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Conversations and an Adventure With My Dog 5

Conversations and an Adventure With My Dog 5

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Published by Steve U
Further conversations with my dog, with an adventure to a cave, this time.
Further conversations with my dog, with an adventure to a cave, this time.

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Published by: Steve U on Nov 11, 2010
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05/28/2014

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Conversations (Well, an adventure this time) with My Dog – 5
“Seriously, put out the cigar, Dog. We can’t put this off any longer!” I stood lookingdown at my 10 year old dappled brown Dachshund, with my hands on my hips, as the sunwas casting purple light on the back yard leaves which still hung on for dear life in thewaning fall season.Dog harrumphed. “I don’t know why I gotta help you with this! It’s a nice night; Iwouldn’t mind spending it out here like we always do.”I drew a deep breath and exhaled, then grabbed the cigar from his mouth. “Nope…wegotta do this!” I stubbed the cigar out in the gallon planter that we used as an ashtray.(Shhh! No telling the Mrs. about this!)“I oughta tell the Mrs. about you putting my cigar out in her flower planter.” Dog’s right back paw scratched behind his ear. “Aaaah…that’s better.”I sighed heavily. “Sometime this century, perhaps, we can actually get to it?”1
 
Dog looked up. “Hold your horses!!! I’m coming. But why do I have to help you dothis?”“Because you’re a dog. You find stuff.”Dog arched his eyebrows. “But we’re going to look for a book! How am I going to helpyou look for a book? Do you have a page ripped out of it that you are going to give to meto smell, and I go searching with my nose to the ground sniffing for the scent? Are youserious? This isn’t Hollywood, my man. I’m not Lassie, and we aren’t searching for Timmy.”Shaking my head, “No, it isn’t Hollywood, and no I don’t expect you to pick up the scentfrom a ripped page. But you do have a pair of sharp eyes, and you ARE low to theground. You can look under things, and there’s a lot of things to look under.”“Where we looking again?” ”We are looking in the youngest son’s room. The one that’s away in college.”Dog look startled. “The one with the room that expands to infinity to hold an endlesssupply of life’s little treasures that probably should have been thrown out yesteryear?The room that looks scary because who knows how many goblins now reside in the inner  bowels of the place? The room with a stack of clothes in every corner, probably hiding anice family of mice with very large teeth or something? That room? The Pit of EndlessCorners and Last Year’s Mess and hidden things that are likely to jump out at me?” Nodding, and grimacing, I confirmed that this was the room. “It’s important, Dog. I promised a friend of mine we would find this book to help her daughter. That book is inthat room.”“You’re a sucker, dude.”I considered the statement. “I’ll give you a sucker if you help.”Dog cocked his head, ears electing to be fully upright. “A bribe, eh? A silly no-benefit-at-human-health candy treat? Hey…won’t that rot my teeth?”“It will in fact rot your teeth. So how about a Scooby snack?”Canine eyes rolled. “Look, let’s just go get this done. I’d rather get my nose stuck insome smelly sock that’s moldered for a year than hear more of your corny yammering.”As he hopped down from the chair I turned to the porch door and we walked in, acrossthe living room, and down the steps to the basement. “Going into The Room, honey” Itold my wife. She responded with something about a trail of bread crumbs. I shruggedand at the bottom I flipped the switch to the hallway leading to ‘the room’. Although I2
 
 put air quote marks around the phrase “the room”, it is in fact a room. It’s just that ithasn’t been cleaned since Wellington stopped Napoleon at Waterloo, so the fact that thisstructure has a floor and walls is as much urban myth as it is verified archaeology. Ishould have looked into getting the blueprints before this venture, but time was of thatold fabled saying, the essence.We reached the threshold of the room. I turned to say something to Dog and was takenaback. He was wearing his football helmet and shoulder pads, and had an unlit cigar inhis mouth.He returned my stare more balefully than I had stared at him. “What?”“Why are you wearing all that? And what’s with the cigar?””All that, as you put it, is protective gear. We don’t know what inhabits this caveanymore. Nor can you guarantee that any of these sundry items arrayed in defensive position against us – clothes, other books, Nintendo games - won’t tumble and fall on me.Therefore, good sir, I must protect my noggin if I am to play Watson to your Sherlock.”“…and the cigar?”He nodded. “Well, I’ve been watching reruns of the A-Team during the day…theoriginal series…and I sorta admire how the cigar made George Peppard look tough and incontrol.”“Seriously? There’s so much wrong with your head, Dog. Is that helmet on too tight?Maybe it’s restricting the flow of oxygen to your brain.”Dog snorted. “All very fine for you with your noggin way up there out of harm’s way, but down here we four-leggers need to take some precautions!”Shrugging, I flipped the light switch to the room. And then I flipped it again. And again. Nothing happened.Dog looked up. “You getting enough oxygen up there? You sure you know how tooperate one of them light switches?””Sometimes, Dog…” I didn’t bother to look down, “your humor does not help.” I triedthe switch again. And again.Snorting, Dog muttered, “It certainly didn’t help you figure out that light switch. Okay,well, we tried looking for the book. We’ll have to wait until the sun comes up. Let’s callit a night and light this cigar up, shall we?””Dog! We are not giving up this quickly! I promised my friend!” I looked around theroom, through the gloom. “Hey, there’s a flashlight up on that shelf, up there.” I tried3

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Alpasheq Oqap liked this
Shyam Adrift added this note
I eagerly await part 6 :D
Steve U added this note
A little Monty Python and my dog anyone? Conversations and an Adventure With My Dog 5
Irma added this note
darrrrling
Alikat747 added this note
What a fantastic adventure, full of Prince Valiant heroics befitting a knight on a quest with his trusty squire!!! Right out of fantasy land and into this "alley-cat's" heart! Bravo both of you!!
Phantomimic added this note
LOL, it's good you didn't have to face a Killer Rabbit. After all you did not have a holy hand grenade to toss at it, you only had a dachshund!
David Welch added this note
Really funny, the only thing missing was a picture of dog with his helmet, pads and cigar. Ask dog if he'd like to go chase sheep with Toppy on Saturday.

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