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submissive vs. substandard

submissive vs. substandard

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The difference between a true submissive and those who are merely substandard in every way.
The difference between a true submissive and those who are merely substandard in every way.

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Published by: Mistress Didi Blackthorn on Aug 05, 2010
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05/17/2012

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The Mistress Didi*, Classic Fetish 
™ 
Therapist 
MistressDidi 
1
@gmail.com  
www.PartyDomme.com ◊
www.Blackthornz.com 
 
submissive vs. substandard
 
 
A public service publication
© 2006 
I cannot describe how annoying it is to find so few truly submissive individualsin The Scene. I believe that largely due to the dummes ruining the concept of Dominance, people have come to associate the term "submissive" with thephrase,
"i want" 
. As a submissive, these two words should never come out ofyour mouth when addressing a Dominant. That behavior is what has beenfostered by hoochies-with-whips accommodating kink. Dominant/submissive("D/s") relationships are about negotiation on a completely different level.your goal as a submissive is to serve;
not to be serviced 
.
 
Although I have presented this article with a focus on the male submissive,the same concepts apply to females who present themselves as submissive.My use of the Feminine when discussing the Dominant includes Dominantmales.
 
I make it clear that in no uncertain terms do I present that professionalsubmissives are "substandards", although far too many are exploiting theconcept and the responsibility of being a submissive. And far too manyhookers are calling themselves submissive.
 
I'm sure I will ruffle quite a few feathers with My views and experiences.However, it would be advantageous to read 
for abetter understanding of the true Dominant.
 
Philosophy
 
A
 
submissive
learns technique and safety and takes the Fetish Artsseriously. submissives understand that their greatest opportunity for self-fulfillment comes from true service and surrender to a Dominant. subsunderstand that surrender is not something dangerous, but a state of glorywhere they can transcend the limitations of daily life. The goal of thesubmissive is self-evolution towards the fulfillment of the highest that life hasto offer and he knows that this can be achieved through proper discipline andservice to a Dominant. The better he serves, the better his gratification,knowing that he is being the best he can be not only for himself, but for his
 
The Mistress Didi*, Classic Fetish 
™ 
Therapist 
submissive vs. substandard by The Mistress Didi* ~ Page 2
MistressDidi 
1
@gmail.com  
www.PartyDomme.com ◊
www.Blackthornz.com 
 
Domme. A submissive commits to the Dominant/submissive lifestyle andmost, in My experience, aspire to be owned and collared by a Domme. he willdo whatever it takes to make his fantasy a reality through service.A
 
substandard
is usually a kinkster looking for an orgasm. he pretends thathe desires to "serve" a Domme, but his interpretation of service is to receiveand, sometimes provide, sexual services. substandards operate from self-gratification which they fantasize includes the pleasure of a Dominant.substandards want to take all they can get from The Scene and offer as littleas they can get away with, if anything at all. A substandard's entire goal is toachieve that orgasm. This being the case, they seldom research anythingabout the Dominant/submissive relationship, technique or anything other thanwhat they see on porn sites. The Lifestyle is unimportant to him; the thrill ofkink is.
Attitudesubmissives
know that how they present themselves will determine thequality of Dominant who may consider them for service. he will actually readthe Domme's website to discover more about Her and the ways that he canserve Her
the way She wants to be served 
while offering the best he has tooffer. A true submissive asks what s/he may do and thanks the Mistress forthe privilege to do it. submissives educate themselves to proper Sceneprotocols and welcome instruction according to an individual Domme's desiresand requirements. A submissive is responsible for his actions and takes pridein serving properly. he is grateful for the training he receives and theopportunity to serve his Domme. A submissive receives rewards from hisproper service which, quite often, includes Play. he is willing to test himselfwith the goals of passing the Domme's tests and will push his limits to pleaseHer. A submissive desires a Domme Whom he can truly love and by Whomhe can be loved.A
substandard
has no real intention of serving at all; how can he when heoperates from self-gratification? Therefore, while caught up in his fetishfantasies, he offers lies to himself and to the Dominant. he
 
never READS a Domme's website 
and only visits to view Her photos and peruse Her fetishesto see how they fit his desires. A substandard resists training, discipline andchange because these are not part of what submission means to him; it all just sounds good. substandards bounce from Domme to Domme, looking for
 
The Mistress Didi*, Classic Fetish 
™ 
Therapist 
submissive vs. substandard by The Mistress Didi* ~ Page 3
MistressDidi 
1
@gmail.com  
www.PartyDomme.com ◊
www.Blackthornz.com 
 
Someone to
 
serve his way 
, which ultimately means to serve him. There isalways the agenda to receive his "jollies" and most often substandardsattempt to anger a Dominant with the desire to be "punished". dummesusually fall into this silly trap and the substandard gets what he wants withoutoffering any service ~ or tribute ~ at all. The good thing about this situation isthat even dummes learn to ostracize substandards and the offenders have tofloat from community to community until there is nowhere for them to go forthe fulfillment of their kink. Because their desire is to take without giving, theyare left unfulfilled and empty throughout their lives. A troll is always asubstandard and, usually, visa-versa.
Presentation
A
submissive
desires to be an accoutrement to his Domme, making Herhappy that he is in Her service. In public, he makes sure to pay attention toHer every whim and desire to show his excellence as a submissive and toexhibit the excellence of Her training. he is proud to be a representative ofHer Domain. If he is fortunate enough to wear Her collar, he displays it like apeacock spreads his tail feathers. Unattached submissives offer theirservices to Dommes with respect and without attempting to illicit somethingfrom Her. (e.g., buy a Domme a drink at a party). A submissive takes pride inhis presentation to be someone a Dominant would not only want to Play with,but to consider for long-term service. A submissive dares to bare himself toThe Scene and trusts that The Scene will embrace him. submissives offer atrue value to The Scene; along with Dominants, they
are 
The Scene.
 
A
substandard
either presents himself with flash in an attempt to attractDominants to Play with him or is wonderously lacking in his presentation.Given all that I've said about a substandard, one would think that he wouldmake some kind of effort to achieve his fantasy and appeal to a Domme.However, substandards believe that it is the Domme's pleasure - and perhaps,duty - to believe in his illusions of his worthiness and esteem. Becausesubstandards truly place themselves above the concept of the D/s lifestyle,they always top-from-the-bottom (
attempt to control the situation while pretending to be submissive 
) because as kinksters, they need to manipulatethe fulfillment of their kink. When they cannot have what they want, they pulla "brat" move and try to behave in a disrespectful manner towards theDomme (one can often see this substandard behavior on message boards).The attention they hope to gain from this is completely contrary to their goal of

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