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How God Heals Our Hearts
36
Being Responsible for Our Own Lives
Jason had talked to me often about his childhood home.There had been good times, but mostly his childhood wasa struggle. His mother developed MS when he was nine years old. Three years older than his brother, he haddone what he could to help his mom around the house.When the disease flared up and she became bedridden,he helped his dad try to keep the house clean, food on the table, and some semblance of order.Eventually his mother had to be moved into a nursinghome. His dad withdrew even more emotionally. Jasonbecame the emotional centre for the household, listening to both his dad’s and his brother’s outbursts of either tears or anger. He remained calm and stable throughit all.After his first divorce, a friend had suggested he takea divorce recovery program through a local church.Through that course he became a Christian. Within three years he had met and married a single mother hemet through some mutual friends.It took his second divorce to help him see how he usedhis good deeds to manipulate people, especially women,and keep his heart at a safe distance. That day the HolySpirit helped him make a significant shift in his attitudeand behaviour. He asked forgiveness for his manipulativebehaviours and began a journey of responsibility for hisown actions.
 
37
Cheryl Lynn Shea
It hasn’t been easy, but he has continued to growspiritually and emotionally. He is now honest about hisown need to be loved and cared for. He no longer doeseverything for everybody.When we are emotionally wounded, our human tendency is to react in a sinful way through some sortof blame or self-protection. This pattern begins with ourfirst childhood wounds. If the sinful reaction (or ReactiveSin) seems to help us numb the pain and cope, we willcontinue responding to the same type of wounding in asimilar way. Over the years, this sinful pattern becomesbondage. Healing comes when we ask the Holy Spirit to heal the initial wound, ask forgiveness for our sinfulresponse, and allow God to break the bondage. See thechart on the following page.
 
How God Heals Our Hearts
38
Wounds
Wounds are emotionally  painful events like rejection,abandonment, betrayal, beingshamed, etc. God heals thesewounds as we tell our story, enter into the process of forgivingthose who have wounded usand renouncing the lies we havebelieved.
OurResponseReactiveSin
Often our response to thesewounds is to respond by  protecting ourselves insinful ways. For examplewe many respond to beingshamed by trying to be perfect or we respond tobeing rejected by tryingto please everyone. Wemust acknowledge and confess our sinful ways of  protecting ourselves fromfurther hurt.
WeBelieveLies
Satan plantslies into our woundingexperienceabout ourselves,others, God and the world.
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