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There is no doubt about it; the world is a difficult place to live. Making a living, raising a family,
and negotiating relationships are difficult but necessary tasks for all people - and these sources of
stress are just the normal everyday ones. Abuse, violence, chaos, disease, misfortune and other 'out
of the ordinary' sorts of situations can and do add additional layers of stress to our lives. It's no
wonder that many people become tense, burned out and looking for means of escape.
Though life is often unavoidably difficult, there are effective ways to manage how much we
become affected by stress. We'll explore some stress management methods in this article, but first,
we'll start by defining what stress is.
The Nature Of Stress
When we talk about stress, really we are often talking about how stress affects us in body mind and
spirit. Stress can be defined then as the reaction we have to difficult, demanding or challenging
events. Our bodies and minds have been designed with a 'fight or flight' reflex that helps to orient
and become alert when we are faced with challenging or dangerous events. Our attention gets
narrowed towards such events, and our brain instructs our bodies to prepare for possible physical
action such as confronting the event physically (e.g., 'fight') or running away from the source of the
danger (e.g., 'flight'). Muscular tension, increased heart rate, and higher concentrations of blood
sugars and hormones are involved in this process.
Our body's stress response is really designed for the people we once were; less sophisticated hunter-
gatherer type tribes people whose major sources of stress are where the next meal will come from
and how to avoid predators. The stressors faced by most of us today are less physical and concrete
than those faced by our ancestors; We worry instead about the threat of being laid off from work, of
how to keep our children from becoming drug addicts, and about what to do if terrorists attack.
Where our ancestors could deal with their stress reactions through direct physical activity (e.g.,
hunting for food, running away from an attacker), our own threats are less tangible and larger-scale
and we often are unable to find anyone to attack or run away from. Even when we can, for example,
attack someone as a way of discharging our tension, we often don't because we don't want to be
sued or arrested for breaking the law. Because we are often unable to discharge our activation we
end up experiencing this activated physical and mental state a lot of the time so that it ceases to be
just occassional 'acute stress' and becomes instead 'chronic stress'.
Stressful Events
Economic hardships
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Poor Health
Assaults on physical safety
Birth or Adoption
The table above lists a number of serious stressful events that people experience, often more than
one at a time. It's important to note that a given event doesn't have to be negative in tone to be
stressful; Any significantly challenging event, even positive ones like weddings, can create stress.
Where acute stress is healthy and very important to our well being, chronic stress is unhealthy. A
great number of diseases (physical and mental both) are either brought on in part or made worse by
people being chronically stressed out. Chronic stress also makes it more difficult for us to handle
our relationships well.
Coping With Stress
People try many ways, both positive and negative, to lessen their stress levels. Dysfunctional
negative and unhealthy methods of coping include:
• Addictions (alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, etc.)
• Smoking
• Over-eating
• Being Perfectionistic
These methods are considered dysfunctional because, over time, they end up making the situation
worse for people rather than making it better. Drinking as a means of stress reduction works in the
short term because alcohol is a powerful muscle and attention relaxer. Repeated use of alcohol ends
up causing 'tolerance' which means that people have to drink more and more to get the same effect.
The end result is addiction to alcohol (a very serious health and social risk) which only adds stress
to the drinker's life.
There are many positive and 'functional' methods of coping with stress:
• Relaxation/Meditation - Cultivating interior stillness and calmness through meditation and
relaxation techniques such as massage therapy, and progressive muscle relaxation.
• Exercise - Regular physical exertion of any intensity (a gentle 30 minute walk, a Yoga or
Pilates class, an hour long strenuous free-weight workout, etc.) helps discharge muscle
tension and build strength, resilience and energy.
• Healthy Diet - Eating healthy whole foods and avoiding sugary and fattening treats helps
keep the body's internal rhythms more balanced.
• Socialization And Supportive Conversation - Many people are able to relax and to feel part
of something larger than themselves by sharing their concerns with trusted others. This can
take the form of talking with friends and family, psychotherapy or counseling, or prayer.
• Assertive Communication - Some stress is caused by not getting what you want from other
people. Asking for what you want in a direct but polite way is the best method for getting
what you want, and thereby reducing stress.
