You are on page 1of 16

Stress Management Techniques

Mark Dombeck, Ph.D. Updated: Feb 27th 2003

There is no doubt about it; the world is a difficult place to live. Making a living, raising a family,
and negotiating relationships are difficult but necessary tasks for all people - and these sources of
stress are just the normal everyday ones. Abuse, violence, chaos, disease, misfortune and other 'out
of the ordinary' sorts of situations can and do add additional layers of stress to our lives. It's no
wonder that many people become tense, burned out and looking for means of escape.
Though life is often unavoidably difficult, there are effective ways to manage how much we
become affected by stress. We'll explore some stress management methods in this article, but first,
we'll start by defining what stress is.
The Nature Of Stress
When we talk about stress, really we are often talking about how stress affects us in body mind and
spirit. Stress can be defined then as the reaction we have to difficult, demanding or challenging
events. Our bodies and minds have been designed with a 'fight or flight' reflex that helps to orient
and become alert when we are faced with challenging or dangerous events. Our attention gets
narrowed towards such events, and our brain instructs our bodies to prepare for possible physical
action such as confronting the event physically (e.g., 'fight') or running away from the source of the
danger (e.g., 'flight'). Muscular tension, increased heart rate, and higher concentrations of blood
sugars and hormones are involved in this process.
Our body's stress response is really designed for the people we once were; less sophisticated hunter-
gatherer type tribes people whose major sources of stress are where the next meal will come from
and how to avoid predators. The stressors faced by most of us today are less physical and concrete
than those faced by our ancestors; We worry instead about the threat of being laid off from work, of
how to keep our children from becoming drug addicts, and about what to do if terrorists attack.
Where our ancestors could deal with their stress reactions through direct physical activity (e.g.,
hunting for food, running away from an attacker), our own threats are less tangible and larger-scale
and we often are unable to find anyone to attack or run away from. Even when we can, for example,
attack someone as a way of discharging our tension, we often don't because we don't want to be
sued or arrested for breaking the law. Because we are often unable to discharge our activation we
end up experiencing this activated physical and mental state a lot of the time so that it ceases to be
just occassional 'acute stress' and becomes instead 'chronic stress'.
Stressful Events

Breakup of intimate romantic relationships, friendships

Death of a family member or friend

Economic hardships

advertisement

Racism and Discrimination

Poor Health
Assaults on physical safety

Birth or Adoption

Relationship transitions (marriage, moving away from home)

Promotion or Demotion at work

The table above lists a number of serious stressful events that people experience, often more than
one at a time. It's important to note that a given event doesn't have to be negative in tone to be
stressful; Any significantly challenging event, even positive ones like weddings, can create stress.
Where acute stress is healthy and very important to our well being, chronic stress is unhealthy. A
great number of diseases (physical and mental both) are either brought on in part or made worse by
people being chronically stressed out. Chronic stress also makes it more difficult for us to handle
our relationships well.
Coping With Stress
People try many ways, both positive and negative, to lessen their stress levels. Dysfunctional
negative and unhealthy methods of coping include:
• Addictions (alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, etc.)
• Smoking
• Over-eating
• Being Perfectionistic
These methods are considered dysfunctional because, over time, they end up making the situation
worse for people rather than making it better. Drinking as a means of stress reduction works in the
short term because alcohol is a powerful muscle and attention relaxer. Repeated use of alcohol ends
up causing 'tolerance' which means that people have to drink more and more to get the same effect.
The end result is addiction to alcohol (a very serious health and social risk) which only adds stress
to the drinker's life.
There are many positive and 'functional' methods of coping with stress:
• Relaxation/Meditation - Cultivating interior stillness and calmness through meditation and
relaxation techniques such as massage therapy, and progressive muscle relaxation.
• Exercise - Regular physical exertion of any intensity (a gentle 30 minute walk, a Yoga or
Pilates class, an hour long strenuous free-weight workout, etc.) helps discharge muscle
tension and build strength, resilience and energy.
• Healthy Diet - Eating healthy whole foods and avoiding sugary and fattening treats helps
keep the body's internal rhythms more balanced.
• Socialization And Supportive Conversation - Many people are able to relax and to feel part
of something larger than themselves by sharing their concerns with trusted others. This can
take the form of talking with friends and family, psychotherapy or counseling, or prayer.
• Assertive Communication - Some stress is caused by not getting what you want from other
people. Asking for what you want in a direct but polite way is the best method for getting
what you want, and thereby reducing stress.
• Time Management - Some stress is caused by poor organization. Learning how to manage
appointments, to say 'no' to requests you can't get done, to organize records, and to use
memory enhancement tools (like alarm clocks and 'palm pilots') can make a big difference.
• Asking For Assistance - Whatever it is that you are dealing with right now, other people
have dealt with it before. Seeking out their counsel when you don't know what to do is often
a good way to avoid reinventing the wheel.
The big problem with healthy coping strategies is that they often don't make one feel better
immediately; they only really work after one makes a commitment to practicing them repeatedly
over time. It takes some faith and a certain amount of discipline to make it possible for these
strategies to work.

Reference:
• http://www.surgeongeneral.gov/library/mentalhealth/
Stress is perhaps modern times’ most used word. We hear it everywhere. It has been written
numerous times and studied in all subject areas. Its effects are after all, far-reaching, affecting
health, mental performance and even energy levels. In fact, it is being blamed for some ailments
especially if there are no ways to detect its causes. Because of the great deal of information about it,
stress management has become a layman’s topic.

