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The Great Captain Rescue - Part 2

The Great Captain Rescue - Part 2

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Published by campsiteproductions
Part two in the exciting Great Captain Rescue
Part two in the exciting Great Captain Rescue

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Published by: campsiteproductions on Oct 05, 2010
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03/25/2011

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The Great Captain Rescue - Part TwoOne Legged Pete looked through his telescope towards Port Yale. The view was a grim one. Theharbour was blockaded by at least 20 navy ships – each with roughly 20 cannon each. Heavilyarmed men lined the walls, no space left empty.“So Pete, how bad does it look?” asked Suicide SidPete let out a huge sigh and removed the telescope from his eyes. He looked around the ship, TheSinking Feeling, and let out another sigh.“How come it is always us left with the certain death situations, eh Sid?”Sid looked perplexed.
 Left? I volunteered for this!
“The two of us against all the odds again – while the rest of the bastards just sneak in and free theCaptain” said Pete “They are probably in the bloody pub right now – bastards”.“But you hate the pub Pete. Anyway – just look for the signal so we can ram the ship into theharbour!”“You are looking forward to this, aren't you?”Sid didn't answer – he just looked away with a huge grin on his face.***Rustyspoons was considered by many to be the best pub in all Port Yale. The people who thoughtthis normally came from poor backgrounds, enjoyed a good fight and a rather shitty, but cheap, breakfast. Those of taste and standing thought the place was a bloody student filled doss house.Luckily the crew from The Sinking Feeling had no taste or standing, so really liked the place.“I especially like the décor” said Tasteless Trevor, in his overly purple, overly shiny suit.First Mate Rumhead Steve looked at Trevor in a pitying way. Some considered that Rumhead mayhave developed taste and standing if he hadn’t met the Captain. As it was he followed The CaptainsRules – in this case Number 5 “Any pub as long it serves either Real Ale and / or a nice Steak Pie”.The Real Ale was top barrel – Cynfuls Best Real Ale (or BRA for short). The Steak Pie was – moving – which Rumhead always considered to be a bad sign.Rumhead looked around the group. Tasteless Trevor, the worlds most vicious Dressmaker turnedGay Pirate; Navigator Nathaniel (or Numbskull Nathaniel depending on the day), map maker upper extraordinaire; Vicious Victoria – the deadliest (and only according to a recent poll) female pirate inthe Tri Sea area; Wanker Wayne – a complete tosser who probably won't make it to the end of thischapter and Pat – the newest member of the group straight out of Pirate College.“So” said Rumhead, “do we all remember the plan?”A sea of blank, expressionless faces suddenly erupted into his visual cortex. Rumhead gave out asigh.
 I wish Pete was here – I will never understand why he insists on staying with Sid all the time – I would rather Wanker Wayne did that.
“OK – for the sake of clarity and not for any story purposes what so ever I will go over the plan
 
again!” said Rumhead “Step One – we walk to the prison in a nonchalant, man about town kind of way hoping not to get noticed. If we do get noticed we run to the prison trying not to get killed.Wanker Wayne will be at the back of the group – taking any bullets that may be fired”“Do I have to go at the back Rummy?” whined Wanker Wayne“Yes you do – it's your turn” replied Rumhead.
You little prick – I hate Rummy
he thought tohimself.Wanker Wayne went into a huff – the rest of the group started to smile.“Carrying on” continued Rumhead. “Once at the prison we will gain access somehow, rescue theCaptain and then run to the harbour where The Sinking Feeling will be waiting for us after successfully getting through the blockade, sinking all the Navy ships and killing all the guards onthe wall”***“One of your plans is it?” enquired the God of Life“I may have helped” replied the God of Doomed Plans“Fate? What do you reckon – can they make it this time?” asked the God of Life“Hah, are you joking – not a chance this time. 200 souls and 7 days of Creation says they all die!”“I do HATE creation – bloody hard work, need lots of rest” said the God of Life, a weighing up of options look on his face. “You have a deal – Death, want to get in on this? Death? Where the hellis he now?”***The God of Death had never left Port Yale. He had seen the memo go out from The God of Doomed Plans and thought it wiser to stick around. There was going to be a lot of death thisevening – this he knew, but whose was still blank.
 It always is where Captain Camp is concerned – there is a mystery to him I can't quite solve.
He had wandered to the Prison to go and look at the Captain as although they had been close manytimes before he had never gone and looked at the man. He wandered along the many rows of cells – all full of Black Guards armed to the teeth.
 Ah – so this is a trap – I wonder where he actually is?***
There were two Black Guards standing outside the Prison. One of them was looking down thestreet at a group of very nonchalant, very men about town, people walking towards the Prison.
Well, they can't be up to any mischief – look how nonchalant they are
. He looked over at the other guard, who had fallen asleep.
 Probably due to how bloody nonchalant that group are! I wonder what the weather will be like tomorrow? Is that blood? I appear to have been stabbed – howupsetting.
“Well – that worked surprisingly well – are we all still here? Wanker Wayne?” said Rumhead
 
“I'm still here Rummy!”“Good”
 Damn!
He looked around the Prison. He couldn't help thinking only two guards was suspicious. The wordTARP kept on springing to mind but he couldn't think why.
We need to get into this place, but how?
The Prison was a fortress – strong stone walls at least 30 feet high. A huge iron door protected by a big iron portcullis. There was no way to climb it or penetrate it.
Maybe we should have come and had a look before now – maybe got some explosives or rope?
“Ideas?” he asked, expecting no answer “Well – I do have one Rumhead” said Tasteless Trevor with enthusiasm, “and all we need is somecurtains, some scissors, a sewing machine, a paper clip and a crash test dummy”“Navigator – what supplies do we have?” asked Rumhead“Uhhh” replied Navigator – rummaging through his pockets, his tongue sticking out as he did so.“A lemon and and second hand teabag.”Rumhead looked at Tasteless Trevor and could tell by his crest fallen face he had nothing now. Helooked around the rest of the group – who all must of discovered something very interesting on thefloor. Apart from Pat – who was looking over Rumheads left shoulder.“Pat – do you have an idea?”“Well – I was thinking could we not use that huge pile of explosives over there to blow a hole in thewall?”“Pat – what does the sign say?”“Well – 'Please do not use to aide in a prison break or rescue'. But I was thinking we are Pirates andmaybe we could ignore the sign?”Rumhead stopped to think – but remembered Rule 28 'Always do what the Signs Say'. As fatewould have it Victoria was remembering Rule 28a 'If the sign says something you don't like,accidentally break the sign leaving you free to carry on' as she suddenly, violently yawned with her sword in her hand accidentally cutting the sign into 100 pieces and working up a good sweat.“Good plan Pat – but how do we light it with a lemon and a second hand tea bag?” Rumheadthought aloud.“We could throw the lemon at that torch there...?” said Pat“Or” interrupted Tasteless Trevor suddenly perked up “we can mix the tea and the lemon together there by hoping that it catches fire and throw the Flaming Mess at the explosives!!”HOURS LATER “Right – I think we can all agree lemon and tea do not an explosive partner make, but yes Tastelessit does make the tea taste better.” sighed Rumhead.

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