Page 2truthfully, out in the open. If we live in the darkness, always hiding things, beingdeceitful, we’ll never have fellowship. Close relationships only happen in the light,in the climate of openness, honesty, transparency. That’s true of our relationshipswith God or people. Notice that living in the light not a climate of perfection. We still sin, andwe need Jesus to purify us. But even that is out in the open, in the light. Weacknowledge our sin, rather than trying to hide it. In fact the next verse says:
1 John 1:8-9
If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and thetruth is not in us.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and willforgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.This is part of living in the light too: I acknowledge my sin, my failures. If I claimto be without sin, I’m fooling myself—but certainly nobody else. I don’t pretendthat I’m perfect or have it all together. I am honest with myself, with you and withGod. I own up and come clean, and God forgives and purifies me, and we havefellowship. That’s living in the light.Relationships thrive in the light; they die in the darkness. Relationshipsthrive on honesty, openness, transparency, and trust. Just like living things needlight to thrive, your relationships need the light of honesty to thrive and be healthy.Relationships are built on trust and honesty. You’ll never be close tosomeone you don’t trust, someone who is not honest with you.
Our family watches “Survivor”—we enjoy the human dynamics.Sometimes, people have tried to win the game
be honest. But in this particular game, the remaining contestants have all decided to lie their wayto top. And biggest liar of all is John, who lies to everyone. To win onereward, John told everyone that his grandmother had died back home.Everyone let him win out of sympathy. He was lying—his grandmother isfine! He lies to the other players but swears on his dead grandmother’sgrave that he’s telling the truth. They believe him! I just want to jump intothe TV and scream, “He’s lying!”Thursday night, one of the players, Krista, made an interestingcomment. “We’re all lying. It’s how you play the game. You can’t trustanyone. It’s every man for himself. We’re not out here to make bestfriends. We’re out here to win a million bucks.”“We’re not out here to make best friends.” Everyone knows that you don’t makefriends by lying to them. Relationships thrive in a climate of honesty. How docreate a climate of honesty?
1. Build trust.
If you want to create a climate of honesty in your relationships you must build trust. People will only be honest if they feel safe. They must be able to trust