This, however, does not mean that it is such an easy thing to do. For people who don’t have an idea
on how to manage stress, it can be quite confusing. Below are some of the lessons that you have to
learn in stress management.

1. Life is full of stress


The earlier you accept this fact, the better you will be at dealing with stress. After all, what you
know cannot hurt you!

Life is full of stress. You cannot discount it and you cannot get rid of it. That’s why there is no way
of making stress not occur. The most that you can do is to manage it as much as you can and to
lessen its effects on you. In fact, you cannot even prevent it from happening. All you can possibly
do is make sure that you are prepared for it.

2. Medicines cannot help you all the way


Taking stress tabs can make you better able to cope with stress but this does not mean that you will
put all your faith into it and not do anything. Medicines can only do so much for you. After its
effects run out, it is also up to you to make yourself more prepared to deal with stress. Besides
taking medicines every time you are stressed out can lead to dependency especially with stress all
over the place, every minute, every hour.

3. Learn about your stressors


Not everyone gets stressed about the same thing. Some get stressed out when working on a project
while others find romantic liaisons extremely bothersome. Some feel that money need not be a
priority so much while others worry about it all the time. If you want to be able to manage your
stress well, take the time to learn what your stressors are. That way, you will know what to avoid.

4. Work on it.
If you are always stressed out over your work, complaining about it will actually only make you
stressed out all the more. The best thing to do when fighting stress is to deal with it head on. That
means, working on lessening the stressors in your environment and making sure that you can deal
with them when you encounter them.

5. De-stress
Some people feel that having fun on the side is something that they cannot do because they still
have a lot of unfinished things to do. Some even put off their vacation for months and months,
canceling booked flights because they just can’t leave their work. They do not realize that they can
actually finish their work ahead of time when they are nor stressed out.

When the body has rested and has de-stressed, that is the time when your mind and body can
function at its optimum levels, allowing you to work better and longer. The essence of stress
management is after all giving your self time to stop and relax.

"MENTAL HEALTH TRIVIAS"