• Time Management - Some stress is caused by poor organization. Learning how to manage
appointments, to say 'no' to requests you can't get done, to organize records, and to use
memory enhancement tools (like alarm clocks and 'palm pilots') can make a big difference.
• Asking For Assistance - Whatever it is that you are dealing with right now, other people
have dealt with it before. Seeking out their counsel when you don't know what to do is often
a good way to avoid reinventing the wheel.
The big problem with healthy coping strategies is that they often don't make one feel better
immediately; they only really work after one makes a commitment to practicing them repeatedly
over time. It takes some faith and a certain amount of discipline to make it possible for these
strategies to work.
Reference:
• http://www.surgeongeneral.gov/library/mentalhealth/
Stress is perhaps modern times’ most used word. We hear it everywhere. It has been written
numerous times and studied in all subject areas. Its effects are after all, far-reaching, affecting
health, mental performance and even energy levels. In fact, it is being blamed for some ailments
especially if there are no ways to detect its causes. Because of the great deal of information about it,
stress management has become a layman’s topic.
This, however, does not mean that it is such an easy thing to do. For people who don’t have an idea
on how to manage stress, it can be quite confusing. Below are some of the lessons that you have to
learn in stress management.
Life is full of stress. You cannot discount it and you cannot get rid of it. That’s why there is no way
of making stress not occur. The most that you can do is to manage it as much as you can and to
lessen its effects on you. In fact, you cannot even prevent it from happening. All you can possibly
do is make sure that you are prepared for it.
4. Work on it.
If you are always stressed out over your work, complaining about it will actually only make you
stressed out all the more. The best thing to do when fighting stress is to deal with it head on. That
means, working on lessening the stressors in your environment and making sure that you can deal
with them when you encounter them.
5. De-stress
Some people feel that having fun on the side is something that they cannot do because they still
have a lot of unfinished things to do. Some even put off their vacation for months and months,
canceling booked flights because they just can’t leave their work. They do not realize that they can
actually finish their work ahead of time when they are nor stressed out.
When the body has rested and has de-stressed, that is the time when your mind and body can
function at its optimum levels, allowing you to work better and longer. The essence of stress
management is after all giving your self time to stop and relax.
You cannot simply slack off in college and drink yourself to death (or a series of F’s), or you
may never get a job. And when you are finally sitting at your desk or driving your car or
working or contributing to the economy, you cannot simply leave all your duties and lie down
at home. You will need to do as you did in school: meet deadlines, complete requirements,
finish reports, and in general, live your life without losing your energy.
How can you motivate yourself? For a lot of people who have been burned out in school,
college, or the workplace, this can be a difficult thing to achieve. However, there are a few tips
that you can consider when you feel that you cannot push yourself further or farther.
- Know what exactly it is you want. What are you motivating yourself to do? Do you merely
want to finish a job, or do you want to earn a lot of money? Set tangible, or at least
manageable goals for yourself. If you know exactly what you want, you can get it, and you can
motivate yourself to get it.
- Give your work a purpose. The problem with a lot of people is that they work hard but they
don’t know what their work is for. Do they want money? Are they simply working toward
money? Do you want money, or does your money have a purpose? Give yourself a tangible
purpose so that you can know what you are working for. Striving for money is an empty goal;
striving for money so that you can get a good house and a nice car might be more tangible;
striving for more money so that you can help your siblings go to college, your parents to enjoy
their retirement, and your family to have a better house and car might be even better.
- Take a break. Sometimes, being burned out means that you need to stay away from things
for a moment, have some time alone to yourself, and get an outsider’s view of your situation.
When you start getting fatigued more often, your body might be telling you to slow down; and
slowing down can mean re-energizing yourself by taking a vacation, or even just taking a walk.
You may want to set aside some alone time each day for you to recharge, so that you are not
constantly being barraged with work.
- Don’t be afraid to say no when you are offered yet another duty. Sometimes, you can get so
much work that you are saturated with stress, and you reach the point where you simply want
to give up and not start working. Keep your work to a manageable level. You need to stay sane
to keep on working in the long run.
