Realities of One-Night Stands Revealed
ByJeanna Bryner , Senior Writer posted: 10 July 2008 08:27 am ETWhen it comes to one-night stands, men and women are poles apart. Guys just want,well, you know, while gals go to bed with the false impression of flattery and a cravingfor feeling desirable.The upshot, according to new research, is great for most men and the pits for mostwomen. The study goes further under the covers, delving into the nuances of casual sex and its potential as a Venus-and-Mars minefield.Among the findings: Women were not hooking up in an effort to secure a long-term beau, but because they felt flattered by the overnight proposition.They were mistaken.As the researcher points out, men lower their standards when it comes toone-nightstands, so the presumed flattery is a fantasy or close to it."Often [women] said things like, 'I felt so flattered, so happy that he found me attractive.It was so nice to be wanted,'" said researcher Anne Campbell, a psychologist at DurhamUniversity in England. "What women don't seem to see is that men drop their standardsmassively for a one-night stand."She added, "No woman should be flattered because a man wants to have sex with her once."
Real feelings, real data
While most research on the topic of casual sex has relied on fictitious vignettes or justhaving participants imagine they had a one-night stand, the new findings are based onself-reports of feelings following an actual hook-up.Campbell says in the June issue of the journal
that the findings suggestwomen are not well adapted to promiscuity.Women have much more to lose, while men are in a win-win situation. For the ladies, a baby on the way is a huge responsibility, but a guy can just bail."The bottom line is the risks are potentially greater for women," said Todd Shackelford,an evolutionary psychologist at Florida Atlantic University who was not involved in the