» The Bear Road Elementary School children in North Syracuse, New York, were
instrumental in getting the governor to sign a bill making the Apple Muffin the official
New York State muffin.
» While the world was busy welcoming the arrival of the twentieth century on
December 31, 1900, a forceful gale on England's Salisbury Plain blew over one of the
ancient monumental stones at Stonehenge.
» Germany was the first European country to establish a system for health insurance
for its workers in 1888.
» Greek philosopher, Aristotle, believed that the heart was the center of the mental
process.
» According to Greek historian Herodotus, Egyptian men never became bald. The
reason for this was that, as children, Egyptian males had their heads shaved, and their
scalps were continually exposed to the health-giving rays of the sun.
» The second Monday of October in Japan is Taiiku no Hi, or Sports Day, a national
holiday intended to foster healthy minds and bodies through physical activity. It was
originally established to commemorate the 1964 Olympic Games held in Tokyo, which
were held from October 10 to 24. It was designated a national holiday two years later in
1966; in 2000, it was changed to the second Monday of the month.
» The modern Christmas custom of displaying a wreath on the front door of one's
house, is borrowed from ancient Rome's New Year's celebrations. Romans wished each
other "good health" by exchanging branches of evergreens. They called these gifts
strenae after Strenia, the goddess of health. It became the custom to bend these
branches into a ring and display them on doorways.
» Christmas caroling began as an old English custom called Wassailing — toasting
neighbors to a long and healthy life.
» Zoanthropy is a form of mental disorder in which the patient imagines himself to be
a beast.
» Sigmund Freud considered repression of the sense of smell a major cause of mental
illness.
» Seeing another person yawn makes it likely that you will yawn yourself. Thinking
about, even reading about yawning can set you off. People with mental disorders such
as psychoses rarely yawn.
» The most obese people in the world are in Russia, at 25.4 percent, followed by
Mexico, at 25.1 percent. Obesity is defined as 30 pounds or more over a healthy weight.
» The National Institute of Mental Health places fear of flying (aerophobia), second
only to fear of public speaking.
» The hair of an adult man or woman can stretch 25 percent of its length without
breaking. If it is less elastic, it is not healthy.
» The average healthy person can lose as much as one-third of his or her blood
without fatal results.
» The Spanish flu, misnamed since it likely originated in the United States, was unlike
most flu viruses, as it hit the young and healthy hardest. The pandemic killed 20 million
to 40 million people in 1918. Comparatively, about 13 million died in the battles of
World War I.
» A healthy man who is good physical shape has about 12 to 15 percent body fat. A
woman in good shape has between 15 to 18 percent. The models used in most of the
advertising for abdominal machines, on the other hand, have less than 10 percent body
fat.
» A bowl of lime Jell-O, when hooked up to an EEG machine, exhibited movement
which is virtually identical to the brain waves of a healthy adult man or woman.
» Experts at the Center of Ergonomics at the University of Michigan have concluded
that the tilt created where the seat and back of a rocking chair come together should be
greater than 90 degrees — 120 degrees are good, or even 135 — for the health of the
lower back.
» It is estimated that a healthy individual releases 3.5 oz. of gas in a single flatulent
emission, or about 17 oz. in a day.
Seeing another person yawn makes it likely that you will yawn yourself. Thinking about,
even reading about yawning can set you off. People with mental disorders such as
psychoses rarely yawn.
» The most obese people in the world are in Russia, at 25.4 percent, followed by
Mexico, at 25.1 percent. Obesity is defined as 30 pounds or more over a healthy weight.
» The National Institute of Mental Health places fear of flying (aerophobia), second
only to fear of public speaking.
» The hair of an adult man or woman can stretch 25 percent of its length without
breaking. If it is less elastic, it is not healthy.
» The average healthy person can lose as much as one-third of his or her blood
without fatal results.
» The Spanish flu, misnamed since it likely originated in the United States, was unlike
most flu viruses, as it hit the young and healthy hardest. The pandemic killed 20 million
to 40 million people in 1918. Comparatively, about 13 million died in the battles of
World War I.
» A healthy man who is good physical shape has about 12 to 15 percent body fat. A
woman in good shape has between 15 to 18 percent. The models used in most of the
advertising for abdominal machines, on the other hand, have less than 10 percent body
fat.
» A bowl of lime Jell-O, when hooked up to an EEG machine, exhibited movement
which is virtually identical to the brain waves of a healthy adult man or woman.
» Experts at the Center of Ergonomics at the University of Michigan have concluded
that the tilt created where the seat and back of a rocking chair come together should be
greater than 90 degrees — 120 degrees are good, or even 135 — for the health of the
lower back.
» It is estimated that a healthy individual releases 3.5 oz. of gas in a single flatulent
emission, or about 17 oz. in a day.
» The largest spider in the world is the goliath birdeater at a length of 11 inches. At
10.5 inches is the salmon pink birdeater, then is the slate red ornamental at 9 inches,
the king baboon at 8 inches, and the Colombian giant redleg at 8 inches.
» Fleas are essential to the health of armadillos and hedgehogs; they provide
necessary stimulation of the skin. Deloused armadillos and hedgehogs will die.
» The custom of distributing sugared almonds wrapped in tulle as a wedding favor
dates back to early European history. Sugared almonds symbolized then, as they do
now, good fortune, many children, happiness, love, and health.
» Government regulations prohibit bringing in fresh, dried, and canned meats or meat
products from most foreign countries. The Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service
estimates that it uncovers more than 3,000 violations a month at international airports,
seaports, and border ports.
» A heart attack most often occurs in the morning when mental and physical stress are
at their peak.
Seeing another person yawn makes it likely that you will yawn yourself. Thinking about,
even reading about yawning can set you off. People with mental disorders such as
psychoses rarely yawn.
» The most obese people in the world are in Russia, at 25.4 percent, followed by
Mexico, at 25.1 percent. Obesity is defined as 30 pounds or more over a healthy weight.
» The National Institute of Mental Health places fear of flying (aerophobia), second
only to fear of public speaking.
» The hair of an adult man or woman can stretch 25 percent of its length without
breaking. If it is less elastic, it is not healthy.
» The average healthy person can lose as much as one-third of his or her blood
without fatal results.
» The Spanish flu, misnamed since it likely originated in the United States, was unlike
most flu viruses, as it hit the young and healthy hardest. The pandemic killed 20 million
to 40 million people in 1918. Comparatively, about 13 million died in the battles of
World War I.
» A healthy man who is good physical shape has about 12 to 15 percent body fat. A
woman in good shape has between 15 to 18 percent. The models used in most of the
