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Biker Party

Biker Party



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Published by Luke James
A "deleted scene" from my memoir Stairway To Nowhere
A "deleted scene" from my memoir Stairway To Nowhere

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Published by: Luke James on Oct 19, 2010
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


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A deleted scene from my memoir “Stairway To Nowhere”Biker Party, Birmingham, England 1978I’m in my kitchen, half-heartedly throwing a large kitchen knife at what’sleft of the back door. Despite many years of practice, I can’t quite get thehang of knife throwing. Which is a shame, as a circus act is among themany sensible back-up plans I have should the band fail. Time after timethe knife clatters to the floor, occasionally gouging chunks out of thedoor. Just as the knife hits the floor, Miki pushes the door open. Hegrins at me, nodding at the knife on the floor.“Still chuckin’ it like a girl then?”“Bollocks,” I say, “It’s the knife. There’s something wrong with it.”“Yeah, it’s got an arsehole for a handle.” he says, and grabs my last canof Red Stripe off the kitchen table.“Come on in and make yourself at home. Have a beer, why don’t you.”
 He salutes me with the can and takes a long pull.“Don’t mind if I do.” he says, wiping the back of his mouth with his hand.I pick up the knife, and put it back in the drawer with the rest of thecutlery. I turn to Miki.“It’s disgraceful, is what it is.” I say, “I mean, it’s not too much to ask isit? A gig, a bit of a party, some drugs, a blow job?”Miki waggles the now empty can of Red Stripe.“And now, not even any beer.” I say, “Thank you very much.”“Terrible.” Miki says, and belches sonorously. He crumples the can withone hand and tosses it in the general direction of the old oil drum I useas a rubbish bin. He misses and the can clatters to the floor. Suddenlyhis face brightens.“Here, I know something we can do tonight. Sid’s gang is having a party.Loads of booze. And pills.”I look doubtful.“What, the Road Rats?”“Most likely be biker chicks there.” he says.“Alright then,” I say, “Why not. What else are we gonna do? Sit in and watch the gardening on the telly?”“What telly?”“Precisely.”Miki’s brother, Sid, is a Brummie biker. His seventeen stone framesubsists almost entirely on a steady diet of savaloy and chips, all swilleddown with Strongbow cider. He will cheerfully tell you that it’s only dueto all the speed he does that he manages to keep his weight down! In thetwo years since Sid joined the Walsall chapter of the Road Rats he has written off three motorbikes, and spent a little over a year in varioushospitals. He has steel pins in both elbows, several bolts in his legs, anda medium-sized plate in his head. This plate, given the right atmosphericconditions and with his neck tilted at just the right angle, enables Sid topick up Radio Luxembourg as clearly as any transistor radio.
 Even though he knows I will take absolutely no notice, Miki warns methat this party will be filled with greasers, who are not chaps generallyrenowned for their tolerance of anyone who doesn’t look exactly likethem.“Come to think of it,” he says, “These arseholes don’t even tolerate eachother.”“Not to worry, my man,” I say, “I shall forgo the mascara, keep the eyeliner to a minimum and just for a change … wear black. No fake furs orleopard skin, okay?”I disappear into my swamp of a bathroom. When I reappear, a mere tenminutes later, Miki stares at me.“You look just the sodding same you prat. Still look like a weirdo at best.An elongated queer at worst.”“Look, I’ll have you know fate has greatness in store for me, mate. Therefore, I’m bleedin’ invulnerable, aren’t I.”“Be interesting then. To see just how much physical pain you can endureon the way to this greatness there’s no guarantee you’ll ever attain.”“Oh ye of little faith.” I tell him.“Make that, no faith.” Miki says. “Come on then Nureyev, let’s go andstrut your funky stuff.” The bikers have rented a self-contained flat in the upstairs part of a niceenough house on a nice enough street not far from Edgbaston cricketground. Whoever lives downstairs is either dead, deaf, or terrified - quitepossibly all three. In the interests of security, the Road Rats have nailedthe front door shut so the only entrance to their domain is through aheavily padlocked back gate, topped with barbed wire. Miki grunts Sid’sname and indicates his family connection. Once inside the gate, we make

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Helen Winslow Black added this note
Explain to me why this is a deleted scene, dude! (Does anyone out there know how hard it is to write good dialogue??) My new nickname for you Luke is "The Natural"
LauraNovak added this note
You have packed more color, emotion and action into these few pages than most writers do into an entire volume. Excellent writing. Life just "belches sonorously" out of every page.
Ingrid Ricks added this note
I'm with Helen, Luke. I love this scene. You've painted a very vivid picture - glad you survived that. And congrats on the feature!!!
Luke James added this note
Gosh, thanks Helen, I'm lost for words! ;) Okay. I'm not - the book was originally 350 pages long and I savage edited down to 185 only to find the 100 or so people who've bought it asking for more! Guess I'm not so good with numbers!!
Helen Winslow Black added this note
Explain to me why this is a deleted scene, dude! (Does anyone out there know how hard it is to write good dialogue??) My new nickname for you Luke is "The Natural"
ehabmic liked this

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