- Reward yourself for a job well done! Plan out a trip for yourself, or promise to take yourself
to the movies if you complete your work. Little rewards, such as snacks and a cup of hot
chocolate, can work too.
BUILDING SELF-ESTEEM
Self-esteem is defined as the way a person feels and thinks about him or herself. It is believed that
self-esteem is developed during the childhood years. It is largely affected by how one has been
treated by the people surrounding him or her particularly his or her parents.
Many individuals suffer from low-esteem. When someone has low self-esteem it affects all facets of
his or her life. Low self-esteem can have adverse effects in ones confidence, ability to build and
maintain friendships and romantic relationships, career development or work performance. It could
also lead to unhappiness and a generally unsatisfactory life. Self-esteem is rooted in ones belief in
ones self. When ones doubts or has u uncertainties when it comes to his or her capacities then he or
she is likely to be suffering from low self-esteem.
Statistics are unavailable but it is estimated that millions of people around the world are suffering
from low self-esteem. It affects even those in developed and industrialized countries such as the
United States and United Kingdom.
Fortunately for these individuals, there are many ways to build self-esteem. One of the most
effective of these ways is to have a positive self image. A positive self image simply means an
agreeable or favorable view of ones self including ones talents and abilities and physical attributes.
In other words, to have a healthy self-esteem one must be able to like or love him or herself. If you
do not like yourself you simply cannot have high self esteem.
Another way to avoid having low self esteem is to get rid of negative thoughts. How do you this?
The most important thing is to be able to recognize a negative thought as it enters your mind. One
cannot simply will a negative thought away. The most effective way to dispel negative thoughts is
to replace them with positive ones. If, for example, you are beginning to have doubts. Then simply
replace these doubtful thoughts with thoughts of confidence and belief.
It is important that you change the negative thought immediately and not let it linger in your mind.
If a negative though stays in the mind for a long time then there is the possibility that it could turn
into a habit. In which case, it would be very difficult to dispel or get rid of it.
Another powerful way to deal with negative thoughts and thus build self-esteem is through positive
affirmations. These are words that suggest positive beliefs and ideas and are meant to be read or
recited repeatedly. One of the most popular affirmation goes like this: In every day, in every way I
am getting better and better. If you are having negative thoughts and are suffering from low self-
esteem then try to say this affirmation to yourself several times throughout the day.
Finally, you can also improve your self-esteem by hanging out with positive and supportive friends
and relatives. This is probably the most effective way of improving ones self-esteem. The words of
encouragement and even praises of these individuals can do wonders to your self-esteem. Their love
and understanding is definitely more powerful than any affirmation or positive thought. Sometimes
just knowing that somebodY.
Self-esteem is defined as the way a person feels and thinks about him or herself. It is believed that
self-esteem is developed during the childhood years. It is largely affected by how one has been
treated by the people surrounding him or her particularly his or her parents.
Many individuals suffer from low-esteem. When someone has low self-esteem it affects all facets of
his or her life. Low self-esteem can have adverse effects in ones confidence, ability to build and
maintain friendships and romantic relationships, career development or work performance. It could
also lead to unhappiness and a generally unsatisfactory life. Self-esteem is rooted in ones belief in
ones self. When ones doubts or has u uncertainties when it comes to his or her capacities then he or
she is likely to be suffering from low self-esteem.
Statistics are unavailable but it is estimated that millions of people around the world are suffering
from low self-esteem. It affects even those in developed and industrialized countries such as the
United States and United Kingdom.
Fortunately for these individuals, there are many ways to build self-esteem. One of the most
effective of these ways is to have a positive self image. A positive self image simply means an
agreeable or favorable view of ones self including ones talents and abilities and physical attributes.
In other words, to have a healthy self-esteem one must be able to like or love him or herself. If you
do not like yourself you simply cannot have high self esteem.
Another way to avoid having low self esteem is to get rid of negative thoughts. How do you this?
The most important thing is to be able to recognize a negative thought as it enters your mind. One
cannot simply will a negative thought away. The most effective way to dispel negative thoughts is
to replace them with positive ones. If, for example, you are beginning to have doubts. Then simply
replace these doubtful thoughts with thoughts of confidence and belief.
