These roads I travel are walked alone. I seldom have any companion other than the camera andpen I use and the music I listen to. The places I visit are solo trips. I often hope to bump intosomeone, some beautiful soul who finds that they too are without a companion, another screw up,one who might welcome me as a friend or maybe more than just a friend. I am married andperhaps shouldn’t feel these emotions, shouldn’t think these thoughts but I do even if in truththere has only ever been one love for me. I walk alone not by choice but by the fault of my owntemperament and the mood swings that have plagued me. If ever a man could regret his pastactions then I am that man. Regret and sorrow just lead to melancholia and I have no time forsuch drains on my spirit. I have done wrong, been callous and cruel with a wicked tongue and asulky nature but I am sorry and if I cannot get forgiveness then I will seek some absolution inrediscovering just who I am, just what I am.“
Me used to be angry young man Me hiding me head in the sand You gave me the word, I finally heard I’m doing the best that I can”
“It’s Getting Better”- a song by Song by Lennon & McCartney from The Beatles album Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band
Many of these roads are new to me as are the places I visit. Some are familiar and have been thesurrounding background to my life. Both old and new give me a feeling of depth of belonging, asense of where I have come from and all the possible places I could be. Many of the roads of England are like the veins that intertwine around a manual workers forearm; they twist and turnbut all feed the same pulsing source.The heart is a muscle, one that keeps blood flowing. The soul is the hidden unknown that cannotbe seen or touched but exists within all of us. It is the invisible thread that connects heart andmind and provides us all with feelings of self.I am learning that this gift of life doesn’t end and start as we think it might; it doesn’t start whenwe are born nor does it end when we die. Life truly begins when you start to really love it, reallymean it, really live each day as though it were your last. These thoughts, these beliefs give me suchcourage, courage that I have never had before and if I did lose all self confidence awhile back, andif I did let my darker self rule me then I will do my utmost to never let that happen again. Anddon’t for a moment go thinking that I feel sorry for myself or want to engender sympathy fromanyone, I don’t. Neither do I wish to create an image for myself of being some manic ogre; I amnothing of the sort. I am more the class clown and quite irritating no doubt with my childish senseof humour but I, like most of us, am flawed and my flaw is my dark side with my flammable, illtempers. I think that I have that side of my nature under control but in some cases this
has arrived a little too late.
“Live all you can; it is a mistake not to. It doesn’t so much matter what you do in particular, so long as you have had your life. If you haven’t had that, what have you had?” Henry James (1845 – 1916)