THE BUBO

BY Anthony Forkush

An apartment in San Diego. It is ramshackle with crap everywhere. In the middle of the
living room is a dilapidated Christmas tree. Oldies play on the radio.

The bedroom door opens and Maddie comes out. She is a Hispanic woman who is pretty
in spite of her poundage. She drops down to the floor and gathers some Christmas
presents for her daughter, who is sleeping in the other room.

She lights a cigarette and turns up the music. She changes it from oldies to hip hop, then
to rock. She gets the phone. Turns up the volume some more then turns it down.

The phone rings in her hand. She answers.

MADDIE:

Hello? Hey. Where are you? Oh yeah. You’re where? Oh yeah…no you got on the wrong
freeway. You gotta start over from the other side. Yeah, the other side. That’s the wrong
freeway. Okay where are you now? Okay, like, where are you now? Can you get off the
freeway? Just get off the freeway and get off on the other side. Yeah, the other side.
That’s gonna take you back the way you came to the other side. Okay, call me back when
you get here. Okay bye.

She hangs up the phone. From the bedroom we hear the sound of her daughter calling

BABY GIRL:
Mama. Mama. Ah hah hah hah (she cries)

MADDIE:
It’s okay Iris (pronounced ee’rees). What do you want? You want something? I can get
you something if you want it. What do you want? You want something?

BABY GIRL:
(cries) awww hawwww.

MADDIE:
(exasperated) God damn it. What do you want? I don’t understand what you want. Tell
me. How am I supposed to know. Huh? Iris? What is it? Just tell me and I’ll get it for
you. You want something?

Maddie is laying out a line of speed. She picks up a straw and quickly snorts up the
powder. Her eyes roll back into her head and she sags to the earth. She tries to get up and
falls down again. She picks up a beer she has been drinking and falls down again.
 MADDIE:
Fuck. I’m fucked up.

She disappears behind the couch then springs up onto her feet. She runs around the
apartment really fast, no boundaries. She starts ramming into shit. Her daughter is calling
from the other room.

DAUGHTER:
Mommy..momi. auuuuhawwhuuu.

MADDIE:
Yeah. Hey…I’m coming. Don’t worry. I’m coming. I got your thing that you wanted that
you told me that you needed. I got it right here. It’s right here. Don’t worry baby. I’m
gonna be right there I’m gonna come to you now and just don’t worry.

Maddie starts taking off her sweater and we see her t-shirt and sweats. She drinks more
beer. The phone rings.

MADDIE:
Hello? (she is running around) yeah. Who is this? Oh Cotcho. Where are you? You’re
still at the pier? Yeah, he’s gonna be here. I said he’s gonna be here now. Right now. Just
come over. Bring it. Just bring it. You know. Wait I gotta another call. (she picks up call
waiting) Hello. Hi. Where are you? Yeah. Okay. You’re at the taco stand? Uh huh. Can
you get some cigarettes at the store? And some nylons? And some jack? And some
turkey? Wild Turkey? Can you get some gum? And some peanuts? Can you get me some
flour and some tortillas? Can you get me some papitas y pipinos? Can you get some
gefilte fish and matzos? Can you get me high? Can you get me high?

LIGHTS OUT

LIGHTS UP

The Christmas tree lights are going on and off in an epileptic way. The light in the room
is real dark. We can make out two figures. Maddie and her brother, Cotcho. Cotcho’s
back is to us. He is looking in the mirror. He has something in his hand.

MADDIE:
Damn, he shoulda been here by now right? Right Cotcho?

Cotcho doesn’t respond, just keeps looking at himself in the mirror.

MADDIE:
I hope he remembers the Cerveza. (Pause) And the conch shells. (Pause) And the respino.
Right Cotcho?

Silence. Cotcho moves a touch.

Silence. Cotcho turns around to face Maddie. He has a spear gun in his hand and a
gigantic growth on the left side of his face. He speaks in a high pitched lightly voiced
tone.
COTCHO:
Yeah. He was gonna come later. (pause) He was gonna be here later. (pause).
Where is he now?

