right?
Ah, stop it Bella.
"I've got a nice comfy piece of floor picked out," he rubbed his
hand on the ground next to him and smiled sincerely at me.
"I cannot sleep in my bed and leave you in the fort alone! And
I'm fairly sure you do not want to go back to your own
apartment and listen to Emmett and Rosalie hang out all night,
do you?"
"Very well then. We agreed to stay in the fort and in the fort
we shall stay. I don't mind the floor Bella, honestly. I actually
prefer the floor. Most nights I don't even look at my bed, I just
pull the comforter off and curl up right next to it." He flashed
his crooked smile at me and looked me in the eyes.
Umm...ok...
"You really shouldn't have said that." An almost evil yet still
stunning smile spread across his face and I got nervous and
choked out "Edward..." in the most warning tone I could
muster.
"That was so not fair Edward," I said with fake anger that was
obviously not convincing at all because I was still laughing. My
insides were singing with the sensation of his touch.
"Good night Bella." his voice was so soft and sweet. It melted
me.
"I hope you don't snore too loud..." he added in with a little
laugh.
I woke up the next day to: "What the hell is all this?"
Rose stuck her head in and looked around. I saw her take in
our very apparent and very safe sleeping arrangement. We've
been good, no need to worry, I thought to myself.
Alice crawled right in when she got there and from then on we
announced the rules had changed and we tossed the sign
aside.
The girls and I hung out in our living room watching TV and
catching up as we waited for the boys to get home from
practice. We gossiped about all we had learned about them so
far.
"That's sweet Alice, but why the laundry room?" Rose asked.
"Awe," I said. I couldn't even help it. "I don't know why that's
so cute, but it is!"
"Well, you can't hold back from me! Tell me what you know!" I
tried to sound excited and gossipy rather than scared.
"Jasper feels like she's changed too." Alice chimed in. "His
theory is that Edward just doesn't realize there are better
options out there, because Forks is such a small town and you
pretty much know everyone you are going to know your whole
life. Why not settle down with someone if you aren't planning
on leaving and meeting new people anyway? He told me that
Edward's the most skeptical about things working out for them
here in LA so that's why he's holding on so strongly to home.
That's the theory at least."
"Well they are out of Forks now, so he will see the light," Rose
said hopefully and looked at me.
"It doesn't matter you guys, the fact is they are still together
right now, and he still loves her." I said it more confidently
than I thought I would be able to. I was going to pay for this
later though, when I was alone.
"Actually they aren't doing too good right now." Alice quietly
said.
"Well they got into a bit of a fight the last day they were in
Riverside recording," She explained.
"We just thought you might want to know," is all Rose said.
That night the boys announced their return home from practice
with Emmett running in and demanding a rematch of Grape
Toss. Jasper followed in after him but Edward was no where to
be found.
I grabbed the grapes from the freezer and everyone took their
place around our living room for their part in the game.
We did even better than we had the first time, but still not
good enough. After Emmett got tired of focusing we started to
compete with each other to see how many grapes we could
catch in our own mouths by throwing them up ourselves.
Jasper was surprisingly good, but in the end Rose won and she
curtsied as we applauded her skills.
I don't know who brought it up but soon it was decided we
were going to have a Coffee Party. Emmett wanted to show us
all he had learned at Starbucks and we decided to watch a
movie at our place, since the fort was still taking over their
living room and Edward was still on his oh-so important phone
call.
The boys left and we changed into PJs for the movie and
Coffee Party. They returned about 15 minutes later each with a
pot of coffee and a hand full of mugs and creamer.
"You know it," he winked and went right into the kitchen to set
down the coffee and mugs. He seemed happy enough. What
did that say about the conversation he had been having for the
last 2 hours?
Jasper sat in the bowl chair once again and this time Alice
curled up right next to him. Emmett let Rose have Ruth and he
leaned up right against her, leaning on her legs. Edward and I
took the far right side of the room and I grabbed some pillows
and the comforter off of my own bed and we laid on our
stomachs with the blanket over us, each of us resting our
elbows on the pillows in front of us.
Before the movie started Edward turned to me and leaned his
head down and said, "Bella feel how soft my hair is."
I swallowed hard. I didn't know what to do. This was the one
thing I had been dreaming about ever since I first laid eyes on
him walking down the street.
"I'm very happy for you and your soft hair Edward." I smiled
back at him. He laughed and ruffled my hair and then turned
to the TV.
Towards the end of the movie I was still highly entertained but
noticed it got really quiet and I looked around to see everyone
but Rosalie and I had fallen asleep. These people really had a
tough time making it through movies. It probably had
something to do with the insane sleeping schedule we were all
taking on.
"Bella did you just fall asleep sitting up?" An amused velvet
voice whispered next to me.
"At least I lasted through the whole movie unlike some people
I know." He chuckled and yawned.
"I've had a long day. And I didn't get to sleep right away last
night because someone get's rather chatty..."
"We've been on and off, I guess you could call it, for a few
years now. Well, more on than off... Sometimes I pull away
from her. I feel myself doing it and I feel bad each time. My
family tells me I just over think things."
He paused again and shook his head slightly and spoke even
more softly than he had been when he continued this time.
"We were sitting in the back of Emmett's jeep on the way to a
show when I told her we had decided to move here for at least
a year. That was only two weeks before we actually left." He
looked up at me. "Have I told you that yet? That we left that
quickly?"
All I could do was reach over and pat his arm reassuringly. His
story was actually making me sad. For her.
"I met up with Tanya when it was finally time to leave and we
walked out to my car and got in. It was silent for almost the
whole ride to her house. I felt her start to say something a few
different times, but she never said anything. I didn't know how
to start apologizing. I looked over at her and she had tears
running down her face. I couldn't look at her any longer so I
turned my head back to the road and felt hopeless."
"Then... she just reached over and took my hand. She was still
silently crying but with that gesture I knew that she had
forgiven me, or at least started to." He looked down at his
pillow again. "She didn't come say goodbye the morning we
left but we talked that night on the phone as we were driving
down here. We decided to try the whole long distance thing,
knowing it would be hard. And it is. But I hurt her so bad
already, I feel like I owe her all the fight I have in me."
"It's... nice. You will have it someday Bella, I know you will.
It's hard and makes you feel crazy a lot of the time, but when
you find someone who is worth it you make it through and you
stick with them. That's what I honestly believe. That's why I
was on the phone for so long tonight. We had a lot of things to
work through and I think we really did. Someday someone will
be lucky enough to deserve the right to work hard for you
too." I could see him smiling but we still weren't looking at
each other.
All I wanted to do was tell him that I would never find anyone
that would be that special to me because I would always want
him the most. I wanted to make him see me the way he sees
Tanya. I wanted to be beautiful and charming and have a hold
on him just like she does. It wasn't fair. None of it was fair.
"Bella what are you thinking? I can never tell." He was looking
at me now but I just closed my eyes and shook my head.
"Oh Bella don't say that." He sounded truly concerned and sad
now. He put his arm around me and I melted when he pulled
me into him in a simple hug.
"I am always here for you Bella, I hope you know that. I don't
want you to feel badly about yourself. I love you and I want
you to be happy. You are one of my closest friends already and
I need you to be happy, please." The sadness in his voice was
killing me. I never wanted to hear it in him again and I needed
to cure it right away.
Then I cried at the painful truth of his love for Tanya and the
fact that I would never be her. I ached when I thought of all
the blame he put on himself for hurting her. I cried harder at
the fact that it was too late for me, I was falling in love with
him, and I was falling alone.
After that night things stayed less intense and continued pretty
normally. Well, normally for our odd little family, which is what
I decided we had become.
Jasper and I even bonded over our love for Lord of the Rings
one day. He is very into to movies with any sort of epic battle
and I am very drawn to fantasies, so it's the perfect
combination for us. We spent an entire day lounging around
their apartment napping and discussing the ins and outs of
Middle Earth, just him and I.
About once a week Rose would crawl in bed with me and hold
me as I cried myself to sleep, whispering reassurances in my
ear. Sometimes Alice and I would retreat up to the roof and I
would scarf down Reese's Pieces (my comfort food) and she
would put her arm around me as I cried silently and listed off
all the reasons I needed him and why I couldn't be without
him.
Well, except for one night in about the middle of July, but it
wasn't anything that serious, just a joke.
The boys had taken off for the night. One of their friends from
Forks had ended up in Los Angeles too. I think they said his
name was Eric and he was working as a graphic artist
somewhere.
They had been gone all night, and it was fine, but a little
boring.
Edward and I were close enough now that calling him to bug
him about when they would be home was expected, even more
so than Rose or Alice calling Jasper or Emmett to bug them.
Edward and I were constantly doing that to each other now
when the other was in school, or rehearsal, or work. The only
activity that was off limits was band practice. That I had to
wait out.
"I'm sooooo good Bellarina!" And then he broke into the song
he "wrote" me and all I could hear were booming "DO-DO-DO
DO DO DO's" and Edward making annoyed sounds and then
Jasper yelling.
Then I heard, "Hey Eddie, tell your wife that you'll be home
soon then get off the phone so we can turn the music back
up!" I could tell he was trying to use a normal volume, but I
still heard every word Emmett said.
"I don't know..." Edward mumbled into the phone for only me
to hear and then he said louder, "Emmett I'm speaking to Bella
right now-"
"I don't know. Bella, when do you want to have the wedding?"
I could hear the smile.
"He's not going to tell Alice what?" Alice was suddenly behind
me with her hands on her hips.
Edward said, "Uh oh Jazz, Alice heard you." Then they both
laughed.
"Hi ALICE!" Emmett yelled and both Alice and I jumped a bit at
the extreme volume of his greeting.
Alice was unreadable for a second and then a huge smile broke
across her face and she yelled into the phone, "That's great,
but I get to pick out his dress!"
The only hard part was watching all the random girls drool all
over them.
The crowds weren't that big but they formed a small following
and even started playing regularly with another band.
That's when things got shaken up a bit for the first time in the
past 2 months. It was sometime around the end of July when
we consistently saw the same four faces at shows.
Mike and Tyler were complete goofballs and they were pretty
nice guys, but a little on the annoying side. The Cullens loved
them though, so we tolerated them because it's not like they
were mean or anything, just not our first choice in friends.
The two girls were Angela and Jessica. They were very sweet
and very pretty. Not stunning like Rosalie and Alice, but pretty
enough to get attention. They were funny as well, and I'm
pretty sure I would have liked them a lot more right away if it
wasn't for the fact that the Cullens liked them a lot too. Right
away.
It's not like any of the guys were hitting on Angela or Jess.
There wasn't even any touching or anything. It was just the
amount of attention that they gave them that was utterly
bothersome.
"It's just because they are new and exciting. It will fade. We
just have to wait it out." Rose said confidently from beside me
as we heard Jess give a loud laugh and saw Emmett smiling at
her as he tackled Jasper right in front of her. I looked at Rose
and she raised her eyebrows at me and looked very annoyed.
Soon the boys started to invite Jess, Angela, Mike and Tyler
over to our places after shows, and that's when things got a
little better. It was more casual when we were on our own turf
and the boys attention was spread out more evenly.
I even got a chance to have a conversation with Angela and
Jessica out on the patio one night and it turns out I liked them
both a lot.
We had tied them now and I was holding the one small grape
in my hand that would put us back on top if I released it and
Emmett successfully caught it. I actually felt nervous.
The cheers that erupted after Emmett caught the grape were
so loud I was afraid we were going to get in trouble for noise
violations from the neighbors. I ran across the room and got
scooped up by Emmett as we celebrated our amazing Grape
Toss skills and standing championship title.
"Hey Tyler come here." I heard Edward yell across the room
since it was still fairly loud in the apartment from the fading
celebration. He sounded incredibly serious, especially over all
the happy sounds coming from the rest of the room.
They weren't around terribly often, and they didn't feel like the
family that the 6 of us felt like, but we had fun watching
movies and frequently breaking into sing a longs with them in
our apartments after shows.
Jasper finally kissed Alice! It took a long time but she said it
was worth it. It was in the laundry room, the place they
retreated to almost every night now, and it was all Alice could
talk about the next day.
Every once in a while they would hold hands and even more
seldom there would be a peck goodbye here or there, but
other than that they were very private about being physical.
All you really had to do was see them look at each other,
though, and you felt like you were invading the most intimate
moment possible.
Mike and Tyler were over. It was after a show and Edward,
Alice and I were in our apartment watching The Emperor's
New Groove because Edward and I had both been dying to
watch it, and thankfully Alice owned it. All the others were
hanging out at the boys apartment not wanting to watch a
movie.
Well, all of the others except for Rosalie and Emmett who were
once again "hanging out" in our bedroom.
We had just sat down and started the movie with plates of
french fries Edward had asked me to cook up as a movie
snack. Edward and I were on the floor sharing a plate with our
now normal set up of my comforter and pillows and Alice was
in Bertha right next to us.
Bertha Flashback
One night Emmett was demonstrating his "love" for Ruth, yet
again, causing all of us to choke on our dinner in laughter
when he got a bit too exuberant and popped her.
This night was a few weeks after that and we were just getting
into the movie when Mike burst into our living room and made
the "Shhh" gesture with his finger over his mouth and krept
over to us.
Edward and I followed her and sure enough you could see right
into our patio and living room. The blinds were closed to Rose
and I's bedroom but the lights were on.
It really was hilarious. Mike had the camera and made more of
a show out of it than he needed to, but we enjoyed it all the
same.
"Yes, you actually have to leave, but the sooner you leave the
sooner we can get this over with and hang out again," he said
mostly to me but also so the others could hear. That sounded
good enough to me.
"Oh shoot I forgot my phone over there!' Alice said. "I have to
go get it."
"I'll go too." Rose stated and started walking after her.
"Me too." I agreed and sped off after them. We were pretty
pathetic at this point.
We got to the door and Rosalie turned the nob to open it and
just walk in like usual. Neither door was ever locked so when it
didn't open and just clunked against the door frame Alice ran
right into Rose's back and I ran right into Alice which caused
me to fall over.
"Why is the door locked?" Rose asked with a little bit of venom
in her voice.
Alice and I both smiled and agreed and ran to put on our
pajamas and make popcorn. Edward had gotten us into the
habit of always having a movie snack.
I was even having fun with the chick flick that night. We
"awed" at the right spots, giggled at the stupid jokes, and we
all even sort of cried at the part where the inevitable hardship
occurred.
Clunk.
Clunk. Clunk.
Clunk.
Pause.
The amount of laughter that burst out of Rose and Alice and I
was deafening. We were already acting crazy as it was.
Then from the other side of the door we heard Edward go,
"What?"
"We are having girl's night." Rose cut in. Alice nodded
confidentially beside the boys and I faithfully nodded along
with them, but it clearly wasn't my first choice now that I knew
Edward was free.
After Edward shut the door behind him Alice came and sat
down and said "So, we're going to finish the movie and then
go over there, right?"
20 minutes later the movie was over and we were wiping real
tears from our eyes. Girl's night was really getting to me and I
needed to get out of there fast.
He was just laying on his bed with his eyes closed listening to
music when I opened the door. I laid down next to him on the
bed, being extra careful not to touch him and send my insides
into wild fits of happiness, and a smile spread across his face.
"How was girls night?" he said pronouncing the last 2 words
extra sarcastically without opening his eyes.
"Oh." It was all I could say. 2 weeks would have been really
hard but I knew that I could have barely made it. A whole
month though? I was not prepared for being without him for a
month. Nor was I prepared for what he said next.
"Well the tour itself is probably about 2 weeks. The rest of the
time we are going to be in Forks spending time with our
friends and family for a bit."
And Tanya. That was the only thing I heard even though he
didn't even say it. To me this tour was actually just 2 weeks
for him to be with Tanya.
It was even worse when I thought about him not only being
away from me but being with her. He wouldn't even miss me.
He would be with the woman he loved and then when he
returned he would be sad that he had to leave her and come
back to me. It was too much to think about.
He chuckled at that and I didn't argue and tell him that none
of that was important to me anymore. I just nodded and held
myself together. I'd gotten very good at holding everything in
until I was on the roof or in my bed. I would probably need
both Alice and Rose tonight.
"Oh well, we'll just have to celebrate when you get back," I
smiled at him and felt very satisfied when his eyes returned to
his normal beautiful emeralds void of sadness.
We were silent after that and I felt myself slipping into sleep
right there on his bed next to him.
After the girls and I discussed the sad news the next day no
one ever really discussed it again as September 3rd
approached. I believe they call that denial.
The boys had a show on September 1st and Alice was acting
extra Alice-y the whole day. I just figured she was masking the
sadness she felt at being without Jasper for the approaching
month so I didn't think too much of it.
"Bella!" She called from her room about 2 1/2 hours before we
had to go to the show.
"Get over here, I have to start getting you decent for the show
tonight," she was laughing but I knew she was not joking.
I walked over to her room. "Alice it usually only takes you and
hour to do your dirty work. We still have over 2 until we have
to leave."
"I know but I want to start early tonight!" She said excitedly
and then pointed at me and then at her bathroom indicating
that's where I was supposed to go. So we're back to that, are
we?
The show was another really fun one. Jess, Angela, Mike and
Tyler were there even though they weren't playing that night.
After the boys played we all hung out for the rest of the show
as usual and Emmett was inviting a lot of people over to the
apartments after. By now we just assumed Mike and all of
them were coming over, but we never really branched out past
that.
