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EuroTimes (3)

EuroTimes (3)

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GREETINGS FROM EUROSPEAKSUMMER STUDENTS...
 E u ro  T imes 
Articles:
 Arsenal My Heros—
 Amir Kazkhstan p2 
  Jacob’s Jokes–
 Jacob Czech Rep. p3 
 Why Didn’t you see That–
Birzhan Kazkhstan p4 
 Someone is Watching You!
- Adela Czech Rep 
. p5
 
Welcome to our first issue of ‘
Eurotimes
.’ a newspaper by Eurospeaksummer students on the summer academy 2010.
Many differentand interestingtopics have beencovered. You cansee them on ourgroup EurospeakFacebook page orour blog.Give us your opin-ions. Or, evenbetter send usyour articles forthe next issue inJuly 2010.
Our news team:Adela, Lucis, Michal, Jakob, Ruslan, Dorstan, Nargissa andAmir.
Welcome to Kazkhstan—
Ruslan Kazakhstan  p6 
My Family–
 Akarys Kazkhstan p7 
 Tennis—
Nargissa Kazkhstan p8 
  About The Czech Republic—
Michal Czech Rep. p9 
Issue 129 June 2010
 
The
 
Arsenal
 
longest
 
acted
 
in
 
the
 
higher
 
English
 
battal
ion,
 
being
 
there
 
since
 
1919.
 
Last
 
time
 
the
 
command
 
has
 
been
 
excluded
 
after
 
a
 
season
 
1912
1913
 
when
 
it
 
has
 
ap
peared
 
on
 
the
 
twentieth
 
position.
 
Twice
 
for
 
last
 
three
 
years
 
Thierri
 
Henri
 
was
 
the
 
second
 
by
 
results
 
of 
 
voting
 
on
 
award
 
of 
 
award
 
FIFA
 
World
 
Player
 
of 
 
the
 
Year
 
 
after
 
the
 
compatriot
 
Zinedina
 
Zidana
 
in
 
2003,
 
Ronaldinho
 
in
 
2004
 
and
 
the
 
third
 
after
 
Ronaldinho
 
and
 
Frank
 
Lampard
 
in
 
2005.
 
Gael
 
Clichi
the
 
youngest
 
player
 
who
 
has
 
won
 
medal
 
Premiership
 
 
in
 
18
 
years
 
and
 
10
 
months.
 
Francesc
 
Fabregas
the
 
youngest
 
player,
 
debuted
 
for
 
the
 
Arsenal
 
in
 
16
 
years
 
and
 
177
 
days.
 
He
 
also
 
became
 
the
 
youngest
 
author
 
of 
 
a
 
goal
 
in
 
the
 
history
 
of 
 
the
 
Arsenal.
 
The
 
former
 
captain
 
Toni
 
Adams
 
has
 
spent
 
669
 
meetings
 
for
 
Arsenal,
 
has
 
hammered
 
in
 
48
 
goals.
 
Only
 
David
 
About
 
`
 
Leary
 
surpasses
 
it,
 
having
 
spent
 
772
 
matches
 
for
 
a
 
command.
 
In
 
January
 
2003
 
Denis
 
Bergkamp
 
and
 
Terri
 
Anri
 
have
 
hammered
 
on
 
the
 
100
th
 
goal
 
for
 
club.
 
Gilberto
 
Silva
 
has
 
scored
 
a
 
goal
 
in
 
in
 
gate
 
of 
 
command
 
PSV
 
Eindhoven
 
after
 
20,07
 
seconds
 
of 
 
game
 
on
 
September,
 
25th
 
Arsenal MyHeros….Interesting Facts
Cups
 
won
 
by 
 
 Arsenal 
 
13
 
English
 
Premier 
 
Legue
 
Carling
 
Cup
 
10
 
times
 
Europe
 
Cup
 
2
 
times
 
Charity 
 
Cup
 
11
 
times
 
European
 
Fair 
 
Cup
 
FA
 
cup
 
6
 
times
 
 Jacob’s Jokes‘ The Heart of the
Arsenal FC
 
History of jokes
Jokes have been a part of human culture since at least1900 BCE. Afart jokefromancientSumeris currentlybelieved to be the world'soldest known jokeA recent discovery of a docu-ment calledPhilogelos(TheLaughter Lover) gives us aninsight into ancient humour.Written in Greek by Hieroclesand Philagrius, it dates to the third or fourth century AD,and contains some 260 jokes. Considering humourfrom our own culture as re-cent as the 19th century is at times baffling to us today, thehumour is surprisingly famil-iar. They had differentStereo- types, theeunuch, and peo- ple withherniasor bad breathwere favourites.
Something about
A joke is a short story orironic depiction of a situation com-municated with the intent of being humorous. These jokeswill normally have apunch-linethat will end the sen- tence to make it humorous. A joke can also be a singlephrase or statement thatemployssarcasm.Apractical jokeorprankdif- fers from a spoken one in that the major component of  the humour is physical rather than verbal (for example plac-ing salt in the sugar bowl).
Purpose of Jokes
Jokes are typically for theentertainment of friends andonlookers. The desired re-sponse is generallylaughter;when this does not happen the joke is said to have "fallenflat".However jokes have otherpurposes and functions, com-mon tocom-edy /humour /satirein gen- eral.
A little kid asks his father,Daddy is god man or woman?Both, son. God is both. After awhile the kid comes again andasks, Daddy, is god black orwhite? Both, son. God is both.The child returns in a fewminutes later and says, Daddyis Michael Jackson God?
I asked my wife, Where do you want to go for our anni-versary? She said, Some-where I have never been! Itold her, How about thekitchen?How do you get four elephantsin a car?Two in the front and two inthe back.
Something about jokesThe best Jokes
‘ The Heart of the Europe’ -
Jacob’s Jokes Czech Republic 
Czech jokes 
A husband comeshome late:"Why have you beenso long?And don't tell me thatat work!""I'm sorry, but I wasat work.But when everyoneleft, they forgot towake me up.""Do you know how toswim?""Yes.""And where did youlearn it?""In the water."If a vegetarian eatsvegetables what theheck does a humani-tarian eat!?Why do people reciteat a playYet play at a recital?Park on driveways anddrive on parkwaysEnglish was inventedby people, not com-putersAnd it reflects thecreativity of the hu-man race(Which of course isn'ta race at all)
English Jokes 

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