MADDIE:
At the taco shop.

COTCHO:
El Brombero?

MADDIE:
No. El yucadores

COTCHO:
Oh. Okay.

Cotcho walks over to the sofa. He sits down next to Maddie. They look at each other for
about thirty seconds to forty five seconds without a sound. Then:

COTCHO:
Let’s go.

LIGHTS OUT

LIGHTS UP

Maddie is sitting on the couch with a man, Eric. Cotcho is in a chair on the other side of
the room glaring at him. Cotcho has the spear gun in his hand.

Long silence. The music of “War” is playing in the background (“Low Rider”).

ERIC:

(Tentatively) Nice place. (pause). You lived here a long time?

MADDIE:

Not too long. Ten years.

ERIC:

That’s cool. (pause) (To Cotcho, very tentative) You live here, do you?
Cotcho just glares at him saying nothing.

ERIC:

(uncomfortable) That’s’ cool.

No one says anything for about a minute.

Both Maddie and Eric speak at the same time.

ERIC:

So where you able to get…

MADDIE:

So how much where you thinking of….

ERIC:

Oh, I’m sorry you were saying…?

MADDIE:

No no it’s cool… I wasn’t saying anything but I was…

ERIC:

Oh yeah (pause). That’s cool. Hah hah hah. (pause). (To Cotcho, warily) I’m sorry, what
did you say your name was again?

COTCHO:

(dryly) Cotcho.

ERIC:

Cotcho? (pause). Did you say your name was Cotcho?

Cotcho nods

ERIC:

Cotcho. (pause) Cotcho mi Culo. (he laughs at his little joke)

Cotcho remains stone faced

 MADDIE:
(lights a cigarette)

You wanta beer or something? Tuna Sandwich something?

ERIC:

Oh sure. That’s sounds pretty good.

Maddie looks at Cotcho then leaves to the kitchen. We hear the baby from the other
room.

BABY:

Mwahhhh.

Eric is quite startled. He doesn’t know what that was.

ERIC:

You have chickens?

COTCHO:

No. That’s a baby.

ERIC:

Your baby?

COTCHO:

No.

ERIC:

Her baby?

COTCHO:

Uh huh.

Silence.
Cotcho is turning his head at an angle that accentuates the gigantic bubo on his face.
 ERIC:
(big pause)
Can I ask you something?

COTCHO:

Uh huh.

ERIC:

I don’t mean to be too personal but uh…How did you get that growth on your face?

(pause)

COTCHO:

What growth?

ERIC:

The rather large bulbous one.

COTCHO:

You mean this one?

(Cotcho points to it with the tip of his spear gun)

ERIC:

Hmm mmh.

COTCHO:

I don’t remember.

ERIC:

It’s really nothing. I mean you can hardly notice it. I was just curious if you….

Out of nowhere, Cotcho exudes a violent, high pitched noise for about three seconds. Eric
is rather disturbed at this and stops his inquiry. Pause. The baby cries.

BABY:

Yahhawwww-wah.
Eric is chilled and says nothing. Pause. Maddie comes back with a plate of something.

MADDIE:

I couldn’t find anything so I made this.

ERIC:

Thank you. (he looks at it in horror) Oh god! It looks…delicious.

Eric digs into the disgusting whatever and stifles a vomit.

ERIC:

Wow! That’s really good!

MADDIE:

Thanks. I cooked it.

ERIC:

(way too over the top) REALLY? No, I mean not “really”…hah hah. I’m sure you’re a
great cook. Right Cotcho?

Cotcho glares at him.

ERIC:

Really, just super good. Hmm mmh. Boy, I’m full. Delicious.

COTCHO:

You want some more?

ERIC:

Lemme see. (pause) I think I’ll say no.

Cotcho and Maddie start speaking to each other in Spanish, but it’s not real Spanish, it’s a
kind of unintelligible Spanish. Their banter starts getting heated. They are now yelling at
each other. Cotcho gets up threateningly to Maddie. Maddie starts cowering, clutching
Eric. The baby cries
 BABY:

Waawaawa

ERIC:

What’s wrong? Is everything okay?

