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The Second City Parody - "Good Will Bunting"

The Second City Parody - "Good Will Bunting"



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Published by kathleen
Draft one of my "Good Will Hunting" parody
Draft one of my "Good Will Hunting" parody

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Published by: kathleen on Dec 01, 2010
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


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“GOOD WILL BUNTING”Written by Kathleen FitzgeraldNovember 28, 2010 (Version #1)CASTWillhemina (Will) Bunting - 25-year-old janitor from SouthieThe Cakemaster - Award-winning Le Cordon Bleu professorThe Cakemaster’s Minion – Dessert boy, Cakemaster’s Asst.The Psychologist (Dr. Peter Roberts) – College Friend ofThe CakemasterMaureen – Will’s best friend from SouthieMoira – Will’s friend from SouthieMariah – Will’s friend from Southie(Scene opens on hallway at Le Cordon Bleu Culinary School. A portly Cakemaster paces up and down a florescent-lithallway, staring at a perfectly-decorated double-tier,octagonal wedding cake with glazed bunt accents.)THE CAKEMASTERSummon my Le Cordon Bleu advanced cake decorating class! I want to know who frosted this impossible octagonal weddingcake to such perfection.THE CAKEMASTER’S MINIONYes, sir.THE CAKEMASTER’S MINION scampers away. THE CAKEMASTERfollows after him, shaking his head in disbelief.WILLHEMINA (Will) BUNTING and her Southie friend, MAUREEN,are hanging out on a stoop. Two other friends, MOIRA andMARIAH, enter.MAUREENGood call picking this stoop for us to hang, Will. This isthe best stoop I’ve ever had.WILLHEMINA (WILL)That’s what Moira’s father said to me last night.MOIRA (In thick Southie Boston accent) Eh, feck you.WILLComeback of the century!
 MARIAHIgnore her, Will. Moira’s just mad that Knuckles McGeestopped calling her for a little knapsack action.MOIRA What does “knapsack action” mean?MARIAHVery little to the people who find themselves in theknapsack with you.(MOIRA and MARIAH start shoving each other and fightingplayfully.)MAUREENEh! Eh! Away from the stoop to do that!(Blackout. Cakemaster’s voice heard in the darkness.)THE CAKEMASTER (V.O.)Whoever frosted the octagonal wedding cake that I left inthe hallway, please come forward and identify yourself. Ittook my Le Cordon Bleu colleagues and I two years to glazea similar bunt, and you managed to pipette one millionsugar flowers in one night. (Pause.) Alright then, I’m going to place a children’s character cake in the hallway.Whoever can decorate that cake as Betty Crocker herselfintended will receive my undying praise and Cordonnotoriety.(Lights up. WILL seen pipetting in spotlight, surrounded bydarkness. CAKEMASTER and CAKEMASTER’s MINION approach.)THE CAKEMASTERStop right there!WILLGo funfetti yourself!WILL walks off, leaving THE CAKEMASTER and THE CAKEMASTER’sMINION staring in awe at a glorious dessert masterpiece.THE CAKEMASTER(slowly, enunciating every syllable) My.God.in puff pastryheaven. Hallowed by Thy Cream.THE CAKEMASTER’S MINION
Look at those sugar crystals. (In a whispered hush)Exquisite beauty.THE CAKEMASTERMore extravagant than the 24 karat gold-infused hautechocolate mousse I made for Liza Minelli’s wedding to Ms.David Gest. (pause) Minion, find out who that janitor is!(Blackout while Elliott Smith plays. Cut to CAKEMASTERsitting in his office with WILL BUNTING seated in front ofhim.)THE CAKEMASTERSo you’re telling me that you’re neither a student at LeCordon Bleu nor do you have any formal pastry training?WILLI didn’t feel like droppin a hundred and fifty grand on afuckin education I coulda got for free by bootlegging TheFood Network from the guy in Apartment 1B.THE CAKEMASTERStudying at Le Cordon Bleu would certainly be slumming foryou.WILLThey don’t say it “blew” for nothing. With all due respect,I agreed to this set up because mah parole officah said it was either baking brioches or battling bitches at theMassachusetts Women’s Correctional Facility.THE CAKEMASTERIt’s time for you to meet with the psychologist anyway.Work on this cylindrical crème brule cake while I let Dr.Roberts in downstairs.(CAKEMASTER leaves while WILL sets to the crème brule. THECAKEMASTER returns with THE PSYCHOLOGIST.)THE CAKEMASTERWill, meet my old college roommate, Dr. Peter Roberts.THE PSYCHOLOGISTNice to meet you, Willhemina. I’ve heard a lot about you.THE CAKEMASTER

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Hyla Molander added this note
"Don't want to look at the semi-sweet side of your life? You're terrified of what you might taste." Awesome!!
Tammy Nam added this note
Kathleen! Who knew you were such a comedic playwright? LOVE it.
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