"It's only 2 blocks away from our apartment, can't you wait?" I
asked her. I was anxious to get back and hang out. Even
though we weren't talking about it I was very aware that my
pre tour time with Edward was limited and I didn't want to
waste any of it.
"Just do it, she's had a rough night," Rosalie said under her
breath.
So I pulled into the damn 7-11 and watched Alice saunter in,
take her sweet time assessing 3 different bottles of water
before deciding on one, and finally pay for it and leave the
store. When she got back in my car she just threw the water
bottle in the seat next to her and said, "All right, let's go!"
Seriously?
"SURPRISE!"
He smiled too and leaned into me and replied, "I know you do
but Alice really wanted to do this for you before we all left so
we couldn't say no."
"That's really nice and all but I don't even know half of these
people."
Now Alice and Rose had entered and were retelling how they
had managed to keep the secret all week and stall me a bit
tonight and people were still smiling and waving at me
standing behind them.
"Emmett got a little carried away at the show. All he knew was
Alice wanted it to be a real party with a good amount of
people, not just a regular night." Edward explained into my
ear. The volume had gotten louder so his face was incredibly
close to mine now.
Alice and Rose were finished telling their story and people
were laughing and putting all of their attention back on me.
The boys' place really did look great. Alice had recycled a few
decorations from her own party and there were streamers and
birthday greetings everywhere around the little living room
and kitchen.
Edward played along and hugged me tight and said "I won't
leave your side the entire night if it will make things better."
When he pulled away I nodded and smiled and he nodded and
smiled back. He dutifully put his arm back around my
shoulders and I let the crowd swallow me with my Edward by
my side giving me strength.
They pulled out a cake 10 minutes later. Alice and Rose were
very proud that they managed to put it together without me,
and that really did make me smile.
There was an audible gasp from Rose, Alice, and Jasper behind
me, and most prominently from Edward pinned next to me. He
looked at me with a very shocked expression and I met him
with a very satisfied smirk of my own.
Alice, Jasper, Angela and Jess followed us and Rose said she
was going to wait for Emmett to finish off the cake but they
would probably be over soon as well.
"It smells like strawberries," he smiled. His hair was still very
wet and it was a different look than when it was dry but I was
drawn to it just as much. I watched one of the strands drip
onto his forehead and I nodded that I was aware of the smell
of my own shampoo.
I put my hands in his hair (I used any excuse I could find) and
gently pushed him away and scoffed then turned and sat on
the floor. He chuckled and went back into the bathroom to dry
his hair a little more.
Rose filed in after the congo line and looked slightly annoyed
as even more people poured in behind her. She stood at the
door and held it open as about 40 strangers took places
around our living room and patio.
Edward, Alice, Jasper and I had all gotten up and been pushed
towards Alice's bedroom. Angela and Jess had stayed where
they were and they were now beginning to watch a Queen
DVD Tyler had brought over and started playing.
"You'll definitely have to pull out classy tricks like that at our
wedding," Edward joked. I smiled hugely as I usually did when
he kept up that particular joke.
We just sat on Alice's bed for a while hiding from the party.
Emmett came in a little while later with Rose right behind him.
"Angela and Jess promised me they would keep the control out
there," she breathed as she climbed over everyone and laid
down next to Alice.
"If only she was here to share the moment with us." Emmett
almost sounded like he was sleep talking he was so groggy
now. I felt Rose shift on the other side of him and sternly ask,
"Who are you talking about Emmett?"
EPOV
As we all lay on Alice's over sized bed I was fairly sure I would
be the only one not sleeping within the next 5 minutes.
I closed my eyes again and let out a slight moan as I ran both
my hands through my hair this time at the next thought.
My over thinking is how things always get so complicated with
Tanya. Why can't I just be normal for her? I believe I owe her
that much. If I could just get out of my head for 2 seconds and
relax we probably wouldn't still be as distant as we had been
since before I left. I'm trying to make things right. Every
conversation is focused on that. I owe it to her. I will fix this.
It seems Bella has fallen asleep and the show was about to
begin... I smiled slightly to myself as I was brought back to
the world where I didn't have to over think anything.
BPOV
I got up and opened the door to see Edward holding a very full
garbage bag. He looked over and smiled at me. "Good morning
sleepy head," he said and I wasn't awake enough to do
anything but smile back and be entirely too happy he was the
first person I saw that day.
Alice was in the kitchen doing dishes with Jasper and I found
out Rose and Emmett were supposed to be in the boys'
apartment cleaning up that mess, but so far it had been a
while since anyone went to check on them, and now no one
wanted to in fear of what they might interrupt.
The whole day we were all very aware that the boys would be
leaving the next morning, and all of our moods reflected it.
We still didn't really speak about it except once when Alice said
"We should have a goodbye breakfast together!" and we all
agreed that it was a good idea. They needed to be on the road
by 10am in order to get to Vegas at a decent time, so we
decided to get up at 7 to start breakfast, that way we had
enough time for goodbyes.
The boys packed all day and I hung out in Edward's room most
of the time not really saying much as he was filling up the
silence with many details about his life in Forks (excluding
Tanya, thank God). I learned all about his father being a
doctor, more of their lovely house on their giant piece of
property, and his most prized possession aside from his piano:
his shiny silver Volvo that he was very sad to leave behind
when they moved.
Eventually we all moved out into the living room where Friends
was faithfully playing. Once Jasper was done packing he came
out as the last one to join the group, with Alice trailing behind
him, the pout threatening to overtake her face any second
now. We decided to walk down to Mel's Diner to get some
dinner and a change of atmosphere for what Emmett deemed
"The Not-So-Last Last Supper".
By the time we were walking home our spirits had lifted and it
felt like any other night. We got back we went back to our
place and Alice turned on some music and when Love Shack
randomly came on it turned into a small dance party in the
living room.
I decided to stick with honesty, "The look you had on your face
the other night when I smeared cake in your hair." The
memory made me smile smugly to myself.
"Still proud of yourself are you?" He asked lightly but I saw his
eyes narrow.
"You know if it had been any other occasion but your birthday
party I wouldn't have let you get away with that."
"Oh please! I got you really good. Don't even pretend you let
me win." I was amused at his arrogance.
"No way, I am stronger and faster than you and I was only
being nice." Now he was smirking and I was slightly annoyed.
I wasn't prepared for this. No, not right now! I'm too tired to
control my emotions right now...
"And faster! You're also faster than me!" I gasped for air this
time and he was chuckling at me but he stopped because he
had gotten what he wanted. I let my body go limp in relief.
I felt him laugh beside me. "You know me too well. Yes, I was
going to ask just that."
"Why?" So was I.
"It's not important. I'm just going to miss you, that's all." He
always got the truth from me. At least the most I could tell
him.
"Yeah for about 8 hours. Then you'll be in Las Vegas with your
friend, and then you'll be on the road meeting new people and
playing shows. Then you'll be back in Forks with your family
and your...Forks friends." Opps. I almost said "your Tanya".
That would have been a dead give away of my ever building
jealousy of the 2 weeks she was about to spend wrapped in
the arms I dreamed of every night.
I sniffed a little and spoke into his chest, "I can't help it. I'm
totally pathetic, and I know it, but I'm just... ugh."
"Can you look at me?" he asked and I could hear the smile in it
like I always could.
"You are my best friend. You have made living here one of the
best experiences of my life, and I adore you for that. I know
that us going on the road and meeting new people and going
back home to our friends seems intimidating, but it's just part
of our lives. I am so used to meeting people at shows and
having to form a bond with them instantly because we need
people to feel close to us. It's not fake by any means, but it's
easy to mistake having a few honest moments with someone
for having a true bond with them. Please don't think it's the
same thing here, Bella. What we all have here can never be
taken away from us, it is real. And what you and I have
between us can never be duplicated and can never be
replaced, no matter how far apart we are from each other or
how many people I meet at shows."
He reached his hand out to the side and could reach the light
switch that controlled the party lights and flipped it off.
Apparently he was content in the chair for now, and it was the
only place in the world I wanted to be at that moment.
"I feel the same. About you, I mean. You've become the best
friend I've ever had and I can't imagine my life without you."
It felt good to tell him that much of my emotions for him. It
was even better to know I wasn't alone in those at least.
Then he reached over and took my hand in his and that's how
we fell asleep, side by side, closer than we had ever been,
neither of us knowing it was the last real night we would spend
together as best friends.
Chapter 13 - Last Chance to Loose Your Keys
The most prominent thing I could smell was the most heavenly
sweet scent I had ever smelt, and it was very familiar to me. I
smiled.
Edward.
Bacon?
I opened my eyes.
I was curled into him with my head on his shoulder and the
dark maroon zip up he had been wearing the night before was
over me like a blanket.
The kind things he said, the way he let me hold him as tight as
I could, the way we fell asleep with our hands clasped
together. I smiled to myself as I remembered all that.
"Oh you're right I forgot," she said quickly again, still pulling
me, "Rose I trust you - come help us," she yelled over her
shoulder.
Rose got into the room right after we did and shut the door.
Alice literally pushed me onto her bed and they both stood
over me.
"Oh please Bella, we walk into the living room to you and
Edward all snuggled up in the chair together and you expect us
to believe you have nothing to tell us?" Rose said as she folded
her arms.
"Ok, yes, I can see how that may imply something if the
situation was different, but you guys know it's not different so
drop it. We were in the middle of a conversation and fell
asleep. That's it. End of story." I folded my arms to emphasize
the finality of my statement. It was close enough to the whole
story anyway.
Alice turned back into her perky self and sat down next to me
as she linked her arm into mine and let her head fall onto my
shoulder.
"You really should have seen how cute you two were though, I
almost took a picture but Jasper wouldn't let me." She rolled
her eyes and I smiled back at her trying to picture Edward and
I still in the chair and Jasper holding Alice back from running
to get her camera. It was indeed a happy thought.
The breakfast they made was good and went by much too
quickly, thanks mostly to Emmett of course. We all ate and
talked as if it was any other day until the last piece of food was
gone and the boys had to start packing up the jeep.
This was at 8:58. One hour and 2 minutes before the jeep was
scheduled to depart.
"Don't find another Grape Toss partner while I'm gone sister,"
Emmett was warning me as he squeezed me as tightly as ever.
"I'll call all the time to bug you Bella, don't worry. I won't let
you miss me." He laughed but his voice was soft.
"You better. Or you know I'll just fill up your voice mail with
pointless stories about how I have to pass my time without
you." I warned into his shoulder.
"Only a month." Is all he said back and he buried his face into
my hair.
I squeezed a little tighter and took in his scent one last time,
letting it fill my head and heart promising myself I wouldn't
forget anything about it in the next month and 3 days.
He let his hands trail down my arms and then gave my right
hand one last squeeze before getting into the passenger's seat
of the jeep.
They drove away and I held it in until the red giant left our
parking garage and the gate shut behind it.
Once I heard the solid "Clank" of the metal gate locking into
place I sank to the floor and sobbed right there in the middle
of the garage.
Rosalie and Alice must have picked me up and supported me
as we walked to the elevator and then down the hall to our
apartment because the next thing I knew I was in our living
room sobbing on the floor. They sat with me there on either
side of me, both of them recovered by now, and just held me
as I let it all out. It wasn't the same for them. Their loves
weren't going to be in someone else's arms in 2 weeks.
We sort of just hung around the apartment the rest of the day.
We walked down to a little deli and got some lunch, then we
walked home. We talked about the boys and laughed as if
everything was normal. As if they were just at practice or
something and would be home in a few hours.
The first ring barely rung and it was flipped open and to my
ear.
"Edward!"
"No, not really. Was there something you needed?" I said with
a bored voice. I couldn't help it. He was pretty arrogant
sometimes. Not that I didn't love it. I just didn't always want
him to get away with it.
"No. If I'm bothering you I can just call another time - "
"I guess you're right. I've been driving across desert all day so
it feels like it's been longer than that already."
I knew how he felt. I was only putting on the whole "It's been
less than 10 hours" bit so he wouldn't know how pathetic I
was.
That night I took my phone into the bed with me and fell
asleep with it in my hand, waiting for it to be later.
The first week went by pretty slow. It was hard to switch back
to a normal sleeping schedule, and for the most part we didn't
even though we tried.
Edward did call me back that first night when they were in
Vegas. He woke me up with the call and could tell that I had
been sleeping. He felt really bad and made me go back to
sleep despite my protests.
Every time I heard his beautiful voice on the other line I felt
calm. The phone didn't do him justice, but his velvet over the
phone was still better than anything else live and in person.
Anytime I wasn't listening to his voice I was in a constant state
of anxiousness, my stomach always in a knot, my fingers or
toes always tapping away the seconds, trying to push them by
faster.
The week they left the girls and I managed to slip into a new
routine without the boys.
Alice was shopping a lot, even for her! She eventually started
to bring home clothes for Rose and I. Jasper got a few goodies
too, and she laid those aside for when he returned. It was only
a matter of time before Emmett and Edward would be getting
presents, I was sure.
Rose pretty much just spent extra hours at the gym and had
started tanning because she said it was "relaxing".
September 12th, one week and 2 days after they had been
gone, Rose and I were in our Film Acting class and our teacher
announced it was time to start working on our final projects
since we didn't have this class 4th semester.
Rose decided to work with Jane, another girl in our class that
we had known our whole time at school. Jacob was in front of
me and when he turned to look around the room for a partner
our eyes locked and we both smiled at the same time.
After listing off a ton of comedies that were pretty cliche or not
really final project worthy Jake's face lit up and he said, "What
do you think about Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind?"
"Oh hold on Jake, I've got to take this... Hey Edward." I smiled
when I said his name.
"Hello Bella, how are you today?" The calm feeling took over...
"I'm good. We got our final assignments for film class and I'm
pretty sure mine is going to turn out pretty amazing."
"Thanks for the excellent direction, I'll try my best. How are
things on the road today?"
"I know." And I did. I had been trying really hard not to think
about it. One of their shows got canceled and now they were
driving straight from tonight's show to Forks, giving them even
more time there. Even more time with her...
"I'm sorry Bella, I have to go, Jasper thinks he got lost and
Emmett can't figure out the map, I am much needed." He
chuckled and I pictured his crooked smile spread across his
face.
"Bye Edward..." I was a little light headed from the way his
voice had changed, it was one of the few things about him I
had not managed to get used to in the slightest.
"It does. Oh wow - the colors here are amazing Bella! It's so
green, you've never seen anything like it, I'm sure. I actually
forgot how green it was here. It's beautiful, you'd honestly
love it... Oh, we just passed our high school...wow- It's weird
to be back. Now we just passed the hospital my dad works
at...there's the bank and the Newton's store... it's so different
from Hollywood." He laughed at that and I smiled again.
All too soon he said, "Oh there's the house!" and I heard
Jasper and Emmett cheering in the background.
"I have to go now, I'm sorry, we are pulling up to our house."
He sounded truly sorry but more anxious than anything.
"I understand, tell your parents and your house I said hi!"
He chuckled and said "Of course. Talk to you soon Bell." Then
he was gone.
That was 5 days ago now, which made today September 18th,
the day before my birthday. Not that it mattered much to me,
the only thing I really wanted was not anything I would ever
get.
I got both piles of mail and headed to 110 to drop off theirs
first. I always went in and set it on the counter, not ever
looking around at the all too vacant living room or even letting
myself glance at Edward's room.
I shut the door and locked it, which was weird, and walked
back to my own apartment, taking my phone out and checking
it to make sure I hadn't missed anything, It was a new habit I
had slipped into.
I opened the door and walked into the living room and I
almost made it all the way into my room before I noticed there
were more bodies than there should be in my apartment.
They went home around 10:30, which was early for us but late
enough to be called late, and I started to get ready for bed
even though I wasn't too tired.
I got into bed and started to read. Rose was on the patio on
the phone with Emmett and Alice was in her room with the
door shut. I opened Wuthering Heights and started back in,
begging the characters I knew so well to distract me long
enough to get tired.
I'm always proud. Drive safe, tell Em and Jazz I love them.
Miss you. Talk tomorrow for sure. -Bell
I was hanging out with Jake in the cafe the next afternoon and
we were waiting for Sam to get out of class.
Jake was so easy to get along with and made me laugh a lot
so most rehearsals had turned into him coming over to the
apartment to hangout. Naturally spending more time with
Jacob also meant spending more time with Sam, but that was
fine because Sam was one of the funniest people I had ever
met.
It was later that night on my birthday and Sam and Jake were
over again like the night before. Alice was around this time,
having returned from the mall early due to my birthday.
"Oh yeah, you totally love the Love Sac. I did well." She
giggled and then literally jumped on the Love Sac next to me,
and we fit perfectly with more than enough room for two. It
was huge. Jacob even fit and he sat down on my other side for
a few minutes, but then he took the floor instead.
Later on I still hadn't moved out of the Love Sac and Alice got
caught up in a heated lecture as she was explaining the
differences of blue and aqua to Sam by holding up two tank
tops she had just bought. His face was priceless as he just
shook his head back and forth, refusing to admit they were
different shades.
"Noting, you just get so excited when you talk sometimes. You
use your hands a lot. It's fun to watch." I smiled and shrugged
at him.
"Sorry Jake, I've got to take this." I said and I excused myself
and slipped out onto the patio.
"Hey!"
"It's really ok, there's nothing going on." I assured him. It was
true, we were just in the apartment as usual.
"Oh Jake and Sam are here again and we rented a movie, but
that's it. Alice did buy me a ridiculous thing called a Love
Sac... but you'll find out more about that when you get back.
Other than that the most exciting thing that happened was
when Alice and I made cupcakes, but you aren't Emmett so
that shouldn't really make any difference to you."
