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Split Personality 090708

Split Personality 090708

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Published by ritaandreeva

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Published by: ritaandreeva on Nov 15, 2010
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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01/09/2013

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FADE INEXT. DRIVEWAY OF JEFF’S HOUSE – EARLY EVENINGTED is driving up in his old but sporty car. Driving upis nicely put - he’s flinging his car into JEFF’sdriveway so it rocks back and forth.INT. JEFF’S HOUSE.Both guys are in their 20’s. Ted is the better looking ofthe two; he has a goatee, lots of piercings, he’s dressedstylishly. Jeff has long hair, wears dorky glasses, and hissloppy clothes, obviously, are worn only out of barenecessity. Jeff is a computer nerd. He lives with a middle-aged sugar-momma he found on internet. Jeff almost nevergoes out, unless he is forcefully invited and whoeverinvites him pays for everything. He talks to Ted in aslightly condescending tone. He considers himself a trueBuddhist and pities anyone who is struggling with life orwants anything out of it. TEDHey, Jeffy, Karaoke time!JEFFWhy don’t you just go by yourself,you know I don’t really like…TEDCome on! I want to hang out withmy best friend tonight! I’ll buyyou a beer.JEFFOkay.Ted and Jeff go to the neighborhood Karaoke bar. They sitdown at a little table. Some guy is singing. JEWEL comesto take their order. She’s wearing a tight revealing blackt-shirt, a mini-skirt and leggings. Her hair has brightcolor streaks. She’s in her early 20’s, very pretty.TEDWe’ll have a pitcher of yourhouse-special.She nods and leaves.
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JEFFThat guy’s singing isn’t too bad.TEDHe sucks. Everyone sucks, exceptme. The waitress chick is hot! Ithink I’m in love.JEFFPoor girl…The waitress comes back with a pitcher and two glasses.TEDDid you just start here? What’syour name?JEWELJewel.TEDThat’s a perfect name for someoneas precious as you!JEWELThanks.Ted pours himself a beer, looks into his glass andexclaims:TEDWow! Holy shit!JEWELIs something wrong with yourbeer?TEDNo. It’s just… you see, I canread beer foam. People read tealeaves and I read beer bubbles.JEWELWhat does your beer say?TED
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It says you’re coming home withme tonight.JEWELYou can’t read beer. I have aboyfriend - the one singing.TEDCorrection. Ex-boyfriend. He’snot good enough for you. Jeffyhere was just saying earlier howhis singing sucks. Right, Jeffy?JEFFDude, you were the one… JEWELI have my own ears, and they tellme that I go out only with first-rate singers.TEDIn that case, I’ll make a dealwith you. I’ll get up in frontof that mike next. If my singingis clearly superior to that ofyour dude, you are coming withme.She sneers.JEWELWhat makes you think I’d makeany deals with you!She walks off.Ted gets up and walks over to the mike, grabbing thesongbook on the way and quickly flipping through it. Hehands it to the MC pointing to the song of his choice.TEDThis guy is hogging the mike. Letother people have a go!The MC takes the mike from Jewel’s boyfriends and hands itto Ted. Ted starts singing, “You are the apple of my eye…”His voice is soft, velvety, powerful. He is looking at
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