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A Guide to Pipe Smoking bySomeone Who Owns a Pipe
Bret Hammond
To my dear friends Dave, Dave and Dave. And—someonewithout whom this would not have been possible—Dave.
AWord to the Fore
First things first, let me say this: Ididn’t write the book.I guess I just wanted to seem like a bigshot.Y’know, make it look like I’ve actuallyaccomplished something, but the sad fact is I stolepretty much this whole thing. I stole theillustrations, I stole the text, I even stole the pipe Iwas smoking on the cover. God help me, I’mpathetic.I mean, it’s not like I couldn’t write a book likethis, I’ve been messing around with pipes for awhile now, I think I know what I’m doing, I think I could probably give someone SOME advice onhow to smoke one. It’s just that I haven’t hadenough time, I’ve been pretty busy. Then there’sbeen the whole chronic fatigue syndrome thing.Dog gone it! I could go on my whole life makingthese excuses or I could go out there and DOsomething with my life! Y’know, I probablycould write this book! In fact, I’m going to scrapthe whole stolen book idea and crank this babyout! I’m even gonna buy my own pipe for thecover!Happy puffing!
Bret
P.S. Actually, I still stole a lot of stuff. Bite me,like YOU could have written this!
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