They had been home for almost a week now. I hadn't been
talking to him every day like before, but it was consistent
enough. He briefly mentioned that Tanya was in Alaska with
her family until the 22nd, so I knew that our tiny hitch in
communication was not due to her, which made it ok.
"How's your piano?" I smiled when I asked it. I've seen what
he can do on a keyboard, I can only imagine the magic he
could create on a real piano.
"Can I hear what you wrote?" I had tried this before a few
days ago.
"Sure, just come over and once you get here I'll play it for
you." He was being funny.
"Ha ha. I meant for you to play it for me over the phone." I
put on my most innocent voice possible, hoping it would soften
him. It didn't.
"Nothing you could play would ever sound horrible Edward, but
of course we will do things your way and I will wait. You have
to play it for me when you get back though." I didn't ask. I
would force him to.
"It'll be the first thing we do. That reminds me, I know what
I'm getting you for your birthday." I could hear him smiling.
"Silly Bella, you will change your mind when you find out what
it is. I am certain. Would it help if I told you I won't spend any
money on it?"
"Good."
I sat out there for a minute more and just let myself miss him.
My thoughts were broken by laughter breaking out inside and I
looked behind me through the sliding glass door to see Jacob
and Sam now wearing Alice's tank tops strutting around our
living room as she had a laughing fit on the floor and Rose ran
to get a camera.
"Just dinner with the family. And Tanya I think. I invited her
over tonight since my parents haven't seen her in so long due
to us being away." He still sounded wrong.
"We had a really great talk last night, actually. I took her down
to the river and I think it's the first time we've been honest
with each other in a long time."
Why is he telling me this? He never talks about their
relationship to me. We never made that statement out loud,
but it just wasn't part of our friendship. Why now? Why is he
feeding me details now?
"We had a really great talk last night, actually. I took her down
to the river and I think it's the first time we've been honest
with each other in a long time."
"No, nothing like that Bella." He didn't say my name right. "It's
just a plan. Not an engagement exactly... I mean, I didn't
propose or plan it out. I guess we both just know that
someday..." He didn't finish his sentence and he didn't need
to. Ring or no ring, date or no date it was final enough to
break my heart.
"Oh. Well good, I'm happy for you." I lied straight through my
teeth, my voice monotone, my mind still racing around in
confusion.
Jake and Sam were inside with Rose and Alice as was usual
these days, but none of them saw my silent melt down.
"Ok, bye. Miss you." I nearly whispered. It was all I could think
to do.
There was silence for a moment and I thought he was already
gone but I just sat there with the phone still up to my head not
able to move or think any further.
"You too." And the warmth was back for those 2 tiny words.
Then he was gone.
After Jacob and Sam left that night I went to bed and lost it. I
have never had an episode like this. I'd never had a reason to.
Rosalie didn't miss a beat. She came into the room and laid
next to me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders and
let me cry. Sob. Scream.
Hopeless.
This particular conversation I had with Edward was only for
about 3 minutes but it was better than the conversation that
preceded it because he said nothing of his girlfriend/semi
fiance/she-devil...or whatever you want to call her.
"You will hear it soon enough, it's not like I will forget how to
play it when we return," he assured me.
Alice and Rose were around, and we had just called Emmett
for his birthday because it was now October 4th.
2 days before they returned. 1 day before they left Forks.
Exactly one full week since I have spoken to Edward. The
longest we have ever gone without speaking since the day we
met.
Jacob and Sam were over again and we were watching Eternal
Sunshine so we could get even more into our scene.
"Just a family dinner at the house. Well, family and some, um,
friends." The way he said "friends" told me what I needed to
know. It wasn't his blessed DVD collection. She was there. The
happy couple was together.
Then the way he said, "I love you sister, I really can't wait to
get back to you guys. We'll start having fun again Bellarina,"
confirmed that the sadness was apparent in my voice. Emmett
was trying to comfort me, no doubt having heard from Rose
about mine and Edward's sudden distance, and my reaction to
it.
I spent all of my spare time with him for the last week because
he reminded me of the character I could become to stop being
Bella. He made me feel like I didn't have to feel what Bella was
feeling, didn't have to worry about what Bella was or wasn't. I
don't know if I was using him. I don't think so because I truly
enjoyed his company.
"I've never been actually," Jake sat up and said to me. "I've
always wanted to go though, so it's settled. Disneyland." He
stated and made it official.
October 5th. The day the Cullens leave Forks to come back to
Hollywood. 1 day before I see them again. One full week and 1
day since I have spoken to Edward. Disneyland Day.
"Yes! Yes I did! You are not paying for my ticket Jake!" I was
really angry. This made no sense to me.
"I told you Bells, it's your late birthday present. I said I was
going to do something for you, why not this?" He smiled and
me and I glared back. The "A Very Merry Un-Birthday" song
from Alice and Wonderland that just happened to come on
over the speakers throughout the entrance plaza only seemed
to mock me as he stared at me with his sincere face.
"Fine. I'll let you think you are getting away with this, but I will
pay you back somehow." I folded my arms and started
thinking of ways to pay him back immediately.
"I can tell that this is going to be a really fun day with the
awesome way you are reacting to my present." He said
sarcastically as he looked at me sideways.
"Ok Jake, are you sure you are ready to experience The
Happiest Place on Earth?" I said excitedly as I linked my arm
in his to speed up our walking. I was definitely in a better
mood with each step closer to the front gates. You have to
love Disneyland.
"No... Maybe. It's just so great, you know? Every time I see
the show I know it will turn out ok. I know that Mickey will
save the world. It's comforting." I looked at him with my
moisture filled eyes and smiled and he nodded that he
understood, humoring me.
"Sure, I'll just go to the equilibrium doctor and see what they
can do to fix me up." I retorted sarcastically. Of course there
was nothing I could do about it!
"That's all I ask. You are going to put yourself in real danger
one of these days. What would I do without you?" He asked
that mostly in a joking manner, but it turned a little serious at
the end and I blushed.
That was clearly the wrong thing to say. His face got really
serious and I blushed even more. I didn't mean it in anyway
other than in reference to our scene partner relationship.
Yes, I had become really close with Jake in the last month. I
had spent so much time with him it would have been
impossible not to.
With that thought I was done for the night. I literally had to
shake my head again to try and get those thoughts cleared
out. I needed to get to my bed, the place where I could finally
let them take me over and not have to constantly fight against
them.
"Bells you don't look too good, I think you need some sleep."
Jake said as he watched my face change with my thoughts. He
still never asked what always changed my mood so suddenly,
he just snapped into caretaker mode.
"Yeah, I think you're right." I hugged him and let him support
most of my weight for a second. "Thank you again for going
with me today Jacob, it was a really great idea to get out of
here for a bit."
"Bellarina!"
"No way sister, I'm just in the back of the jeep hanging out.
Jasper's driving. Don't you usually bug Edward about getting
back faster than humanly possible?" He chuckled at himself
and I smiled at how naive he was. He clearly didn't
comprehend how much our situation had changed in the past
few days. Well, how much Edward had let everything change.
"Hello?"
"Thank you. You should probably get some too, it's really late."
I agreed and then said goodbye.
For 9 whole days, Bella? No, you cannot chalk all his odd
behavior up to fatigue. I was too tired myself, though, of
trying to figure out what was wrong with him so that's what I
lied to myself over and over again anyway.
"I mean, can they ever be on time for anything?" Alice was
ranting as she paced in our living room.
She was being a bit dramatic, Edward had said "8ish" not 8
exactly. But I knew how she felt. I was sitting on the edge of
what I now thought of as Sam's chair. My leg was bouncing up
and down rapidly, my mind moving even faster.
At 8:09 we all got the same text at the same time. It was from
Emmett.
Home!
The driver side door flew open and Emmett bounded out,
scooped Rose up and spun her around as he kissed her. Alice
had run over to the passenger side of the jeep and I suppose
her and Jasper were having their reunion privately over there.
But the knot was the worst it had ever, ever been in all 33
days. I was sort of frozen in place, about 6 feet away from the
jeep.
"I know you are! It's a good day!" I had a real smile on now
and I was feeling real happiness.
He was digging around in the back of the jeep trying to pull his
bag out. Once it was released he flung it over his shoulder and
turned around and faced me. I looked in his eyes for the first
time in one month and 3 days.
Something was more than wrong. His eyes were wrong. They
were dark and they were distant. His body language was
wrong. His shoulders were slumped and his head was held a
little lower than usual. And he looked tired in a way.
I leaned into him to try and fix it. He smelled the same at
least. I took in the scent I had been forcing myself to
remember every day and realized I had done a poor job
recreating it in my memory.
It was the only thing about him that wasn't changed somehow.
The numbness led me through the living room and into the
bedroom. I had imagined the reunion so much differently than
that. Especially after 9 days of not talking at all. Tanya or no
Tanya we should be able to still be friends. We always had
before.
Time didn't matter any more. Days didn't matter any more. I
threw my cell phone on my bed and then myself next to it. Or
on top of it. Or whatever. It didn't matter any more.
I had been laying face down on my bed for a while when the
door opened and someone came inside.
"Ok, I'm in." I said. I pulled myself up and followed her into
the living room.
I almost felt bad for them. I knew all their efforts were being
wasted.
"Bella don't you want some more pizza?" Alice asked with her
little careful voice.
"Um, not really. I'm kind of full." I lied.
"You only took 2 bites Bell," Rose said still being so damn
careful. Like their words were going to break me further.
"Oh," is all I said. I just walked into the bathroom and shut the
door.
I read for a bit and then just let the book drop out of my hands
and to the floor when I realized I wasn't really reading at all. I
knew the story by heart anyway. Why was I reading something
that I already knew? What is wrong with me? Why do I stay
interested in things that will not ever change? Why...
I was too numb for that. They only thing that reacted was the
silent contraction of the knot inside of me. On the surface I
just stared back at her until I found my voice.
Numbness gone.
Numbness gone.
"What? Alice, what do you mean they broke up? Are you
serious? Weren't they just practically engaged?" I may have
asked all 4 questions at the same time, I was talking so fast. I
felt like a huge bucket of cold water had been dumped over my
head. I was instantly alert and very shaken up.
He did it. Him. Not her. Edward broke up with Tanya. He had
to have a reason. Things were so different the last time I
talked to him. He had to have a reason. A good reason. Me?
NO!
I was thinking too quickly now and that was not the correct
thing to think. Where did that even come from? From all the
unhealthy wishful thinking. No, not because of me, he wasn't
even speaking to me. But what then?
"I have to talk to him."
That was the only thing I knew for sure. Whatever the reason
was it had hurt him. It had changed him. But he did it for
some good reason, I know Edward and he wouldn't do
something like this without a good reason, especially if it hurt
him to do it.
I sent it off to Edward then settled into bed. The knot had
returned and was the only thing with me as I slipped into
dreamless sleep.
The next dayI had a full day of school and then rehearsal with
Jacob. We were rehearsing in the spot we would be filming
now, which was a grassy knoll on campus.
Edward was at work when I got home. Emmett had helped him
get hired at a Starbucks in a Barnes & Nobel in the huge
shopping center close to Beverly Hills called The Grove. It is a
really nice area and Emmett was going to be transferring there
soon as well. Edward was training today apparently. I got this
information from Emmett.
He took a shower and then came out into the living room with
the rest of us. He had on his maroon zip up and it still
complimented his hair and his skin perfectly, but the darkness
his eyes had taken on wasn't effected. He ran his hand
through his damp hair as he walked out his door and I sat up a
little bit falling back in love with that subconscious habit of his.
The rest of the game did nothing for him though. I was more
silent as well because of it.
Finally!
"Bella, you probably already know this, but I know I should tell
you myself anyway. Tanya and I broke up." He was still talking
really softly and he was looking down at my bed.
He took a long time to start talking again, but this time when
he did it was faster than before and I tried to take it all in.
"The marriage stuff was one last effort for me to make it right
for her I guess. It was so easy to think about after readjusting
to life in Forks that first week. I have tried everything to make
it right. No matter what I try though, we always ended back at
the same place. She's changed so much, I guess I didn't see it.
Well, I didn't want to see it. She's not the person I fell in love
with 2 years ago. She's started living a life style I don't agree
with. She was honest about it when we first moved. That's
when she got these new friends and started spending all her
time with them. They party a lot and are pretty vulgar."
That was the first time I understood what it must have been
like to be Tanya all these months. As much as I hated hearing
her name, how much had she hated hearing any of ours? Or
even just mine? How much of our relationship had Edward let
her in on? She had a right to know everything. He at least told
her enough to make her use it against him.
I very nearly felt bad for her. But Edward was still talking, and
still hurting, and that was unacceptable.
Then I got it. She almost did it before they left. After he told
her the band was moving. Before the goodbye show.
"It's horrible because I know I still have a love for her. I mean,
I've known her for so long... but I suppose I love the person I
wanted her to be. The one she used to be. I don't know her
anymore. The woman I loved wouldn't have done any of those
things."
He looked up, but not all the way. Just kind of at the wall.
But that's only because I didn't know what was coming next.
"I really care about you, and Alice and Rose of course. I'm not
planning on disappearing or anything, just spending more time
doing more productive things. I thought I should let you know
I won't be around as much. Like I said I still care a lot about
you Bella, and if you need anything don't hesitate to come to
me, please. I'm just making a decision not to be around the
group as much for a while. Not to be distracted."
I literally saw the walls block me out and build up in his eyes
and I felt the first tear fall.
"I'm sorry..." It's all he said and then he pulled me into a hug.
The worst part is that it didn't feel like a fight or even a break
up of sorts. It was like a death. That's what made it so hard.
The person I loved, in more ways than one, just didn't exist
anymore.
I had this horrible false hope that at any second he would turn
to me and his eyes would be back to normal and we would
snap back into our amazing friendship and he would forget all
his silly "I need to be distant and find myself" crap.
All I wanted was for him to scoot closer to me. Not in any
romantic way, just the way it used to be. I wanted to see his
real smile when he turned to me and to be sharing a "movie
snack" because we were watching something on TV for a long
period of time. I wanted him to tease me about being clumsy
or get excited over a new CD and force me to pause the show
and listen to it right away. I wanted to hear the things he had
composed and promised me I could hear when they returned
from tour. I even wanted my damn birthday present he was so
stubborn about, just because it would be the old Edward being
stubborn about giving it to me!
I was yearning for him and he was right there next to me.
"I know exactly how she felt. You don't want to do it. You don't
want to believe someone you thought you knew could change
that just want it to be fixed." He was better now, recovering,
putting his walls back up as he explained to me. I could see his
eyes change as he put all the walls right back up.
The only other days I have detailed memories from are due to
the people who were still my family during that time.
Emmett was the first to cheer me all the way up, even if it was
temporary.
"Emmett it's fun rooting for you and your little men." I threw
out. And it really was. It was a comforting kind of fun.
I sat up. I'll go along with it. There's only one thing I really
crave these days, and I won't find it at the bottom of a glass
with soda and ice cream, but who could deny Emmett?
Alice let out a tiny excited squeal and jumped up to prove she
was in. I threw some converse on and we were out, the three
of us in Emmett's giant jeep.
We never got the root beer floats, however. We decided to go
to Super Target on Sunset and Melrose and we got entirely too
distracted. We ended up with a huge tub of sherbert ice cream
instead. I still don't know how, and this time it's not because
of my Loss-of-Edward-Daze. None of us could really explain
how we had changed our minds and ended up with it.
We would park on the street, Alice would run up and into our
kitchen, grab some spoons and then retreat back to the jeep
and we would make away with our ice cream and the open
road!
"Oh girls, we have to stop by the practice space real quick, the
guys are off work and we need to load the jeep for the show
this weekend. The guys are already there. But then we can go
to the beach!" We remained excited and headed back to
Hollywood Blvd for our quick detour.
But the totally awesome thing was, they weren't alone. Angela
and Jess were there too. I was confused but I tried not to think
about it.
But really, it just made no sense. What were they doing here?
I had written them all off before Emmett even finished inviting
them and I was letting the numbness take back over as I
watched Edward go back up into the practice space. It didn't
work though because as we drove away I noticed Angela and
Jess follow him in.
Then the Gaston song came on. Rose took over and made me
and Alice giggle as she made her voice as manly as possible
and sang to me as if I was Gaston:
That went on through the whole song until they turned to me,
indicating I had to sing Gaston's very famous line:
"And every last inch of me's covered with hair!"I hadn't given
in during the first part of the song, but I couldn't resist and I
surprised them when I used my most manly voice I could
muster and belted it out. There was part of me still alive and
still willing to come out and play. It was good to know.
Jasper had just lost to me for the first time ever, I was really
focused in my new state of needing distractions, and I was
sort of teasing him about it.
Ok, I was boasting. It didn't take much these days. Any small
victory counted.
"I seriously just killed you. And not even once, or twice. Like
25 times. In a row. That's pretty bad Jasper." I couldn't stiffle
the giggle now.
"Awe Jazz are you sad? Do you need some tears?" Alice teased
him further. She reached up with the light blue Sharpie that
was in her hand and made a small mark on his face.
The boy was not literally blood related to me and for the first
time in my almost 6 months of knowing him I was more than
grateful for that. It definitely distracted Alice more than me
though, and he got her on the couch, pinned, while he just
green and oranged her all over.
She was sqealing in protest and I was right there to save her,
but he was stronger than both of us together. What was with
these Cullens? You expected the strength from Emmett, but
the other 2 were also insanely strong when they focused it.