advertising for abdominal machines, on the other hand, have less than 10 percent body
fat.
» A bowl of lime Jell-O, when hooked up to an EEG machine, exhibited movement
which is virtually identical to the brain waves of a healthy adult man or woman.
» Experts at the Center of Ergonomics at the University of Michigan have concluded
that the tilt created where the seat and back of a rocking chair come together should be
greater than 90 degrees — 120 degrees are good, or even 135 — for the health of the
lower back.
» It is estimated that a healthy individual releases 3.5 oz. of gas in a single flatulent
emission, or about 17 oz. in a day.
» The largest spider in the world is the goliath birdeater at a length of 11 inches. At
10.5 inches is the salmon pink birdeater, then is the slate red ornamental at 9 inches,
the king baboon at 8 inches, and the Colombian giant redleg at 8 inches.
» Fleas are essential to the health of armadillos and hedgehogs; they provide
necessary stimulation of the skin. Deloused armadillos and hedgehogs will die.
» The custom of distributing sugared almonds wrapped in tulle as a wedding favor
dates back to early European history. Sugared almonds symbolized then, as they do
now, good fortune, many children, happiness, love, and health.
» Government regulations prohibit bringing in fresh, dried, and canned meats or meat
products from most foreign countries. The Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service
estimates that it uncovers more than 3,000 violations a month at international airports,
seaports, and border ports.
» A heart attack most often occurs in the morning when mental and physical stress are
at their peak.
Seeing another person yawn makes it likely that you will yawn yourself. Thinking about,
even reading about yawning can set you off. People with mental disorders such as
psychoses rarely yawn.
» The most obese people in the world are in Russia, at 25.4 percent, followed by
Mexico, at 25.1 percent. Obesity is defined as 30 pounds or more over a healthy weight.
» The National Institute of Mental Health places fear of flying (aerophobia), second
only to fear of public speaking.
» The hair of an adult man or woman can stretch 25 percent of its length without
breaking. If it is less elastic, it is not healthy.
» The average healthy person can lose as much as one-third of his or her blood
without fatal results.
» The Spanish flu, misnamed since it likely originated in the United States, was unlike
most flu viruses, as it hit the young and healthy hardest. The pandemic killed 20 million
to 40 million people in 1918. Comparatively, about 13 million died in the battles of
World War I.
» A healthy man who is good physical shape has about 12 to 15 percent body fat. A
woman in good shape has between 15 to 18 percent. The models used in most of the
advertising for abdominal machines, on the other hand, have less than 10 percent body
fat.
» A bowl of lime Jell-O, when hooked up to an EEG machine, exhibited movement
which is virtually identical to the brain waves of a healthy adult man or woman.
» Experts at the Center of Ergonomics at the University of Michigan have concluded
that the tilt created where the seat and back of a rocking chair come together should be
greater than 90 degrees — 120 degrees are good, or even 135 — for the health of the
lower back.
» It is estimated that a healthy individual releases 3.5 oz. of gas in a single flatulent
emission, or about 17 oz. in a day.
» The largest spider in the world is the goliath birdeater at a length of 11 inches. At
10.5 inches is the salmon pink birdeater, then is the slate red ornamental at 9 inches,
the king baboon at 8 inches, and the Colombian giant redleg at 8 inches.
» Fleas are essential to the health of armadillos and hedgehogs; they provide
necessary stimulation of the skin. Deloused armadillos and hedgehogs will die.
» The custom of distributing sugared almonds wrapped in tulle as a wedding favor
dates back to early European history. Sugared almonds symbolized then, as they do
now, good fortune, many children, happiness, love, and health.
» Government regulations prohibit bringing in fresh, dried, and canned meats or meat
products from most foreign countries. The Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service
estimates that it uncovers more than 3,000 violations a month at international airports,
seaports, and border ports.
» A heart attack most often occurs in the morning when mental and physical stress are
at their peak
» Seeing another person yawn makes it likely that you will yawn yourself. Thinking about,
even reading about yawning can set you off. People with mental disorders such as psychoses
rarely yawn.
» The most obese people in the world are in Russia, at 25.4 percent, followed by
Mexico, at 25.1 percent. Obesity is defined as 30 pounds or more over a healthy weight.
» The National Institute of Mental Health places fear of flying (aerophobia), second
only to fear of public speaking.
» The hair of an adult man or woman can stretch 25 percent of its length without
breaking. If it is less elastic, it is not healthy.
» The average healthy person can lose as much as one-third of his or her blood
without fatal results.
» The Spanish flu, misnamed since it likely originated in the United States, was unlike
most flu viruses, as it hit the young and healthy hardest. The pandemic killed 20 million
to 40 million people in 1918. Comparatively, about 13 million died in the battles of
World War I.
» A healthy man who is good physical shape has about 12 to 15 percent body fat. A
woman in good shape has between 15 to 18 percent. The models used in most of the
advertising for abdominal machines, on the other hand, have less than 10 percent body
fat.
» A bowl of lime Jell-O, when hooked up to an EEG machine, exhibited movement
which is virtually identical to the brain waves of a healthy adult man or woman.
» Experts at the Center of Ergonomics at the University of Michigan have concluded
that the tilt created where the seat and back of a rocking chair come together should be
greater than 90 degrees — 120 degrees are good, or even 135 — for the health of the
lower back.
» It is estimated that a healthy individual releases 3.5 oz. of gas in a single flatulent
emission, or about 17 oz. in a day.
» The largest spider in the world is the goliath birdeater at a length of 11 inches. At
10.5 inches is the salmon pink birdeater, then is the slate red ornamental at 9 inches,
the king baboon at 8 inches, and the Colombian giant redleg at 8 inches.
» Fleas are essential to the health of armadillos and hedgehogs; they provide
necessary stimulation of the skin. Deloused armadillos and hedgehogs will die.
» The custom of distributing sugared almonds wrapped in tulle as a wedding favor
dates back to early European history. Sugared almonds symbolized then, as they do
now, good fortune, many children, happiness, love, and health.
» Government regulations prohibit bringing in fresh, dried, and canned meats or meat
products from most foreign countries. The Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service
estimates that it uncovers more than 3,000 violations a month at international airports,
seaports, and border ports.
» A heart attack most often occurs in the morning when mental and physical stress are
at their peak.
MOTIVATION
Motivation is not something that is easy to come by, especially when you have grown up in a
neighborhood or household that is generally laid back and easy to please. But as you grow
older, you may come to realize that motivation is key to many human activities. For one, you
cannot simply sit back, relax, and watch your deadlines go by in school, or you may never get
your ticket to go to college.

