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The College Hill Independent September 16

The College Hill Independent September 16

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Published by: The College Hill Independent on Sep 30, 2010
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Independent
 
-SVZWIn a sense, we seniors epitomize adult human beings who are free to have all the food and sex we want. Ourconversation focuses on the outcome of last week’s Top Chef 
nale (Hosea? Really?) and upon the phenom-enon of the senior scramble—a steroidal interpretation of the laissez-faire attitude towards sex enjoyed bymany Brown students, a clearance sale of hook-ups.In Tuesday’s Providence Democratic Mayoral Election, political newcomer Angel Tavares soundly defeatedtwo well-established Federal Hill bosses, John Lombardi and Steven Costantino. Most pundits correctly pre-dicted that Lombardi and Costantino would split votes among their Democractic base.
ey did, but all theirvotes combined couldn’t have beaten Tavares, who won 49% of the vote. He did so thanks to a new, rapidlygrowing Catholic base dominated by the Hispanic population which makes up nearly 40% of Providence. 
e state’s old-school politicians are fading fast. Last February, US Representative Patrick Kennedy an-nounced he would not seek reelection. Bill Lynch, one of the candidates running for Kennedy’s seat,
nishedlast in Tuesday’s primary. Lynch, whose father was Mayor of Pawtucket, has chaired the state DemocraticParty for the last 12 years. His brother Patrick Lynch B’87, meanwhile, will step down as Attorney Generalin January, and dropped out of the Governor’s race this summer to avoid “injuring” the party with a bit-ter Democratic primary against State Treasurer Frank Caprio.
e Lynches, once proud ambassadors of theBlackstone Valley political establishment, will now both return to private legal practice.In 2006, the Boston Phoenix identi
ed the arrival of a new
rst family of Rhode Island Democrats in apiece called “Caprios on the Rise.” But on Tuesday, Democratic State Senator David Caprio lost the primaryto relative unknown Teresa Tanzi, who attacked Caprio for losing touch with his community.So it’s all up to brother Frank to take the Governorship and redeem the Democratic old-guard. If hedoesn’t, nostalgics need not fret. His strongest challenger is Lincoln Chafee B’75, the former Republican USSenator whose family name runs 125 years deep in Rhode Island politics.
–SVZW 
 

SENIOR EDITORS Margo Irvin, Simone Landon, Erin Schikowski, Emily Segal, Dayna TortoriciMVP: Jonah KaganCOVER ART: Nick Carter
Too Much Too Soon
e College Hill IndependentPO Box 1930Brown UniversityProvidence, RI 02912theindy@gmail.comLetters to the editor are welcome distractions.
e College HillIndependent is published weekly during the fall and springsemesters and is printed by TCI Press in Seekonk, MA.
e College Hill Independent receives support from Campus Progress/Center for American Progress.
FALL 2010
as if you care...
ephemera
23561213715411178916
Week in Review (Whitford & Strait)Bye, LFO Dude (Landon)RI Pigs n’ Chickens (Rausnitz & Peterson-Rockney)Unemployed and Active (A. Warner)Pictures of Ivy Kids, but Japanese, and old (Cohen)Human Tragedy in Contemporary Art & Fashion(Pradhan) A Final Dignity (Delaney) A Family Member back from Iraq (Ramos)
e Future of Digital Music (Morley)HOROSCOPES!!! (Jones)Marionettes Hang out Forever (Hsiung)Trapped Miners in the Limelight (Welsh)q: Where do Malls go when they Die? a: Warwick(Hines)Gelato is delicious. Seriously. (Cushing)
NEWSMETROSCIENCEOPINIONSARTSLITERARYFEATURESFOOD
contentsfrom the editors
TheCollegeHill
18
(Gui)
X
I got your messages on my cell phone yesterday while I was at the library bor-rowing books on chess, and listened to the “Springtime” mix you made me onthe bike ride home; I missed you a lot right then. Columbia is weird as usual.Last night, Kevin, Julian, and I were invited to watch an illegal deathmatch be-tween a cat and a parrot to take place at the pet store in the mall after it closed. Apparently, mall security got wind of the debacle and the whole a
ff 
air was calledo
ff 
. However, the prospect of this fight was enough to make my evening feelpretty insane. I’m starting to have trouble with the idea that I have a little morethan one week left here in sunny, downtown Columbia.
 
