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PPS jokes x 02 children

PPS jokes x 02 children

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Published by 4gen_8

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Published by: 4gen_8 on Jul 09, 2010
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11/14/2013

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Transition Manual
A joke a day keeps the doctor 's around!

An old woman is worried, afraid to die and end all 'hell. But the priest says:-D o not worry, Grandma, you will not go absolutely to 'hell! _ ... How are you doi ng to be so sure? ... "Why the Gospel tells us that there will be weeping and gn ashing of teeth ... and she is without teeth!....

Two friends meet. One says: "Finally it is spring, the plants put their leaves, everything grows, the earth opens and sprouts everything ... - Hush, for heaven' s sake, the answer ', I've buried three wives!

A lady big, very big, is walking down the street. A boy in motion invests in ful l. The lady across the angry cries: - "Why, do not you see me?" ... Why did not you turned around? ... "Madam," said the boy, I thought that was not enough to f uel! ...

Theme. Tomorrow is dead. Schedule: We hope to win my grandfather 's last year co
uld not run because he was still alive!

The morning to go to the office ... the clerk Russian takes a bottle, fills it w ith vodka and go to work. The 'French employee takes a bottle filled with wine a nd goes to work. 'S employee fills a bottle of German beer and goes to work. The 'Italian employee takes a bottle filled with pee and goes.... Mutual!

Class Theme: "A poor family." Conduct: It was a poor family. The mother was poor . The children were poor. The father was poor. The cook 's chauffeur, gardener a nd all the servants were poor!

An old woman goes by the cardiologist, who visit and does the 'electrocardiogram . At the end of the visit says: Do not worry, ma'am, all right, she has a very h ealthy heart, will live 100 years.... The old woman begins to cry ... - But, no ... Do not worry, I assure you that will live 100 years.... - But doctor, says the old lady, I have 99!

An old woman is washing her cat. Pass a young man and says, - Grandma, look what the cats do not wash, because they die.... - But who knows you, says the old a nd continues to wash his gattoDopo a bit 'the young man passes by again and find the old lady in tears because the cat died. Has seen, says the young man said t hat? ... "But no, says the old lady, the cat is not dead because I 've washed, d ied when the' I wrung to spread it!

A painter had done a portrait of the Pope Leo XIII by giving it a menacing appea rance and unrecognizable. The Pope looked at him long and then concluded: "There would be a good quote ... evangelical. The painter flattered asked: "What?" The Pope said this: "Do not be afraid, it's me"....

Notice to customers lords. A Parisian sporting goods store is closed, though it is a Saturday, the day of the busiest customer. A sign on the door warns: "Close d for the wedding of my daughter. I request our customers to return. Now I need them more than ever!

A wife wants her husband to allow a seaside holiday. The wife: "Facing the sea, think of you!" ... The husband: "I like that in front of me, you think of the se a"!

A beggar plays a door and leaving a young lady rather anzianotta. "Oh, you're st ill here! Come and ask the 'charity, eh? ... "Do you think I came to ask for you r hand! "

Peter sees a friend leave the pharmacy and greets him: - How are you? Are you si ck? ... No, I'm fine. "But I saw you leave the pharmacy! - What 'enter? ... If I had seen leaving the cemetery, you'd say I'm dead? ...

- Waiter, the steak is too measured. I want to fill a whole pot ... - Okay, ladi
es, bring a dish smaller!
- Lord like never cry in front of the plate of steak? ... Not feeling well? ...
- No, no, I tried to soften!
Perspectives. Son .- I spilled wine on the tablecloth. The mother-Villain, which
tablecloth? ... The father-Villain, what wine? ...

Misunderstanding. She is strong as an oak, sir, the doctor says, after visiting a guy very healthy and do not understand why I have come here.... - I am the ca rpenter, doctor, I have to repair the 'closet! ...

The husband. - But still, Berta, attacks me or not this damn button? ... - The w ife: - Do not attack anything unless you learn to speak a bit 'of grace ... - Th e husband: - And then, of grace, 's attachment to a jacket bottoncello your hubb y beautiful, sweet monkey! ...

A gentleman across the street, is hit by a cyclist. "I hope you have not done ba dly, says the rider, however she has been lucky. ..." - "Oh yeah?" ... _ "Yes, t oday is my day off. The other day, I drive the truck! "

A school inspector enters a primary school and asks: "What 's for you mistress.