You cannot simply slack off in college and drink yourself to death (or a series of F’s), or you
may never get a job. And when you are finally sitting at your desk or driving your car or
working or contributing to the economy, you cannot simply leave all your duties and lie down
at home. You will need to do as you did in school: meet deadlines, complete requirements,
finish reports, and in general, live your life without losing your energy.

How can you motivate yourself? For a lot of people who have been burned out in school,
college, or the workplace, this can be a difficult thing to achieve. However, there are a few tips
that you can consider when you feel that you cannot push yourself further or farther.

- Know what exactly it is you want. What are you motivating yourself to do? Do you merely
want to finish a job, or do you want to earn a lot of money? Set tangible, or at least
manageable goals for yourself. If you know exactly what you want, you can get it, and you can
motivate yourself to get it.

- Give your work a purpose. The problem with a lot of people is that they work hard but they
don’t know what their work is for. Do they want money? Are they simply working toward
money? Do you want money, or does your money have a purpose? Give yourself a tangible
purpose so that you can know what you are working for. Striving for money is an empty goal;
striving for money so that you can get a good house and a nice car might be more tangible;
striving for more money so that you can help your siblings go to college, your parents to enjoy
their retirement, and your family to have a better house and car might be even better.

- Take a break. Sometimes, being burned out means that you need to stay away from things
for a moment, have some time alone to yourself, and get an outsider’s view of your situation.
When you start getting fatigued more often, your body might be telling you to slow down; and
slowing down can mean re-energizing yourself by taking a vacation, or even just taking a walk.
You may want to set aside some alone time each day for you to recharge, so that you are not
constantly being barraged with work.

- Don’t be afraid to say no when you are offered yet another duty. Sometimes, you can get so
much work that you are saturated with stress, and you reach the point where you simply want
to give up and not start working. Keep your work to a manageable level. You need to stay sane
to keep on working in the long run.

- Reward yourself for a job well done! Plan out a trip for yourself, or promise to take yourself
to the movies if you complete your work. Little rewards, such as snacks and a cup of hot
chocolate, can work too.
BUILDING SELF-ESTEEM

Self-esteem is defined as the way a person feels and thinks about him or herself. It is believed that
self-esteem is developed during the childhood years. It is largely affected by how one has been
treated by the people surrounding him or her particularly his or her parents.

Many individuals suffer from low-esteem. When someone has low self-esteem it affects all facets of
his or her life. Low self-esteem can have adverse effects in ones confidence, ability to build and
maintain friendships and romantic relationships, career development or work performance. It could
also lead to unhappiness and a generally unsatisfactory life. Self-esteem is rooted in ones belief in
ones self. When ones doubts or has u uncertainties when it comes to his or her capacities then he or
she is likely to be suffering from low self-esteem.

Statistics are unavailable but it is estimated that millions of people around the world are suffering
from low self-esteem. It affects even those in developed and industrialized countries such as the
United States and United Kingdom.

Fortunately for these individuals, there are many ways to build self-esteem. One of the most
effective of these ways is to have a positive self image. A positive self image simply means an
agreeable or favorable view of ones self including ones talents and abilities and physical attributes.
In other words, to have a healthy self-esteem one must be able to like or love him or herself. If you
do not like yourself you simply cannot have high self esteem.

Another way to avoid having low self esteem is to get rid of negative thoughts. How do you this?
The most important thing is to be able to recognize a negative thought as it enters your mind. One
cannot simply will a negative thought away. The most effective way to dispel negative thoughts is
to replace them with positive ones. If, for example, you are beginning to have doubts. Then simply
replace these doubtful thoughts with thoughts of confidence and belief.

It is important that you change the negative thought immediately and not let it linger in your mind.
If a negative though stays in the mind for a long time then there is the possibility that it could turn
into a habit. In which case, it would be very difficult to dispel or get rid of it.

Another powerful way to deal with negative thoughts and thus build self-esteem is through positive
affirmations. These are words that suggest positive beliefs and ideas and are meant to be read or
recited repeatedly. One of the most popular affirmation goes like this: In every day, in every way I
am getting better and better. If you are having negative thoughts and are suffering from low self-
esteem then try to say this affirmation to yourself several times throughout the day.

Finally, you can also improve your self-esteem by hanging out with positive and supportive friends
and relatives. This is probably the most effective way of improving ones self-esteem. The words of
encouragement and even praises of these individuals can do wonders to your self-esteem. Their love
and understanding is definitely more powerful than any affirmation or positive thought. Sometimes
just knowing that somebodY.
Self-esteem is defined as the way a person feels and thinks about him or herself. It is believed that
self-esteem is developed during the childhood years. It is largely affected by how one has been
treated by the people surrounding him or her particularly his or her parents.

Many individuals suffer from low-esteem. When someone has low self-esteem it affects all facets of
his or her life. Low self-esteem can have adverse effects in ones confidence, ability to build and
maintain friendships and romantic relationships, career development or work performance. It could
also lead to unhappiness and a generally unsatisfactory life. Self-esteem is rooted in ones belief in
ones self. When ones doubts or has u uncertainties when it comes to his or her capacities then he or
she is likely to be suffering from low self-esteem.

Statistics are unavailable but it is estimated that millions of people around the world are suffering
from low self-esteem. It affects even those in developed and industrialized countries such as the
United States and United Kingdom.

Fortunately for these individuals, there are many ways to build self-esteem. One of the most
effective of these ways is to have a positive self image. A positive self image simply means an
agreeable or favorable view of ones self including ones talents and abilities and physical attributes.
In other words, to have a healthy self-esteem one must be able to like or love him or herself. If you
do not like yourself you simply cannot have high self esteem.

Another way to avoid having low self esteem is to get rid of negative thoughts. How do you this?
The most important thing is to be able to recognize a negative thought as it enters your mind. One
cannot simply will a negative thought away. The most effective way to dispel negative thoughts is
to replace them with positive ones. If, for example, you are beginning to have doubts. Then simply
replace these doubtful thoughts with thoughts of confidence and belief.

