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The Christian and Sex

The Christian and Sex



|Views: 239 |Likes:
Published by woofboy
What does the Bible say about sex and relationships?

Any questions? Email me at:

L. Buckler
What does the Bible say about sex and relationships?

Any questions? Email me at:

L. Buckler

More info:

Published by: woofboy on Oct 23, 2007
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


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‘Fight the good fight’
(1 Tim. 6:12)
… the men of Israel were gathered, and encamped in the Valley of Elah, and drew up in line of battle against the Philistines. And the Philistines stood on the mountain on the one side, and Israel stood on the mountain on the other side, with a valley betweenthem.
(1 Sam. 17:2-3)Because you’re reading this book I presume you want to fight against sexualtemptations. Sexual sin, like all types of sin, is drawn up in front of us (and allaround us, for that matter!) in battle array. Perhaps it might seem like a battlethat’s too long or difficult for us to win. That’s how the battle seemed to thepeople in the passage quoted above. Goliath was a massive, ugly, and offensiveopponent, armed to the teeth with weapons and pride. This can be what sin islike. And it can seem too hard to fight against. But, with God on our side, thisbattle
be won. With God on our side we can say the following to sin:"You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I comeagainst you in the name of the LORD Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the LORD will hand you over tome, and I'll strike you down and cut off your head. Today I will give thecarcasses of the Philistine army to the birds of the air and the beasts of the earth, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. Allthose gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that theLORD saves; for the battle is the LORD's, and he will give all of you intoour hands." (1 Sam. 17:45-47)The battle can be won because our commander, the Powerful One of the armies of Israel, is the Lord Almighty Himself.In a battle, the soldiers have to know what the plan of the commanders is, andwhat they are fighting for. If they don’t know the plan of the commander thenthey can't follow out the plan. And if they don’t know what they are fighting forthen they will have no motivation to fight. In Neh. 4 God’s people are surroundedby vicious enemies who wanted to destroy them. Understandably, the Israeliteswere frightened. But Nehemiah, the commander of the people, encouraged theIsraelites in their fight by reminding them what they were fighting for; in Neh.4:14 he says: -"Don't be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great andawesome, and
fight for your brothers, your sons and yourdaughters, your wives and your homes
."Here the people knew what they were fighting for. The people had a purpose intheir battle, so they were motivated to fight.Likewise, for us in our battle against sexual sin it is helpful to know ourCommander’s will, and what we are fighting for. In the fight against sinsometimes it is useful enough to know what God’s will is concerning a topic (likewhat God’s will is concerning stealing, or lying, etc.): when we see things God’sway we can often be stronger against the temptations that make us want to dothings our way. If we do not know God’s will then how can we even begin to fightfor it, hold fast to it and benefit from it? As the apostle Paul says, ‘if the trumpetdoes not sound a clear call, who will get ready for battle?’ (1 Cor. 14:8). Wecannot fight the battle if we do not know what the battle is about. With this inmind, in this chapter we hope to get some clarity on the topic of sexual
relationships so we know what we are fighting for and against, and so that wecan get ready for the battle against temptations.In this chapter we are going to see that the World has corrupted God’s directionon sexual relationships. We are going to see how the World presents its twistedcorruption as truth. And we are also going to see God’s original plan for sex, too.This will help us know where to stand, and in itself it might help us in our resolveto stick with God’s way.There’s a rather unpleasant term used today to describe how paedophiles try todevelop a relationship with children for the purpose of engaging in sexualactivities with them. The term is “grooming.” When the paedophile grooms thechild they try to convince the child that the relationship between them is normal.According to an encyclopaedia, “grooming‘may include illegal acts, such asshowing pornography to the child, by which the groomer may seek to … persuadethe child that sexual activity is normal and healthy among friends, or amongstrangers, or between adults and children.’ When a paedophile grooms a childthey try to get the child to think that something terrible and harmful anddisgusting is in fact normal and good and fine. It’s such a corruption of howthings should be.This horrible process is exactly what the World has done, or is doing, to us and tothe young people in our community. This is sick. The World tries to convince usthat horrible things are in fact normal and lovely. This is nothing new – theWorld’s been trying to do it for centuries! Back in Isaiah’s day, God said thefollowing: -Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who put darkness forlight, and light for darkness; Who put bitter for sweet, and sweet forbitter! (Isa. 5:20)The World has always been trying to pretend that crooked things are actuallynormal and alright. Unfortunately for me, even though this is something that hasbeen happening for centuries, it’s only something that I am just coming torealise. Perhaps this is the same for you, too.There is a horrid example in the Bible of the effects the World has on us when it “grooms” us and makes us think that its putrid ways are actually normal. In Gen.19 Lot and his daughters have escaped from the destruction of Sodom. Sodomhad been so evil that God had destroyed it completely. But Sodom had had aterrible, terrible lasting effect on Lot’s daughters. In Gen. 19:30-38 Lot’sdaughters make their father drunk and then have sex with him. Even though theirfather was a righteous man (2 Peter 2:7), his two daughters had been severelyaffected by the World; they thought that having children – and, therefore, sex was something that everyone in the World did: in v31 they say: - ‘… there is no man around here to lie with us,
as is the custom all overthe earth
.’ They thought that it was normal to have sex just to get what you wanted (herethey wanted sex to have children; most often, though, people want sex just toget pleasure). The World – i.e. their time in Sodom – had made Lot’s daughtersthink that this was what the ‘custom all over the World’ was, and that this ‘custom’ was find and acceptable. The World had “groomed” them into thinkingthat having sex with anyone was fine as long as they got what they wanted. Wecan be (and have been!) influenced by the World in this way.
How the World presents sex to us is so utterly vile. And it presents it to us as if itis normal. The World, like Sodom, has corrupted how God first made things. TheLord Jesus said the following thing about how the World had corrupted God’sways: - ‘… it was not this way from the beginning.’ (Mat. 19:8)Originally in ‘the beginning- God made sexual relationships lovely andbeautiful and special, and the World turns it into sickness.The World promotes casual sex, homosexuality, and even adultery, along withmany other perversions. But, as the Lord Jesus says, it was not this way from thebeginning. The ways of the World now are not God’s ways. What are God’s ways,then? What are we, God’s people, fighting for? What was it like in the beginning?The Lord Jesus gives us the answer in Mat. 19:4-6 when he quotes from Gen.1:27 & 2:24: -"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'madethem male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave hisfather and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become oneflesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. …Here we are told how God intended things. Here we see the beauty that theCreator established. This is how God made things in the beginning, in Eden,before man could get his wicked hands on God’s ways and corrupt them.Just so we know that part of what the Lord Jesus is talk about here is sex, takenote of the phrase ‘the two will become one flesh’. In the Bible this phrase talksabout two people becoming one loving unit in all their lives, but this unity alsoincludes sex. For example, in 1 Cor. 6:13-17 the apostle Paul forbids sexualpromiscuity (i.e. “sleeping around”) and he quotes ‘the two will become one flesh’ from Mat. 19:6 and Gen. 2:24 in relation to sex. So in Mat. 19 the Lord Jesus istalking about sex at least in part (and it is sex between a husband and wife, oneman and one woman who are married, not between anybody else: this is howGod intended sexual relationships from the beginning).Back in Mat. 19:4-6, then, we can see a few things about sex and relationships asGod intended them to be. In the next paragraph we are going to see the positivethings this passage teaches us about sex and relationships, and then, in bracketsafterwards, we are going to see the negative things that these positive thingsexclude.
In Mat. 19:4-6 we see that from the beginning God intended a sexualrelationship to be between a male and a female – it says, He made them ‘male and female’. (
This excludes same-sex/gay/homosexual relationships
We also see that sexual relationships are to be between a man and awoman when they are married, when they have left their father andmother and been united to their spouse: notice how it says the man leaveshis parents to be united with his
: he’s not uniting with just anyperson, but with his
– a marriage is involved here. (
This, therefore,excludes sexual relationships outside of marriage, whether adultery or sex before marriage
We can also see that the husband and wife become ‘
flesh’ – not twoor three, etc., but one: this shows sexual relationships are between only a

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