It is important that you change the negative thought immediately and not let it linger in your mind.
If a negative though stays in the mind for a long time then there is the possibility that it could turn
into a habit. In which case, it would be very difficult to dispel or get rid of it.
Another powerful way to deal with negative thoughts and thus build self-esteem is through positive
affirmations. These are words that suggest positive beliefs and ideas and are meant to be read or
recited repeatedly. One of the most popular affirmation goes like this: In every day, in every way I
am getting better and better. If you are having negative thoughts and are suffering from low self-
esteem then try to say this affirmation to yourself several times throughout the day.
Finally, you can also improve your self-esteem by hanging out with positive and supportive friends
and relatives. This is probably the most effective way of improving ones self-esteem. The words of
encouragement and even praises of these individuals can do wonders to your self-esteem. Their love
and understanding is definitely more powerful than any affirmation or positive thought. Sometimes
just knowing that somebody believes in you makes you believe in yourself also.
ANGER MANAGEMENT
Anger is an emotion experienced by kids and adults alike. When something or someone interferes
with an individual in a negative manner, it can cause them to become angry. Anger is a normal
response to such a situation. However anger can be classed as a mild or intense irritation.
Depending on the individual, the circumstance and their emotions, anger may cause a person to
become enraged or even furious. People who become angry behave in different ways. Some lash
out or become extremely defensive. Other people tend to keep their anger to themselves, bottling up
their negative emotions and hurt. While some people become reckless and even abusive. Anger can
be a terribly harmful emotion if it isn't controlled.
Controlling anger is considered anger management. The first step to controlling anger issues it to
admit there is a problem. Some people have major anger issues but cannot see it. Naturally
something happens to set a person off making them angry. Individuals, who have trouble admitting
to their anger and accepting responsibility for their actions, often play the blame game. They have
difficulty seeing the situation as being their fault. There's always something or someone to blame.
Their fits of anger are always blamed on something else. These people could really use a few
lessons in anger management. However they need to accept their actions and reactions for what they
are, anger.
Many people who have anger issues find it demeaning when anger management is suggested.
Unable to accept their problem prevents them from seeking the help they require. If a person
continues down a path where they are constantly angry and acting out, it will eventually cause
major problems. Without anger management this individual will likely experience loss, loss of their
family, loss of their job and loss of their own identity.
It is essential to convince the person with anger problems, anger management is not meant to be a
punishment but rather to help them have a better quality of life. Anger management is designed to
help the individual work out their problems, help them figure out why they become so angry. It also
teaches the person not to be enslaved by their emotions, their anger. Anger management is meant to
teach the person techniques which prevent them from getting angry as often or for very long.
There are all sorts of anger management strategies. There are programs created specifically to help
those with anger issues. These programs are broken down to address different people, kids, teens,
adults, couples and families. These anger management programs are in place to teach or help people
to work on their anger. Teaching people strategies for working out their problems and controlling
their anger are important in anger management.
Anger may be a healthy, normal emotion but when the anger takes over an individual's life making
them destructive and violent, it's a big problem. Not only does the anger destroy the individual but it
also impacts everyone and everything around them. Anger management could change this
individual and ensure a healthy, normal life.
Reference:http://www.mentalhealthrehab.com
SOCIALIZATION
Living the law of attraction to gain more friends is more important than just applying the law
of attraction for situations. When you live the law of attraction, you are actually changing
your lifestyle and not merely applying some techniques. Here I'll show you how to live the law
of attraction so that you can gain more friends in 5 steps.
1. Have the confidence in meeting people
One of the main obstacles for people growing their circle of friends is having the confidence to
meet people. You can apply the law of attraction to give yourself more confidence when meeting
people.
Think about yourself taking the initiative to meet people you don't know and introduce yourself. Do
this in your visualization. See yourself walking up to people confidently and see them reacting to
you in a friendly manner. See them giving you respect for being a confident person.
2. Self Affirmation
Say to yourself that you have lots of friends and that you will try to allocate your time to each one.
Say to yourself that you have more friends that you can handle and that you are happy to spend time
with them.
Say to yourself that your huge army of friends will provide the help and knowledge you need
whenever you need them.