It is important that you change the negative thought immediately and not let it linger in your mind.
If a negative though stays in the mind for a long time then there is the possibility that it could turn
into a habit. In which case, it would be very difficult to dispel or get rid of it.

Another powerful way to deal with negative thoughts and thus build self-esteem is through positive
affirmations. These are words that suggest positive beliefs and ideas and are meant to be read or
recited repeatedly. One of the most popular affirmation goes like this: In every day, in every way I
am getting better and better. If you are having negative thoughts and are suffering from low self-
esteem then try to say this affirmation to yourself several times throughout the day.

Finally, you can also improve your self-esteem by hanging out with positive and supportive friends
and relatives. This is probably the most effective way of improving ones self-esteem. The words of
encouragement and even praises of these individuals can do wonders to your self-esteem. Their love
and understanding is definitely more powerful than any affirmation or positive thought. Sometimes
just knowing that somebody believes in you makes you believe in yourself also.
ANGER MANAGEMENT
Anger is an emotion experienced by kids and adults alike. When something or someone interferes
with an individual in a negative manner, it can cause them to become angry. Anger is a normal
response to such a situation. However anger can be classed as a mild or intense irritation.
Depending on the individual, the circumstance and their emotions, anger may cause a person to
become enraged or even furious. People who become angry behave in different ways. Some lash
out or become extremely defensive. Other people tend to keep their anger to themselves, bottling up
their negative emotions and hurt. While some people become reckless and even abusive. Anger can
be a terribly harmful emotion if it isn't controlled.

Controlling anger is considered anger management. The first step to controlling anger issues it to
admit there is a problem. Some people have major anger issues but cannot see it. Naturally
something happens to set a person off making them angry. Individuals, who have trouble admitting
to their anger and accepting responsibility for their actions, often play the blame game. They have
difficulty seeing the situation as being their fault. There's always something or someone to blame.
Their fits of anger are always blamed on something else. These people could really use a few
lessons in anger management. However they need to accept their actions and reactions for what they
are, anger.

Many people who have anger issues find it demeaning when anger management is suggested.
Unable to accept their problem prevents them from seeking the help they require. If a person
continues down a path where they are constantly angry and acting out, it will eventually cause
major problems. Without anger management this individual will likely experience loss, loss of their
family, loss of their job and loss of their own identity.

It is essential to convince the person with anger problems, anger management is not meant to be a
punishment but rather to help them have a better quality of life. Anger management is designed to
help the individual work out their problems, help them figure out why they become so angry. It also
teaches the person not to be enslaved by their emotions, their anger. Anger management is meant to
teach the person techniques which prevent them from getting angry as often or for very long.

There are all sorts of anger management strategies. There are programs created specifically to help
those with anger issues. These programs are broken down to address different people, kids, teens,
adults, couples and families. These anger management programs are in place to teach or help people
to work on their anger. Teaching people strategies for working out their problems and controlling
their anger are important in anger management.

Anger may be a healthy, normal emotion but when the anger takes over an individual's life making
them destructive and violent, it's a big problem. Not only does the anger destroy the individual but it
also impacts everyone and everything around them. Anger management could change this
individual and ensure a healthy, normal life.
Reference:http://www.mentalhealthrehab.com
SOCIALIZATION
Living the law of attraction to gain more friends is more important than just applying the law
of attraction for situations. When you live the law of attraction, you are actually changing
your lifestyle and not merely applying some techniques. Here I'll show you how to live the law
of attraction so that you can gain more friends in 5 steps.
1. Have the confidence in meeting people
One of the main obstacles for people growing their circle of friends is having the confidence to
meet people. You can apply the law of attraction to give yourself more confidence when meeting
people.
Think about yourself taking the initiative to meet people you don't know and introduce yourself. Do
this in your visualization. See yourself walking up to people confidently and see them reacting to
you in a friendly manner. See them giving you respect for being a confident person.
2. Self Affirmation
Say to yourself that you have lots of friends and that you will try to allocate your time to each one.
Say to yourself that you have more friends that you can handle and that you are happy to spend time
with them.
Say to yourself that your huge army of friends will provide the help and knowledge you need
whenever you need them.
This gives off positive vibrations and you will start to believe that you'll be making friends non-
stop.
3. Expect To Meet friends
Whenever you go out with your friends to a social gathering, expect to meet more friends. Before
entering the gathering, expect to meet quite a lot of interesting people there and expect that you'll
become good friends with them in the near future.
The law of attraction works best when you believe what you are desiring. When you expect
something to happen without any doubt, you speed up the results from using the law of attraction.
4. Visualize Friend Gathering
When you are visualizing, see yourself having a party in your house. See all your friends coming
over and enjoying themselves.
Imagine yourself being the host and introducing the friends that don't know each other. Feel and
hear everybody laughing and see yourself shaking everyone's hands as they leave the party.
This type of visualization is very powerful. You are attracting happiness to your life and you are
attracting friends. Do this visualization often and you'll be attracting more friends that you can
handle.
5. What to do when you meet someone
When you are introduced to someone for the first time, after greeting them with a smile, imagine
yourself becoming good friends with them. As you shake their hand, see yourself having a drink
with them and talking about business and family matters with them.
Imagine them coming up to your house and spending the night with your family. You are using the
law of attraction on the spot and to continue with this, think about this new friend at night as you go
to bed and believe that you will meet them again and will become good friends.