News
A-PLUS CUPS?
National underwear day was August 5, but it seemsthe nation’s obsession with undergarments hasexperienced an interesting uplift in certain areas.

with its in
ux of tall, thin,
at-as-an-ironing-boardmodels, new online retailers have started catering tothose with, shall we say, smaller mammary endow-ments.In the past few months there has also been a re-surgence of pride among small-breasted women.Blogs like
smallbustbigheart.com
and the
smallbreast support group
on the
bust.com
forum arepopping up weekly, created by women looking toempower themselves by sharing wisdom, advice,and anecdotes about their “booblets.”Welcome to 21
st
century feminism.
e
smallbreast support group
is chock full of women al-ternately crowing and lamenting about their “littleones” and “teensy tatas.” Certainly the most en-tertaining part of the support group has to be theone male contributor, who goes by the screen name just_a_guy and describes himself as an “ardentfeminist” while comparing small-breasted women tosports cars and making comments like, “I love a lithelittle package 5’2” with A cups and 95 pounds soak-ing wet.” Charming.Of course what these websites fail to do in themidst of their lingerie reviews and me-thinks-the-la-dy-doth-protest-too-much small breast pride posts,is actually address the pertinent issue. Any feministworth her salt would tell you it’s probably unwise tonurse our cultural obsession with breasts.
at said,it’s di
cult to
ght oppressive beauty standardswhen you’re 95 pounds and soaking wet.
 AS
POUR A ROUND FOR MOTHER RUSSIA
e Russian Finance Minister Alexei Kudrin hascome up with a unique strategy to pull his coun-try out of an economic quagmire: feeding o
 
of hiscountrymen’s vices. A new tax on cigarettes waspassed by the Parliament in June that will raise thegovernment pro
t on 1000 cigarettes to $19.20from $11.39 by 2013, at which time an alcohol taxincrease is predicted to raise the price of a liter of the cheapest vodka from $2.81 to $4.71.
ose who drink, those who smoke are doingmore to help the state,” Kudrin stated in an inter-view with Interfax News Agency.Not everyone is on board with the new policy.
 
last month to prohibit the sale of liquor between10 PM and 10 AM in an e
 
ort to cut consumptionby 50 percent.
e worst part of this policy is of course that the most popular anodyne to personaleconomic woes will now contribute to those woes,and won’t even be easily accessible.
ese laws lendsome truth to that old joke: in Mother Russia, thecigarettes smoke you.
 AS
W

 

R

by Ashton Strait and Emma WhitfordIllustration by Manvir Singh
CELLOS, CITRUS, EXPLOSIONS
Last Friday, sixty-two year old Michael Edwards of the Electric Light Orchestra was driving his minivan onthe A381 in England. According to police reports, a 1,300-pound bale of hay rolled down the adjacent slopeand
ipped 15 feet over a hedge, striking the roof of his van. Edwards swerved into oncoming tra
c and hitanother vehicle.
e other driver was not harmed, but Edwards died on impact.
e Electric Light Orchestra (ELO) was a British band popular in the late ’70s and early ’80s that gaverock a classical bent with strings, horns and woodwinds. Its
rst hit single was “10538 Overture”—a songwith layers of overdubbed cello ri
 
s about an escaped prisoner called 10538. Edwards played cello for ELO,and was known for his tendency to trade in his bow for a grapefruit during concerts (a stunt that probablywouldn’t have gone over well at the Royal Academy of Music where he was trained).ELO had 27 Top 40 singles between 1972 and 1986. However, Edwards left the band in 1975 just as it washitting its stride. He turned from psychedelic rock to baroque orchestration, founding the Devon BaroqueOrchestra in Devon, England. Edwards had been slotted to perform with
e Daughters of Elvin, a medievalfolk band, in Totnes this Saturday night.
e police who responded to the scene identi
ed Edwards as a former ELO member using band photos

man responsible for the ‘Dying Swan’—a performance piece from the ELO days that concluded with an ex-ploding cello.
EW 
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