MADDIE:

No.

ERIC:

What’s the matter?

COTCHO:

(SPANISH GIBBERISH) Hastalutono. Yo prensa mi da usteda. Come se fueda no

piense.

MADDIE:

Fuck you!

ERIC:

Fuck me?

MADDIE:

No. Fuck him.

ERIC:

Why? What happened. I don’t understand. I loved the food. Here (he eats some more).
It’s really good. (refers to the food) What is it?

MADDIE:

(crying, ashamed) I have no idea.

 ERIC:

(Confused) That’s okay. You don’t have to have a name for it. I mean, why do we have
to call everything by a name. You know? Right? Cotcho?

COTCHO:

(Furious but quiet) What?

ERIC:

(scared) What?

COTCHO:

What did you just say to me?

ERIC:

What do you mean. What did I just say to you? Is that the question?

Silence. Maddie is completely wrapped around Eric. Cotcho moves towards the couch.
Pause. He picks up the food and starts eating it. Then he puts it down on the table.

COTCHO:

Finito!

He leaves to the babies room.

ERIC:

Wow. What was that all about?

MADDIE:

Nothing. He just gets jealous that’s all.

ERIC:

I’ll say. (pause) So, do you have the…

 MADDIE:

I can’t even have any friends over, you know. He makes everybody nervous with that
spear gun.

ERIC:

What spear gun?

MADDIE:

The one he was holding. You didn’t notice it?

ERIC:

That’s what that was?

MADDIE:

Yeah. You couldn’t tell?

ERIC:

I had no idea. I wasn’t sure what he was holding. (pause) Is it loaded?

MADDIE:

I’m not sure. He’s always had it.

ERIC:

What do you mean he’s always had it?

MADDIE:

Since he was five. My papa gave it to him. That’s was before my papa died.

ERIC:

Oh my gosh. I’m sorry. When did your papa die?

MADDIE:

Many years ago. When Cotcho was five.

 ERIC:

Do you mind my asking what he died of?

MADDIE:

No.

(pause)

ERIC:

So, what did he die of?

MADDIE:

A small harpoon threw his head. (She breaks down, crying).

(pause)

ERIC:

Oh my god. (pause) You mean Cotcho…

MADDIE:

(Angrily) What?! You think Cotcho did it?! What’s the matter with you?

She gets up off the couch and moves to the other side of the room. She lights a cigarette.

ERIC:

I’m sorry. I didn’t understand. I mean I thought that, you know, he has a spear gun and
your popi died from a harpoon through his head…

MADDIE:

What the fuck are you talking about? Cotcho was five years old. How can you say that?
(Cries more violently).

ERIC:

No no. I’m not saying anything. I just thought that you meant…
 MADDIE:

I meant what? WHAT?

ERIC:

That he…that your popi…never mind.

MADDIE:

(Pause). Yeah. That’s okay. It’s okay. Hey. (She gets a packet of speed) Fuck it, right?
No problem.

She pours some out on the table.

ERIC:

I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…

MADDIE:

What time do you have to go?

ERIC:

Not for a while. I mean, it took me four hours to get here, then two more to find you, so
I’m cool. Why?

MADDIE:

I was thinking, you wanna go to TJ?

ERIC:

You mean Tijuana (he pronounces it Tiya-wana)?

MADDIE:

Yeah. I know a guy who can get us a whole bunch of this. We can bring it back and sell it
and get a shitload.
 ERIC:

Well, I’m not sure about that.

MADDIE:

You scared?

ERIC:

No, I’m just thinking, you know. What if we get caught?

MADDIE:

Yeah. Maybe you’re right. What if we get caught.

(she has an idea)

We’ll bring Cotcho.

Cotcho enters.

COTCHO:

You’ll bring me where?

They all look at each other.

LIGHTS OUT

LIGHTS UP

The three of them are in a car heading to TJ. Cotcho is driving. Maddie is in the front seat
and Eric is in the back.

ERIC:

You know, I’m not sure if this is a good idea.