Spend more time around people. If you want to make friends, you first need to put yourself
out there somehow in order to meet people. Friends seldom come knocking on your door
while you sit at home playing computer games.
Ads by Google

Meet Foreign Men


Foreign Men Seek Filipina Ladies for Dating and Chat. Join Free Now!
www.FilipinaHeart.com
• 2
Join an organization with people who have common interests. You don't necessarily have to
have a lot of common interests with people in order to make friends with them. In fact, some of the
most rewarding friendships are between two people who don't have much in common at all, but if
you have something in common with people, it can make it a lot easier to start a conversation and
plan activities together.
• 3
Use the web, but get out! You can join any group or just start your own. If you don't know of a
specific topic, try searching for just a location. It's a great way to meet new local people! Social
networking sites such as Facebook, Frucle and MySpace are great way to meet new people and
learn more about the people you meet.
• 4
Join a sports team. A common misconception about this is that you have to be really good at
playing a particular sport in order to make friends with others on the team, but not all teams are so
competitive. As long as you enjoy the sport and support your teammates, joining a local team with a
laid-back attitude could be a great way to make new friends.
• 5
Volunteer. Volunteering is a great way for people of all ages to meet others. By working together
you build bonds with people, and you might meet others who have a passion for changing things the
way you do—a common cause.
• 6
Talk to people. You can join a club, go to school, or go to church but you still won't make friends
if you don't actually talk to people. By the same token, you don't have to be involved with an
organization to be social, and any time you talk to someone, you have a chance at making a lasting
friend. You can talk to anybody: the clerk at the video store, the person sitting next to you on the
bus, or the person in front of you on the lunch line. Don't be too picky. Most conversations will be a
dead-end of sorts--when you may never talk to that person again, or you just remain acquaintances--
but once in a while you'll actually make a friend.
• 7
Make eye contact and smile. If you have an unfriendly countenance, people are less likely to be
receptive to your friendship. Be approachable by not squinting (get some glasses), frowning or
appearing blankly deadpan, such expressions may look troubled or disinterested.
• 8
Start a conversation. There are many ways to do this; a comment about your immediate
environment (The weather is a classic: "At least it's not raining like last week!"), a request for help
("Can you help me carry a few boxes, if you have a minute?" or "Can you help me decide which
one of these is a better gift for my mom?") or a compliment ("That's a nice car." or "I love your
shoes."). Follow up immediately with a related question: Do you like this warm weather? What
kinds of gifts do you normally buy for your mom? Where did you get shoes like that?
• 9
Make small talk. Keep the conversation light and cheery. Even if you're complaining about
something, make sure it's something you're both dissatisfied with, and emphasize the positive—how
such a situation can be avoided in the future, or alternatives. Bounce a few words back and forth for
a little bit. Many conversationalists say that it is good to follow a 30/70 (30% talking, 70%
listening) pattern during small talk when possible.
• 10
Introduce yourself towards the end of the conversation. It can be as simple as saying "Oh, by the
way, my name is...". Once you introduce yourself, the other person will typically do the same.
Remember his or her name! If you show that you remembered things from your past
conversation(s) with the person, not only will you look intelligent but he or she will see that you
were paying attention and are willing to be a true friend.
• 11
Initiate a get-together. You can chat your heart out but it won't get you a friend if you don't open
up the opportunity for another conversation or meeting. This is especially important if you meet
someone who you aren't otherwise likely to meet again. Seize the day!
• 12
If you've discovered that the person you're talking to has a common interest, ask him or her
more about it and, if appropriate, whether they get together with others (in a club, for
example) to pursue this interest. If so, this is a perfect opportunity to ask about joining them. If
you clearly express interest (when? where? can anyone come?) they'll probably invite you. If you
have a club, band, church, etc. that you think they might enjoy, take the opportunity to give them
your number or email address and invite them to join you.
• 13
Ask them out for lunch or coffee. That will give you a better opportunity to talk and get to know
each other a little bit better. A good way to extend yourself is to say: "Hey, well, I've got to go, but
if you ever want to talk over lunch or coffee or anything like that, let me give you my number/e-
mail address." This gives the person the opportunity to contact you; they may or may not give you
their information in return, but that's fine. Maybe they don't have time for new friends—don't take it
personally! Just offer your contact info to whoever seems to be potentially a good friend, and
eventually somebody will get in touch.
• 14
Don't do anything to pressure someone into being friends with you. Never chide acquaintances
for failing to invite you to a party, for example; don't call someone repeatedly or stop by uninvited
(unless you have established that stopping by unannounced is o.k.); and refrain from overstaying
your welcome anywhere. In general, take friendship slowly, and don't try to force intimacy to grow
quickly; the move from acquaintance to friend can take a long time. It's understandable to want
more of a good thing, but try to err on the side of less. If you are not sure about the pace of your
new friendship, check in with your friend and ask directly. Too much, too fast can be scary or
intimidating, and not everybody is able to say "Slow down..." - instead, they may run the other way!
• 15
Be a good friend. Once you've started spending time with potential friends, remember to do your
part (i.e. initiating some of the activities, remembering birthdays, asking how the other person is
feeling) or else the friendship will become unbalanced and an uneasiness or distance is likely to
arise.
• 16
Be reliable. If you and your friend agree to meet somewhere, don't be late, and do not stand them
up. If you're not going to make it on time or make it at all, call them as soon as you realize it.
Apologize and ask to reschedule. Don't make them wait for you unexpectedly; it's rude, and it is
certainly not a good way to launch a potential friendship. When you say you'll do something, do it.
Be someone that people know that they can count on.
• 17
Be a good listener. Many people think that in order to be seen as "friend material" they have to
appear very interesting. Far more important than this, however, is the ability to show that you're
interested in others. Listen carefully to what people say, remember important details about them
(their names, their likes and dislikes), ask questions about their interests, and just take the time to
learn more about them. You don't want to be the guy or girl that always has a better story than
anyone else or that changes the subject abruptly instead of continuing the flow of conversation.
These people appear too wrapped up in themselves to be good friends--"one-ups-man-ship" is a put
down.
• 18
Be trustworthy. One of the best things about having a friend is that you have someone to whom
you can talk about anything, even secrets that you hide from the rest of the world. The key to being
a good confidante is the ability to keep secrets, so it's no secret that you shouldn't tell other people
things that were told to you in confidence. Before people even feel comfortable opening up to you,
however, you need to build trust. Be honest about yourself and your beliefs, and don't gossip about
others or spread rumors or they will think you like stories better than friends.
• 19
Be there for the person. You've probably heard of fair-weather friends. They're the ones who are
happy to be around you when things are going well, but are nowhere to be found when you really
need them. Part of being a friend is being prepared to make sacrifices of your time and energy in
order to help out your friends. If a friend needs help with an unpleasant chore, or if he or she just
needs a shoulder to cry on, be there.
• 20
Choose your friends wisely. As you befriend more people, you may find that some are easier to get
along with than others. While you always give people the benefit of the doubt, sometimes you
realize that certain friendships are unhealthy, such as if a person is obsessively needy or controlling
towards you, constantly critical, or introducing dangers or threats into your life. If this is the case,
ease your way out of the friendship as gracefully as possible. Preoccupy yourself with other things,
such as a new volunteer opportunity, so that you can honestly say that you don't have enough time
in your schedule to spend time with them (but don't substitute their time for time with other friends;
they may notice and become jealous, and more drama will ensue). Cherish those friends you make
who are a positive influence in your life, and do your best to be a positive influence in theirs.
• 21
"Friends of a Friend"If you have a friend who knows some good people that you aren't
aquainted with, ask them to invite those people to hang out with the two of you. It is a great
way to make some friends who have common interests.