The fits of laughter that kept us on the floor for a few minutes
longer were the last small success any of them had with me in
that 2 weeks.
They were all so wonderful, and most of the time I was just
numb.
The boys had a show. It was their first show back, so it was
kind of a big deal for the little community that started to follow
their every move.
I sat in Alice's room and let her do what she wanted with me.
The results were good, I had to admit. It didn't matter of
course, to me it never did, but now it really didn't because I
knew Edward wouldn't be commenting on the outcome again
no matter what. He probably wouldn't even look at me long
enough to notice a difference. But I still couldn't deny her
talents in making me "decent".
We got to the show and saw Jess and Angela with Mike and
Tyler, the last 2 we hadn't in over a month. It was nice and I
tried my best to listen as they told us what they were up to,
trying catching a hint as to why Jess and Angela would visit
the practice space, but I was actually scanning the room to
find Edward.
I found him and felt better once I knew his location. He may
not be "hanging out as much" but I still made sure I always
knew exactly where he was. It just made me feel better I
guess.
The interesting thing was Jess, Mike, Angela and Tyler seemed
to be ok for him to be around. Oh sure, he hung out with them
all night.
The only time anything felt normal that night was when they
took the small stage. He walked up to me where I was next to
Rose and Alice in the front row and took out his cell phone and
handed it to me.
I reached out and took it and he said "Thanks Bell" with the
smile still on his face. Then he turned around and the show
started. He didn't look at me at all while he performed, also
just like before.
The rest of the show passed with him being new unfamiliar
Edward. I gave him his phone back after they were done and
he smiled again and said thanks again but it was fake and
immediately after Mike came up to him rambling something
about a cover song.
Things got even more interesting when I noticed that the rest
of the show Edward spent at Angela's side.
After a few songs the guitars got set aside and conversation
broke out though no one really moved, except for 2 people.
Edward got up from his place on the floor and Angela followed
as they went into his bedroom and shut the door.
The second the door shut Rose, Alice, Jasper and Emmett all
turned their heads to me, all with looks of worry on their faces.
And with good reason.
Another week went on pretty much like the previous two. The
only differences being I was constantly in pain now and
Edward was around even less.
I hung out with Jake even more because of it. We filmed our
scene that week and it went great. I was so eager to be
Clementine and not Isabella by that point I wished we were
doing a remake of the whole movie and not just the one scene.
Jake and Sam came over the night Jake and I filmed to
celebrate it going so well. Sam and Rose had filmed their
scenes earlier in the week so it was a celebration for us all.
It was now Friday night on that third week of living with new
and distant Edward and things were about to start to change,
again, and it caught me completely off guard, again.
I was in the Love Sac again with Jake's head in my lap. Rose
and Em in Bertha, Alice and Jasper in the bowl chair, Sam in
his faithful chair at the table.
I had gotten very used to the jolt that went through my insides
when he walked in a room these past few weeks.
I had finally come to terms with the fact that my Edward, for
the most part, was gone and I had no idea how to make him
come back. I didn't give up any time I could get with him
though, I still felt entirely drawn to him. I probably always
would. I wanted to believe he was still in there but I also didn't
expect much from him anymore.
Before the movie ended Edward had turned his gaze back to
me but I never looked directly at him again. I was sure his
eyes were going to be guarded like they always were now and
I hated seeing that. It didn't feel as intense as it had before so
I kept my attention on the movie and the small comments
Jake would make to me every few minutes.
Rose really never had a chance now that those two knew
about each other.
The apartment cleared out when the dancing was done and I
got a bow from Jacob after our dance which actually made me
blush because it was so gentlemanly. I also got a fake hug
from Edward as he left which made me feel more distant from
him than ever. I usually felt that way when I had to put up
with the fake him right after he gave me a moment with the
real him though.
The next night brought on the show with the big cover song. I
was actually excited to hear it, Mike and all them were good
musicians and with Edward's vocals they were probably going
to sound great. They had informed us at the beginning of the
night the song they were covering was "Working for
theWeekend" by Loverboy. An excellent choice if you ask me.
I would have been even more excited except Edward had been
picked up by Angela earlier in the afternoon so he could
rehearse with them some more before the big show. He was
riding to the show with them as well. It all worked out pretty
awesome.
They got there after we did and I was surprised when Edward
actually managed to pealed himself away from her for a while
to mingle with other people.
I scoffed and went to find Jake. He and Sam had ridden with
us to the show but I had separated myself to calm down after
Edward showed up.
The boys' were going to play first, before we got to hear the
cover song. I was standing in our usual spot in the front row
with Rose, Alice, Sam, Jake, Jess, Mike, Tyler, and of course
awesome Angela. Sam and Jake were actually sort of behind
us since the group was sort of large and Jake was leaning on
me and we were all talking as a group.
He walked onto the stage and right up to me, turning his gaze
to me again but less intensely. He smiled sweetly as he pulled
his phone out of his pocket and handed it to me. It was an odd
look I'd never seen before. The smile was almost too sweet. It
wasn't the fake one and it wasn't the dazzling real one. It
almost looked like a predator trying to lure their prey into
them. I was oddly attracted to it though. Something must
really be wrong with me.
Jake had his arm around me, as he often did these days, and I
was leaning into him enjoying not having to put as much effort
into being upright, as I often did these days. The past month
had taken a lot out of me. The past 3 weeks specifically since
someone couldn't seem to decide if he wanted to stay distant
or not.
He just smugly tilted his head to the side and gave a little shug
that meant "nothing".
She sighed. "Ok, I believe you. I'm probably asking the wrong
person anyway..." She tried to walk away but this time it was
my turn.
"Alice, what are you talking about?" I don't need her playing
games with me too.
"Please Bella, like Rose and I haven't been watching every look
that Edward has been giving you all night. You have to be
going crazy!" She had that right.
Wow. I guess she did get me to "spill" after all. It kind of felt
good.
She smirked. "Oh yeah? Just like you and Edward, right? How
all your time together didn't mean anything to either one of
you?" She emphasized "you" to make her point.
"It's called jealousy Bella." She sounded like she was speaking
to a 2 year old. "It's a bitch but it works wonders."
She was absurd. First with this crazy Jacob liking me theory,
and then with the impossible Edward is jealous talk. "Ok Alice,
you're losing it."
With that I walked away and but her little legs caught up with
me and she said quietly "You don't see the way Jake looks at
you, it would drive me crazy too if I knew I gave you up, even
as a friend, and got replaced by him."
And with that our conversation was over and we were back
with the small group, my head even more full of questions
than before.
Right after we joined the others, and before Edward could start
staring again, Angela gestured towards everyone that it was
time to go back in and start their set.
The plan was to play "Working for the Weekend" as the last
song in their set so Edward was not needed until then.
Edward was sitting on the same amp he was earlier which was
on stage right, which put him directly across from us now.
This time I was in the back row or our little group and I'll
admit I was hiding a little bit. Rose, Alice and Jasper were in
front. Emmett was next to me with his arms around Rose, Jake
and Sam to my other side.
Edward sang the song perfectly and they got the whole room
moving. He spent a lot of time on stage next to Angela, who
played the keyboard, and I couldn't stop the burning feeling in
my stomach each time she sang with him in the mic or he
playfully bumped her with his hips.
We left the show earlier than usual since the boys' had packed
the jeep while waiting for Edward to play with the other band.
When we decided to leave Edward got into Angela's car to
drive with her back to the apartments.
My car got home first with Jasper and Emmett pulling in right
behind us. We all went up to our floor and straight to the boys'
apartment. We hung out in the living room and Emmett was
burning Sam and Jake a copy of their CD since they enjoyed
the show so much.
"What? You try being cornered by that bear and see how you
react! I was a child and he was not that much smaller when we
were young!" His face was serious as he raised his volume as
he defended himself. We all started laughing and Edward
walked by us and into the kitchen as he said that.
But during this song he did it to me again. Not the only the
staring... he surprised me with the real him.
And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky
But as the next line started Edward moved his gaze up directly
on me and I felt it so strong I couldn't refuse my body's urge
to look back. It was even more powerful because of the line we
had gotten to in the song:
The song continued and I tore myself away from his eyes as
the lyrics became less intense. I felt him still staring but I just
kept my eyes on the floor trying to make my face and heart
return to normal. We actually were in a room full of people
after all.
And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial
The next lines are sung by a female in the original song and of
course Mike was using a humorous falsetto voice. That helped
distract me a little. Even above that though, I could hear the
velvet calling to me:
I was fighting against the urge to look and the love I felt and I
was holding strong until the last part of the song arrived.
His face was very serious and I couldn't handle it. My insides
were on fire, but it wasn't the jealous fire I that had been
fueling all week. My head was pounding, not in pain, in
confusion and desire. I had to get out of there before I
exploded.
I went into the living room and threw Damien Rice into the
stereo. Wallowing music.
A few songs passed but I didn't move. I simply let the music
take me over- all the sadness of it, and the passion... the
feelings it conveyed that I never fully could.
His eyes were more alive now, dancing. I was frozen in place.
I saw his eyes flash from the dancing to sorrow and then back
to warm dance. He stood up then and held out his hand.
"Dance with me Bella. You know the waltz now don't you?" He
smiled slightly and grabbed my hand, forcing me out of the
chair.
He pulled me to him, not completely, but enough.
"Edward, you know that's a bad idea. I could put us both in the
hospital." I joked back at him. It came back to me so
naturally, this playfulness. It was the way it was meant to be
between us.
It didn't take long to get into the rhythm. I didn't notice until
about a minute later that it was because Edward had quickly
taken over.
The music had changed now. That particular song ends with
just a symphony playing the most beautiful and heart warming
notes you could imagine. It swells and builds with passion and
simple beauty.
It almost felt like he was going to kiss me. At least all those
times I had imagined kissing him, this was what I had
imagined right before it to be like.
He was hesitating but still starting at me, our faces not far
apart at all, but they had been closer before.
His face and eyes changed suddenly but not to the fake
Edward that had come back from tour. He was still him. It was
more of a calming look that took over. The warmth remained
and he brought his forehead down on mine and closed his
eyes. He brought both of his hands up to either side of my
head and tangled them in my wild hair gently.
He didn't have to say anything else adn I'm not sure he could
have even if he tried.. I knew it was over then, the
awkwardness and the distance.
"I missed you so much.," was all I could say, but it was all that
was needed in that moment. We were connected again and we
didn't need words to communicate. That's how our relationship
worked.
We pulled away and shared one last look then we went back to
rejoin the others but never left each others side the rest of the
night, laughing at things no one else found funny, finally back
together after so long.
EPOV
How I loved this night and everything that was strewn across
it. It brought me back. No, not the night itself...
Oh.
I don't really want that out any longer. I picked it up. But what
do I do with it?
Sad?
No she's probably not sad. She doesn't seem to let herself feel
anything close to remorse if she can help it. That's not who
she truly is though, I know it. Inside of her is the girl that lived
in the picture I am holding. It doesn't matter anymore,
however. I will never view her the same even if we reconcile a
friendship someday.
I just placed the picture in a box in my closet and shut the
door and grabbed my maroon zip up and started putting it on.
I zipped the hoodie up hastily and laid back down on the bed
and turned on some music. I really do need to relax.
BPOV
Tanya.
Jacob.
I felt really bad when I realized Sam and Jake were not going
to be around as often as they had been and it was very ok with
me.
"I don't know Jake, tonight really isn't good. We have some
errands to run." I didn't explain who "we" was. Not that it
should matter, but putting the two of them together in any
way still felt weird to me.
I felt very bad. This could not end well. I really didn't want to
hurt him...
"Tell her 5 minutes and no longer, you and I have a date with
the grocery store."
Friday finally arrived and without our Film class we had the
whole day free.
Luckily it didn't take us long to form a plan that took away the
work problem at least a little.
He just wrapped his other one around her middle and smiled
sweetly at her. "Oh really? Just like the last time we went into
a store for one little thing and I ended up carrying 5 full bags
to the car? And then when I tripped on the sidewalk and
dropped one you hit me in the arm and asked if Bella was
contagious?"
"You're still hung up on that? I've told you I'm sorry for that
already! I promise this time. Jazzy, I promise! Plee-ee-se?"
She looked up to him with the pout. She was so good.
She thought about it for a minute and then smiled widely and
agreed. "Thank you Jasper! Now we have to take our time and
make sure we look at everything in the store, so I know I'm
getting what I really want..." and with that his face fell in
defeat and she grabbed his hand and drug him full force into
the store.
Rose giggled and Edward smiled at the joke but threw me and
odd look as well. Emmett just smiled back and said "All pretty
ladies drink on the house today," and pushed the drink
towards me then walked away so it couldn't be discussed any
further.
I scoffed and picked up the drink. I threw the money into the
tip box and felt satisfied.
"I saw that," the velvet voice spoke up suddenly right in front
of me.
Well it wasn't like I was going to stop him any time soon!
It was from Jacob. I sighed and stared at the phone for a few
moments just thinking. I have been avoiding him more or less
for 4 days now. I have to address this little problem sooner or
later. I was concentrating so hard I didn't even hear Emmett
approach and sit in the chair next to me.
"Well for one you are awesome and any guy that had sense
would go for you," I blushed slighly at that, it was such a nice
compliment but it was ridiculous,"and for two I've seen him
around you!" He laughed a bit at his last statement like he just
pointed out the most obvious thing ever.
"Oh I know. I've also seen you around him." After he said that
he made a very quick but very pointed glance in Edward's
direction and I no longer knew which "him" Emmett was
referring to.
"Oh nothing, it's fine." I hurridly put my phone away and tried
to change the subject. "Are you on break?"
The chair was pretty large, bigger than the bowl chair but
smaller than the Love Sac. I scooted over and he sat next to
me very close. I loved it. I felt warm all over and I could have
stayed there all day.
"Oh it's really nothing Edward. It's not a big deal. But yes, if it
was very important I would tell you." I tried to sound casual so
he wouldn't worry any longer. This wasn't something I felt
comfortable discussing with him. Apparently it worked because
he smiled and just said "good," before turning his face away
from me.
Then he let his head fall back onto the chair and closed his
eyes as he ran his hands through his hair, causing a slight
groan to escape his mouth. "This is the longest day of work I
have ever experienced. I really wish I could go home now."
Jasper had an even more defeated look on his face and he was
carrying 3 full bags. Alice was beaming and instantly started
telling me about all the fashion design books she found. I gave
Jasper a sympathetic look and he just shrugged and shook his
head with a small smile.
No such luck.
Rosalie was at the gym since she got into that habit while the
boys were gone. Alice and Jasper were having one of their
laundry room talks, they still frequently sat on the dryers for
hours and hung out in their own little world there. It was odd
on the surface but we were all used to it now. It was very
"them".
"I was just going to come get you." He said with a smile as he
walked over and gave me a side hug.
I had to keep my mind from wandering down the path that
held thoughts of the many ways Edward could "get" me. Dear
Lord I had no control these days...
His face fell a bit and he took his arm from around me. "Oh.
Well he's in the shower right now." I listened and realized I
could indeed hear the water running.
"Well Edward, I became really close with Jacob when you were
away and now he's attracted to me for some reason and just
asked me on a date but I'm not interested in him because you
are the only person I want to spend any time with due to the
fact that I've fallen hopelessly in love with you and even
though you don't feel the same about me I can't imagine
feeling this way about anyone else, ever, and I'll probably be
comparing guys to you for the rest of my life and none of them
will match up. How do you think I should let him down
easy?"Yeah, right. Not happening.
I am so weak.
"Fine, I have a problem." I stated in defeat.
"So Jacob and I did our final scene together, like I told you a
few weeks ago," he nodded that he remembered and his eyes
narrowed a bit...odd, "well it required us to spend a lot of time
together and we became good friends, which is nice."
I nodded and he still just sat there with the phone in his hand,
not moving, just looking at me. "And how do you feel about
this?" He was searching me again, looking for things in my
eyes.
He was making me nervous as he sometimes does and I
started rambling. "Well I don't. I mean, I want it to stop. I like
him a lot as a friend, and yeah I had a lot of fun with him
during our scene, and hanging out every night while you guys
were away, and of course at Disneyland-" He cut me off then.
"Why don't you want to date him, he seems like a good guy."
He finally shut the phone and handed it back to me. He let one
of his hands rest on my knee and began speaking again. "I
can't help you." He smiled at me and my jaw dropped.
"Bella don't worry. Just tell him the truth and it will be fine. If
he has any sort of intelligence he will be able to get over it and
stay friends with you." He sounded so confident.
I just sat there and stayed upset. This wasn't helping at all.
Being honest was obvious, I needed to be comforted! I am not
used to turning people down! Perfect Edward had to be. Oh no
- he was not done. He wanted to help me and help me he
would. He had an obligation to as the best friend.
More came out in that rant than I had planned on, but my
emotions took me over when I started. I knew I was looking at
him with all the emotions I felt displayed on my face and it
was only the second time I almost fully lost control around
him, the first being the night before they left for tour. I pulled
back and tried to convince myself I hadn't let my face show
that I was referring to him. He could read me really well and
that would certainly not help things. I hoped he would ignore
most of what I just said and soley pay attention to my plea of
help. He didn't though. His face already told me he had taken
in every single word.
"Bella what are you talking about? You are good at being hurt?
Please don't say that. That's horrible." He looked truly sad now
and a little shocked. He ignored my plea altogether.
