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22985537 Chapter 13 17 Midnight Sun

22985537 Chapter 13 17 Midnight Sun

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Published by Princese_LT

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Published by: Princese_LT on Aug 28, 2010
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05/24/2012

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Chapter 13
Balancing
As I sped down the winding road I knew what lay ahead for me. My home. As the woods thinned out Iknew what I had to face. My family. I’m sure Rosalie had informed them all in her own colourful words of my recent revelations to this human girl. The human girl that she could never be. The human girl thathad been materialised out of my own personal hell. The human girl that was my punishment for being amonster. The human girl who’s delectable scent still lingered with me. The human girl…
Bella
thatactually had accepted the fiend beside her for the entire day. Bella who’s touch had not been a mistakeon my ice cold hands. Bella…As I parked in the garage I shot a side glance at the red car next to me. Any happiness from the day hadgone. I had left it on Bella’s doorstep as I drove away only a short while ago. In hope she’d keep it safe,and welcome just as she had today.
NO!
I growled to myself.
No. I hope she doesn’t welcome it into her home. For her own good. Shedeserves better than me.
I locked the car and just as I thought everyone, except Alice, was waiting for me. Their thoughts reachedme before I had even walked through the door. The loudest was the string of profanities from Rosalie.Then Jasper’s quiet laughter. My father had a confused sense of relief in his eyes but his thoughts wereworried.I mirrored his worries. About my sanity.
Maybe Emmett’s right.
I thought
Maybe I am losing it.
Esme looked like she would have tears of joy if she could. Her thoughts were a buzzing humming song. Adance of happiness and the only words I could catch were
She’s special, son.
 ‘’Oh crap, common ref’’ Emmett boomed from next to the TV before silently adding;
You started this soyou deal with Rose now.
 ‘’Did you want to talk, Edward?’’ Carlisle asked me in a tone that would be used on someone who’d justrecently lost his mind. I stared blankly at him, ignoring Rosalie’s glare, trying to concentrate on histhoughts. The same ones he had on the night I had taken him back to Port Angeles to show him those… Ifelt anger seep into me… those brutes. My fury trickled down my arms and to my hands. I clenched theminto fists as if to stop it from leaking further. Causing any more damage. Justifying the fact I was notgood enough for
her 
.I tried to see through the haze and listen again to Carlisle’s thoughts.
Edward, she’s special. Esme thinks so too. Look at the effect she’s having on you.
I loosened my firstsslightly
. The change that we all see in you is absolute. Turning back from this now would only hinder everything you are and everything you have worked to be.
Unexpectedly lost focus on his thoughts andsnapped my head up at Rose. My fury hadn’t completely waned yet and she had just ignited it higher. Igrowled at her unsaid words and her smug smile told me that this is the reaction she had wanted fromher sick thoughts. Thoughts of taking a pure innocent life of a girl who was only a danger to herself. ‘’How typically Rose. You should…’’ My words fell short as I dropped to my knees and cried out ‘’NO! No. Not, Bella, No.’’ Blood soak through her clothes, from her still, now lifeless cold body. Turning whiter. I couldn’t stand tolook. I threw my hands over my eyes but vision still plagued me and I let another cry of agony slip frommy mouth. The pain was unbearable. As if my heart was trying to rip through my chest. Like it had come
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alive and started to beat only so I could feel it breaking inside me. The ache was almost too much…Another cry left my mouth as I saw myself beside her. Bloody hands and lips. A smile on my monster’sface ‘’STOP THAT, ROSE’’ I heard Alice say in a final tone. ‘’Pathetic’’ Rosalie answered and the visions ceased and I heard her footsteps going out the door. I got upin a quick, lithe movement and before I could follow her I felt Emmett’s heavy hand was on my shoulder. ‘’Cool down, kid. I’ll talk to her’’ his voice was low and concluding. ‘’I wasn’t going to
talk 
to her’’ I murmured to him.Alice was at Emmett’s side now and she gave a indifferent look. I scoffed at her but Emmett was alreadyfollowing Rosalie’s footsteps out the door without another response. Alice slowly turned to look up at me ‘’ I don’t have to guess what she was thinking’’ she whispered to me ‘’But Edward if you only could…’’  ‘’Not now Alice’’ I cut her off abruptly still trying to control my irritation. I turned on my heel and as Idarted towards the stairs I gave Carlisle and Esme a small, discarded look. Within a second I was insidemy room hearing the door close behind me as I went to stand by the grand window. I tried to block outall thoughts but instead was greeted by an unwelcome intruder