... He gets a student who says: "The mistress is the light!" And another: "The l ady teacher enlightens our room! "... Seeing the 'inspector rather puzzled, rise s then the head of the class that explains: - You know, it' s only one that come s to 'switch! "

A French lady arrives in Italy to visit his sister who married an Italian and th e grandson still does not know. Immediately upon seeing the boy hugs him and cri es-Mon Cheri! ... But Auntie, I'm not a chocolate, my name is Simon! ...

'S anniversary of our marriage, we kill the turkey? ... - But, dear, what crime
has he? ...

A constipated man, succeeds with hard work and enormous effort, to download only a few small meatball hard, hard. So he decides to go down 'ophthalmologist for a consultation. -What? ... Because it came from me? ... Oh, he knew the doctor, in tears, I come! ... ..

The teacher Dina proposed as an exercise, to compose a sentence in which there a re two words: Because.... I suppose. The son of an industrialist writes: "Since my dad has bought a villa by the sea, I suppose it went to see her." The son of a farmer writes: "Since my dad bought a horse, I suppose it's going to ride it. " Pierino writes: "I saw my grandmother with a newspaper under his arm. Since I do not know how to read, I suppose it went to the bathroom! "

Sir, tomorrow I go to the funeral of my mother-in-law. The director: This time,
steps, but remember that the first c 'is the duty and then the pleasure! ...
My son is an expert in agriculture. Not the 'I know. Poor thing, how sorry I am.
My condolences!
The teacher of the class over the photo to his students and says _Quando from he
re to vent 'years, look at this picture will say: This is Luigi, now doctor,' s
another ... now Professor Gianni. Turns out Peter .- "And this is the mistress,
now defunct! "...

Why did you ask the marital separation? ... Since I'm married, my wife does noth ing but get me behind objects of any kind ... And-why did you just now decided? ... - Why only a few days his aim has improved! !

Mrs. White enters fur. The owner approaches her and asks: - The lady wants? ...
- I want an 'imitation kid.... And 'man - Bee! Bee ... ....
Peter in the confessional - I stole a pastry cream ... - For two penance recite
Our Father ... - If I play it four, I can steal a 'else? ...

A beggar in Rome, having cured a piece of hard bread, puts it under a source to moisten. Passing at that moment a group of tourists accompanied by a guide who i mmediately starts to explain: - Please note on the left, a civilized Italian beg gar. Poor, but clean at the point of washing before eating bread! ...

A lady calls the police at night - come to arrest my husband. E 'lying, drunk, o n the carpet in the living room ... - Sorry, madam, is the response from' other end of the receiver, but getting drunk at home is not a crime. After a few minut es, the phone rang again in 'police station. - I'm still the first lady. Come an d arrest my husband. I 've dragged out! ...

At the counter "subscriptions" to a widely circulated magazine, is a man who ask
s - "what to give subscribers a year? "... -" A bottle, sir! "

- Lady Mary, as her son goes to commercial? ... --All right! Now when I give him money for his spesucce, instead of saying thanks, I will issue a receipt in tri plicate with both VAT!

A gentleman is still with the car stranded in a street in Milan. All attempts to start the engine, be empty and therefore the 'motorist decides to call a young man to give himself a boost. After a long stretch of road, pushing, without succ ess, the young man wiping the sweat, asks the driver ': - Where to go? ... - In Como. - Well, then do you call someone else, because I am out there I can not co me!....

After a funeral, a relative of the dead goes to the sacristy to settle accounts with the pastor. These, after stating that long rates have been abolished and th erefore his performance is free, has a shopping list for the 'organ, bells, elec tric lights, candles, and more. The total is very salty. The family of the decea sed can not refrain from commenting: "Neh, thank God, Father, that the dead 't w e have spent ...! "

-How do you know how fast you travel,€application 's indignant policeman to the driver of an old carcass, if the odometer is broken? ... - Easy to ... up to th irty' hours, shaking the bumper. Thirty to forty doors. Forty up, myself!

The original answer is that we have been given an alert by a motorist stopped fo r speeding is as follows: - You see, I had broken brakes and then tried to retur n home soon, before I were a accident! ...

In front of the apartments for rent c 'is a sign that said: - "We rent apartment s to people who have no children." Two boys show up and say: "We do not have chi ldren, we can come and live with our parents! "

-Waiter, you have frog legs? - No, because I walk so rheumatism!
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