"No, it's fine. It's not important right now. I just... ugh... I just
want to get this over with." I got up then and walked out
leaving Edward and his sad eyes behind me in the couch. I
didn't look back, I just walked down the hall and straight into
the Love Sac. I will deal with Edward's sad face later. Make up
some excuse of a past love or something so I can keep my
cover. I needed to deal with this first.
Jake, I can't. I'm sorry. I love being your friend but I can't be
anything more. You are amazing- I just don't feel that way.
Sorry. Still friends?
I hit send before I could think and just waited. I waited for
about 20 minutes but no reply came back. It was worse than
him telling me I lead him on and he hated me. The silence
from him made me feel horrible. He was so amazing to me
during all the crap I went through when Edward was so
distant. He never asked questions, he just cared.
I let my eyes water but I did not lose control. I wasn't exactly
sad over Jacob, just the unfairness of the situation for him. I
kind of laughed bitterly when I realized we weren't that
different. Not that he was in love with me, but I knew what it
felt like to supress feelings for someone who cared about you,
but not in the right way.
I was done sort of crying over the situation pretty quickly but I
was still just sitting in the Love Sac not really knowing what to
do next.
"I did it. I told him how I felt and he didn't respond at all. I
feel horrible." I caught him up on what I had been doing and
waited for his reply. I figured he would comfort me but he
didn't.
"Sure." I sighed and got up. Any time with him was time well
spent, no matter how I was feeling.
"At least the carpet matches the doors," I thought out loud as
we got to the top of the stairs and I waited for him to show me
which door was theirs.
"In our apartment building the carpet is light blue and the
doors are orange. They don't match, it's horrible. It's always
bothered me." I explained it to him, surprised he hadn't
noticed. Honestly, it was hideous.
He just chuckled and mumbled something I couldn't hear and
he shook his head at me.
We were at a door about 1/4 of a way down the hall now and
he was unlocking it with a key. He opened the door and I was
granted entrance into the sacred paractice space.
"This is it." Edward smiled. Even in the small dark room his
smile was radiant. It brightened everything up immediately.
He closed the door and then went over to the keyboard and
sat on the small stool. It was clearly a better model than the
one he had leaning against the wall in his room. It had it's own
stand and everything. I followed him silently and perched
myself on top of the amp that was next to him.
"This is where I come when I'm not sure where else to go." He
explained, turning on the kayboard and sounding serious. "I
just come and play and think. I've spent a lot of time here in
the past month or so." On that sentence he glanced over to
me apologetically, and I knew he was referring to his period of
distance.
"I've already told you, I just don't feel that way for him." I was
studying him now, trying to find reason in his actions.
"Well... yeah."
"Sure."
"Do you forgive me?" His look was pleading and I was caught
off guard.
"I don't know what you are talking about." The nervousness
was fading as confusion took over.
"For being so distant from you Bella. I know it hurt you and
I'm so sorry." His voice was extra quiet now and he was boring
his pleading eyes into me. "I over think things all the time and
I was just trying to make sense of my life. I thought I needed
to push everyone I cared about away so I didn't hurt them
until I had my own emotions under control. Everything with
Tanya seemed to happen too quickly and I was dealing with so
many opposing feelings, I didn't even know which ones were
real so I felt like I needed a break. It makes sense to me, but I
shouldn't have been so extreme about it. I didn't mean to hurt
you further. I really am very sorry."
"Of course I forgive you Edward, I already did. You were really
hurt yourself. I saw that." I tried to stay casual in a way so he
would know I wasn't dwelling on the extreme amount of pain I
had indeed endured.
"Edward, I never stopped waiting for you before and last time
you didn't even ask me to." It was such a simple statement
but it was so full of meaning.
I felt the red take over my face and his eyes closed slowly as
he took in my words.
He took both my hands in both of his and leaned his forehead
down on mine again, keeping his eyes closed.
"Thank you Edward. It's the best present anyone has ever
given me." I felt his arms find their way around me and hold
me more tightly to him.
He breathed in and then said into my ear, "So you can accept
a present properly." I could hear the smile in his voice.
I pulled back a little to look at his face and thank him again. It
turned into us just looking at each other in silence. Just
looking again. It was all I needed to do for the rest of my life. I
didn't even notice that I had moved my hands up to the side of
his head and into his hair.
I was aware, however, that his hands were still around me,
holding me within his reach.
"Oh no, you just blushed profusely. What are you thinking?"
He asked it differently, less seriously, than he usually did and
leaned towards me. He had a devilish look on his face and I
blushed even more.
"It's just hot in here Edward, what's your news?" I was
speaking fast trying to get him off the subject of my little
embarrassing reaction.
"Carlisle and Esme are coming!" I finished the thought for him
and I was truly excited. The past few times Edward had been
on the phone with his mother around me he handed it to me
and I spoke to her for a few minutes each time. I had started
calling her "mom" because her voice held such a motherly tone
it felt natural to do. She definitely sounded more motherly
than my own mom. My mother thought it was sweet when I
told I did that and Esme loved it instantly, which only made
me love her more.
"Yes! They want to see where we live and meet all of our
ladies." He smiled when he said that and I beamed back.
"Well I'm going to go shower and get the coffee smell off of
me, but don't think for one second that I am going to stop
asking or thinking about your bushing. I will find out
someday." He gave me a smug look and I was almost sure he
could in fact read all my thoughts and was just attempting to
make me admit out loud I wanted to rip the apron right off of
him.
Later that night the boys were at practice and the girls and I
were lounging in the living room waiting for their return. It was
a late practice and the plan was to watch Anchorman when
they got home so we were keeping ourselves awake and
energized.
Alice and I both scolded her for making that statement but we
couldn't really deny it. Anyone falling down was hilarious and I
figured I have a right to laugh at them since it could be me.
They were my people.
"I hate long rehearsal nights! It's never good. You know this
means 2 of them are fighting and will be in bad moods when
they get back." Alice stated this as she shoved another 2 chips
in her mouth. There was nothing dainty about Doritos and
cream cheese. She also gave Rose and I a pointed look
because it was always Emmett and Edward who fought. Like
we could help it!
"It always takes me forever to get Emmett calm when him and
Edward have fight night. It's ridiculous really, how do you deal
with it Bella?" Rosalie asked with an amused look.
"I don't." I looked right back at her blankly. "Why would I have
to deal with it?"
Rose threw a chip at her for making fun of her statement and I
almost choked I laughed so hard. "I'm not ever rewarding him
for making a potty like a good boy either!" Alice was making
her jokes through gasps now as she tried to balance laughing
with swallowing and even Rose lost it. We were laughing loudly
at this point and I couldn't get that hilarious mental image out
of my head.
"Or the lack thereof..." Alice joked under her breath causing us
all to laugh again.
"Well, no. But the other night, when I turned Jake down for
the date," I shuddered a little. It still made me uncomfortable
and thanks to the break between semesters I hadn't seen or
spoken to Jake in a while, "Edward and I took a walk to the
practice space..." I trailed off not sure how to keep going.
When I got to the end of the story I stopped and waited for
their opinions I knew were coming.
"If you still feel so unsure about it just ask him. You guys
having that crazy communication thing going, you should be
able to talk about it. Plus I think he needs to own up to some
of the things that occurred during the Black Hole Days before
you fully agree to anything." Rose gave me a "trust me" look
just as the door to our apartment opened and Jasper walked in
so I had no time to respond.
"Eh, he's good at finding his own way." I joked and shrugged.
I got up and went into the kitchen to put the chips and the
cream cheese away thinking all the time about introducing it
as a new movie snack to Edward the next time we needed one.
Longboarding it is.
"Ok, don't be scared Bella. I'm not going to let go of you until
you tell me too." He was behind me and I was glad he couldn't
see my face flood red so I wouldn't have to deal with his
questions.
"Um, ok." My voice was shaking half from nerves and half from
the idea that I could keep his hands on me all night if I wished.
His hands were faithfully on my hips the whole time and once
when the board hitched for a second on a crack in the cement
I instinctively shot my hands on top of his for reassurance. He
chuckled and entwined his fingers in mine, as reassurance
back.
"It's cute that you don't trust me." He said right after with
sarcasm in his tone.
"Bella, all you have to do is push a little and then roll towards
me. I will stop you once you get to me. I'm only about 3 feet
away if you need me before that." He held his arms out to me
and suddenly I had motivation to roll.
"You did it!" He smiled at me. I was actually face to face with
him when on the longboard because it made up most of the
difference in our heights.
"I knew I wasn't going to hit you. Your face was priceless
though." He smirked but didn't change our position. I was
finding breathing to be a little difficult.
His laughter faded and turned into a sincere smile. His eyes
were bright and alive. He looked like he stopped breathing for
a moment too.
"You really are afraid I'm going to slip up and hurt you, aren't
you?" He looked concerned now.
I sighed because it seemed like he changed the subject again.
Very sneaky Edward Cullen. I suppose I should take this
opportunity since it keeps coming up anyway. I felt my insides
tighten as I began.
"Yes?" He still didn't move away from me. His arms were still
on either side of me and I was still in between his body and
the wall. It was very hard to concentrate because he was so
close.
Apparently he thought that was the question I had for him and
it was incredibly adorable how visibly disappointed he was at
the thought of me wanting him farther away from me. It gave
me confidence to go on, however. His reaction to my request
was comforting considering the subject matter I was
embarking on.
"I mean, I know what I think you meant, but I don't exactly
know for sure. You never really said. So I don't know if what I
am thinking is right, exactly." Ugh, did I just say "exactly" a
million times like an idiot again? Geeze, he gives me such odd
nervous habits.
Everything stopped.
"I was asking you to wait for me, essentially, yes." The
seriousness was back. "I know it's more than I deserve to ask
of you but Bella, but I really, really care about you. As a friend
before anything, which is what makes this so important to
me." He pushed off the wall and stood in front of me then,
putting both hands gently on my shoulders.
I looked down and smiled when he said that. That was also
good to hear, but I knew what it had been doing to him at the
time now that he was explaining everything to me.
"So when I broke things off with Tanya I didn't know how to
handle everything I was feeling. I was trying to cope with all of
the emotions of failing with her, the hurt of how she had
changed, and losing that trust. The things I felt for you didn't
help - I just got more confused and almost guilt ridden." He
paused for a second and then reached his right hand to my
chin and pulled my face up so I was looking at him.
"I know that I only hurt and confused you by pulling away, but
it was the only thing I could think to do to clear my head." He
laughed bitterly and kept explaining. "The funny thing is my
head wasn't clear at all. All I could do was wonder how you
were filling your time and try and deal with missing you so
badly. It only made my brooding worse I think. I was clearing
away all my emotions over losing Tanya because I did loose a
friendship in that break up and it did hurt a lot... but I didn't
know how to react to the fact that the majority of my emotions
centered around you." He leaned his head in a little and he
smiled slightly.
"It only got worse with the dance demonstration that night and
the next night at the show. He was always touching you." His
face was scrunched up in disgust and I marveled at how it
remained beautiful.
"I was waking up more and more with every touch he gave
you until I couldn't stand it any longer. By the end of the night
I was overwhelmed and I knew I needed to fix things with you
because I was exploding with jealousy. He was clearly picking
up all the time I was forfeiting and I hated that thought. I
hated it enough to come back to myself in such a way I didn't
know how to handle it at first. My only desire was to drag you
home immediately and make up for all the lost time, leaving
dear Jacob behind." He had a slightly evil and distant look in
his eyes when he explained this memory to me and I was lost
in how intense the confession he just made was. Alice had
been dead on.
I leaned back against the wall and smiled to try and coax the
same out of him. When it worked I reached up and started
playing with one of the strings coming out of the hood of his
maroon zip up. He practically lived in the thing now when he
wasn't letting me borrow it.
"So that night after the first show back, when you and Angela
went into your bedroom and shut the door?" I stopped playing
with his hoodie and folded my arms seriously.
"Oh dear." He clearly had forgotten about that and was just
realizing what that had done to me. "I'm so sorry Bella, that
must have looked horrible." He got lost in his thoughts and his
face drifted a little to the right as his brow furrowed.
"So you didn't throw her down on your bed and make
passionate black hole love to her?" I knew he would take my
joking as a sign of acceptance.
He cocked his head to the side and smiled smugly. "Well even
if I did I was thinking of you the whole time."
I let my jaw drop and then pulled my hand out of his and hit
him playfully in the chest. He laughed and grabbed my hand
again and pulled me into a hug.
We stood there like that for a second and let the seriousness
take over once again.
It did make sense. Edward over thinks things a lot, but when
he gets overwhelmed with something he over reacts at the
drop if a hat, hardly thinking about his actions at all. If he felt
he needed time to sort through left over feelings from his
messy break up with someone he knew and loved for many
years I couldn't look down on him. It was very considerate
actually. He was protecting both of us.
"It makes sense. I have time Edward. Like I told you, I have
been waiting for you before you even thought to ask me too."
The boys had a show in a few hours and I was filling them in
on the previous night's conversation in the parking garage with
Edward. When he and I had gotten back up to the apartments
everyone was asleep in the boys' living room and Friends was
still playing on the TV so we had gone into Edward's room and
he played me some new CDs he had picked up and we hung
out in his room without waking the others up.
"Yes, you were both right, thank God!" I couldn't stop smiling
and I didn't care.
"So, you both know the parents are coming in a few days,
don't you?" Rose asked us as she stepped away from the
mirror to join us on the bed. It never took her long to get
ready since she started with perfection anyway.
With that she lost it too and we spent the rest of the time
getting ready pondering if we should introduce Bertha to
Carlisle or if we should let Emmett.
"Yes they want to spend their first few nights here with us and
then head to the Ritz for the convention at the end of the
week."
"I can't wait, honestly. Alice already has your mother booked
for a shopping trip, but I think Rose and I will go as well and
make it a girls day." We had discussed that earlier and all
decided it would be fun and would allow us to get embarassing
stories of the boys from Esme uninterrupted, which was
ultimately our real goal.
"Turns out it didn't taste like orange at all and there was
nothing easy about getting it out of my system!" He finished
the story with a painful look haunting his eyes.
"Oh good, because I like to call Tyler from the car and set up
our secret meeting time so we can... hang out before they go
on. It helps him make the most of his time at the show." I
concentrated on matching the smugness I had seen in him so
many times and then slipped out from under his arm and
walked away and said, "See you there!" as I got into my car.
When Angela, Jess, Mike and Tyler got there I made sure to
hug Angela extra tight in greeting assuming I had thrown her
too many subconscious death glares in the past few weeks.
"It's good to have him back, isn't it?" She asked quietly as we
hugged.
The boys played and that was normal and fun as well. We all
danced and sang and Edward gave me his cell phone before
they started as he flashed me his crooked grin and said
"Thanks Bell" like always. He still didn't look at me throughout
the set and I still wondered why but didn't worry about it.
Angela and all them played right after the boys and soon we
were all hanging out, dispersed around the venue as the last
few bands played.
The boys were at their merch table since they had enough of a
following to sell things now so I was sitting on a couch in the
back in between Tyler and Jessica across the room from their
table. We could see and obviously hear the bands from this
spot, but we didn't have to deal with a crowd since we didn't
really know the other bands at all.
They looked like they were about 12 years old and dressed too
attention-needy for their own good. I may be biased though.
One was blonde and the other had died black hair. They had
small features and were both rather pretty from what I could
see, but they were also very young. To young to be talking to
my Edward at least.
I tried to calm down and pay attention to the band that was
playing but I was caught glaring at the backs of their heads a
few minutes later because they were leaning into Edward as
they laughed over something he said. Edward suddenly looked
past them and caught my eyes. He raised one eyebrow and
fought an amused smile as I tried to cool my expression and
smile casually back.
The little girl that touched him before did it again and he
straight out laughed at my expression when he caught my
eyes, making it appear he was responding to whatever dumb
thing she had just said.
I was through being a helpless witness and I decided to fight
back. I smiled sweetly and tapped Tyler's arm to get his
attention, still holding Edward's eyes until I felt Tyler turn his
attention to me. I asked him, "Hey Tyler, what band is this?"
That was it. The hair is off limits! He knew I loved his hair, I
managed to tell him last night when we were in his room and
we were listening to music. We were laying on his bed and his
head was curved into my shoulder and I was "helping him
relax" again by playing with his hair with my fingers. At one
point he said I could stop anytime I wanted if I was getting
tired of it and I confessed to him that his hair had a bizarre
hold on me and I loved touching it. His eyes had been closed
but I could envision the look that would have crossed them
when he just grunted in recognition of my confession and
smiled smugly.
So he knew full well what he was doing right now with this
little girl and letting her put her hands in my territory. When
he leaned back up he said something small to her but made
sure to smile smugly at my narrowed eyes.
"This may sound weird but I need you to hug me right now.
And maybe rub my back a little. I'm sorry for how weird it is,
but please I need it as a favor. I will buy one of your shirts if
you help me." I was pleading with him and leaning into him so
I could speak quietly and not let Jess hear my shameful
request. I snuck a look at Edward who was now standing
alone, the little girls probably had to be home and tucked in
soon. He was clearly just watching my show now.
"Oh yeah. How'd you guess?" Now that he knew I could really
play around so I started twirling a lock of hair around my
finger and looking at Tyler with great interest.
I nodded and he went on, still chuckling, "Well our good friend
Edward over there had a small chat with me that night about
how you had a boyfriend in Phoenix and he was concerned I
was getting feelings for you so he wanted to warn me before I
got in too deep and got hurt. He was a very caring friend,
right? Ha! I found out later there is no bf in Phoenix, but Ang
helped me put the pieces together about why he lied." He was
full out laughing and had his hand on my elbow as I leaned
into him and laughed too.
