Professional Documents
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Conflict is an important part of managing self. Most of the time, we find ourselves in
conflict situations and in ever going process of resolving these conflicts consciously as
well as subconsciously. Conflict among individuals and between groups is a predictable
and important part life. It can be personally and socially constructive, such as a focused
debate on an issue that brings about increased growth in personal and social
consciousness. A conflict becomes destructive when it destroys human dignity and
degrades the values, ethics and life principles.
Definition
Conflict has been defined as "an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent
parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from the
other party in achieving their goals.” Important concepts in this definition include
"expressed struggle," which means the two sides must communicate about the problem
for there to be conflict. Another important idea is that conflict often involves perceptions.
The two sides may only perceive that their goals, resources and interference are
incompatible with each other's.
Conflict is an option, created by the choices you make. You always have the opportunity
of choosing to choose again. Therefore, conflicts can be resolved by electing different
choices with resolution so firmly in mind that it naturally leads to a shared vision of the
future toward which to build.
If you have to deal with other people, you will, sooner or later, have to deal with conflict.
Conflict is not inherently bad. In fact, conflict simply stems from differing viewpoints.
Since no two people view the world exactly the same way, disagreement is quite normal.
In fact, anyone who agrees with you all of the time is probably telling you what you want
to hear, and not what he or she actually believes.
The reason conflict has received such bad press is because of the emotional aspects that
come along with it. When there is conflict, it means that there is strong disagreement
between two or more individuals. The conflict is usually in relation to interests or ideas
that are personally meaningful to either one or both of the parties involved.
Conflict Related Facts
1. It is inevitable.
2. It develops because we are dealing with people's lives, jobs, children, pride, self
concept, ego and sense of mission or purpose.
3. Early indicators of conflict can be recognized.
4. There are strategies for resolution that are available and do work.
5. Although inevitable, conflict can be minimized, diverted and/or resolved.
Reasons of Conflict
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Poor communication
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Seeking power
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Dissatisfaction with management style
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Weak leadership
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Lack of openness
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Change in leadership
Conflict Indicators
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Body language
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Disagreements, regardless of issue
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Withholding bad news
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Airing disagreements through media
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Conflicts in value system
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Desire for power
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Increasing lack of respect
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Open disagreement
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Lack of clear goals
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No discussion of progress and failure relative to goals, failure to evaluate the
superintendent fairly and thoroughly or not at all
When is Conflict Destructive?
Conflict is destructive when it
a. takes attention away from other important activities.
b. undermines morale or selfconcept.
c. polarizes people and groups, reducing cooperation.
d. increases or sharpens difference.
e. leads to irresponsible and harmful behavior, such as fighting, namecalling etc.
When is Conflict Constructive?
Conflict is constructive when it
a. results in clarification of important problems and issues.
b. results in solutions to problems.
c. involves people in resolving issues important to them.
d. causes authentic communication.
e. helps release emotion, anxiety and stress.
f. builds cooperation among people through learning more about each other.
g. helps individuals develop understanding and skills.
Positive and Negative Aspects of Conflict
Negative aspects of conflict are as follows:
1. It diverts time, energy and money away from the organization's goals.
2. The situation can turn into continuous conflict.
3. It can adversely affect the health of the involved parties.
4. It can lead to sabotage, stealing, lying and distortion of information.
Positive aspects of conflict are as follows:
1. It usually causes changes.
2. It activates people.
3. It is a form of communication.
4. It can be healthy in that it relieves pentup emotions and feelings.
5. It can be educational in that the participants often learn about themselves and the
other people involved.
6. The aftermath of conflict can be a stronger and better work environment.
Conflict is a Natural Part of Human Life
Conflict exists in all relationships, groups, culture and every level of social structure.
Although conflict is often uncomfortable and energy consuming, it can be a positive force
for change and bring an otherwise stagnant organization or relationship out of dormancy
and into new life and vitality. Conflict is a challenge to people at both individual and
group level and can cause growth. It can also be destructive if it is not faced and dealt
with in a constructive manner. It can lead to violence or even war.
Dimensions of Conflict
Bernard Mayer describes conflict as perception, feeling and action. It exists if at least one
person believes or perceives that it exists and engages another in the conflict process
whether the other shares the perception or not. "Conflict is an emotional reaction to a
situation or interaction that signals disagreement of some kind. The emotions felt might
be fear, sadness, bitterness, anger or hopelessness," said Mayer. Unless conflict is
externalized as action, it remains merely as an internal tension. It must be expressed or
articulated. It can involve an attempt to make something happen at someone else's
expense or it can be conciliatory, but the purpose is to get one's needs met. Another
important point Mayer makes is that the feelings associated with conflict frequently
diminish as people increase their awareness of the existence and nature of the dispute.
Conflict caused by Unmet Needs
The core of human conflict is human need. When people have needs that are not being
met or needs that are inconsistent with the needs of others, they engage in conflict. Some
of those needs are survival needs such as food, shelter, health or security. Some are based
on identity needs, such as the need for community, meaning, intimacy or autonomy.
Conflicts in Interpersonal Relationships
Sometimes, in interpersonal relationships, such as those between you and one of your
friends, there may be a conflict that you are not aware of. If someone who is normally
upbeat and friendly toward you suddenly begins avoiding you or being rude, there is
usually a reason. If the person has remained cheerful with everyone else except you,
chances are you are dealing with a conflict situation. In these instances, you will want to
address the problem by proceeding through the following steps.
1. Try to determine if there is a problem between you and the other person.
2. If you think there is a problem, set up a private facetoface meeting to discuss the
problem with the other person.
