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Chapter 8 - Learn something in an unlikely place

Chapter 8 - Learn something in an unlikely place

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Published by Tom Brennan
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Published by: Tom Brennan on Aug 12, 2010
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08/12/2010

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8Learn something inan unlikely place.
I took a swig of iced tea and wiped the tears from myeyes. Rob was basking in his fifteen seconds of fame asthe next act began. After the economy of Olive’s anatomy,the audience was primed for this performer.“If any member of our audience is lactose intolerant,this is my warning to you,” the announcer shouts into thePA system. “What you are about to see has never been seenin America. Straight from her East African Tour, the womanwho could breastfeed the entire Indian subcontinent….Runner-up for the Nobel Peace Price. Let’s give a warmwelcome to Ms. Third World!”The curtain rose and the music began to thump. Fromthe fluorescent mist covering the stage, there emerged twomassive fleshy mounds attached to the figure of a woman.These were, without a doubt, the largest breasts anyone hadever seen. Ever. They were so big that her tank-top strapslooked like angel-hair pasta. I don’t think anyone willremember her face, but … Oh that rack! It was glorious. The
 
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crowd fell silent. The most seasoned regulars didn’t knowhow to react.Even I was a little ‘al dente’ and these womennormally don’t do anything for me.“I got your milk money right here, mama.” Someonefinally called out to get the attention of the lacteousdignitary.At that very moment, a courteous voice asked “Excuseme, sir, is this seat taken?”In front of me stood a short balding man wearing amint-green polyester suit and a yellow shirt opened to hissternum. The charming look came together with a final touch- a large gold medallion that read “#1”. To complete theoutfit, he flashed his pearly white teeth that looked likethey were two sizes too big.“It’s taken” I respond, “but you’re welcome to ituntil my friend returns.”“Will your associate be long?” He says with a classyaccent that didn’t quite match the getup.“Well that depends on how long this act lasts.” I saypointing over to the huge crowd that had gathered aroundwas fighting to get Ms. World’s attention.“It appears my client is very popular. Isn’t shetremendous?”

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