PREGNANT SEX

Chapter 5 Excerpt from DROP DEAD LIFE: A Pregnant Widows Heartfelt and Often Comic Memoir about Death, Birth, and Rebirth
By Hyla Molander

CHAPTER FIVE

Excerpt from forthcoming Drop Dead Life: A Pregnant Widows Heartfelt and Often Comic Memoir about Death, Birth, and Rebirth

I admired Erik in the shower that Easter Sunday morning. Black hair. Deep brown eyes. Broad masculine shoulders covered by smooth olive skin. Steam filled the bathroom, like the fog that frequently hovered over the nearby Golden Gate Bridge. I could only see parts of Eriks body through the hazy, glass shower doors. He sat against the corner of the tub, as he always did, carefully scraping the skin off of his well-manicured feet. I pulled out an assortment of maternity clothes from the closet and set them on the bathroom counter. Knowing wed be taking family photos

during Tatianas first real Easter egg hunt, I wanted to look better than I felt at seven months pregnant. Ugh! I groaned. Erik turned off the shower, dried himself, and then wrapped a plush white towel around his waist. Need some help with that? These damn jeans! I shook my head, annoyed by the accumulating sweat at the base of my long brown hair. Yeah, you can help. Help me not be such a house every time you knock me up. He put some gel in his hair. Oh, honey, you know I think you look beautiful. At 29-years-old, Erik Grieve was a rising star in special effects at Lucas Digital, notorious for knocking out the work of five men. The guys there teased him about his obsessive-compulsive tendencies and for having so many 16 x 20 sized photos of his wife and seventeen-month-old daughter in his office, but he didnt care. At size 6 or size 16, Erik usually had a way of making me feel attractive. But I wasnt feeling very attractive that morning as I struggled to squeeze into a pair of dark-blue jeans. How is it that you get better

looking with age and I get big and all tired-looking? At least we got to sleep in this morning. Its awesome having your mom here to wake up with Tatiana. Yeah, I cant remember the last time I actually had a minute to get dressed and put on some make-up, but, ugh, nothing fits! I peeled the jeans off my swollen legs and threw them across the room. Nothing! Erik wrapped his arms around me, and I felt his hands slide down the back of my black thong panties. Honey, what are you doing? I giggled. He whispered in my ear. We dont have to worry about Tati right now, and it is Easter, and I was thinking . . . dont you think I deserve an Easter blow-job? Are you crazy? I pushed him away, laughing, and pointed at my enormous belly. Do I look like I want to give you an Easter blow-job? Well, uh, no, not really, but it seemed worth a try. Grabbing a white t-shirt, I covered my engorged breasts. I have absolutely no energy. You know that. I had amped-up my childrens photography business in order to help save money for our first house in

Northern California, and between shoots, taking care of Tatiana, and being pregnant, I was spent. Alright, well, then how about no blow-job and we just make love? I looked at his face and felt deep affection for him. Then I felt deep pity. Some women get especially horny during pregnancy, but I was not one of them. Fine. Lets have sex. I grinned. But I dont want to have to do anything. I can hardly bend over. Erik stepped closer, knelt down, and began kissing my popped-out belly button. You just let me worship the baby-making goddess. My skin tingled, reconnecting me with the same burst of rallying energy that motivates me to finish strong at the end of a run. Mmmm, that feels good." He slid my panties to the side. Erik and I started making loveme with my widened hips and overlubricated femininity. We were slow. Intentional. Comfortable with our awkward movements. We manuvered down to the beige carpeted floor.

Oh, thats squishing the baby. Lets turn over. We laughed at ourselves. Yeah, right, like that will work. Maybe on my side? Not sure this is going to happen. Being on my back too long decreased the flow of oxygen to the baby. Being on top made us worry about poking her in the head. And so, after a while, we gave up, knowing Erik could find no friction on his sexual quest. There were no orgasms, but we were both completely satisfied. Both amused by the situation. We laughed at our valiant effort and then kissed for the longest time. Erik stared at me and, even though it was difficult to let him see all of me, I looked back into his eyes. Do you think about how lucky we are? I said. Yeah, I think about it at least five times a day. Erik Grieve knew our kind of love and happiness was not to be

taken for granted. He was not afraid to expose his heart. Not afraid to celebrate what mattered most. What he didnt know was that he only had nine hours left to live.

To pre-order your signed copy of Drop Dead Life, please go to my recently launched Kickstarter campaign and contribute $29 by August 19th. You will receive your book in April, 2014, along with my enormous gratitude for helping me reach 100% of my Kickstarter funding goal. Please take a minute to check out the other rewards I have created in exchange for your generous contributions. Your desire to contribute and share my Kickstarter campaign with your friends will allow me to fund the publication of Drop Dead Life and give hope to people all over the world. Drop Dead Life goes beyond widowhood into the world of online dating, hereditary depression, finding humor, parenting, afterlife connection, and the belief that regardless of our circumstanceseach of us can create the love and happiness we desire.

Hyla Molanderauthor, speaker, advocate, photographer, widow, wife, and mother of fouris Co-Founder of Women Rock It and Founder of Social Good Project. Speaking events include a keynote at Walmart Corporate Headquarters about living as if today was your last day. Features include Redbook, KTVU Channel 2, Marin Magazine, and Writers Digest. She is also a spokesperson for MMRL, the research lab that is working to develop a treatment for Brugada Syndomethe sudden death cardiac condition which took her late husbands life and has been inherited by Hylas two young daughters. Please connect with Hyla on her website.