COTCHO:

What’s the matter. (mockingly) Are you scarrrrrrred? (Cotcho laughs a high pitched type
of laugh and then finishes it suddenly with a girlish blurt).
 ERIC:

What is that?

MADDIE:

What is what?

ERIC:

That noise?

MADDIE:

(She looks at Cotcho) You want to tell him?

COTCHO:

You tell him.

MADDIE:

Icholay!

ERIC:

Tell me what? What is it?

MADDIE:

Cotcho has a deviated septum along with a form of turrets syndrome. It causes him to
blurt things out.

ERIC:

Really?

COTCHO:

That’s true.

ERIC:

Wow.
(pause)

MADDIE:

Okay. We’re coming to the border. Just stay calm.

ERIC:

Oh man. I don’t know if this is a good idea.

COTCHO:

Okay. Put the baby in the back.

MADDIE:

He’s got the baby.

COTCHO:

Okay. Put the baby up front.

ERIC:

What baby?

COTCHO:

Hah hah. Very funny. Give Maddie the baby please.

MADDIE:

Just hand her to me, she won’t mind. Right Iris? Baby boobie.

ERIC:

What the hell are you talking about? I don’t have the baby.

COTCHO:

(Yells) HEY! GIVE MADDIE THE BABY RIGHT NOW! WE’RE ALMOST AT THE
BORDER!
 ERIC:

(Freaking) Are you fucking crazy. I don’t have the baby. I never even saw the baby.
What the fuck is going on?

(pause)

COTCHO:

(Slowly to Maddie) Maddie?

Maddie starts crying.

COTCHO:

Oh shit. (fake Spanish) yo lolo. Y se compremiento stu casa de amiga no puro. My god!

MADDIE:

I’m sorry, all right! How the fuck was I supposed to know he didn’t take her?

ERIC:

Wait a minute. You left the baby back at the apartment?

MADDIE:

I thought I told you to take her. You said you had her. Didn’t you?

ERIC:

Are you out of your mind? You never told me to take your baby. I don’t even know what
your baby looks like, for god’s sake. How can you have forgot your baby?

COTCHO:

Yo! Calm down, por favor. We gotta figure this out.

ERIC:

Well, we gotta turn back. Let’s turn back.

MADDIE:

NO FUCKING WAY! WE’RE NOT FUCKING TURNING BACK MAN!

 COTCHO:

CALM DOWN MIJA! (HE BLURTS OUT IN TURRETS FORM) FINITO!

ERIC:

Oh man, this is fucked up. This is really fucked up. Is there someone you can call, huh?

COTCHO:

(Points the spear gun at Eric) That’s enough. No more talk. We are almost there. Silencio.
(They come to the border gate).

COTCHO:

Hello officer. (answers an officer) We’re going to see some relatives. Yes sir. No we’re
not carrying anything at all. What is this? Oh, it’s a spear gun. For fishing. We’re going
to go fishing. Good weather this weekend. Hah hah.

They continue driving.

LIGHTS OUT

LIGHTS UP

They are still in the car. Maddie is now driving and Cotcho is in the passenger seat. He
has the spear gun and is sticking it into his bubo. Eric is asleep.

MADDIE:

Where are we?

COTCHO:

Keep driving. We’re almost there.

MADDIE:

What time is it?

COTCHO:

Same as it always is: Now.

 MADDIE:

(Sarcastically) Oh, you’re so profound.

COTCHO:

Ha ha. Very funny.

MADDIE:

Is he still sleeping?

COTCHO:

Of course.

MADDIE:

That’s crazy. You gave him enough horse tranquilizers to knock out a horse. (pause)
What are we going to do with him?

COTCHO:

Siesta permanente.

MADDIE:

You know, he’s kind of nice. I mean, you know, do we have to?

Cotcho looks at her but says nothing.

MADDIE:

Cotcho?

COTCHO:

Hmmm?

MADDIE:

What really happened to papa?

Cotcho is annoyed at this.

MADDIE:

I’m sorry. I don’t mean to bring it up again, but I haven’t asked you for a long time now.