"Well let's seal the deal Tyler, I definiely owe him now."
He turned his head into mine to ask me that and I replied, "Oh
yeah." With a laugh at the look on Edward's face.
I felt Tyler laugh some more and he rubbed his hand up and
down my back once then moved it into my hair and tangled it
slightly.
With that Edward got up from leaning on the table and started
walking over, keeping eye contact with me the whole time. His
face was unreadable, he was very good at making it blank
even though it remained stunning.
His face had moved extremely close to me and our noses were
almost touching when I was fully facing him again. It surprised
me at first and I gasped and then focused on his eyes that
were full now and back to their lively bright green.
"Oh please, I'm not the on that walked over here and
interrupted a friendly conversation." I smirked right back.
He threw his arm around me and pulled me into his chest and
finished laughing.
"I'm sorry Bella, but your reaction was just too amusing at
first. You can't honestly be jealous of me talking to women at
our merch table! I'm there to talk to people so they will buy
things from me!" He was leaning down to talk to me since it
was still loud in the venue.
"So this isn't the first time Tyler has invoked a reaction with
you. You actually told him I had a boyfriend in Phoenix?"
He sat up and took his arm out from behind me. I looked over
to their table and sure enough Mike was distracting Emmett
from doing his job at the table by filming him running around
in one of the little girl's zip up hoodies that was bright pink and
stretched comedicly over his big frame.
I laughed and shook my head as I caught Rose's exasperated
but adoring look from across the room. I knew that Emmett's
uninhibited antics were what kept her on her toes and so in
love with him. She grew bored of regular guys rather quickly,
and I was happy to finally see her meet her match.
The next day was Sunday and Rose, Alice and I had to go to
school to check our 4th semester class assignments.
Great. Now I'm just sitting here with my uneaten food and my
ridiculous never ending battle going on in my head.
"So I just want to apologize for the whole date thing the other
week, it wasn't meant to be serious, Sam stole my phone and
thought it would be funny."
Oh really?
He laughed nervously and tried to sound annoyed at Sam
when he spoke but I could hear sadness in his tone. The
awkwardness that still existed between us was evidence too.
He was lying.
Rose came back in and the 4 of us hung out until Alice was
done. It took her about 30 minutes to get down to the cafe so
we could leave. The entire time Jake would not look at me in
the eye and he would not say anything directly to me.
"Jacob was in the cafe and I think they discussed the date
incident." Rosalie explained since I still hadn't answered.
"Oh, are you ok Bella? You're being very quiet. You haven't
seen or spoken to him in a few weeks, why is it such a big deal
now?" She was honestly curious and I realized that it must
seem kind of weird that it was having such a great effect on
my mood.
"It's not a big deal really. I just feel bad about it still. It was
easy not to think about when I didn't see him, but he tried to
pass the whole thing off as a joke Sam pulled and then said we
could be friends without it being weird, but then he acted
totally different to me the entire time he was around me and
now I know it won't be the same as it used to be. It's fine, it
just sucks. I still feel bad because I realize I was expecting him
to be an unfair part of my life." I was frustrated now and they
were sympathetic and understanding but trying to lighten my
mood.
You don't want to know. Now stop letting me distract you and
bring me home a coffee cake, please :)
Emmett and Edward always got to bring left over food home
from the cafe and often times it was our late night snack we all
anticipated on a regular basis. I had grown quite accustomed
to the melt in your mouth coffee cake and sometimes I would
request it. Edward would always bring home more than one
piece of it whenever possible so I could have more later if I
wished. It was a sweet gesture but I usually walked in his
apartment the next morning to him eating it himself for
breakfast and smiling at me sheepishly when I caught him. He
loved the heavenly coffee cake just as much a I did but would
never own up to it.
The "my Bella" and the confirmation of coffee cake did lift my
spirits considerably for a while.
About an hour later Jasper came over to see who was home
and we decided to go the their apartment and battle it out on
Halo until everyone else returned.
I wasn't focused like I was the one time I beat him before and
he killed me. Literally, about 50 times. Rose and Alice joined
us soon after and were cheering me on, but to no avail. We
eventually got them to join in and grab the other 2 controllers,
neither of them had stepped up before so it was fun
"Jazzy why do you have a purple gun and I have this ugly
brown one?" She made a face and kept shooting at him on the
screen.
"Because I have the laser gun and you have the rifle Alice." He
explained calmly as she shot him in the head. Again. "Which
you clearly know how to use, so I don't know why you are
complaining." He gave her an amused look and she just stared
back at him, annoyed.
"I don't care, I want the pretty one." She was serious and he
laughed at her then tried to keep her from killing him again so
he could show her how to get a new gun, namely the "pretty
one."
Rosalie was loosing horribly, but not because of any of us. She
couldn't get a handle on the controls and she kept running off
of the same platform and falling into the abyss below. For a
few moments thre rest of us had stopped playing altogether
and watched her as she repeatedly fell into the abyss. She
would fall and die, the game would return her to the spot she
last fallen from, she would turn to run away, and then just fall
off the other side of the platform into the abyss again.
"This isn't fair!" She half growled at the TV and held the
controller tighter, causing her knuckles to whiten. "Why do
they keep putting me on this thing! It's impossible to escape!"
Between laughs Jasper tried to help her, "You have to jump
Rose, you cannot run off of the platform you'll just keep..." he
didn't get to finish because right on cue she fell once again
down down down into nothingness.
"I'm trying to jump but it won't let me!" She was now glaring
at the screen and lifting her hands and the controller up every
time she tried to make her little guy on screen jump, but he
remained firm on the ground until she tried extra exuberantly
once more and threw him off the edge of the platform again.
"I don't know but it doesn't seem there is coffee cake for you
there." The most familiar velvety voice suddenly appeared in
my ear and a long pale hand presented a Starbucks to go bag
in front of my face.
Rosalie had thrown her controller across the room and was
now hugging Emmett and explaining to him how her character
had been defective and couldn't jump as he laughed at her.
She then banned Halo from her life just as she had banned
longboarding.
"I guess I can't take all the credit for that last kill, Edward
helped a little by distracting you for me." She winked at
Edward then smirked at me and we all laughed.
"Bella!" Alice exclaimed then giggled wildly and hid her face in
Jasper's arm to control herself.
The rest of the group was snickering and giving me odd looks.
I looked up at Edward for help. His eyes were wide and bright
and he had a very amused version of the crooked grin on his
face.
I just shrugged and held his gaze with the serious expression
on my face. He smiled at my stubbornness and said, "Fine, can
you at least answer a question for me?" He was still being
charming and his eyes were dancing and I was working very
hard not to get mesmerized by the green I loved so much.
He shut the door and I was became pretty sad at how empty I
felt without him next to me.
I let the coffee cake drop to the floor now that the little game
was over and I had practically finished all of it anyway. I curled
up into the side of the couch to wait for Edward to return.
As he was gone the show the others were watching ended and
Jasper was now flipping through the channels looking for
something else to watch. He stopped on a channel when he
saw Jim Carrey, clearly thinking it had potential.
I should have seen it all along. The way I leaned into him for
support every time I thought of Edward, the way he took care
of me without even asking, all the times we sat in the Love
Sac together, Disneyland...
Edward walked out of his room and back around the end of the
couch causing the air to waft as he passed me. He smelled
wonderful, not that it was bad before, the sweetness was just
more fresh after he got out of the shower. He sat down next to
me and offered me his maroon hoodie he had brought out with
him. I saw him take in what I assume was a sad look on my
face and his face became concerned very quickly.
"What's wrong? You can't really be upset over the teasing from
earlier?" He sounded concerned and sat very still waiting for
my response.
I must have fallen asleep quickly after that because the next
thing I knew I heard my lullaby floating into my awareness. It
sounded different somehow. Still beautiful and still familiar,
but different. I opened my eyes slightly and realized I was still
leaning into Edward on the couch and a blanket was over us
now. The TV was turned off and he had leaned himself back
and at an angle where he had his feet up and was not quite
laying down, but definitely in a more comfortable position. He
had his favorite zip up on and one of his hands was stroking a
lock of my hair over and over again in a soothing manner. I
realized then the sound I heard before was him humming my
lullaby into my ear.
"That's good." I heard Alice yawn. "You take good care of her
Edward. I like that."
"I do too." He said it softly and leaned his head down on top of
mine as Jasper continued to strum a slow and peaceful
melody, lulling us all to sleep in the living room.
Auditions for our final scenes were brutal. Not the auditions
themselves, just the process. We were all very comfortable
with each other and our teachers we were performing for so
the small amount of time you actually got to be actively
auditioning on stage was a mild miracle. That's because the
rest of the time we were trapped on campus for about 5 hours
waiting and waiting and waiting.
Each person probably got to go on stage about 2 times that
day. 2 times in 5 hours for about 2 minutes each time. Most of
the time everyone was hanging out in various locations around
the biggest room on campus that was acting as our holding
cell. Rosalie and I had staked out the far right corner of the
room and we had scripts, iPods, a laptop, a blanket, our school
bags, and ourselves spread out around us to claim our spot.
Alice had ran inside first but she started shrieking and hopping
around until she made her way out of the living room and onto
the tile in the kitchen. Rose and I were stuck in the doorway
watching her freak out, neither of us wanting to go further
anymore.
"The floor is all wet!" Alice took off her socks and threw them
right away. "It felt like I stepped in a giant puddle."
The Love Sac was fine, it had a vinyl cover that kept it
protected from water damage. It took both Rose and I all of
our strength and the better half of 10 minutes to get it rolled
into our room (the bedrooms had been discovered as dry
zones). Alice was standing on a chair refusing to move. She
was very "grossed out" by the idea of mold starting to form
under our floor and didn't last more than 10 steps when we
decided to clear the room before she shrieked again and took
her place atop the chair which was the closed dry surface to
her at the time. Now she was stuck there watching Rose and I
do what we could.
We moved the bowl chair into Alice's room and Bertha on top
of the table since she was fairly light. The rest of the stuff was
ok for now and we retreated into the kitchen to figure out what
to do next.
"Boys. That's our best solution until we can get a hold of the
managers." Rosalie declared this as she shut her phone after
failing to get a hold of our apartment managers for the 4th
time.
"Wait! What about me?" Alice whined from the chair, staring at
us with worried eyes.
"Get off the chair and come with us." Rose said without turning
to her.
"You sound a lot like Bella the one time she beat me. That's
kind of weird how you guys do that." Jasper just looked back
at his brother and gave him a concerned look.
"Are you making wine over there ladies?" Jasper asked as they
both gazed down at our bare feet and rolled up jeans.
"Well you girls are more than welcome to stay here until it
gets fixed, you can't live in that mess." Edward offered and
smiled at both of us as they moved into the kitchen area with
us.
"Oh it's fine, I can just get a fan and stay in our room," I
gestured towards Rose and grimaced quickly at the thought of
sleeping in the stench. I didn't want to make things crowded or
awkward though, so I would just suck it up.
"No that won't be necessary." Edward chimed in and gave me
a scolding look like I had said I would sleep on the streets.
"Our parents are taking my room since it has the only real bed
and I was going to take the couch. You can have it instead and
I will reunite with my comfy piece of floor." He smiled
reassuringly at me but I made a face at him back.
Rose grabbed his arm and drug him out the door, Edward and
I following behind them.
Jasper rolled his eyes as Rose spoke but didn't look surprised
at all.
We turned the corner in the hallway towards our door and the
wall of stench that hit us was strong enough to stagger all 4 of
us. It was just lingering in the hallway now, a good 8 feet from
our door.
Edward kept one hand over his nose and protectively threw his
other arm around me and brought me close to him. "There's
no way I am allowing you to stay here tonight you silly
stubborn girl." He looked down at me and shook his head and I
had to laugh a little as he went into protection mode again for
no real reason.
We got to the door and Alice was sitting crossed legged on the
table with her hand over her mouth and nose. When she saw
Jasper walk in she jumped up immediately.
"Jasper come save me!" She reached out her arms to him and
started bouncing up and down.
We had stepped into the kitchen where it was safe and Jasper
was rolling up his pants to go save little Alice from her island
in the swamp.
He got over to her and she jumped on his back, giggling the
whole way and giving the side of his face grateful little kisses
until he made it to the kitchen with her and set her down.
"Thank you for rescuing me, you are the only one who loves
me enough to do so!" She turned and stuck her tongue out to
Rose and I and we just scoffed at her.
Edward and Jasper's eyes both lit up and we followed them out
into the hallway to find Emmett leading his parents into our
horrible smelling vicinity of the apartment building.
"The boys and I will go set up the fans and get the patio
cleared out so if it rains again the situation doesn't get worse,
then we can go grab something to eat and come back to figure
out sleeping arrangements."
Esme and Rose both screamed as they got splashed with water
during one of his more exuberant dance moves, and at the
exact same time, in the exact same tone they both yelled,
"Emmett Cullen!"
They looked at each other and laughed as everyone in the
apartment and out joined in. Emmett mumbled a, "Sorry mom,
sorry Rose," and went back to sweeping silently.
Our night out was fun. We walked there since it was only a few
blocks away and Esme and Carlisle insisted on paying for
everyone. It really felt like a huge family dinner. It was huge
to me at least, being an only child.
Emmett ordered about 3 full meals for himself and made us all
laugh when he started eating a whole tomato like it was an
apple.
"Emmett is that the tomato that was part of the display on the
counter with all the salsa? You know those are for looks only,
it's not like a buffett." Jasper asked his brother as he took his
first bite.
They looked at each other and Esme said, "Go ahead Rose. It's
very nice to know I can pass the torch off to someone who
knows what they are doing."
I saw warmth take over Rosalie's face and in her eyes as she
smiled back and looked up at Emmett who was immersed in
his tomato still. I could tell she was very appreciative of
Esme's vocal approval of her and I had never seen a happier
look on her face.
I smiled back and let my inner 12 year old relish the fact that
this was my life's equivalent of the classic Lady and the Tramp
spaghetti scene.
We finished the meal after all of us girls got a chance to tell all
about our lives and families at home, and our school and how
we all got to where we were. We described the way we met
each other and the boys and there was a lot of laughing form
everyone as we all remembered the elaborate game of tag,
and the roof party, and the very fun beginnings of our
relationships with each other.
"Who's idea was it?" He asked proudly gazing around at all his
sons faces and settling on Jasper for some reason.
"It was all Edward." Jasper said as he raised both his hands in
"search me" mode.
"I hadn't met them yet, I didn't know they were sweet! Plus
they started the vandalizing." He defended himself but he only
looked straight at me and I gave him an innocent look back.
"I don't know what you are talking about or why you are
looking at me." I kept up the act.
The moment got a little intense and I could see fire start to
errupt in his eyes as I felt mine start to burn too. Looking at
him for any amount of time was always risky for me and now
was no exception. I was about to throw something witty back
at him but I didn't get the chance.
"I hope the rest of you know what they are talking about."
Carlisle broke our little stare down with an amused tone and I
looked around to see Rose and Alice engulfed in silent giggles
and Jasper and Emmett close to doing the same.
I blushed right away because we had gone into our own little
world again with everyone around the table watching. It wasn't
a big deal normally but with his parents there I didn't know
how to feel. Esme looked amused as well and she smiled
slightly at me then threw Edward a look I couldn't quite grasp
the meaning of. Carlisle was laughing because Jasper was now
telling him the story of our sliding glass door tag.
"And don't worry about them, dad, they do that all the time.
The thing where they go into their own conversation and forget
other people are in the room." Jasper gave us a sly glance and
made everyone laugh as he explained what had just happened
with Edward and I to his father.
Jasper started helping the guy tune the guitar for the song he
wanted to play and eventually Jasper had it strapped to
himself and was playing as the guy it belonged to stood next
to him smiling and singing along. He was playing Jet's song
"Are You Gunna Be My Girl" and the street guy sang it
surprisingly well. He eventually pulled a tambourine out and
handed that to Alice who started dancing around with it.
"Of course! I love them! They are even better in person than
they are on the phone or in pictures." I smiled up at him and a
soft chuckle escaped his mouth.
"No I don't think you have." It was odd. Such a simple detail
we had never covered. We both shrugged and he pulled me in
to him further very slightly, but enough for me to notice. "It's
nice." I told him and I smiled when I thought about it more.
He leaned his head down to me again, but closer this time and
I could feel his breath on my ear and cheek. "It's funny how
we can know so many intimate details about each other but
skip over simple things like middle names." He sounded
serious and in thought but we both laughed at his realization.
"That's what I love about us though, Bella. No matter how
much I think we know each other you surprise me every day
with little things I never knew before. I love that. I don't ever
want that to end."
We got lost in one of our moments again and Alice must have
noticed because she quickly came over and pulled us both onto
the makeshift dance floor in the middle of the sidewalk with
her and the tambourine.
Esme and Rose were dancing together now and Alice pulled me
over to them as Edward drifted over to where the guy who
owned the guitar had bongo drums set up. Emmett was
already there banging away on the largest one and Edward
only added another rhythm over his that matched perfectly. I
bet he could figure out any instrument you set in front of him
if he tried.
All 8 of us laughed all the way home as Alice and Emmett kept
singing the song, keeping it alive in everyone. We congo lined
half the way home and watched Emmett twirl Alice around
with no effort at all the other half.
They eventually put the brownies in the oven and all we had
left to do was wait and catch our breath from singing and
dancing with all of our energy. We were quite the musical
dance troupe tonight.