This gives off positive vibrations and you will start to believe that you'll be making friends non-
stop.
3. Expect To Meet friends
Whenever you go out with your friends to a social gathering, expect to meet more friends. Before
entering the gathering, expect to meet quite a lot of interesting people there and expect that you'll
become good friends with them in the near future.
The law of attraction works best when you believe what you are desiring. When you expect
something to happen without any doubt, you speed up the results from using the law of attraction.
4. Visualize Friend Gathering
When you are visualizing, see yourself having a party in your house. See all your friends coming
over and enjoying themselves.
Imagine yourself being the host and introducing the friends that don't know each other. Feel and
hear everybody laughing and see yourself shaking everyone's hands as they leave the party.
This type of visualization is very powerful. You are attracting happiness to your life and you are
attracting friends. Do this visualization often and you'll be attracting more friends that you can
handle.
5. What to do when you meet someone
When you are introduced to someone for the first time, after greeting them with a smile, imagine
yourself becoming good friends with them. As you shake their hand, see yourself having a drink
with them and talking about business and family matters with them.
Imagine them coming up to your house and spending the night with your family. You are using the
law of attraction on the spot and to continue with this, think about this new friend at night as you go
to bed and believe that you will meet them again and will become good friends.
Spend more time around people. If you want to make friends, you first need to put yourself
out there somehow in order to meet people. Friends seldom come knocking on your door
while you sit at home playing computer games.
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EMOTION CONTROL
Many times in life you may have regretted uttering certain words when very angry. Indeed, letting
out vindictive and hateful words at other people can cause permanent damage to your relationship
with them. Hence, it is best that you learn how to control your emotions in order to avoid situations
where you can hardly get hold of yourself, such that you feel sorry in the end.
To control your emotion, take note of these suggestions:
1. Recognize what and how you feel about a particular circumstance. Know the things that
make you joyful, sad, afraid and angry. By matching your emotions with specific situations,
you will be able to understand your psyche better, hence enabling you to deal with your
emotions more efficiently.
2. Don’t attempt to keep your emotion inside you at all times. Out of your own fear that you
may be giving away your feelings too much, or that you might hurt someone else’s feelings
or ego, there could be a tendency for you to hold back your emotion. But there are times
when you just need to express your emotion, albeit under reasonable control, so that it will
not be bottled up inside you. The worst thing that can happen is for you to contain your
emotion and later explode when you are no longer able to hold it back.
3. Analyze your reactions to previous incidents in your life. Did you yell at the person who
suddenly crossed the road as you shifted your wheels to the next bend? Did you ignore the
little girl neighbor when she tried to chat you up with a high strung “Hello, Mr. Smith!”?
Now, think of other ways by which you could have responded to these situations, and what
could be the result if you did so. By doing this you will now recreate mini-scenarios in your
mind much as if they are appearing to you in flashcards. With this you can have a more
objective approach in dealing with your own emotions under certain conditions.
After evaluating and analyzing your own emotions, you can now imagine your options as to how
you should handle yourself next time you are confronted with similar incidents. Likewise, you can
decide now which reaction will yield positive results and which one may result in negative
consequences.
• Understand that you can never change how you feel towards certain things unless you
change your attitude and beliefs in life. Your emotion can sometimes ruin chances for
important opportunities in life. Take the following case for instance: Since you have
convinced yourself that your boss is playing favorites among your peers, you have decided
to declare a silent war with him and his favorite employee. Now because you have that
hidden resentment towards these two people, you adopt a negative attitude toward your
work. Your performance suffers so that your superiors’ evaluation is below the standard
rankings. In short, you lose your chance of obtaining a higher position during the next wave
of promotions in your office. You may not be able to instantly overcome your negative
emotion toward your co-workers, but you can slowly change it by adjusting your view on
these people. Once you have changed your view or perspective, your emotion will
eventually transform to a more positive leaning.
• Sometimes we become unreasonable when we are faced with overwhelming negativities.
However, human beings are supposed to be rational, hence learning how to control our
emotions and not letting our emotions control us should be our primary concern.
REFERENCE: http://www.howtodothings.com/family-relationships/how-to-control-
emotion