3. In a nonconfrontational manner, ask the person if there is a problem. If his/her
answer is "no," inform the person that you think there is a problem and explain what
you think the problem is.
4. As you talk, ask for feedback. Do not "attack" the other person with accusations.
5. Try to listen to each other with open minds.
6. Be sure to respect each other's opinions.
7. Take a few minutes to recycle the other person's opinions in your mind.
8. Try to determine why the other person felt the way he/she did.
9. Avoid "fingerpointing."
10. Try to work out a compromise that pleases both of you.
Conflicts in Meetings
Conflicts in meetings can be very disruptive. But they can also be very helpful.
Remember, conflicts are disagreements. If the person who is disagreeing with you is
raising valid questions, it may benefit the group to address the issues they are presenting.
In fact, by listening to them, you may gain valuable insight into what is and what is not
working within your organization. However, if the person continues past the point of
disagreement to the point of disruptiveness, specific steps, like the ones below, should be
taken.
1. Find some "grain of truth" in the other person's position that you can build upon.
2. Identify areas of agreement in the two positions.
3. Defer the subject to later in the meeting to handle.
4. Document the subject and set it aside to discuss in the next meeting.
5. Ask to speak with the individual after the meeting or during a break.
6. See if someone else in the meeting has a response or recommendation.
7. Present your view, but do not force agreement. Let things be and go on to the next
topic.
8. Agree that the person has a valid point and there may be some way to make the
situation work for both parties.
9. Create a compromise.
Conflicts in Negotiations
When you are negotiating with your clients, subordinates or even your friends, it is
important to always keep in mind the idea that both parties are seeking a winwin
situation. No one wants to feel like they are giving away something for nothing. In fact,
most conflicts arise because one party feels like the other party is taking advantage of
them. In order to avoid these types of situations, there are certain principles you can
apply to increase your chances of a successful negotiation. These are as follows:
1. Avoid defendattack interaction. It is nonproductive every time.
2. Seek more information by ask a lot of questions.
3. Check understanding and summarize by making sure that you understand everything.
4. Try to understand the other person's perspective. Communication is more than just
listening. Try to see it their way.
Types of Conflict
Pseudo Conflict
It refers to those misunderstandings in which we perceive that there is a conflict when
there is none. For instance, Mark and John may agree upon a topic but not realize this.
They are interpreting one another's messages as being counter to their own messages.
This failure to understand and to realize their misunderstanding creates relational conflict.
Solution Listen mindfully and check your perceptions with your partner. Try to avoid
assumptions and mind reading.
Ego Conflict
This occurs when you are emotionally invested in a decision. We believe that if others
disagree with us, they are rejecting us. Thus, we become stubborn, willful and proud.
Solution Recognize that conflicts occur between the best of friends. No one will agree
with another all the time. Disagreements are not an indication that the relationship is in
trouble. Show grace if you have been obstinate and recognize that you have been wrong.
Learn to apologize and to take responsibility for creating an ego conflict.
Simple Conflict
It is a difference of opinion that both parties recognize, acknowledge and accept. The
conflict may be over how to share limited resources, whom to support in an election, or
where to go for a dinner.
Solution Agree to disagree in an agreeable manner. If the issue is minor, it is easier to
compromise or accommodate. If the issue is major, it is better to collaborate to resolve
the conflict.
Relationship Conflicts
These conflicts occur because of the presence of strong negative emotions,
misperceptions or stereotypes, poor communication or miscommunication, or repetitive
negative behaviors. Relationship problems often fuel disputes.
Solution Support the safe and balanced expression of perspectives and emotions for
acknowledgment (not agreement). It is one effective approach to managing relational
conflict.
Data Conflicts
These conflicts occur when people lack information necessary to make wise decisions,
are misinformed, disagree on which data is relevant, interpret information differently, or
have competing assessment procedures. Some data conflicts may be unnecessary since
they are caused by poor communication between the people in conflict.
Solution Most data conflicts have "data solutions."
Interest Conflicts
These conflicts are caused by competition over perceived incompatible needs. Conflicts
of interest result when one or more of the parties believe that in order to satisfy his or her
needs, the needs and interests of an opponent must be sacrificed. Interestbased conflict
will commonly be expressed in positional terms.
Solution The parties must be assisted to define and express their individual interests so
that all of these interests may be jointly addressed. Interestbased conflict is best resolved
through the maximizing integration of the parties' respective interests, positive intentions
and desired experiential outcomes.
Comparison between Destructive and Constructive Conflict
Destructive Conflict
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Diverts energy from real task
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Destroys morale
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Polarizes individuals and groups
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Deepens differences
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Obstructs cooperative action
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Produces irresponsible behavior
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Creates suspicion and distrust
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Decreases productivity
Constructive Conflict
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Opens up an issue in a
confronting manner
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Develops clarification of an issue
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Improves problemsolving
quality
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Increases involvement
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Provides more spontaneity in
communication
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Initiates growth
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Strengthens a relationship when
creatively resolved
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Helps increase productivity
Consequences of Conflict
The consequences of conflict, whether positive or negative, are largely dependent upon
the types of differences that lead to the disagreement. Disagreements among team
members are bound to occur. But, so long as they focus on substantive, issuerelated
differences of opinion, they tend to improve team effectiveness. These types of
disagreements are cognitive conflict. As team members gather to make important
decisions, they bring different ideas, opinions and perspectives to the table. Cognitive
conflict is beneficial because it requires teams to engage in activities that are essential for
a team's effectiveness. It focuses attention on assumptions that may underlie a particular
issue and which are often ignored. It improves the quality of team decisions.