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Jethro 1

Jethro 1

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Published by Dean E Mehling
Uploaded from Google Docs
Uploaded from Google Docs

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Published by: Dean E Mehling on Aug 03, 2010
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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10/25/2012

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Narrator:
You all know the story of Jason and the Golden Fleece. How Jason was sent on adangerous and surely fatal mission by his half uncle, King Pelias, to reclaim the GoldenFleece from the isle of Colchis and returned a hero.
(Jethro enters and trips)
This is not thatstory. Instead this is the story of Jason’s younger brother, Jethro. King Pelias did send forthJason to claim the Golden Fleece, but Jason was busy at the moment
Girls voices:
OH JASON!
Narrator:
So the queen gently suggested
(sound of queen nagging)
That he send Jethro in hisplace
King:
Jethro? Oh shit.
Narrator:
And so Jethro set sail for this adventure upon a mighty ship And to man this shipwas any number of fine, well favored lads.
(singing YMCA)
And so impressed were they withthe size and length of Jethro’s vessel that they took the name of the ship as their own. TheDirty Bitches. Jethro showed himself to be an able captain.
Jethro:
You there, hoist that thingy. And you there, hoist that other thingy. You are all doingit wrong, I just want you to know that.
Narrator:
There came upon the Dirty Bitches
Cast:
Oooooh sailor!!
Narrator:
a horrible storm,
(Cast sings first verse of Gilligan’s Island)
and to save themselves,the crew sacrificed a virgin to appease Poseidon.
Jethro:
What the…HEY!!!!!
Narrator:
And there was much rejoicing.
Cast:
yaaaaaaaa!!!
Narrator:
But not even Poseidon could stomach Jethro and so spat him back out onto anearby shore.
(Jethro is flung upon the stage. Spits and wipes his mouth)
Jethroimmediately divined that he had indeed found the isle of Colchis and set out to retrieve theGolden Fleece. After looking long and hard
(Jethro gives a smug look and poses for audience)
To no avail,
(Jethro wilts)
our daring herodecided to find the oracle and ask for directions.
(Exit Narrator)
 
Jethro:
Here Oracle! Come on! Who’s a good Oracle!
(Ganna and Sypha enter)
 
Ganna and Sypha:
A MAN!!!
Jethro:
Are you the Oracle?
 
Ganna:
Why…
Sypha:
Yes!
Ganna:
We..
Sypha:
Are!
Ganna:
Oh..yep, we’re deff the Oracle..sss. I’m Ganna.
Sypha:
And I’m Sypha
Jethro:
I am Jethro. A great and mighty adventurer and I want the Golden Fleece
Ganna & Sypha:
FINALLY!
(starts to lift up skirts)
 
Jethro:
But I know I must pass three tests to prove myself worthy of the fleece.
(Ganna and Sypha let skirts drop)
 
Ganna:
You know..we can just
Sypha:
skip that little rule
Ganna:
Just this once..
Sypha:
It’s been a long time since anyone’s wanted
Ganna:
our fleece.
Jethro:
NO! I insist!!
Ganna:
Aughhh…
Sypha:
Kay!
(Ganna shoots her a look.)
Hmmm….Three quests to
Ganna:
prove yourself 
 Sypha:
I got it!
Ganna:
The first
Sypha:
quest is
Ganna:
Show us your 
Sypha:
NUTS!
 
(Jethro gives look to audience then starts to dance about like a madman. Ganna and Syphaslap their foreheads)
 
Ganna:
Wait! I got it!
Sypha:
You must
Ganna:
Satisfy our 
Sypha:
Desires..
(Jethro rushes off stage then runs back on with a coin purse, jewelry and chocolate. Ganna and Sypha squeal with delight and fall upon the gifts)
 
Jethro:
I have done well. Now for the third and final challenge.
Herpeles:
Giiiiiiirls!! Where are you!!!
(Ganna and Sypha gasp and look upstage.)
 
Ganna:
It’s our 
Sypha:
Older sister 
 
Ganna:
She’s the
Sypha:
Sexiest
Ganna:
Prettiest
Sypha:
Tallest
Ganna:
Sister. The last quest
Sypha:
You’ll have to get
Ganna:
From her 
(Herpeles enters and poses, back to audience veil over face)
 
Ganna and Sypha:
Herpeles!!!
(Jethro falls to his knees in love in front of her. Herpeles turnsand drops veil. Looks down at Jethro with smile.)
 
Herpeles:
While you’re down there!
(Jethro screams in terror and falls back)
 
Sypha:
Dear sister 
 
Ganna:
This man is seeking the
Sypha and Ganna:
Golden Fleece!
Herpeles:
Again! That’s the 4
th
one this month!
Ganna:
He insists on three quests

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