I noticed Esme lean into Edward and say something quietly to
him. He nodded slightly when she pulled away and then he
followed her into his bedroom where and they shut the door.
They didn't come back out until the oven buzzed loudly
announcing that the brownies were ready. Emmett
immediately jumped up from where he and Rose were sitting
on the floor and ran over to the oven with a loud call of
"Brownies!" that sounded a lot more like a yell of "Victory!".
Edward's door opened then and Esme rushed out and into the
kitchen. She smiled down at me as she walked past me in my
normal spot on the couch and it held more than just a sweet
gesture. I couldn't tell what else it was though...she had
flashed it at me too quickly.
It wasn't the emotion in them that was off like before though. I
would have screamed if that would have been the issue. The
emeralds that were usually sparkling were just clouded a bit.
And ever so slightly pink...
He had been crying! I was fairly sure that I was the only one
that could tell because I studied him so closely all the time and
the difference was so faint. Well, me and of course Esme who I
knew would have picked it up too, even if she hadn't been in
the room with him when it happened.
"I just want to taste one first to make sure they are acceptable
for all of you!" Emmett pleaded with his goofy grin.
We all laughed and Esme scolded the boys once again, now for
taking advantage of our milk. Edward laughed and joked along
with everyone and his eyes finally cleared up so I felt almost
completely better but continued to watch him closely.
I lifted the blanket I was under so he could sit and take his
share of it like usual. When he got settled next to me he sat
cross legged and set his brownie down in his lap and started
picking at it. As the movie began he looked over at me and
smiled my special smile again which made me happy.
His moth popped open and pieces of brownie flew out and
landed on me as I just sat there laughing at him. I stopped
abruptly when I got hit in the face with one of the pieces
though, and realized how my funny plan had backfired.
"What did you think would happen?" He was still laughing and
wiping off my face as he looked at me with a judgmental and
pity filled look.
He finally got it smeared all the way across my face and only
then was he satisfied and relented his attack. We sat back up,
breathing hard as we recovered from laughter and wiping our
hands and faces off with napkins.
Alice and Jasper were holding their hands over their mouths
and were actually glancing back and forth between Carlisle and
Esme and Edward and I.
Carlisle looked like he was trying not to laugh and was only
about 2 seconds away from having to cover his mouth like
Jasper and Alice. Esme looked like a mother. That's the best
way to describe it. She was smiling and shaking her head in
astonishment but her eyes had a look of concern in them. Not
in a judgmental way, but a motherly way. A "why are 2
children disrupting the rest of the family" way.
I took all this in rather quickly and I could feel Edward beside
me still working on cleaning his hands off, having not yet
looked up. I nudged him with my elbow and when he turned to
me I nodded my head towards the others, pressing my lips
together to suppress my smile.
Jasper turned to his parents and said, "I told you! They do this
to us all the time, go into their own little conversations or
games when the rest of us are clearly in the middle of
something else!" He shook his head at us and we both just
shrugged, not knowing what to say. It was true and it probably
wasn't going to stop any time soon. It's not like we did it on
purpose.
The room filled with laughs and Edward and I turned to each
other and started laughing even harder after taking in our
chocolate filled faces that we hadn't stopped to really look at.
"Now clean up before you get the couch messy!" Esme fake
scolded us with a finger wag. She turned and snapped some
pictures of the others and their various reactions to our child-
like antics.
"Oh that was nothing mom, you should have seen the cake
fight they had once!" Emmett boomed out from the kitchen
where he was getting yet another brownie, having finished off
Rosalie's already.
When the movie ended everyone said goodnight and went into
their rooms. Esme and Carlisle made sure I had my situation
handled before they left the room then they both hugged me
good night, which was really sweet.
He was being difficult and cute at the same time. That's fine, I
guess he could stay on the couch and I will just take the floor.
That's preferable actually, why hadn't I thought of that earlier?
If he stays asleep he gets the couch and I win!
"I'm letting you sleep since you are so reluctant to wake up." I
accused, now knowing he had been more awake than he led
on to.
"Of course I was, don't be silly. I was just trying to see how
long I could get you to keep playing with my hair. It's really
soft again, isn't it?" He looked very proud and nodded a little
trying to encourage me to nod along.
"Not at all, they love you Bella. They love all of you already.
They can tell when we are truly happy." That response made
me smile but it also reminded me that Edward hadn't been
truly happy all night.
"Edward, what was wrong earlier? You said you'd tell me."
His brief touch did the trick and I was able to get another
breath in, then out, then in again. He smiled and then
continued when I visibly calmed.
As it was I could be Bella the best friend and know that the
other Bella, the one he felt for, still existed and was still
important to him. I pushed her aside and knew I would keep
best friend Bella in the forefront for as long as he needed. Our
friendship was the most beautiful thing about every other part
of our relationship anyway.
"I know you cried Edward, I could tell." I reached out and took
his hand lightly, as nothing more than his best friend.
"So sorry to keep you up." Sarcasm littered his tone but he
smiled and laid back down. He brought our still connected
hands up to his hair, which was right where my arm naturally
hung if I let it fall off the couch.
The next day in our holding cell at school I caught Rosalie and
Alice up on the new Tanya news.
Alice had snuck into our room since she was told she was done
auditioning for the day. The musical theatre kids were being
"held" right next door, so it wasn't difficult for her sneaky little
self to get in unnoticed.
"No, I get it. She wanted to apologize and that's a very... nice
way of doing it." I wasn't sure "nice" was the right word.
"If by 'nice' you mean better than calling him and taking up
what would have surely been hours of his time, then yes, it
was a 'nice' way of doing it." Rose always knew what evil
undertones girls really had.
"I wonder what the boys will do while we are shopping?" Alice
wondered as she literally danced her way to my car when we
were free.
"I came home a week later and Emmett had stitches in his
head. Edward had a black eye, Jasper had half of his hair cut
off and my darling husband would only tell me that they had
small 'accidents' while playing baseball."
"I still don't know what really happened but I definitely play ref
at all of their baseball outings now, just in case."
She smiled and shook her head then laughed a bit with us as
we asked her more and more questions about her life.
By the time we got through all of the stores Alice had required
us to go into we each had our own bags to carry, me with the
least at 2. I only got simple things: a pair of sandals, 2 light
sweaters (one in maroon and one in dark blue), and a scarf
that was so soft I couldn't say no after Alice wrapped it around
me. I also managed to pick up a shirt for Edward.
I didn't stop smiling the rest of the day as we sat around the
little deli that Alice had fallen in love with on her many visits to
Melrose.
"I should have brought the home videos," Esme declared with
a slightly disappointed shake of her head.
Esme thought for a second and took a sip of her water. "Hm...
oh one of my favorites is 'Cooking Improvement' and it's about
3 or 4 different 'episodes'."
"So they would just make food while Jasper filmed?" Alice
asked.
"Well Emmett would put together the food and 'host' the show,
explaining the proper way to do everything since he was the
oldest. He called himself Emmett Allen and made Edward wear
one of Carlisle's old flannel shirts and would insist on calling
him Al. Every time he calls him that on film Edward tells him,
'That's not my name Emmett, I'm Edward!' until the very last
episode when he learned to ignore it."
This was the best story I'd ever heard. I was relishing in the
image of 5 year old wild haired Edward in an over sized flannel
shirt fighting with a small version of Emmett and being
lectured by a still calm 7 year old Jasper.
"We need those videos!" Alice squealed and Esme promised
next time they came to visit it would be the first thing we did.
Esme looked us all over once and then turned to her left and
spoke directly at Rose.
Rose just nodded and Alice chimed in, "Please! Rosalie doesn't
know the meaning of the word
intimidated!" It made us all laugh and Rose shrugged and
nodded her agreement.
Alice now looked like she was going to cry and she quietly
said, "No thank you for having him for me!"
She smiled at me very warmly and I was sure she could tell I
was nervous and unsure.
"Bella, I have never seen Edward like this before in his whole
life. I know things have been complicated for him the past few
months, and I know that you have been there for him the
entire time you have known him. Thank you very much for
that. I was very worried for him when he left Forks in October
but after seeing him here, with all of you, I know he is more
than fine. With you especially Bella. The way he cheered up so
quickly last night..." She smiled and shook her head without
finishing the thought then looked like she was deciding
something before she continued.
"I have never seen him so close to anyone before in all the
ways he is close to you. It's very special I think. He wasn't
even like that with Tanya you know, and they knew each other
for years. I don't want to meddle, but I am his mother and I
feel close enough to you already to assume I know a bit about
what's going on between the two of you." She paused and
smiled warmly. I blushed slightly having just been called out
by Edward's mother.
Again Alice chimed in, "Believe me, you don't have to be either
of their mother's to see what's going on between them." I shot
her a stern look but laughed a little and Rose muttered
"Right?" under her breath and shared a knowing look with
Alice.
"Ok I'm going to stop before I say too much, but I am having
so much fun with you girls and I want you to know you are all
like daughters to me already. I'm so glad we are getting to
know you all in person. Thank you for taking care of my needy
boys."
"I don't want to know." Esme breathed and then went into
Edward's room to get ready for bed making the boys laugh and
the girls shake their heads.
I'm still very uncomfortable. Was this too much? Was this
inappropriate for waiting time?
His eyes shot down to where his finger rested right after I
spoke and I saw the fire rise up even brighter for a second and
his mouth opened slightly.
And he did love it. I could tell the instant I showed it to him
and I was grateful I had made the decision to get it for him.
He hugged me and turned his head into my neck as he
thanked me for it, making me shiver as he did so.
We fell asleep that night on the couch together with our heads
at the opposite ends. Our legs were curled into ourselves but
our feet were entangled and he had insisted on tickling mine
with his own for the first 10 minutes we were trying to fall
asleep. I laughed loudly and the only thing that made him stop
was Rosalie yelling, "Children, go to sleep!" and then the whole
apartment laughing from their own rooms.
It was now Friday and the girls and I were at the apartment,
finally free of our hell week of auditions, waiting for the boys
to finish band practice.
I had taken out the trash and when I walked back into the
living room and flopped next to Rosalie on the Love Sac she
turned to me and asked, "If you had to punch one of us in the
face, who would it be?"
"What?"
"If you had to punch one of the 6 of us in the face, like it was
'punch someone or die', who would you punch?"
"I said Edward." Alice chirped her answer out from the table
where she was sketching design ideas.
"Because of all that crap he put you through. I know it's all
good and forgiven now, but it was my first reaction so I went
with it." She shrugged and I shook my head and smiled finally.
"You." She started picking at her nails when she blurted out
her answer.
"Me? Why me?" I was less offended than when Alice said
Edward, pathetically enough, but I still felt a sting.
"I chose Edward." Alice sang out proudly again, then looked at
me. I just rolled my eyes.
"Edward."
Everyone broke into laughter then and Emmett just shook his
head at his brother. "Sorry bro, you are the youngest."
"I don't know." He ran his hand through his hair as he thought.
"Um, who else said me?"
Jasper and Alice both raised their hands and he looked truly
hurt. "Jasper?" His mouth was open now and it was pretty
adorable how hard he was taking it.
"Who did you choose?" Edward asked Rose since they were
still looking at each other.
"Why?"
"Oh God, there they go." Rosalie said under her breath as she
got up from the Love Sac and went into the kitchen.
Rose and Alice both weren't going home because the break
was so small flying there and back was unappealing.
I could go home very easily. Phoenix was only about an 8 hour
drive away and I could make it easily but I honestly didn't
want to. I dislike Thanksgiving a lot. I always have. None of
the food is too appealing to me, I grew up a picky eater due to
my only child syndrome. None of it thrilled me and I much
rather be with my Hollywood family than my parents, to be
honest. It wasn't like I wasn't going to see them in about a
month for Christmas anyway. And to me Thanksgiving was
only an annoying road bump you had to get over so you could
start relishing in the glory of Christmas.
"I can hear it in your voice Bella. That's when you know it's
bad."
That was during the time before tour though, when all seemed
hopeless. Now she was bursting with excitement at the
thought of meeting him and seeing us together. I told her I'd
ask the others, but she should pretty much clear the local
stores of food now, Emmett Cullen was most likely coming to
Thanksgiving dinner.
"I get a real Thanksgiving meal! Bellarina I love you more than
any other sister I have!" He squeezed me too tightly then put
me down, making Edward have to catch me when I stumbled
after being let loose.
"I get to meet your family?" He sounded excited and the green
was resilient and breath taking.
We pulled apart and I said, "You aren't going to be too sad you
can't be with your mom and dad?"
"No. I mean, we just saw them and this way we can all be
together. It will be different, but I'm excited to meet your
parents. And I love Thanksgiving food so as long as we are
eating right the Cullen boys are happy." He smiled and I made
a face at his food comment. "What?" he asked my disgusted
face.
"No it's not. If that's what you truly want then that is what I
want you to have. You can't stop me. I've already decided to
do it for you." He pursed his lips and looked at me like he was
challenging me to refuse again.
"That's very sweet but first of all, do you even know how to
make pizza?" I gave him my most sly look, like I had backed
him into a corner with a brilliant argument.
"Not yet." He smiled back simply. "But I will. I will learn for
you so you can have the best Thanksgiving possible. Then you
and I will dine on my gourmet pizza and it will become our
own Thanksgiving tradition that you can look forward to each
year." Now his smile was triumphant.
I reached and and pulled him into a hug rather roughly, still
being caught up in his words.
I laughed but didn't let go. "I didn't say thank you yet."
Jasper had worked some sort of magic and managed to get the
guys a show booked on Friday night in Phoenix so this was
turning into a full blown road trip. We were going to get to my
house early Thursday morning, have Thanksgiving, hang out
Friday and go to the boys' show, then head back to LA late
Saturday since Edward and Emmett had to be at work on
Sunday.
I sighed. "I"m going to go with no. Alice and Rose have been
talking all day about how great it is we will have some girl time
the whole ride to Arizona." I smiled back up at him, but he was
making an annoyed face now and rolling his eyes.
"I don't think we can make them budge tonight, but we will
figure something out for the way home. Even if I have to tie
Jasper up, steal his clothes, lock him in the trunk, and pretend
to be him just to ride with you." I had him cracking up by the
end of my plan and it made me laugh too, though I
purposefully let his musical sound remain at a higher volume
than mine, not wanting to taint the beautiful sound.
"Well let's hope it doesn't come to that. I don't want to ever
pretend you are my brother. Or my sister for that matter. They
would have to lock me up."
Oh this was good. "And why would they have to lock you up?"
I looked up at him through my lashes like Rose had once tried
to teach me to do to charm people. I wasn't sure I could do it
right, but something was working because when he looked
down at me the green darkened in the slightest and one side
of his mouth found it's way into a smirk.
"You also almost ran into the door." The smirk grew and he
glanced directly in front of us then back at me.
I turned my head forward and saw the glass door to 7-11 only
about 6 inches from my body. The sudden stop I had felt from
his arm was Edward stopping me from running straight into
the door when I had been gapping at him instead of paying
attention not one minute before.
I just scoffed and pulled my head away from his face. This
wasn't helping it was only sending chills down my neck and
through the rest of me, taking my concentration off of my
inner scolding.
"I'm serious Bella. The only reason I stopped before you did is
because my foot hit the bottom of the door first. Believe me,
looking at you is dangerous for me sometimes. Why do you
think I never look at you during shows? Hm?"
"If we have to." I moaned and he laughed and threw his arm
around my shoulders in his regular manner then kissed the top
of my head.
We did manage to get home safely. Well, I did trip and drop
the bottle of Mountain Dew Edward had gotten for Emmett.
But Edward just shrugged, picked it up for me and said, "It's
ok. He wants to punch me in the face and called me his sister.
This will keep me entertained for a few minutes on the road."
Then we laughed together and he walked the tiniest bit closer
to me the rest of the way back.
Emmett looked at him with the grin still playing on his face.
"Oh yeah, I bet you think you already got that spot, don't you?
I know what gets to a lady's heart. Helping with the cooking.
This is Thanksgiving Eddie, your boyish good looks and charm
aren't going to cut it. The woman needs kitchen relief! What
can you offer her there?" He was very proud of his logic.
"Wait Bella. Listen to me. I'm not trying to upset you, please
don't be upset." He reached up and brushed hair out of my
face, knowing that specific touch from him always calms me
down. He must have seen some of the fire leave my eyes
because he relaxed and continued.
"Why can't you guys just get it on and get it over with?" Rose
asked with a smirk making Alice roll all over the backseat in
laughter.
"Shut up." I spat my words out at them and then joined in the
laughter and turned the music way up as we started dancing in
the car. I pulled out to lead Emmett's big red jeep on our road
trip to my hometown and what I was certain was going to be
my most favorite holiday yet.
Chapter 23 - Call Me
EPOV
I watched her drive her car out of the garage ahead of us and
my brothers and I chuckled as we saw the girls break into
ridiculous dances as they always did.
Eddie you said you were going to call me today, don't forget
please
"Tanya."
Chapter 24 - Jump On It
BPOV
I'm not on edge, exactly. It's just that every time Tanya is
involved in anything- ok involved in anything having to do with
Edward- I can't help but get a little paranoid. He said it
himself, it's easy to get caught up in our little world here.
What if she reminds him that there is another world in Forks?
The one he grew up in. With her. One he was completely
happy with about 6 months ago.
I am being paranoid though, aren't I. Yes. Calm down Bella.
Alice shot off to the restroom having been bouncing in her seat
even more than usual for the last 30 minutes.