EMOTION CONTROL
Many times in life you may have regretted uttering certain words when very angry. Indeed, letting
out vindictive and hateful words at other people can cause permanent damage to your relationship
with them. Hence, it is best that you learn how to control your emotions in order to avoid situations
where you can hardly get hold of yourself, such that you feel sorry in the end.
To control your emotion, take note of these suggestions:
1. Recognize what and how you feel about a particular circumstance. Know the things that
make you joyful, sad, afraid and angry. By matching your emotions with specific situations,
you will be able to understand your psyche better, hence enabling you to deal with your
emotions more efficiently.
2. Don’t attempt to keep your emotion inside you at all times. Out of your own fear that you
may be giving away your feelings too much, or that you might hurt someone else’s feelings
or ego, there could be a tendency for you to hold back your emotion. But there are times
when you just need to express your emotion, albeit under reasonable control, so that it will
not be bottled up inside you. The worst thing that can happen is for you to contain your
emotion and later explode when you are no longer able to hold it back.
3. Analyze your reactions to previous incidents in your life. Did you yell at the person who
suddenly crossed the road as you shifted your wheels to the next bend? Did you ignore the
little girl neighbor when she tried to chat you up with a high strung “Hello, Mr. Smith!”?
Now, think of other ways by which you could have responded to these situations, and what
could be the result if you did so. By doing this you will now recreate mini-scenarios in your
mind much as if they are appearing to you in flashcards. With this you can have a more
objective approach in dealing with your own emotions under certain conditions.
After evaluating and analyzing your own emotions, you can now imagine your options as to how
you should handle yourself next time you are confronted with similar incidents. Likewise, you can
decide now which reaction will yield positive results and which one may result in negative
consequences.
• Understand that you can never change how you feel towards certain things unless you
change your attitude and beliefs in life. Your emotion can sometimes ruin chances for
important opportunities in life. Take the following case for instance: Since you have
convinced yourself that your boss is playing favorites among your peers, you have decided
to declare a silent war with him and his favorite employee. Now because you have that
hidden resentment towards these two people, you adopt a negative attitude toward your
work. Your performance suffers so that your superiors’ evaluation is below the standard
rankings. In short, you lose your chance of obtaining a higher position during the next wave
of promotions in your office. You may not be able to instantly overcome your negative
emotion toward your co-workers, but you can slowly change it by adjusting your view on
these people. Once you have changed your view or perspective, your emotion will
eventually transform to a more positive leaning.
• Sometimes we become unreasonable when we are faced with overwhelming negativities.
However, human beings are supposed to be rational, hence learning how to control our
emotions and not letting our emotions control us should be our primary concern.
REFERENCE: http://www.howtodothings.com/family-relationships/how-to-control-
emotion

You might also like