Why the BBQ Pit is Man’s Territory

(Ladies, I recommend you skip this article…)

Let's face it gentlemen, man

has been playing with fire for
over twenty thousand years.
We like the power of fire. We
like the potential that a fire
represents; it can protect
us from outside intruders
while we're huddled in our
caves; warm us on those
harsh, sub-zero, blizzard
nights; light our way, 
through treacherous
caverns; feed us the warm
protein of cooked meat we
need, when we're sick of
eating the tubers that the
gatherers collected...and we
like that it can destroy ‘most
anything in its path! It's a
ready-made disaster, waiting for us to tame it.

Men like to destroy stuff, blow stuff up, figure out how stuff works...and if
we're lucky, swear a lot and get really dirty in the process. Don't fight it or
deny it...it's in the genetic code. So...knowing that about you, me and guys in
general, it's only natural that we're attracted to something as mystifying and
hypnotic as the barbecue grill and the mysteries of how to grill.

But, what else does it represent, and why is it strictly a man's domain?

It doesn't matter to me what you cook, what you cook it on or how many you
want to cook for. You can call it a job, a chore, a challenge, an art, or a learned
skill, but what you'll find is, however you view it now, once you get good at it,
you think of it like dating, marriage, parenthood and even sex, if you want,
and get a whole lot more satisfaction out of it!

1 Why the BBQ Pit is Man’s Territory | How To Barbeque Like Bubba Q
Now, I'm not talkin’ about lavishing new tools and diamond studded
accessories on your grill, or getting crazy with sauces and tryin’ to do bananas
flambé on your grill...though that sounds like a cool challenge...I'm talkin’
about your attitude toward how to barbeque.

Something about providing… preparing, caring, tending and nurturing,

whether it's for another person or cooking a good meal, strikes a visceral chord
in us, akin to our flight or fight response.

Pride in man is overwhelming, because we want to be appreciated for what

we do, what we can accomplish and what obstacles we can overcome. If you
don't think that's a strong inner sense, let me know how you feel when
you burn the dinner! Does it feel like abject defeat? Got a little dejection and
self pity going? Pretty close, huh? That's why you take her out to eat when
you're dating. If the meal's bad, it's not your fault.

Let me tell you how to take your barbecue experience one giant step in the
right direction and make a lasting impression. If you’re gonna go through the
trouble to learn how to barbeque, don't just be A Man and do what's expected
of you, be The Man and do as much of the whole dinner as you’re able,
yourself. There's nothing’ worse than going to a barbecue and watching some
poor guy's lady slave over every detail, tell him what to do every step of the

2 Why the BBQ Pit is Man’s Territory | How To Barbeque Like Bubba Q
way, just to hear him get the credit for starting a fire when she told him to and
managing not to burn the meat beyond recognition.

If you're going to host a barbecue the right way, then you need to know:

 How many people are coming? 

 How much each person will reasonably eat? 
 What's the best fare you can provide on your budget? 
 Does anyone have any allergies or meat issues? 
 What cut or types of meat you will provide? 
 How should you prepare and season those meats? 
 How long before cooking time should that be done? 
 How long will each type of meat take to cook? 
 How much room will that take up on your grill? 
 What needs direct heat versus indirect heat? 
 What sides can you grill at the same time? 
 How can you get everything to hit the table at the same time?

(My personal opinion is that, the inability to figure out the answers to these
questions, not taking the time and energy to learn things which, to us grill
masters, is second nature, is part of the reason that most people don't host
parties, of any kind any more. I can't tell you how many people I've invited for
dinner parties and barbecues where the invitation isn't reciprocated in some
way. Could be my company, I suppose, but they keep coming back to my
house! Maybe my barbecue tastes so good, they'll put up with my company!
Maybe they don't reciprocate because they feel they can't measure up. Or
maybe, just maybe, they haven't figured out the answers to the questions I
laid out, basic to any kind of entertaining and don't know how to do it!)

Once you have a grasp of these barbecue entertaining and hosting basics, you

can figure out the best places to buy your meats, seasonings, rubs, seafood and
produce to get the best quality for the best price and start worrying about what
people will want to drink, have for appetizers and what you can listen to while
entertaining...and no, that doesn't mean keeping the game on in the
background and eating on the couch...unless it's a tailgate party, of course!
(Part of your new education may involve listening to music that wasn't
necessarily popular when you graduated High School!)
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Now, when you've got all that figured out, when your wife, or special someone,
asks you what you need them to do, you can go pour them a glass of that
whatever-they-like and tell them to put the music on, put their feet up and
relax for a while. You've got it all under control...because now, you're The
Man. Don't that feel good...?

In my house, we believe in sitting at a table for a meal (unless there are too
many of us, which'll happen at a barbecue) and having a conversation, and we
have trained our kids to do the same. We also seem to have trained a lot of
their friends; judging by the way they still like to come around at dinner time!
As for background noise, that's what a stereo is for...not a television.

Need some other benefits to being The

Man? I've never figured out the fight over
division of labor in the house between a
man and a woman. There is no way
possible that it can ever come out even-
Steven, and I don't care how you break it
out! Mowing the lawn equals doing
laundry equals doing dishes equals taking
out the trash equals making the bed equals
grocery shopping equals...and on and on,
using some non-definable point system!
As long as you're
both participating and not
complaining about it, and as long as you
feel appreciated for doing it, life is good.

One of the rules in my house is "if you

cook, you don't have to clean up". I'll cook
before I clean, any day of the week! I take
the time to shop for what I want to cook, about an hour before I want to cook
it (yeah, takes about fifteen minutes...). I hate trying to remember to take
stuff out of the freezer. What I know is, if I barbecue, not only is it going
to taste great, I'm going get the ephedrine high of being the appreciated
provider, my lovely didn't have to stress out after getting home late from her
tech job, we get quality time with the kids…and there are hardly any pots and
pans, so even the kids will do the dishes without complaining...much!

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Don't panic...I know it seems like a lot to learn and do, changing attitudes and
responsibilities…sharing…plus having a personality transplant and all, but
believe me, once you've got this stuff down, there isn't anything you can't
handle on the grill. Plus, it's a great reason not to let her wrestle the tongs out
of your hands! That's like attacking your manhood!

Oh yeah, one more thing...some people take the "Hey, get your damn hands
off my grill" thing a little too seriously and think that no man should ever let
another man cook on his grill, like it's adulterous or something. Let me tell
you: I've got family and friends, all over the country, and because people know
I love to barbecue, especially for large groups, and they know I'm good at it,
they want me to take care of it for them. I personally grill with charcoal, but
that doesn't mean I can't work with propane. Variety is the spice of life!

New experiences create the opportunity to overcome new challenges, and with

that come confidence and pride. I'm proud of my grill master status and it's a
sign of acknowledgment when other people, even other grill master friends,
ask me to wield the tongs for them and their group of family and friends. 

Learn how to barbecue. Feed them right and you'll have them eating out the
palm of your hand...gladly

5 Why the BBQ Pit is Man’s Territory | How To Barbeque Like Bubba Q