The eyes were right. They were smooth and green with darker
flecks highlighting their depth and their dance. The face was
perfect as always, pale and angular. The hair was disheveled
and ungodly attractive in it's wildness. The hair. I always took
a tiny bit longer in the inventory of the hair.
Then, light lightening, he reached out his arms over the pump
and grabbed my arms on either side of me. I was still staring
at him in wonder so it took my a second to realize he did that
because I had forgotten to hold myself upright and my back
had been slowly sliding across my car away from him and
towards the ground as he spoke.
He moved his touch away from me then and took the pump
out of my car and hung it up in it's spot. I guess it was done
filling my tank. I still wasn't very aware of things outside the
proximity of his face.
"So Tanya and I spoke, " he said coolly, "and everything is...
good."
Alice, Rose, Jasper, and Emmett were all leaning against the
jeep watching us with amused smiles and various snacks as if
they were watching a movie.
Emmett turned his head and gave a fake cough," cough get it
on cough."
"Bella wake up, we need you," she was saying quietly but
urgently.
I rubbed my eyes and sat up. It was still completely dark out
and we were pulled over at rest stop.
"It seems the boys got lost." Rosalie said with a little laugh.
"They were but the exit on this off ramp had 2 lanes. Jasper
pulled into the lane next to me, it looked like Emmett was up
to something in the back and wanted him to get our cars
parallel, but then the road forked and they took off in the
other direction. Now we don't know where they are, but maybe
you do since you've made this drive before? Edward's awaiting
your rescue call." She was fighting laughter now and Alice was
shaking her head in shame.
"I can try to figure it out but I'm really not sure of this area.
Hold on." I looked around and did recognize the rest station
we were at since it was closer to Phoenix than we had been
before. I really didn't know the area around here though.
"In case you haven't noticed there are clouds, so no, the north
star is not an option for me at the moment." He laughed a bit.
"I bet you really can use the north star though, can't you? That
sounds like something you can do." I was serious now. He was
always surprising me with small, odd, talents like that.
"Oh! I've always wanted to own a boat! But not for a lake or
anything, I'd only want one if I lived by the ocean and could
use it there."
"Captain Swan. I like it." I could hear the smile in his voice
now.
"Master Navigator Cullen, you already know I like that."
"Oh yes, I know you like it." It was the deeper voice now, the
one that gave me butterflies.
She reached back and took the phone from me before I could
say anything more.
"Edward it's Rose, I'll be the skipper, now put Jasper on the
phone please."
"Mama Swan it's so good to meet you!" Alice cut me off and
threw her tiny self into my mother's arms, making her laugh
lightly.
"And now for the main event..." My mother leaned into me and
spoke so quietly only I could hear.
"I bet she has." He said quietly making everyone laugh and me
stick my tongue out at him.
"Well you kids certainly look tired so lets get you inside
quickly. You have plenty of time to sleep in tomorrow so don't
worry about that."
"No Bella, you go in the house with your mother, I can grab
your bag." He smiled once more and walked away.
"Well she's completely in love with all of you, like I knew she
would be." I smiled at that thought.
"It doesn't take much though, does it? We are a pretty lovable
bunch." Edward smiled back and we both took a good look at
our sleeping family on the floor in the next room.
"Are you tired?" He asked me, letting his head fall onto my
shoulder. We were already leaning into each other
considerably, sitting in the middle of the small couch with the
foot rests up to give us more room to stretch our legs.
He reached up and pulled the blanket off the back of the couch
and threw it around us. I pulled it up to myself and sank into
the couch and him a little more.
"Good," he yawned.
It was silent for a moment and I was enjoying the feel of him
next to me when he spoke up again.
He paused and I swallowed. The real her scared me. The real
her was someone Edward had been mourning over.
"I guess you don't want all of the finer details, and they don't
matter anyway. We said goodbye basically. I know I will run
into her now and then when I'm back in Forks, the town is just
like that, and the good news is it will be civil. We left of a good
note, but we definitely left. If that makes sense."
"Yes it makes sense. How do you feel about it?" That was the
important part. For me at least.
"I feel great Bella. It wasn't even hard to hear her voice like I
thought it might be. It wasn't hard to say goodbye and discard
that part of my life. It's not me anymore, and it's not her
anymore, and once she took off her new mask and admitted
we were different people we spoke very calmly about
everything. There was closure and understanding. I even told
her a little bit about you."
What? Boys are so odd, she probably didn't want to hear about
me no matter how understanding she seemed. I know how
girls work.
"I didn't exactly tell her everything about you and I of course,
but she's the one that brought it up and I wanted to be
honest. So she knows the jist of things." He laughed a bit and
turned his head back down.
"Well as long as we are all in on the jist then I guess it's all
good." I laughed again and he reached over and squeezed my
hand for a second under the blanket then took it away and
curled up a bit more.
"It's just you and I now Bella." He said it so softly I'm pretty
sure I wouldn't have been able to hear it if I wasn't so good at
concentrating on him. I'm not even sure he meant for me to
hear it.
My mom shooed us all out and Emmett was more than happy
to lounge on the couch and watch the football game. Everyone
else sat around the living room and hung out but I followed
Edward back into the kitchen.
Edward was soon fading fast, having not slept at all in the car
on the way here the night before. The dough had to sit for a
while and rise I guess so he decided a nap was in order, due to
great encouragement from my mother.
She took him back to my old bedroom to lay down for a bit,
but I couldn't follow because some old friends of the family
had come over and I was expected to be social with them.
"You should just lay down and nap with me. It's nice in nap
land Bella. Join me."
I was laughing now and he was still pulling my arm across his
body, trying to force me down.
"Edward Cullen are you trying to get out of pizza duty?" I fake
scolded and he laughed and let go of my arm and finally
opened his eyes.
"I'm sure they won't mind if you nap for a little longer. You do
need all your strength for the taunting pizza making. Not that
it's a high priority or anything."
"Sorry Bella but I've crossed over. It's pizza time now." He
winked and then in one swift movement he yanked the arm I
was attached to and brought me to his side then somehow got
that same arm around my shoulders and walked me out of the
room.
"Uh, yeah, sorry Em. I've never used it and also haven't lived
here in a year so I didn't think about it."
"Oh do you kids want to swim?" My mom said happily. She had
always been a little sad the pool was lost on me when they got
it put in.
"HECK YES!" Emmett ran to his bag and pulled out his swim
trunks then ran to the bathroom.
Edward had to roll the dough out and put the toppings on then
get the pizza into the oven before he was able to join the pool
time fun.
"Are you sure you don't want to come in?" He said through his
dazzling smile before he went outside.
All too soon it got quiet and I got nervous. I looked around and
Emmett and Jasper were both out of the pool, on opposite
sides, with huge grins on their faces.
I knew what was going on in an instant.
Jasper was too fast though, and he cut me off and threw his
wet arms around my middle, haulting my escape.
"Sorry Bell!" I heard her yell, but she didn't sound too sorry at
all because she was not being carried to liquid misery.
They agreed that it was a fair request and Edward jumped out
of the pool and smiled at me as he dried off his hand and then
reached into my pocket to remove my phone.
"I love you sister," is the last thing I heard before I felt myself
be released and then hit the water.
I found the bottom and stood up immediately. I heard
applause from all around me. Not for me though. Against me.
I was laughing furiously as I got myself loose from his grip and
got my head back out of the water.
"Oh yeah, big effort you put in. I heard you laughing. It was
probably all your idea." I accused him and he just stared back
at me with a very uninnocent expression.
His smile grew. "I may have planted the seeds yes. What can I
say, I wanted to swim with you." He shrugged and I leapt into
action.
I threw myself at him to tackle him into the water but he was
ready for it. He caught me and faltered a little bit but mostly
just lowered us into the water.
"Hey Bells, heads up!" I barely heard Alice's shrill voice but it
got Edward's attention and he removed a hand from my waist
and reached up to deflect the volley ball coming straight at my
head.
He flashed me a smile then let go of me completely. I groaned
and he chuckled but we returned to our friends. A game of
pool volley ball broke out. We didn't have a net but Rose came
and sat by the pool (Emmett wouldn't dare try anything on
her, she could threaten him with much more leverage than
anyone else) and she judged the game.
"Sorry Bella, I just couldn't help it. You looked like you were
finally going to go for it with Big E out there and your father
looked like he was 2 seconds away from intervening."
She laughed some more. "Yeah I was pretty sure you weren't
thinking about anything outside of Edward so I did something
drastic to save you both." She winked at me and I thanked
her.
Emmett ate more food than 1/2 of the table put together. We
all ate and laughed all night, my mother was bursting with joy
at the full house. Even my father smiled almost non-stop and
he even stopped giving Edward pointed glances about half way
through the meal.
When it was over I helped my mother clear the table and clean
up a bit before she shooed me and the rest of the "kids" into
the living room.
I walked out and Emmett and Jasper were both stretched out
in our oversized recliner, side by side with the leg rest up.
"Don't look at me! It's all you and the turkey buddy." Rose
flipped her hand up at him and he grabbed it and placed it on
his stomach making her jump back and squeal and everyone
laugh.
Emmett reached out and pushed Jasper back down onto the
recliner, using his brother's body to propell his own out of the
chair and into the kitchen for the dessert round of the eating
binge.
Rose and I were the only 2 to skip pie, it was another food I
wasn't fond of in the slightest, but Edward tried to feed a bite
to me anyway and Rose was begging Emmett to spare just one
of his.
"Come on Bella, if you haven't had it in a long time how do you
know you still don't like it?" He gave me his pleading eyes and
I almost caved.
That did it. I smiled and melted slightly then opened my mouth
like a child and he set the fork in. It was smucsy and kind of
bland and I still really didn't enjoy it. My face scrunched up in
disgust and he just laughed at me then threw his free arm
around my shoulders.
Now Rosalie and Emmett shared the recliner even though she
wasn't really speaking to him due to the sharing incident with
the pie. She was touching him though, so he was doing ok.
Alice and Jasper were on the opposite side of the couch as
Edward and I, them curled up together more than us,
understandably.
We decided on watching a rental my mom had laying around.
It was an independant movie and it was supposed to be a
horror-slash-mystery type thing so I was instantly nervous. I
have such vivid dreams I usualy dont last well during the night
after watching movies of the scary nature.
"Scared?"
I found that I was more tired than I thought and before I knew
it I was fighting sleep and losing terribly.
"I feel like I have 5 more kids to love!" She was glowing and it
was odd because she had always seemed so satisfied with just
me and now she was ready to jump into Brady Bunch mode.
"Yeah they are pretty much my family. It makes Hollywood
pretty bearable." I smiled as we sat out by the pool without
risk of being thrown in. The others were still sleeping.
"Thanks mom. It's been hard getting here though. I feel like
the past 6 months have lasted years." I let my head fall back
and I took in the feeling of the sun on my skin. I knew I would
stay pale but the feeling was nice anyway.
"I can only imagine. But even though I've only seen him in
person this once, Edward in love seems like a pretty great
Edward too." She winked at me and my mouth fell open.
"Mom, I love you, but you are crazy. Edward is not in love with
me. We've had the feelings talk, sure, but he's just realized
that not too long ago. It's not like me... he's been dealing with
other... things. No mom. Not love. He's not in love with me." I
was shaking my head frantically. Why would she plant that
thought in me? It was ridiculous. Impossible. It was a miracle
he even had more than "friendship feelings" for me in the first
place. Love? I never imagined his perfect love being for me.
Not this easily anyway.
"Oh Bella you don't see things the way I see them. He acts so
special around you. Like you are a treasure he has found and
needs to preserve. You may not see that because you are too
caught up in him all the time, but the rest of us can observe
both of you. I hope you are ready for this when it happens,
because it's coming soon Bell, and it's coming full force." She
was smiling but looking at me with concern. She didn't think I
was prepared for exactly how much Edward felt about me. I
was overwhelmed at the second so I just nodded and smiled,
trying to separate the words "love" and "Edward" so I could
get through the rest of the day without emotional overload.
I kept my gaze on the ground and didn't ask what was going
on, still afraid to look at him for the silliest of reasons.
"Bella why aren't you looking at me today?" He came right out
and said it. It took me by surprise and my head snapped up
and met his gaze immediately.
His brow furrowed. "Of course I noticed, how could I not? I've
been looking at you almost everyday for over 6 months now."
I smiled when I realized it was true and how lucky I was. "I'm
sorry Edward. I just... I've just had something on my mind all
morning and I've been distracted. I'll let it go though, it's fine."
I looked into his eyes and tried to will some of the concern
away but it wouldn't leave. I also realized it wasn't scary to
look at them. There wasn't anything there that I hadn't seen
before, and I had been silly all morning. My silly mother and
her love theories.
"It will be nice to play at home again, the last show was fun."
Emmett smiled at the memory.
"How many kids did you have at that show?" Rose asked the
group.
"Wow, you guys are like the Rockstars of Foks!" Alice giggled
and the boys shook their heads.
I heard Alice give a small, "Oh," and then felt them move
beside me and I assumed he was reassuring her with his arm.
"So you are leaving in, like, 6 months then. Right?" Rose
asked the group again but this time no one answered. Things
between all of us had never, ever been this serious. "That's
right isn't it?" She spoke more loudly but still got no response.
"Emmett?" She sounded annoyed now and he looked
frightened.
"I guess so, Rose, yeah. That's been the plan." I'd never heard
his voice that low.
"You guys and your damn plan! What about..." Rosalie trailed
off. I knew what she was going to say though. "What about
us?"
"Rosie it's a long ways away, it will work out." Emmett put his
arm around her and pulled her into his chest. She didn't look
at him or reply, her face was stone stuck in anger, but she
didn't resist him either.
"So what are we all doing here then? We clearly love each
other, and we know we have time together, but we are
supposed to accept the limit? How is the healthy? How is any
of this healthy?" I was sort of yelling but I couldn't help it.
"Bella..." Edward said it again but with more strength this time
as he got out of his chair and sank down next to me, wrapping
his arms around me. He didn't have any more words for me
though. He didn't deny leaving or anything.
"Things have changed!" Jasper was the one that spoke up.
Apparently my tears made the boys uncomfortable. Now
Emmett was squirming too, and staring at me on the ground.
"We still have a lot of time left, who knows what will happen
between then and now? Please, we can't let this ruin the time
we know we have together. We are a family, aren't we?
Tighter than time or distance? That's what I think. That's what
I feel."
Alice's voice was shaky but she spoke up next. "Jasper is right.
We are stronger than this. We are the oddest famliy around
anyway, right? We can overcome odd situations like ridiculous
time constraints. I mean, we consist of an overgrown 5 year
old, a super model, a midget (with good fashion sense), the
most amazing man I've ever met, a recovering black hole and
the clutziest person alive. We need each other! We are an
oddly shaped puzzle that can't be put together with outside
pieces. Plus, I can promise you none of you will be getting rid
of me anytime before you are laying in your grave."
Alice managed to make us all laugh and some smiles even
lingered after it died out. I was still crying but I looked up and
I turned towards Edward. Worry filled his beautiful eyes and I
hated it. I couldn't fix it but I tried. I smiled at him and even if
it wasn't the most sincere look I had ever given he smiled
back.
I calmed down along with the mood around the small fire. It
was like a huge rubber band being lifted from around us. Rose
relaxed into Emmett and Edward loosened his grip on me but
didn't take his arm from around me. He just didn't need to
hold me together any longer. Alice had crushed herself as deep
as she could into Jasper's side.
Everyone was staring at the fire, lost in their own thoughts but
more at peace than before. We had to believe we would be ok.
Being brought together and being changed so much by
eachother couldn't be for nothing. 6 months would give us
options. We had to believe.
The crackling of the fire was soothing and a few minutes later
a new sound drifted into our circle. Jasper was singing softly to
himself and smiling.
Alice joined in next, then Emmett and finally Rose and Edward.
Once everyone joined in the sound was louder and fun and
sounded more like the real song.
"Our house in the middle of the street, why did we ever meet?
Started my rock n' roll fantasy!..." I made a fake motion with
my hand like I had an invisible mic and I threw it at Alice so
she would sing the next line.
"Don't, don't... don't let's start... why did we ever part?" She
handed it to Jasper and his voice rang out as he jumped to his
feet and raised the invisible mic to his mouth:
We all jumped up, the joy of the song taking us over and we
all joined in:
"I wanna always feel like part of this was mine!" Edward's
musical enchanting voice made my smile bleed into my insides
as he raised the mic out to the goup and grabbed my hand as
he jumped on the chair.
He was a bit late though and the force just brought us both
down together. It hurt a little, I've had a lot worse, and we
were mostly just laughing along with everyone else though
Edward was groaning a little because his body was mostly the
one that took the impact of the ground.
"If you guys wanted to finally get it on you could have just
asked us to leave!" Rosalie snorted out through her laughter
causing me to turn into a tomato and Edward to groan again,
but for a different reason than physical pain.
"Very funny," I murmered as Edward and I got up, both of us
fighting the laughter the rest of the group was still consumed
in.
Every one took their places around the living room, Edward
and I on the couch where we were the night before. It was
nice to truly have everyone peaceful at once again. Edward
had settled in next to me and immediately dropped his head to
my shoulder and my hand automatically started working
through his disheveled hair. He let out another satisfied sigh
and I was still gazing at the people I loved the most sleeping
around me.
I thought Edward was asleep a few minutes later because his
breathing had evened out, but I was wrong. I took my hand
out of his hair so I could fall asleep myself and he groaned
unhappily.
His eyes were burning for a very small second, then he pursed
his lips and went back to being serious.