Graduating with flying colors was such a fulfilling experience (
the congratulations of everyone, the people’s acceptance, the smile of you parents and relatives and of course, the popularity!
) yet is heartbreaking and emotionally baggingespecially when they would expect a lot from you. I was really hurt when I did notreach the quota of the course I applied for in UP. (
I cried a lot, glasses of water pls..
.)But life must go on so I enrolled in a nearby university which my friends wouldalways say was a wrong move. Why would I settle for a second class university whenI can go far?-This, they would always exclaim. “Sayang naman daw ang utak ko.”Yes, they were after my future (
for the name of the university matters when you apply for a job
) but unknowingly, they were deepening the bruise I had- the self pity and thehurt ego of being not the best. I was little by little losing self confidence and wasbuilding the tower of resentment for failing. I eventually hated myself and was onlystudying to maintain my scholarship. I was no longer happy. There was this emptinessand loneliness deep in my heart.
Before that December night, the Karaoke was nothing but a mere source of entertainment. I became addicted with afternoon dramas and music countdowns of FM stations. I would debate with the announcers and discuss with them political andsocial issues. Once in a while, I would tune in to 702 DZAS, a Christian station thatwas introduced to me by my grandma and which I used to listen to when I was still achild. They broadcast infinite sermons and preaching - God is good, God is love. (
All those I have known since then.
) But there was this particular sermon that wasexceptionally powerful, Jesus was indeed talking to me- I found myself bending myknees, forgiving myself, accepting Christ as my savior and being totally renewed. Thetears were overflowing as I lifted my life to Him and yes, there was unexplainable joy.
The seed that was planted on me when I was still a child grew. I come torealize that knowing Jesus, believing in Jesus and accepting Jesus as my savior arethree different things.I have known Jesus since I was four, being raised by a Protestant father and aCatholic mother. I remember my dad would lead the family in prayers while my mom