 Almost tasted that blood, her sent the ruby pouring from her 
the brute whispered from within. At thatmoment my throat was set aflame and I closed my eyes imagining, welcoming the venom filling mymouth.I shot open my eyes and reached in my pocket for the bottle cap and as I touched it I felt the flamesfrom my throat subside and move to where she had touched my hand. A fire that I could stand. The heatstill unchangedWithout a seconds thought I went to turn on my music system in hope to drown out the bloody thoughtscompletely. As music filled the room I mindlessly started to hum out of tune. No, not out of tune… Thequiet lullaby of the beautiful sleeping girl drowned out the music in my own head.Not long before I could see her again. Of course she didn’t know this. I could imagine her face if shefound out that I watched her sleep. She would go running and leave Forks for good. Part of me hoped forthat. For her sake. Only for her sake.There was a quiet knock on the door and before I could tell her to go away Alice let herself in. I turned togaze at her as I slid the bottle cap back into my pocket. ‘’You’re going to see her again tonight aren’t you’’ she said morosely.I sighed ‘’What do you want, Alice?’’ She smiled at my failed attempt to sound aloof. ‘’Well…’’ She started walking towards me ‘’I think it’s very unfair that you’re keeping my future best friend all to yourself’’ She whined.I rolled my eyes and turned back to looking out of the window. ‘’Your future is becoming more solid, Edward’’ She continued ‘’Every time I have a flash of Bella Sawnbeing hurt, that hazy image is quickly replaced by a much more solid one of her… with you. Always withyou’’ 
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Of course she would be with me. I was her protector. For now. For as long as it was justifiable. In myhead.
Or until she runs from me, screaming as she goes
I thought less hopefully. ‘’What do you want, Alice?’’ I repeated for lack new of words. ‘’Nothing right now’’ She began in a mischievous tone ‘’I can see you’re aren’t ready for
that 
yet.‘’ Thenher voice became serious ‘’But the more you try and run from her, the more you can’t. So why not juststop, Edward. Stop and just accept…’’  ‘’…that I might kill her one day’’ I finished for her. ‘’No’’ She said is a louder more sarcastic tone.I saw her eyes narrow in the reflection of the window and I let my head drop. She was standing next tome now. ‘’ You won’t do that. And you know it. You would have done it already if that was the to be, Edward. AndI was going to say that you need to accept her as part of your life now.’’ I said nothing. ‘’And mine’’ She added quietly ‘I have to go’’ I said abruptly. I didn’t even wait for her response as I ran out of the house. Racingthrough the woods as fast as possible. I was halfway to her house when I realised the irony of it all. Ishould be running
away 
from Bella Swan. Not towards her. Running far far away from her. Leaving her toa life she was worthy of. Not obliterating it with every stride I took. It’s as if I had no control over myself.Right and wrong. It was all a chaotic blur. Completely tangled with one other. Just like Bella and I. Twoopposites that were being thrown together. She was right, beautiful and pure. I was wrong, monstrousand tainted.I stopped my thoughts in front of her house. My mind was telling my body that each step I was takingwas wrong and I should turn back. But that voice was fading the closer I got to her room. I quietlyslipped through the window and just as if she knew, she welcomed me through her slumber with a lightmummer of my name. All the happiness was back. She bought it inside with her. It was here in her room.I stood very still and waited for her stirring to ease while saying my name over and over. It felt like I washome.
This is wrong. So wrong.
I growled.I waited another moment before I heard her steady breathing. Relaxed now I was conflicted betweenwalking towards her or going to take my usual place on the rocking chair.
No more mistakes
I reminded myself The rocking chair won. As I sat there her scent swirled all around me. Encroaching me all over again. Butit was getting a lot easier, even the monster was quiet. I wanted to go over and stroke her cheek. Just tofeel her soft, warm skin for one last time.
 And then again for the last time. And again…
I was weak and greedy when it came to Bella. I just wantedmore and I knew I wouldn’t… Couldn’t stop myself.
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