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The Nonviolent Communication (NVC) Process

The Nonviolent Communication (NVC) Process

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Published by: penntara on Jul 08, 2008
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The Nonviolent Communication (NVC) Process Monday, 26 May, 2008“Did you ever notice how difficult it is to argue with someone who is notobsessed with being right.” - Wayne W. DyerBlogImproving Our “Signals” and “Beings” Home » Blog » The Nonviolent Communication (NVC) ProcessHow to Be a People MagnetDiscover how with the communication secrets given to you in the FREEEarthling Communication newsletter by signing up below now: I will never give out or abuse your details+ Communication Home - Communication Home Assertive SkillsConflict ManagementConversation SkillsInterpersonal SkillsListeningPublic SpeakingSelf UnderstandingWriting Skills+ Related Self Development - Related Self Development AttractionConfidenceGriefHappinessInspirationLeadershipMotivationStress ManagementSuccess+ Blog - Blog Assertive SkillsAttractionConfidenceConflict ManagementConversation SkillsHappinessInspirationInterpersonal RelationshipsLeadershipNegotiationParentingReviewsSuccessVideosUseful ResourcesBlogBooks and ResourcesCommunication ArticlesCommunication SecretsDouble Your DatingFree Relationship AdviceMaster Persuasion!RSS FeedsFree Reports and CoursesThe NVC Process
 
Fearlessly Communicating and Talking with ConfidenceHow to Be Interesting Without Saying a WordInferiority Complex and the Self-imageThe 6 Principles of Influencing People5 Part Course on ApologizingOtherContactDonateLog inRegisterCatch and Keep "Mr Right"... ...With Catch Him and Keep Him. Discover for free:› The five things women do that annoy men and kill intimacy› What to do if your man has a "wandering eye"› How to "cheat-proof" your relationship... and why he might be tempted› And much, much more...I highly recommend it. Check it out now by clicking here.The Nonviolent Communication (NVC) Process10 September 2007 | 14:45 | Assertive Skills, Conflict Management,Interpersonal Relationships, Leadership, Parenting | 10 Comments You’reabout to unlock what I believe is the greatest human need incommunication. I’m going to show you how to connect with your fellow humanbeing in the most intimate way possible – a way that many people havenever experienced their entire life. This is something I know the world sodesperately needs. It is something that you so desperately need. I wouldnot pour excessive amounts of time and effort into this article if Ifailed to believe this article would change how you think aboutcommunication forever.See if you can figure out the common thread between the following shortscenarios: Your partner leaves the room in anger after another argument; Afriend lashes out on you despite you having done nothing wrong; Yourchildren’s constant disobedience makes you extremely frustrated causingyou to yell and do other things you later regret; Your supervisor or bossorders you to complete a task leaving you to feel controlled like a puppeton a stick.These are just a list of common scenarios where we know there is a betterway to handle the situation, but we just can’t figure it out. A lot of thetimes, our emotions get the better of us causing us to handle thesituation poorly, yet often in these times of conflict there is somethingwe can’t quite put our finger on. We know something is wrong and that wecan fix it, but something we don’t know is going on is just out of ourreach.Why does your partner become angry at you when you remain calm and willingto communicate? Why would a friend lash out on you despite you having donenothing wrong? Why does your children’s disobedience seem as though theyare doing it constantly on purpose? Why does communication at work seem toonly be on the surface as it ignores the more important issues skin-deep?There are thousands of similar situations to the ones listed above thatall have a common thread.Let’s face it, everything we say to another person attempts to get aresponse from them. Whether we are trying to get a person to agree, complywith our request, conduct a certain behavior, feel a certain emotion, orsimply listen in silence – there is a response each of us seek because wewant to be acknowledged that we were received (that’s a hint with regard
 
to the commonality amongst the above situations). Your partner would notbecome angry at you and your children would work with you – instead ofagainst you – if you followed this rule.Everything we say to another person attempts to get a response fromthem.It is said that all communication is hypnosis because allcommunication is about inducing states within people. Some people are moreeffective in inducing states of emotion and thought within others becausethey have more effective communication skills. A salesman who can inducethe desired buying state of emotion and thought in a buyer will likelymake the sale instead of a salesman who desperately tries to persuade andsell. We are all constantly trying to make others feel, think, or behave acertain way with our communication.The process I’m about to discuss in this article is one created by theCenter for Nonviolent Communication. The organization is a nonprofitorganization founded by Marshall Rosenberg who has written NonviolentCommunication: A Language of Life. Marshall and a couple hundred otherpeople who are well trained in the process, conduct workshops throughoutthe world teaching people their techniques which is known as NonviolentCommunication (NVC). The NVC process has changed the lives of millions ofpeople who have learned the techniques directly and those who have beenfortunate enough to have those trained in the NVC process use thetechniques on them.By learning the NVC process, which I’m going to teach you below, you willbe extremely effective in inducing a state of connection with the personyou are talking to. I’m talking about a level of connection that mostpeople will never experience in their entire life.If you are after a process that changes a person’s behavior, then NVC isnot the best one to use in your situation. NVC is about building anintimate relationship and connecting with people at a deep level by usingeffective communication to met the needs of both people involved. I’m notsaying it can’t be used to change a person’s behavior – it definitely can– but the underlying purpose of the process is to breakdown conflict tolet people connect at a very intimate level. Once you have sufficientlygone through certain steps in the process, then you can begin using yournegotiation skills to persuade the person. If you try to persuade theperson upfront without having used the NVC process, you will often findthe person resisting you – emotionally blocking you out – and ignoringwhat you have to say. This is especially true for you if you feel othersdon’t understand you.When a person disagrees with you, refuses to comply with a request, or isangry at you, a poor communicator will firstly try to express oneself. Theperson seeks to be understood before seeking to understand. An effectivecommunicator and one who uses the NVC process, will seek to understand theperson, which in turn leads to their own need of being understood. Thesecret to being understood is to understand.The secret to being understood is to understand.Remember that littleteaser above where I said I’d tell you the commonality amongst thesituations mentioned earlier? What I said about the need to be understoodis that shared relationship. Your angry partner wants to be understood.Your friend wants to be understood and will have almost zero frustrationonce you understand. Your children want to be understood which will leadthem to talking to you about intimate issues. Even your boss andsupervisor want to be understood. The power of Nonviolent Communicationlies in understanding others and having them understand you.Answer this question truthfully. How many people in your life trulyunderstand you on a frequent basis? Think about the question for some timebecause it’s important to have an understanding of understanding.If you’re like most people, you won’t have one person in your life that

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