12 communication barriers1.
. Criticism involves judgmental states that usually put down a person. "Don't do it that way","You're wrong", "You're not very good at...", and "You need to lose weight" are a few simple criticisms. Wethink criticism changes people, though it only reveals our own problems. Kill this barrier before it kills yourrelationships.2.
. Labels are names. An extreme form of labels is name-calling. "You're a jerk", "You are silly",and "I think you're mean" are some examples of labeling. Labeling is a barrier to communication because itcategorizes people. It assumes people to have characteristics and destroys uniqueness that makes anenjoyable relationship.3.
. A diagnosis is one of the more complex barriers to effective communication. It involvesreading into a person's behavior. I call it "playing the amateur psychologist". Some examples of thediagnosing barrier are: "You're just jealous about...", "You need to be happier", and "Stop trying toantagonize me."4.
. People are always surprised when they hear praise is a communication barrier. Praise is notalways a barrier because it depends on how it is given. Praise is so often poorly given as it makes people -especially children - dependent on receiving verbal rewards. "You're a good boy", "I love you for doing whatyou did", and "You're a lovely person because you think about me". Learn to praise a person's behavior, andbe specific, to avoid evaluative praise and making people dependent on your praise.5.
. Orders are controlling statements to get people doing something. They are akin to dictatorship."Go wash the dishes", "Stop complaining", and "Stop fighting with..." Orders force people to comply basedon authoritative power. The result is resistant change and resentment. It is very common for people to rebelagainst orders so they regain their freedom. Psychologists call this "psychological reactance".6.
. A threat is similar to an order, except it has emphasis on punishment. "Go wash the dishesor I won't cook for you tomorrow night", "Stop complaining or you'll be sent to your room", "Stop fightingwith... or you'll be grounded". Just like orders, threats create fear, temporary results, and resentment -while killing a relationship.7.
. How could questioning be abarrier to effective communication? Like praise, there are typesof questioning that make it a roadblock to good relationship communication. Rhetorical questions is onecommon form of poor questioning. Examples include, "Why do you disobey me?" "Why do you always dowrong?" and "What about my needs? You constantly ignore them."
"Well, you brought that on yourself."
"You bullheaded, stupid jerk."