Cotcho says nothing.

MADDIE:

Mama said…

COTCHO

(blurts) NO! ENOUGH!

MADDIE:

Why did you leave me in the room alone with him back at the casa?

COTCHO:

The CD in the bedroom was skipping.

MADDIE:

Oh. I wasn’t sure what the problem was. Next time we should get someone to do the baby
voice in person. What if you couldn’t fix it?

COTCHO:

I tried to get your sister but she didn’t want to.

MADDIE:

Where are we taking him?

COTCHO:

You’ll see. We’re almost there.

Eric wakes up in the back seat.

ERIC:

Oh. I fell asleep. Where are we?

 COTCHO:

The only place we could be: Here.

ERIC:

Where?

COTCHO:

Right here. Right where you are.

ERIC:

Oh. That’s cool. (pause) What, is that Nietzsche? Did you get someone to watch out for
Iris?

MADDIE:

Uh huh.

ERIC:

Man, that totally freaked me out. Did that freak you out as much as it freaked me out?
Well, that’s a stupid question she’s your daughter man, I mean…

COTCHO:

Finito! Pull over there. (she does. The car stops.) It’s time to get out.

ERIC:

Get out? Man, I’m not getting out of this car. I’ll wait here until you guys get back.

COTCHO:

Get out of the car please.

ERIC:

Why? I don’t want to get out of the car, I said. I don’t want to get involved in your
transaction whatever it is. (pause) What is it?
 COTCHO:

You are the transaction. Get out.

MADDIE:

Cotcho. Please.

COTCHO:

NOW!

Cotcho gets out first then points his spear gun at Eric through the window.

ERIC:

Maddie. What is this? What the fuck is going on?

MADDIE:

Just get out Eric. Don’t make it difficult.

ERIC:

Oh my god. No, please. I don’t understand.

MADDIE:

Get out!

Maddie pulls out a revolver and gets out of the car. She is holding it through the back
window on the other side of the car at Eric.

ERIC:

Oh no. Please. Don’t do this. I don’t need anything. What the fuck did I do?

Cotcho pulls him out of the back seat.

COTCHO:

You exist! Get down on the ground.

 ERIC

(crying) Oh god. No. Please. I won’t tell anyone. I didn’t mean to leave the baby. Please
don’t do this. Oh my god. Mama. Please, I want my mama.

MADDIE:

At least you have a mama. Iris never had a mama.

ERIC:

What does that mean?

COTCHO:

No more talk.

Cotcho puts the spear gun at Eric’s temple while Maddie puts it the revolver to the back
of his head.

ERIC:

NO! PLEASE DON’T KILL ME! PLEASE. I WON’T TELL ANYONE. PLEASE!

COTCHO:

Prepare to meet the square root.

Cotcho is about to pull the trigger but Maddie back up and fires a single shot through
Cotcho’s heart.

COTCHO:

Ay, mi hermana. Betrayal.

He falls and dies.

Maddie cries. She walks back away from Cotcho. Eric slowly gets up.

MADDIE:

There. It is done. Finito.

 ERIC:

Are you all right? Are you hurt?

MADDIE:

No. I’m fine.

ERIC:

Jesus Christ, you fucking scared the shit out of me. I didn’t think you were going to do it.

MADDIE:

I couldn’t find the gun. You didn’t leave it where we said.

ERIC:

I had about ten seconds to leave it under the dashboard, for God’s sake.

He comes to Maddie, takes the gun.

ERIC:

I’m proud of you. You didn’t disappoint me.

He caresses her. They embrace.

ERIC:

I love you.

Eric kisses her.

ERIC:

We should go.

Eric begins to get into the car. Maddie grabs the spear gun from Cotcho’s body and fires
the spear through Eric’s heart. Eric spins around and look at her.

ERIC:

Oh God. Betrayal.
He dies.

Maddie drops the spear gun. She wanders out to the front of the car aimlessly.

MADDIE:

Iris? Iris. Wah wah. Uh wah wah.

LIGHT OUT

CURTAIN.