Disniat ch
1S patct
Ahealing hand
‘Columbus-area therapist to share expertise on two-part 'Oprah' about
male sexual abuse
Thursday, November 4, 2010 02:54AM
BY JEFFREY SHEBAN
‘THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH
Acentral Ohio psychologist and expert on male sexual
abuse will be featured in back-to-back Friday episodes of
‘The Oprah Winfrey Show.
Howard R. Fradkin, founder in 1982 of the
psychotherapy practice Affirmations, joins Winfrey and
filmmaker/actor Tyler Perry, who recently revealed the
physical and sexual abuse he suffered as a boy.
The segments, to air Friday and Nov. 12, also
‘encompass the stories of 200 male survivors who were
flown to Chicago to serve as a studio audience and to share
their experiences. Many have struggled to lead healthy,
balanced lives as adults.
Winfrey made headlines 24 years ago when she
acknowledged being sexually abused as a child.
"I'm more proud of these two shows than almost
anything else I've done in my career," the talk-show host
said ina statement.
Fradkin, 58, took some time after taping the segments
(GEORGE BURNS
Howard R. Fradkin, center, making a
point during a discussion with
filmmaker/actor Tyler Perry and
talk-show host Oprah Winfrey
‘* The Oprah Winfrey Show airs
at 4pm,
weekdays on WBNS-TV
(Channel 10).
Howard R. Fradkin and
‘several central
Ohio men who participated in
‘the Oprah
episodes will take part in a
panel discussion
from 2 ta 4 p.m. Nov. 14 in
Room
348 of Ohio State University's
Moritz
College of Law, 55 W. 12th
‘Ave. The free
‘event is open to the public.
to talk to The Dispatch.
Q: How prevalent a problem is male sexual abuse?
A: We know from statistics that one in every six men is
sexually abused before the age of 18, which means this is a
significant national problem. If you include noncontact
forms of abuse, such as a person exposing himself or
herself to a child, the statistics are one in four.
Q: Those are very big numbers.
‘A: Yeah, much higher than most people realize.
Q: Tell us about your private practice in Columbus and the workshops you lead across the
country,
A: Affirmations: A Center for Psychotherapy and Growth is a multidisciplinary practice
with psychologists, social workers, marriage and family counselors and chemical-dependency
counselors. We specialize in working with male and female trauma survivors.
I've been leading MaleSurvivor Weekends of Recovery in the U.S. and Canada since 2001.
‘They're designed to be an experiential weekend where men feel safe enough to tell the story
of their abuse, reduce their shame and discover they can join with other men to heal
themselves and each other.
Q: How did you end up on Oprah?
A: Oprah's staff researched the people in the field and chose to invite me because of my
extensive work in the trenches.
Q: What's it like sharing a stage with the most powerful woman in broadcasting?
A; Lfelt tremendously honored, thrilled, affirmed and grateful.
Q: Were you nervous?
‘A: Lwas the most calm I've ever been in my entire career. [ attribute that calm to Oprah,
Tyler, all the men in the audience (whom) I knew personally through the weekends, and to all
the people in my life who love me. And to all the progress I've made in my own recovery from.
sexual abuse.
Q: What are some of the myths associated with male sexual abuse?
‘A: The biggest myth is that boys and men can't be victims, because men in our society are
always supposed to be in control and powerful. Another myth is that men who are abused
will go on to perpetrate abuse upon others.
Also, that only men can abuse men or boys, when, in fact, males and females are capable of
perpetrating. And that most sexual abuse is perpetrated by gay men, when, in fact, the vast
majority of pedophiles are heterosexual.
Q: Can abuse of children result in confusion over their sexual identities as adults?
A: Yes, absolutely. Abuse in and of itself does not determine one's sexual orientation.
However, when boys are abused, they can become very confused about their sexual
orientation and experience problems with sexual functioning and sexual arousal.
Q: In the Oprah segment airing Friday, a number of audience members share their
stories. Are there common themes you hear from survivors?
A: One is that boys and men who are sexually abused are oftentimes severely traumatized
for a very long time. The aftermath of abuse results in many common symptoms, including
depression, anxiety, engaging in addictions, difficulty with intimacy and increased risk of
suicide.
Q: It was big news when Winfrey said in 1986 that she was a childhood victim of sexual
abuse. Perry revealed in great detail the extent of his abuse. What is the effect of these
celebrity revelations?
‘A: I greatly honor the courage that Oprah and Tyler demonstrated by their willingness to
beso public about their abuse. It gives male and female survivors across the planet
tremendous permission to speak their truths.
As African-Americans, it affords people of color very important permission to violate
cultural taboos about speaking these important truths.
Q: The second segment, which will air next week, includes wives, partners and girlfriends
of abuse survivors. What issues are they dealing with?
A: The biggest challenge for partners is overcoming the blocks to intimacy that survivors
create to protect themselves from feared harm. It can be difficult for abuse survivors to
combine sex and love, and, as a result, healthy sexual intimacy is a major challenge for many
couples.
Q: Is therapy effective, or do the scars last a lifetime?
A: Therapy is absolutely effective for many survivors, provided that the therapist is trained
to work with male survivors. Other forms of help can be equally useful, including self-defense
training and peer-group support.
I want all survivors to know that healing is absolutely possible and achievable.
jsheban@dispatch.com