You all know the story of Jason and the Golden Fleece. How Jason was sent on adangerous and surely fatal mission by his half uncle, King Pelias, to reclaim the GoldenFleece from the isle of Colchis and returned a hero.
(Jethro enters and trips)
This is not thatstory. Instead this is the story of Jason’s younger brother, Jethro. King Pelias did send forthJason to claim the Golden Fleece, but Jason was busy at the moment
So the queen gently suggested
(sound of queen nagging)
That he send Jethro in hisplace
Jethro? Oh shit.
And so Jethro set sail for this adventure upon a mighty ship And to man this shipwas any number of fine, well favored lads.
And so impressed were they withthe size and length of Jethro’s vessel that they took the name of the ship as their own. TheDirty Bitches. Jethro showed himself to be an able captain.
You there, hoist that thingy. And you there, hoist that other thingy. You are all doingit wrong, I just want you to know that.
There came upon the Dirty Bitches
a horrible storm,
(Cast sings first verse of Gilligan’s Island)
and to save themselves,the crew sacrificed a virgin to appease Poseidon.
And there was much rejoicing.
But not even Poseidon could stomach Jethro and so spat him back out onto anearby shore.
(Jethro is flung upon the stage. Spits and wipes his mouth)
Jethroimmediately divined that he had indeed found the isle of Colchis and set out to retrieve theGolden Fleece. After looking long and hard
(Jethro gives a smug look and poses for audience)
To no avail,
our daring herodecided to find the oracle and ask for directions.
Here Oracle! Come on! Who’s a good Oracle!
(Ganna and Sypha enter)
Ganna and Sypha:
Are you the Oracle?